Accident
Your eyes open. For real this time, you’re pretty sure. No mirror, no bathroom, just a yellow ceiling. Wait, yellow?
Where are you? Are you sure it isn’t cream, it’s close enough to be cream, maybe your eyes are still adjusting? Are you back?! Back there?! It’s not navy blue, not the surface! Where are you?
“S-sans, calm d-down! it’s okay!”
...Alphys?
You try and turn your head to look at her, but find you can’t move. Not like you’re restrained, but like your head's too heavy, too sunken into the deep mattress you’re resting upon. Apparently sensing this, Alphys’ head peeks over you and into your line of sight. She looks nervous, and fumbles her words a bit before actually getting out a sentence.
“I… Are you-...Do- do you remember w-what happened? Are y-you okay?”
You chose to answer the latter. “y-” You cough, choking on your words. “y-yeah.” You try again, successfully this time.
Your metaphorical heart is still beating rapidly in your chest, and you have a feeling you would be shaking if not for feeling so heavy, but other than that you’re okay. Probably. Depends on what happens next.
“w-where are we?” You ask, voice still rough and adjusting to waking up.
“M-my room.” Alphys takes a nervous glance to the side before looking straight at you once more. “Sans, d-do you remember what h-happened?”
The tone in her voice is urgent, and it seems as if there’s no avoiding this question. You can even move, much less be cognitive enough to come up with a believable lie to get out of the situation. “um…” You do the next best thing your half-asleep mind can think of. You stall. “i mean…”
Alphys immediately looks panicked and you begin to regret your decision slightly. “Oh my god.” She mutters to herself, “Oh my god, you m-might have c-caused brain damage o-or s-something and I- I c-can’t fix t-this n-now it’s too l-late! I t-thought I… I thought I… Oh m-my god. O-oh my-”
Before she dives any further into thinking she caused something irreversible, you interrupt. “alphys.” She’s left your vision and is off somewhere else in the room, still incoherently speaking. You say her name a bit louder. “alphys. alph.” This gets her attention and she comes back over to you.
You put all your effort into making the best attempt you can to sit up, but really only manage to prop your head up on the pillow behind you. “i…” You sigh, your voice getting softer, “i remember. sorry.” You divert your eyes.
Alphys lets out a breath, “Oh thank god.” She tries to regain her composure, but you can see that she’s still very on edge. “Y-yeah…” She gives a nervous chuckle, “So… um…” She looks lost in the conversation for a moment before giving you a look that expresses a mental facepalm. “Oh. R-right! ...Do you f-feel okay? Like any m-memory loss t-that you recognize, or does anything h-hurt?”
“not that i think of now. i feel… tired?”
“Yeah…” another nervous chuckle that you know has nothing to do with finding something funny, “T-that’s to b-be expected. Sans I-...” She cuts herself off mid sentence. “What happened?” She asks solemnly.
“it was an accident.” You answer quietly, looking as far away from Alphys as you can. “i swear.”
“An a-accident?!” Alphys looks at you with disbelief. “Sans, come o-on. Please d-don’t lie.”
“i- i didn’t read the label and… and…” And? And what? You did on some level do this on purpose, didn’t you? You had to have subconsciously wanted this, right?
“Sans, please, w-we both know t-that’s a bad excuse. You’re lucky I w-was the only one h-home.”
You want to question her about that last fact, but find yourself to drained to reply. Alphys, however, doesn’t have that problem.
“Sans! I c-care about you! W-we all do! So i’m sorry, b-but don’t g-give me that, ‘I didn’t read the label’ excuse! You d-don’t just overdose on sleeping pills on accident!”
And wow. Hearing that said out loud. That just makes you feel like the crappiest person. But Alphys isn’t done yet, had you been more awake you would’ve known to blame it on stress or the like, but now you just feel yourself slipping closer to sleep by the second. And you just stare at her.
“I’m sorry I c-care, okay? I’m sorry! B-but you can’t keep doing this to us! To me! D-do you even c-care how I feel? D-do I not matter to you that m-much?” Her voice breaks. “W-why would you do this a-again! Y-you know how m-much it hurt the first time, d-don’t you?! W-why would y-you do this!”
Alphys looks flustered and red in the face, breathing deeply to catch up on missed breathes from yelling. You open your mouth to say something, but no words come out.
“W-what, another excuse?!” She spits with a venom you didn’t know she had. And it hurts. You know she probably doesn’t mean it, but that doesn’t lessen the blow.
Either Alphys doesn’t see the hurt in your face or chooses not to care, to caught up in her misdirected anger. “T-that’s what I thought.” She begins pacing around the room, each time she takes a step you hear the floor creak under her from how hard she’s stomping.
“alphys... i...i’m-” You feel yourself falling asleep.
“Sorry?” She finishes your sentence. “W-well… It’s t-too late for that! You c-could’ve died! You w-were so, so close to d-dying! How selfish could you be!”
And you know the anger really isn’t at you, it’s at the ‘situation’ as Papyrus would put it. But you’re confused and tired, and really don’t know how to handle this situation right now so you take a deep breath and shout the only thing you can think of. “it was an accident!”
And that one sentence literally takes the breath out of you so much that the last thing you see in your fading vision before it goes completely black is Alphys’ shocked face.
She stands frozen in the corner of the room, staring at your sleeping body, words dead on her lips. Eventually she makes her way slowly over to you, brushing her hand lightly across your face before reaching over to pull the blankets over you.
She stares at you for another long moment before whispering “I’m sorry” to deaf ears. A single tear makes its way down her face as she whispers once more, “I just don’t want to lose you.”