Pause
“So Sans… Why'd you do it?”
“do what?” You say confused, turning to look at Undyne.
The tv screen displaying Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 3 in Alphys and Undyne's room is on pause, with Undyne and you waiting for Alphys to come back from downstairs with popcorn.
“You know… Try to kill yourself?” Undyne says, right out.
You've always kind of admired that about her, her ability to be completely blunt about what's she's speaking about. What you don't admire is the topic she's brought up.
“what…?”
“I mean, okay I get it. I do. Not with myself personally, but i've seen Alphys at some low points before.” She pauses, “And it seems like you kinda just blame a bunch of stuff on yourself. Which, ya know, you shouldn’t.”
“bluntly put.” Is your only reply.
“Hey! I never said I was good with words. It’s just… I wish I could express how much I would punch this ‘Gaster’ guy. And maybe also the flower. Even though it’s not really his fault for not having a soul. But that doesn’t make him any less evil!”
You remain quiet, not really lacking words, but more so absorbing what Undyne just said. Everyone says he’s, Gaster, a bad person. And sure, that's that, but when Papyrus says something like that, it truly means something.
And how many times can you express that you don’t get it.
“i just don’t get it.” You say aloud, more to yourself than Undyne, but of course she hears you anyways.
“Get what?”
“why you all… say he, Gaster,” You correct yourself, “is a bad person.” You pause for a moment, thinking about your next words. “i mean, the stuff he did with the Determination, that was a little too far. but everything else i kinda deserved, ya know?” You ask, mostly aimed towards yourself again, but Undyne takes it upon herself to answer.
“As I said before, I may not be the most… subtle… with wording.” She sighs, “But I’ll try. Basically, you just have to see that this guy who claimed to be your father, was totally in the wrong. Dude, I didn’t even have parents the majority of the time I was growing up, and even I know that’s completely messed up. I’m honestly surprised it took you that long to finally break and kill him.” You shudder at the phrasing of her words, “I just want you to se-”
“i didn’t kill him.” You interrupt, “i did something worse than killing him. he’s still alive, barely, stuck in the void, with no hope of escape…” Your hands start shaking, “and i did that to him. i did. nobody deserves that. no one.” But maybe yourself, “i deserve to be in his place, ya know? and it’s not like he wasn't justified in his actions.” You try to calm your shaking hands, but to no avail. “and he-”
“Popcorn is r-ready!” Alphys enthusiastically says, unaware of the situation she just walked in on.
However, once she realizes the atmosphere of the room, she starts, “Are y-you okay?”
“yeah.” You respond, deciding to shove your hands in your hoodie pockets to stop the tremors.
Undyne stares blankly at you for a moment before retorting, “No he isn’t.” She says, and you stare at her in surprise. “What’s that look for? You were literally just talking how you thought your father was ‘justified in his actions’. You think those are the words of someone who’s okay?” You only stare at her some more.
To some, her tone may come off as cold and uncaring, just like her general bluntness that some may find unappealing. But, knowing Undyne rather well since she’s such a good friend of Papyrus’, you can tell when she’s being sincere and kind. And she’s just trying to help, you know. Obviously not in the best way, because god knows you’re ‘okay’, but she’s trying. And you can genuinely appreciate that effort.
Not that the effort should be spent on you anyways, but it’s there nonetheless.
“Sans?” Alphys asks innocently, “Are y-you okay?”
You pause briefly before responding. “no.” You reply plainly, “but it's been a long time since i've been okay.” Neither of them respond, so you take this as a cue to continue. “all my life i was told i was wrong. all my life i thought i just wasn't trying hard enough, wasn't caring enough to make a difference. and when i finally break and admit this, you tell me the opposite of what i thought. i'm not wrong, Gaster’s wrong. you tell me that i tried so hard, harder than anyone else would have, even though i couldn't fix the unfixable. and it's just… so… so confusing.” You finish, sighing lightly.
Alphys nor Undyne say anything for a moment, shortly shocked by your little rant. It's only when you ask, “should we, um, watch the movie now?” that they agree, and start up Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 3.
And you watch the movie in silence. Well, you're silent, Alphys and Undyne are not. And it's nice, you guess. It seems almost normal. Almost like you're normal, and you didn't just have that conversation you did. Almost.
“I can't b-believe i'm saying this, but t-this one was even worse than the s-second one! And that's like, t-the lowest of the l-low. Like the w-worst type of garbage imaginable!” A.K.A yourself, “T-this is why they s-should never make sequels. Ever!” Alphys blushes a little as she calms down from her spiel.
“NGAHHH! I agree! Absolute trash! Negative a million out of five stars!” Undyne almost screams, very passionately.
“B-but, I had fun hanging out with b-both of you.” Alphys mutters, her blush only increasing. “We should d-do this more often.”
“HELL yeah!” Undyne agrees, and you do to.
“yeah it was fun. i'd like to do it again sometime.”