A Fiery Temper
Michael paces back and forth across the floor, his angry footsteps singing the carpet and warping the kitchen tiles. How could she do something like this? Enter a relationship with their brother’s vessel. That abomination… Pagan gods are bad enough. They’re barely evne real, but… to be with the human who trapped him in the cage. Pulled him and Adam into that and less paina nd torment. How did they even know how to reopen the cage again? Why on earth are there so many ways to do it?
“Michael?” The little traitor appears. How unexpected. “Can I talk to you?” He stops and looks at her. She’s nervous. She should be. “So.. um, I’ve been told you came to see me earlier and um… maybe saw something that upset you.” He still just looks at his younger sibling. Of course, she and Raphael get told everything right away. They only lie to Michael it seems. “Is… Is Raphael around?” She looks around. He just crosses his arms.
“You know, it’s not like I wasn’t going to tell you about Sam eventually. I just… didn’t know how. I didn’t want you to you know, get upset, go crazy and kill everyone.” She gives a nervous laugh, clearly not actually joking. Is that what they think of him? That he would just slaughter people for no reason? Not that he couldn’t find a damn reason to kill the winchesters. But he doesn’t say anything. If he says anything he’ll say everything and he’s barely retraining his temper as it is.
“He’s a good man, Michael. I know that you two don’t exactly have a…” She starst but he can’t let her finish this.
“A good man? A demon blood addict, a violent murderer, a vessel made specifically for the brother who killed you, a felon… You call him a good man? Have you lost your mind? And even if he was, he’s human! You are an archangel. This sort of thing is forbidden and has always been forbidden, for very good reasons.”
“Those reasons don’t apply in this situation.”
“Really? The rules don’t apply to you? This is your justification for violating the laws of heaven? They don’t apply to you?”
“In this particular situation they don’t, regardless of what angel it would involve. It’s forbidden because of the rights of the vessels. I’m alone in here. It’s my body, not hers. I’m not depriving anyone of their life or body. I’m not taking anyone from their home or family, her family is either dead or in prison. I’m not going to create any nephilim. I’m very good at not creating nephilim. And I was human for a while, in case you forgot. I had thought I never would be anything else again. And when we started our relationship I assumed thats how it woudl be. But I’m not going to just throw away the most wonderful thing in my entire existence just because of a few antiquated rules that don’t take into consideration extenuating circumstances. So yes, I am in love with Sam Winchester and we are going to stay in love and express that love in whatever way we damn choose just like we have been.”
“How could you… defile yourself with that abomination?”
“Don’t talk about him that way! He’s done his best with everything stacked against him. Yes, he’s made mistakes but he’s trying, at least. He never stops trying to do better, to be better. He’s willing to sacrifice everything to do what’s right. How dare you call that an abomination?”
“You just excuse everything he’s done. What he did to me. How could you do this to us?”He accuses expecting at least a little remorse or shame at his centure, but as further proof that he doesn’t understand his little sister at all, she just sets her jaw and looks cooly at him.
“Michael. You know damn well getting locked in the cage was your own fucking fault. If you hadn’t tried to keep Luci from getting put back in, he wouldn’t have had to or even been able to take you with him and you know it. They gave you a way out, Michael. You didn’t have to do it. But no, you just hated him so much that you couldn’t bear to be deprived of your excuse to slaughter him, could you? And to hell with any beings that might suffer in the process.” She accuses him. She can’t possibly believe that. But she does, she truly thinks thats how he felt.
“You don’t understand anything. You never did. You just come and go as you please doing what you like with no thought for anyone but yourself. And who is left to clean up your messes? I am! I have had enough, you thoughtless, selfish, irresponsible, sinful little wretch. You will not see him again. I don’t care what I have to do, this is not going to happen. You will not defile yourself of your honored position among all of heaven this way any longer. I will not allow it. Now end this sacrilige immediately, you irrational child.” Michael orders pointing back towards the general direction of the bunker.
“I don’t recall asking your damn permission!” She has the utter audacity not only to defy him but raise her voice in the process. “You think you know everything, but you don’t. You think you’re so wise, so right and righteous all the damn time and you aren’t. You just think so because everyones too afraid to tell you differently. You’re a stubborn, close minded, arrogant asshole and I don’t give a shit what you think or want for my life. You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore, Michael. I’m in charge of heaven now, and you don’t have to fucking like anything I’m doing.” Gabriel takes a breath and continues when she clearly knows damn well she should stop talking, “You know what the worst thing about Lucifer’s fall was? That there was no one left to keep you and your ego in check, you stupid, violent, unreasoning tyrant.”
They’re both surprised when Michael slaps her across the face, searing her flesh with his flames. Gabriel barely manages to cut the oxygen from the room when it’s contents start to combust. Michael just works on reining himself in. He’s weak, which is why it wasn’t just instant firey immolation but it’s also the cause of the embarassing loss of control over his grace, one he hasn’t had since before his siblings were created. He just stares at the burn on his sister’s face, even in this reduced state she’s damaged so badly she can’t heal it herself. Images of his baby sister seared and burned by hellfire flash before his eyes and he can’t say anything.
“Well,” Her voice trembles slightly. “That’s the only way you can control me now. And if you ever hurt my Sam I will kill you or die trying.” And she’s gone.
Michael just looks at his hand. Never, ever before had he raised his hand against his younger siblings. Not like that. Training, sparring, yes, teaching them. Having to kill those fallen and falling angels for the safety of heaven and earth, yes, but this… only Helel had ever driven him to this kind of violence before. He told himself it was Helel, all his brother, pushing and provoking him, never letting up, never just falling in line, taking him to the brink of rage and giving that final shove, often physical that just pushed Michael to retaliate and assert control in the only way he could best him. He told himself it was all Helel, but it isn’t. It’s Michael. He doesn’t belong in heaven any more than his brother did. He doesn’t belong here either. He doesn’t belong anywhere.
“I’m sorry.” Babe says quietly appearing behind Sam and Dean as they put up one of the wall frames. She just snaps the building into being as per the bluprints. It’s especially easy as all the materials are already there.
“Thanks.” Sam turns to see her. “What’s wrong? Are you alright? What happened?” He puts a hand to her cheek just under the hand shaped burn.
“Nothing, it’s fine. You two need to go back into the bunker for a while, okay?’ she puts her hand over his.
“What did you do now?” Dean demands.
“Your brother.” She retorts. “Look just… stay there until I tell you it’s okay to come out. Michael found out about my relationship with Sam and is not taking it well.”
“What how? Did Raphael tell him?” Dean insists on taking part in the conversation despite the warning look from his brother.
“Hah, no, she came looking for me and saw us on the grass before I took us away, apparently.” She gives a light smile. “Not that Raph’s not a little tattle tale who folded like paper when just asked a damn question, but that sudden heat you felt? Miqa getting pissed off. I’m surprised I didn’t see her, but you are very distracting.” Babe smacks him a kiss. “So, anyways, I’m going to go get Raphael and send Cas down with you while I try to fix this. In case I can’t… I love you.” She gives Sam a kiss. “And Dean? Raphael’s a much better big brother than you are.” She flips him off and vanishes sending them back into the bunker.
Raphael’s in the abyss labeling eggs, not only putting the names but their jobs and distinguishing personal details.
“That’s really going to take forever, Raph.” She can’t help but comment. Raphael doesn’t say anything. He just keeps labeling. “So, it didn’t go well.” She sits on the edge of the nest nearest him. Raphael sits beside herand puts his hand to her cheek, healing the burn. “Thanks. I could use your help with this. If you could talk to her, let her know Sam’s not so bad. She trusts you…”
“No, she doesn’t.” Raphael says quietly. “Not anymore.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not because of you. I lied to her. I… decieved her and after she forgave me for it I did it all over again. I can’t help you.” Raphael folds his wings around himself, a picture of abject misery.
“I don’t want to die again, Raph. I don’t want more fighting. I don’t…” She can’t say anymore.
“She’s not going to kill you, Gabriel.” Raphael sighs, lifting a wing and arm to hold her closer.
“I can’t let her hurt Sam.”
“She’s not going to hurt Sam.” He asserts, with exasperation. “If she was going to she would have right then. But she won’t. She doesn’t like killing. It’s not something she does for fun. And yes she’s angry, but she just feels betrayed right now.” Babe has her doubts, but who is she to contradict the one who knows Michael better than anyone.
“Why does she feel betrayed?”
“Because we betrayed her?”
“Me falling in love with someone she doesn’t like and being reluctant to tell her is not a damn betrayal. And maybe you lost your damn mind and did something really desperate and stupid but you didn’t betray her either, Raph. If she thinks that she’s crazy. Neither of us could ever actually betray her, you because you’d do anything for her, and me because you have to trust somebody for them to betray you and you know she never trusted me.”
“Well maybe if you weren’t constantly pushing the limits of everything at all times, she would. I know our brother was usually the one who put you up to it, but you do it all the time. And anyways she knows you, she knows what she can depend on you for and what she can’t. She trusted me to do what needed to be done, how it should have been done, how it was meant to be done. She trusted me to do the right thing the right way and I took advantage of that trust and did the wrong thing the wrong way for the wrong reasons to what I thought was the right end, and wasn’t. So yes, I betrayed her. I betrayed everyone with my arrogant blindness. I deceived her every bit as badly as our brother decieved us all.”
“Oh, yeah.” Babe rolls her eyes, not having it with his little self incriminating pity party. “With your expert tactics of doing things and desperately hoping she doesn’t ask you any questions about it. You evil genius you,” She pinches his cheeks. “If she didn’t know, it’s because she didn’t want to know because she always spoils you rotten and even the right look from her can make you sing like the little stool pigeon you are.”
“Be quiet. You never understood our sister, Gabriel.”
“That’s for damn sure.” She gives a short laugh. “She doesn’t understand me either.”
“Who does?” Raphael retorts. “You defy comprehension.”
“Sam does.” Babe gives a smile. “He always has.
“And he still wants to marry you?”
“I know, weird, right?” she wrinkles her nose. “I’m really starting to question his sanity. Please come back with me when I try to talk to her again. I just fuck everything up on my own. I don’t want to make things worse and you know how often I do.”
“It’s nice to know some things haven’t changed.” Raphael says dryly and gets to his feet. He almost comments how she must be especially missing her defender right now, but that would be unconscionably cruel. It’s strange how he finds himself in this position now. “Very well, I will go with you, but it won’t do any good.”
It takes a few minutes and several attempts at ramming it with her shoulder, but Alex finally manages to get the door to her apartment open. When she does she can’t get it to close again. The knob and lock had slightly melted and seared the wood around it, breaking off the frame at her push. Not that it would fit in that frame anymore. She gives a sigh and turns on the light, or tries. the bulbs are all burnt out, but it’s still daytime,so she can see the wreck of her apartment just fine without them. There are footprints burnt clean through the carpet showing where he was poking. Everything is browned. Warped, singed. And her brand new laptop in her bag is not working at all.
“Of course.” she rests her head on her arms, leaning onto the island, the blank screen in front of her.
“What the hell happened here?” Jodie pushes the door open.
“My life. My term paper… everything..” Alex groans.
“C’mon. Pack a bag, I’ll take you home.” Jodie pats her back. “Did you back everything up?” Alex holds up a half melted sd chip. “Ohh. can you get an extension?”
“Long enough to write four full length term papers and do weeks of research? No. Maybe I can have them do me pass fail or something. I don’t know. But there’s no hope of getting more gpa based scholarships now.” Alex can feel tears starting to well up in her eyes. “What was I thinking? I’m not doing anyone any good. I’m just screwing up my life even more in every conceivable way. My grades, my credit, my rental history, my personal life. And for what?”
“No, Alex, honey, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. C’mon, let’s go.” Sherrif Mills goes into her bedroom, the air mattress is a melted wreck and all her clothes are singed and smell burnt. “You know you still have that load of laundry at home. I was coming to take you to lunch, do you feel like eating?”
“No. I need to get to the library. Maybe I can throw at least one together by Monday.” Alex gets up and grabs her backpack, the dry singed material tears under the motion. “Oh, well... never mind that then.” she quickly walks out of the apartment, managing to slam the door in place enough to hold, behind Jody.
“Eat first. We’ll get something from the drive through on the way.”
“Okay.” Alex takes her phone from her pocket as it rings. “Hey, Claire, how’s niflheim?”
“Dead, violent, infested with norsemen, a surprising amount of redheads, the usual. Can I talk to you?”
“Um, not right now. I have to rewrite my term papers.”
“What? Why?” She exclaims. So Alex gives her the long and short of it. “Oh my god. Did you warn Sam?”
“I couldn’t reach him but I let Bree know. So, talk to you later?” Alex asks.
“Yeah. I have something I can look into now. I’ll… catch you later, okay? I’ll see what I can do about your papers.”
“What could you possibly… hello?” the cell cuts out. ‘I’m not cheating or handing in papers I didn’t write.’ she texts back.
‘How about a research assistant?’ Claire ‘ Sorry, service sucks. Ygdrassil is a lousy cell tower.’
‘??? a what ???’
‘Don’t worry. I got you sis.’
‘U owe me.’ Alex looks at her phone as a message from Claire beeps. ‘Big time.’
“Okay?”She sets it aside and turns back to her notes.
“Alex?” She hears Claire’s voice in a weirdly meek tone and feels a tap on her shoulder. “Hi,” She looks back and sees Claire standing there, though something is really off about her whole demeanor. “Claire explained the situation.” she sits down, and takes out a paper. “Tell me about your papers.”
“I… you’re going to help me research?”
“Of course. I am a librarian.”
“Oh, Hara you wonderful thing you. Both of you.” Alex gets up and throws her arms around the angel’s neck. “Thank you Harahel. Thank you Claire. Oh thank you so much….”
“It’s not a problem. It is what I do.” Hara blushes. “I’m just glad I can do something for you after all you’ve done for my siblings.”
“Glad to be appreciated.” Alex gives a wry grin and lets go.
“Likewise.” Harahel confesses. “And of course we appreciate you. We’d never trust anybody else with our big sister. I’m really sorry it’s not going well. Zuri and Miti have gone to the bunker with Rye to help Sam if he needs it. Is Michael violently affected by her ordeal in the cage?”
“I don’t really know. I don’t think so. He’s upset but it kind of seems like for the most part his anger is focused inward. He has a seriously overdeveloped sense of responsibility for everything. Maybe if it can be directed outward, but I really don’t know him well enough to say. The damage to my apartment was accidental I know. He was getting really hot.”
“She must have been really upset. What color was she?” Hara sits down beside Alex at the desk.
“What?”
“Oh, right you can’t see it.” Hara looks down. “It’ll be okay. She’s really weak now. She’d have to go to heaven and rest before she can do anything really.”
“Do you think Michael would hurt Sam?” Alex asks carefully.
“I don’t know. Maybe, but she...she didn’t really.. she’s scary but she never really hurt us or anything. They had to be…. when there had to be an execution, she was the one who did it. Or when she was protecting us from Lucifer’s angels and demons. But that’s the only time… It\s just… she could, you know. She could so easily crush just every one of us, if she wanted. And she just… she didn’t talk to anybody after the war. She just stayed in the throne room, alone. She wouldn’t let anybody but Raphael in. And only he could make her come out to do anything, really. Sometimes, I wondered if she was still even there.”
“So, Michael’s been depressed for a long time.” Alex rests her head on her hand.
“If that’s depressed, I suppose so. But, your papers?”
“Right…”
“Alex,” Hara shakes her shoulder. Alex lifts her head from her notebooks and wipes her mouth. Of course she drooled on her rough draft. “Raphael’s here to talk to you.”
“Tell him to go fuck himself.” She mumbles and turns her head away.
“I… I can’t..” Hara stammers, horrified at the suggestion.
“I can.” Claire takes over. “Fuck off, asshole, you people have done enough damage for one day.” there’s a snap of the fingers and Claire is gone.
“What did you do with Claire?” Alex quickly stand up knocking her chair over. The library is empty and mostly dark. How did they not get kicked out at closing?
“I sent her back to Helheim.”
“What do you want?” She snaps, considering just telling him to fuck off herself.
“We can’t find Michael.”
“Well, as you can see by the fact the library is not burned to ashes,he hasn’t been here. I haven’t seen him since he left the apartment and I doubt I’m going to. I’m sure you’re very happy about that. If I see him, I’ll let you know.” She crosses her arms. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have half a semester’s work to redo for four classes by monday, so I don’t exactly have time to socialize.” Raphael takes a breath and looks briefly away as if trying to prepare himself to do something unpleasant.
“Will you help us find him?” he asks quietly.
“What?”
“Gabriel is searching further out in the stars but Michael hasn’t been any where we’d expect her to be.” He pauses uncomfortably.
“Okay? And what does that have to do with me? You’re the one who’s closest to him, who knows him the best. You’re the one person he knows and trusts more than anyone.”
“Not anymore.” Raphael’s voice almost breaks when he says it, striking a chord of empathy inside her that she really didn’t want to feel for this asshole.
“What? Why?” She tries not to sound to sympathetic.
“I deceived her twice. And the time she spent in the cage changed her. Since she’s been out, you’re the one she’s spoken to. The one she’s trusted and turned to repeatedly, even if she doesn’t know why. Right now, you probably know her better than I do.” He looks like he’s rather be chewing glass than say any of this, though he clearly believes it. What the hell did Michael say to him?
“I don’t believe that.” Alex shakes her head, her statement creating a flash in Raphael’s eyes.
“You think I’d say something like this if it wasn’t true?”
“No, I think you’re upset and think it’s true. But Michael is… extremely, severely depressed and from what it sounds like has been for a long time. However he was before the cage, he still is now, just even more so, only now he’s deprived of all purpose and direction. I had a few conversation with him, that doesn’t come close to the bond you two have. Why did he just stay in the throne room?” Alex tries to think.
“She never told me.”
“Why did you think Michael was staying in the throne room?” Alex rephrases the question.
“Because Helel was in the cage.” Raphael replies simply.
“Okay. He was feeling sad, guilty, punishing himself or just forcing himself to keep doing his duty? What?”
“Probably all of those and more. But she’s refusing to return to heaven,though we did check the throne room. And what exactly would she….” Raphael pauses.
She struck Gabriel. For the very first time. Yes, Michael feels she’s been betrayed but she’s always harder on herself than she is on anyone else. If that’s how their encounter ended that’s likely what stayed with her. Their father had to calm her down and comfort her after that game of dodge ball where she accidentally slammed Raphael into the earth so hard it broke into pieces. Even when He reassured her that he had always intended to have that piece broken off, it was the words about behaving responsibly that stuck. She’s so incredibly powerful, everything around her is as delicate as a soap bubble. Loosing control the way she did, striking Gabriel must have affected her even worse.
“I think I know where she is. Thank you Ms.Jones.” Raphael finally speaks again. “And I apologize for my earlier rudeness. You have done nothing but try to help us and did not deserve such inconsiderate treatment.”
“Apology accepted.” Alex nods,not really trusting herself to say much else. “If you need me, you know how to find me.”
“Of course.” And the angel’s gone.
“Is everything alright?” Hara returns.
“Yes, he just wanted to ask for my help.” Hara looks as astonished at this as Alex feels.
“I hope you made that prick beg for it.” Claire pushes forwards.
“Claire…” Alex sighs. “Can you just let Hara back so I can get these papers done? I really need to get these done by tomorrow.”
“It is tomorrow, Alex.” Claire points to the morning light starting to come in the windows.
“Oh, fuck! Hara how fast can you type? Why did you let me fall asleep?”
“I can go back in time about a day once before having to return to heaven so that gives us a little time.” Hara says meekly.
“Okay. Okay.” Alex takes a breath and sits back down. “Thank you. Okay, lets do this.”