Dog's Day
"It's not that funny." Krissy crosses her arms as Rhys laughs so hard he has to hold onto the throne of bones so he doesn't fall off and choke himself on the ribbon. "It hurt. I wouldn't be surprised if I have a beak print permanently etched in my spine."
"That is the most absurd bundle of nonsense, I have ever hears in my life." The were-preist says cooly. Rhys nods emphatically.
"I told you it would sound fake." Krissy holds out her cuffed hands.
"There is something different about that child within you, Something extra. Until you decide to tell me what it is, your freind will suffer. Cletus, teach them what we do to those who are uncooperative."
"Your name is Cletus?" Krissy laughs at the were who moves towards Saul who scrambles around to the back of the throne, wedging himself between it and the wall.
"It's greek. It means calling forth, summoned. It was given to me because I fight like a demon." The were, obviously a bit more sensitive to his name than a person his age should still be retorts.
"With lies trickery and the slick charm of a used car salesmen?" Krissy gives him a skeptical look. "Not many people would brag about that." She tries to supress a smile an half sings. "But then again some folk'll." Saul gives her a deadly glare at this, though Rhys can barely contain his amusement. When Krissy whistles the second half, he starts laughing all over again. Saul reaches up to try and until the ribbon and Cletus lunges for him.
"It's a demi-god!" Saul yells just as Rhys reaches out and grabs the were by the back of the neck, digging in his fingers around the his spine. The were priest looks back and forth from Krissy who gives a sheepish smile to Rhys who looks at him steadily in the eyes.
"Let her come to me." Rhys voice is low and almost frightening. "Or I rip his spine from his body." The preist smiles and motions for Krissy to go to him. The other were's around the walls draw to attention, the few that had started forwards, step back. "Come on, Krissy. Come here." Krissy slowly walks over to him, sitting down at his feet. Rhys tightens his grip causing a loud snap and hurls the were across the room. Krissy can see his broken spine peeking out from the skin where he lays.. Rhys's fingers are bloody,
"Hey, Rhys. You look uncomfortable as all Hell."
"I am." He gives a petulant scowl. "Give me your hands, sweetie." She holds her hands up and he grabs and snaps the chains between the cuffs.
"Thanks. Need some help getting your clothes off?" She offers.
"Please." He gives her the puppy eyes. "They're not even tailored."
"Seriously?" Saul's voice cracks as he stays behind the chair of bones. "What is wrong with you people? There is a time and place for these things!"
"A demi-god." The preist smiles, ignoring the dead were on the floor. Rhys just looks at him and licks the blood off his fingers as Krissy unbuttons his shirt. "I will send in some food and a blanket for the mother. If she attempts to escape break the human male's leg."
"You okay, Saul?" Krissy checks in with him.
"I did not sign on to be your whipping boy!" He sounds a bit hysterical.
"It's okay, Saul." She sooths him.
"It's not okay! None of this is okay! We're going to die in here! I'm going to die! I'm going to be eaten! I don't want to be eaten! I want to die in the presidential suite of the bellagio under several young professional women a quarter my age, drunk off my ass and hopelessly in dept to a loan shark named vincent who'll probably be killed if I die without paying him, because fuck Vinnie!"
"My kind of guy." Rhys grins.
"A pedophile? A quarter of your age is what, six?" Krissy teases him, but Saul is not in the mood.
"OBVIOUSLY I WANT TO BE OBSCENELY OLD AT THE TIME!"
"Ah, I can breathe again." Rhys gives a sigh of relief as she gets his shirt off.
"You're all sweaty. Are you okay?"
"I run hot. Heck of a metabolism." Rhys shrugs. Krissy just wipes his torso off with the cheap cotton shirt.
"And here I thought you were just a shameless exhibitionist."
"That too."
"THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR FLIRTING!"
"No, it's the time for prayer." Krissy reaches up to try and undo the ribbon. She hasn't seen any angel warding around so hopefully they can find them fairly easily. She's not sure what effect the sight of an angel will have on were's but it can't be beneficial. "Right. Okay... crap!" She fumbles with it. the guards don't seem to concerned with her attempts.
"It won't untie. Only one of the aesir can untie it. And dad doesn't count." Rhys sighs.
"So why did, they tie you up and not say... worship you as their god? Which they consider you."
"They think the aesir enchanted me into a child like state so as to forstall my boundless hunger and violent rage which when unleashed will lead to Ragnarok." He grumbles. "Though if it wasn't part of the prophecy I'd gladly eat my grandfather for coming up with ragnarok in the first damn place. I just can't get away from it, can I?" He sounds so mournful and mutters something in old norse. Krissy just pats his chest in sympathy.
"I'll take off the pants but your sweaty balls are staying covered." She takes off the cheap belt. "This floor is so uncomfortable. Mind if I sit in your lap, big daddy?" She smacks him a kiss as she helps him shimmy out of the jeans. " Huh, boxer breifs. I don't know why, but I kind of pictured you as a tidy whitey kind of guy. You know when you wore any thing at all."
"Less fabric. And I lost my thong." He winks at her with a grin. "So, aiskling, you're pregnant are you? You should have told me." Hopefully he's just playing along with the inadvertant deception and isn't just being a flirt.
"I just found out." She shrugs. "Hey, do you remember that wild party?" Krissy straddles his lap, putting her arms around his neck.
"Which one?"
"The one on the banks of the acheron. I was hosting. You were monopolizing the orgy tent. I'm uh, wearing the panty set."
"Oh?" Rhys perks up with interest as she presses her right inner thigh against his hip, making the handle of the knife dig into him. "With the garter Claire told my sister about? She thought the whole thing was hilarious." he explains
"She would. But yeah, that thing goes with anything." she accents the anything and goes to kiss him but stops. "Woof, dog breath. Uggh, this is why I'm a cat person."
"You shut your mouth." He smacks her butt. "They only gave me deer or humans to eat."
"Please tell me you didn't eat the humans." Krissy begs.
"Ew, no. Omnivores taste disgusting." He wrinkles his nose in disgust. Krissy just gives him a steady look. "No, no, I won't even eat veans. Cross my heart." he gives a teasing smile.
"Man, you really take after your father don't you."Krissy rolls her eyes at his bad joke.
"I know. It's weird, right? Seeing as he's not even actually my father. But you know, nurture vs nature and all that. He was a stay at home dad after all." Rhys shrugs.
"Really?"
"Yeah. What do you think all those myths saying he ate my mother's heart, birthed us and became a woman for twelve years was about? It was an insulting metaphor. Maybe not so insulting since he's insisting he's actually a woman and always has been, but I'm fairly sure that's just another joke of his. It's really hard to tell. But the ones that last as long as this one seems to be, do not generally end well."
"Oh, what about you? Do you plan on being a stay at home dad?" Krissy runs her finger down his chest.
"Shhushh. Don't wake the baby."
"Are you seriously fooling around?" Saul looks back as Krissy's shirt lands on his head behind the throne. "On a throne of human bone? Oh, God. I swear if I get out of this alive I'm going back to church and getting a real job even if I have to become a... a nanny or maid or something. I don't care."
"You're making Hara look like a badass, Saul." Krissy scolds him. "Now, hush, you're throwing off our groove."
"You need to go back to church, too, woman. Now close your eyes and pray with me." He says as there's a slight sharp noise that makes the were's wince. "Wouldn't hurt if you did it too, wolf boy."Saul snaps.
"Why would a pagan..." Rhys pauses, his hands down Krissy's pants an inch away from the small dagger. Krissy quickly closes her eyes and tries to cover Rhys' with her hands.
"Yes, damn it! Praying like hell wasn't invitation enough?" Saul shouts and a blinding light streaks through the room, visible even behind their closed eyelids. Rhys grabs the dagger, drawing it quickly but carefully out of the small sheath and cuts the ribbon from his neck.
"Ah haha!" He lets out a deadly laugh and hands the knife back to Krissy, who slides off his lap, moving under the altar as he turns into an enormous wolf. Saul, possessed by an angel decidedly more badass than Hara, if only for the fact that he has his blade, blasts through half the wolves. Bullets start to fly. Rhys gives a whimper as one hits him, but the others either don't hit or don't hurt.
"Krissy." The angel looks under the altar.
"Hey... you." She gives him the wink and the gun, though even that makes her dizzy.
"It's Zachariah, Rye. You're injured." he looks worried. "Don't move." He crawls underneath with her and starts whispering in enochian while looking her over. After a minute he nods and puts his fingers to her forhead.
"Okay?"
"My apologies. I'm not a pregnancy specialist. It makes me nervous. Fortunately it was just a simple concussion."
"Okay. Thanks."
"But he looks like he'll be a healthy well shapen boy, and you're a very healthy woman with good spreadable hips, so it shouldn't be a difficult birth." he reassures her. Krissy just stares at him a moment.
"How.. how do you know it's a boy?"
"Chromosomes. They're boy blueprints. So it's a pretty good chance it'll be a boy when it's done."
"There's a chance it won't be?"
"It happens."
"Huh." Krissy looks down at the floor. "No birth defects or diseases or anything like that?"
"Not so far, not in the blueprints."
"I see. Well, that's good to know." She rests her head on her arm trying to process the information. Rhys pokes his wolfy head under to lick her cheek and flips the altar over into the bone throne breaking both of them with the force of the impact. "Good boy..." She scratches his chest and then his stomach when he flops over to receive his praise. "Who's my wittle destroyer of worlds? You are, yes, you are."
"The wolf has bullet wounds." Rye points out dryly. "Several of them." Rhys snorts and twists into his naked self, dropping bloody bullets in the floor as he does so.
"Ah, by Odin's fatty corpuscle, I'm starving." he puts a hand to his stomach which growls as if on cue. "Hold on, I think there's some jerky in the next building. Wait here while I kill a path." Rhys gets to his feet and heads to the door. Krissy and Rye get to their feet and hold their blades ready as there are mores sounds of gunshots as well as a familiar snapping and growling in a sort of three part harmony. "Yeah!" Rhys kiks the door open. "Spot! My girl!" He leaps out changing back into a wolf.
"Who the hell is Spot?" Krissy makes a face and slowly makes her way to the door.
"Stay here. I promised Harahel I would protect you." Rye grabs her arm. Krissy just stares pointedly at his hand until he lets go.
"You want to protect me, then you're coming with me, not keeping me here." Krissy motions to the door. There's a crash like thunder and a smashed skull flies through the door. "Uch... brains." She feels slightly nauseous, which is odd as that kind of gore hasn't made her feel queasy in a long time. "Hey, get Saul out of here, would you? I'm good." She looks around the hall at the decapatated were bodies and their mutilated weapons. Were's with machine guns, talk about overkill. Did they leave any of them intact though? Jesus. Well, the dagger will work a few times. She can kill one outside and take his weapon. When she walks outside there's a giant melee of were's fighting Thor, Rhys, Claire, and Cerberus as well.
"Oh, right. Spot." She laughs. "Cerberus means spotted." She breifly explains to Rye.
"Krissy!" Joe runs over pulling her back into the temple and ineffectually bars the broken door. "We have to get out of here."
"No. We have to go help my partner kill some weres." She goes to unbar the door.
"No!" Joe grabs her and pulls her away.
"Excuse me." Rye puts his hand on Joe's shoulder. "Remove your hands from my brother's pregnant human."
"My name is Krissy, remember?" She elbows Joe in the stomach and moves away as he lets go. "Claire is out there so back the fuck off."
"Another angel, huh?" Joe looks nervously at Rye. "Okay, um, anger? We need to get Krissy out of here. Asap."
"Not without her permission." Rye narrows his eyes suspiciously at the man. "Who is this?"
"This is Joe the asshole. Joe this is Rye the angel. Angel, asshole, Asshole, angel. We good now?" She unbars the door and runs out to jump on the back of a were who's raising his clawas to swipe at Thor who's occupied with two others. "T-man!" She pulls the were's head by back his ponytail, using her body weight. "Smash him!" The were reaches back to grab at Krissy's arms as Thor swings his hammer and removes the were's face. Krissy drops off, though it's claws have reached and scratched her cheek.
"Krissy!" Claire tosses her a gun. A few more shots and Cerberus and Rhys tearing the heads off the fleeing weres and the battle is over. The open space is littered with bodies, was too many of them sans head.
"Pleasure fighting with you again, Novak." Thor slaps Claire on the back as she stops to take a breath. Claire just grins and makes her way to Krissy.
"You..." She points at her as she draws closer. "Idiot...." Claire embraces her partner. "I swear to god, Kris!"
"I didn't suddenly become an incompetent invalid once the stork shoved a soul into my womb you know." Krissy grumbles, returning the hug.
"So, can I assume from your reckless and stupid choice of hunting while pregnant that you decided on an abortion? Or am I going to have to call child services the second you give birth?"
"Krissy!" She turns to see Thanatos run over from the other side of Cerberus.
"Nat?" Krissy steps back a bit astonished.
"How'd you think we got Cerberus. The old girls a decent tracker." Claire moves out of the way and looks over the mass of bodies. "Ugh... you know, lets just burn the whole mountain down."
"You can't burn the bodies here! This is above a coal mine. You'll start a never ending underground fire." Joe points out. "The whole cult wouldn't do as much damage in a hundred years!"
"Then what the hell do we do with all these bo..." Claire stops and winces at a wet crunching sound. They turn to look at Cerebus who's greedily munching the dead bodies. "Well, that works. I doubt she'll eat all of them, though."
"They have families, Claire. With children." Joe looks at the bodies.
"Well then they shouldn't have been trying to enslave humanity, now should they?" Claire snaps.
"Wait..." Krissy goes to pick up a severed head. "Isn't... is this Eddie?"
"Who's Eddie?" Rye asks, grabbing Joe as he starts to back away.
"Joe's partner. the one who died in the library in georgia. Hara said he died.... What the hell is going on?" She turns to him.
"Krissy..." Thanatos stops her as she starts forwards, placing a hand on her stomach.
"Not now, Nat."
"When were you going to tell me?"
"I said NOT NOW!"
"I'd suggest you start talking Joseph." Claire walks over to him, bloody sword in hand, and places the tip under his chin. "Because I am in no fucking mood." Joe looks around at the gods and hunters surrounding him and then down at the head held in Krissy's hands
"Eddie got bitten on a hunt a while ago." Joe looks away. "We'd been looking for a cure, but found a community instead."
"Seriously? You joined a cult of were wolves trying to dominate humanity? What are you a fucking masochist?" Claire exclaims.
"What about you two?" He retorts. "Angels? Pagan gods for lovers? How is that any better?"
"They're not trying to destroy and subjugate us, you dick!" Krissy hurls the head away, making Joe wince. "We don't consort with beings who murder innocent people. Do you see the difference?"
"Joe." Claire moves closer, a dangerously friendly tone to her voice. "Did you betray my partner to this cult? You do not want to lie to me."
"No! It's not like that. It's.. they were supposed to take her and eat that Saul person. And... and use th blood of the son of odin to remove the enchantment of infantilization from their feirce warrior god, Fenris."
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Thor absolutely looses it at their assessment of his nephew. Rhys just crosses his arms, looking even more annoyed than he did before.
"I was going to come with Thor after they took you, let him get taken, rescue you after they killed him, and pretend to kill them all after Rhys 'dies' in the attempt and rescue you. You weren't supposed to get hurt. At all." Joe looks over to Krissy. "Then they were going to move to a secret base further north until they were ready for Ragnarok which would be never since apparently Fenris is genuiniely like that."
"WHAT THE FUCK!" Krissy exclaims. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Why would you.... what the fuck were you thinking?"
"I didn't know you were pregnant! Krissy, I swear, but I wouldn't have cared. We were good together..." Joe stops himself as Krissy's expression goes blank at his statement.
"You're kidding, right?" Claire puts her sword down. "You... Oh, I wish you weren't human right now. You'd probably tell on me if I just killed him anyway, wouldn't you." She looks to Rye.
"I'm not sure. I can't say I could live with the deception or not use the information to blackmail with you should I need to." The angel assesses the hunter, tightening his grip. "But then, he attempted to have my brother's vessel murdered. Perhaps it's something I should do myself."
"Thanatos," Claire addresses the god, not taking her eyes off of Joe. "Take Krissy to rest somewhere, would you? Rhys, start digging. Thor, if you could start gathering bodies. You... I don't know what to do with you... I really don't." She addresses the traitorous hunter.
"I have a few ideas." Thanatos says darkly.
"I'm fine Claire." Krissy wearily protests, "I can help..."
"No. You need to talk to your man and make some sort of decision because this is not okay." Claire firmly commands her. Krissy just puts her hands on her hips and stares her partner down.
"Excuse me? Who the hell put you in charge? I'm not one of your little reapers, miss Novak. You don't get to order me around. We're partners. I'm not your fucking sidekick."
"No... you're right. I'm sorry." Claire covers her eyes. "I was afraid you'd die again. And I don't..."
"Oh, like you've never died." Krissy rolls her eyes.
"Not yet, no." Claire confesses.
"Ohhhh, so I have seniority then. Okay, noob. You stay and clean up. I'll go talk shop with Nat." Krissy pats her lover's butt. The greek god of death does not look happy at all.
"Just get out of here, Daphne. Before you get kidnapped again."
"Hey, four more kidnappings and I get a free jamba juice." Krissy protests making both Claire and Rhys grin.
"Krissy." Rye beckons her with his free hand and heals her new wounds when she comes over. "Please try not to get injured further." She just rolls her eyes and pats his arm, punching Joe in the solar plexus before going back to Thanatos. No one seems particularly concerned about this.
"Thanks, Rye.Tell Hara to get his butt back down here asap, will you?"
"Of course."
"Are you ready to talk now?" Thanatos asks cooly. Krissy gives a quiet nod and lets him take her back to Hades. But instead of starting a fight, he just passionately kisses her. Grateful to avoid the discussion at least for a little while, Krissy responds in kind.