It All Fades to Black
Katara wasn’t all that talkative the next day, more receded herself to practicing waterbending forms to pretend she wasn’t hurt.
‘Work hard. That’s how you ignore grief.’
None of her movements held any bit of their usual grace, as her mind was distant, unfocused. She ended up smacking the water down on the icy ground with a frustrated grunt.
She couldn’t get the girl. She couldn’t waterbend. She couldn’t do anything.
Her brother stood there, watching her dismay with sadness.
“Katara?” He called out.
She looked up at him with miserable blue eyes, then rolled them,
“What?”
He walked up to her, laying a warm hand against her parka,
“Are you good?”
She groaned, but didn’t push her brother away. She knew better than to pretend with family,
“No, but I’ll live.”
Sokka gave her a small grin, before wrapping an arm around her shoulders,
“Take it from me, the expert-at-getting-my-heart-broken-by-girls, you will live.”
She snorted as she raised an amused eyebrow,
“And boys.”
The look he gave her was genuinely embarrassed, and he took his arm off of her,
“Wha—“
“Oops, looks like we are needed with the fishing run today,” she cut him off and pointed outside at the men hauling the boats out.
Although slightly annoyed by her comment, he was glad to see her in better spirits.
Andwasmaybeabitmadbecauseshewasabsolutelyright.
......................................
By the time nighttime rolled around, he was ready to pass out, completely out of food, and dangerously low on water. So, if he didn’t make it to the North Pole tonight, he was as good as dead.
Not that the prince’s self preservation skills weren’t good, because they were almost perfect to a tee.
He hated how weak he felt, how ready he was to just.....collapse. But he didn’t have the time to do that, he needed to get there and tell them Zhao’s fucking plans so this whole fucking thing would be worth it so he had to stay awake and not fuck things up and not think about his grumbling stomach or his dry lips or how badly his fucking wrists hurt or—
Shit, why did his wrists hurt?
He looked down at the inflamed skin that was left without bandages, from where the chains Zhao put on him cut into his skin, where bruises from Zhao’s hands laid underneath the dried blood.
He had to save the rest of his water for the inside of his body, so he found a shirt he packed, ripped a sleeve off into two pieces, and began wrapping it around his wrists. Hopefully neither became infected, but his luck was pretty shit at this point. He twinged in pain for a moment, before sucking it up and completing the wrapping. Fuck, he was too tired to even feel it, too thirsty, too.....hungry.
He began daydreaming of all of the delicacies he could think of because his mind was an ass. The mere thought of food hurt to think about, but by Agni, he noticed a familiar glacier that distracted him.
Oh shit, that glacier......it marked the entrance to the shortcut ravine, the one just a few hours away from the Northern Water Tribe.
He was almost there.
The thought of getting out of the boat made the adrenaline flow through his body again, making him light enough to pass out.
Steady, steady.
He had to be ready.
.....................................
The darkness Kaito opened his eyes to was undeniably terrifying; it was like staring into the endless abyss of thought, waiting to stop falling.
Zhao knew he was torturing him by keeping it dark (vaguely he remembers his stupid little trustworthy sixteen year old self telling Zhao he was frightened of the dark, that it made him feel out of control).
Once he finally decided to move his body, he realized he was chained by both his ankles and wrists, with a chain that connected him to the wall.
He could at least move around semi well, but his cell was so small that the sentiment held little value. There wasn’t even a bed in here, from what he could feel around for anyway.
It was moments like these where he had wished he could bend fire. Oh, the times that could have saved him. It was amazing that he had made it this far as a non bender, but then again, as sickening as it was to admit it, Zhao’s “favor” of him helped him out. Except now he didn’t favor him.
He favored the prince.
He shuddered at the thought, but focused on the joy he felt as he thought of the prince escaping, not having to go through the same shit he did.
Just as his thoughts turned positive, the door became unlocked, and it opened ominously.
There was Zhao, with hideous anger burning in his amber eyes, his hair looking the opposite of his usual dignified self.
He held a flame in his hand that lit up his features, and gave the room a slight glow. He didn’t say a word as he threw it at the torch on the wall, the torch he didn’t even know existed.
Even as he stared at the burning stick, he could feel Zhao’s eyes on him.
He kept eye contact with him as he walked in, shutting the heavy door behind him.
Yes, he was locked and chained in a room with Zhao, the man who had raped him just four years ago. And yes, he was terrified out of his mind.
But no, he wasn’t going to show it.
The sick part of his mind wondered what was going to happen to him, what Zhao was going to do to him. If anything, he wished he were dead by now. With Zhao, especially as a prisoner, it was better to be dead.
He took a deep breath in as the admiral stood over him, and glared dryly at him,
“Are you going to say anything, or are you going to stand there like a hog monkey?”
He instantly regretted being so snarky, even if it was satisfying to see the mild irritation on the man’s face.
Because now, he was tasting iron in his mouth, and his cheek ached from Zhao’s fist smashing into it.
He coughed, then licked his lips in an attempt to compose himself.
Zhao seemed to be trying to do the same, wiping a hand over the loose strands of hair that stuck out. It was strange to see him like this, like his whole world was about to fall apart.
Good.
“You’re going to tell me where the prince is,” he finally growled, even through his tightly squeezed jaw his voice was still unsteady.
Kaito responded with a scowl, before resting his eyes on the floor.
Another punch to the face, except this one was to his temple. That one sent him to the ground, but even then he remained defiant.
“Even if I did know, I would rather die before I told you,” he whispered hoarsely. He licked his lips again to attempt to stop the flowing blood, but it continued bleeding. It ran down his chin to the floor.
Drip drip.
Suddenly, Zhao was crouched on the ground next to him where he was attempting to sit back up. His eyes were burning into the side of his head. He felt them even before he stared back into them.
“Tell me,” Zhao asked again, and his tone sent a chill down his spine. It was soft, the kind of soft that was hiding a terrific amount of anger behind it. The kind of anger that boils over into a mess of an explosion.
“No,” he snarled.
He flinched as Zhao moved towards him, expecting the pain of another punch, but Zhao grabbed his face with his one hand instead, pulling it close to his.
Kaito couldn’t help the feeling of panic that was thumping in his chest, even with his poker face. Zhao’s quick, heavy breath against his face was bringing back some very unpleasant memories that he’d really rather not think of.
“You know I could be doing a whole lot worse to you, Kai,” he said with faux affection that made his stomach twist. The nickname, the one only he used for him. He curled his lip in disgust as he licked his lips once more. Zhao’s eyes glanced down at his mouth for a moment.
Kaito took the chance to collect the little saliva he had in his mouth, and spat directly in the admiral’s face.
He jumped back and let go of his face, his composure crumbling despite his best efforts as he wiped the stickiness from his face.
He could see the steam coming off of the older man, but he wasn’t afraid.
If he killed him right here, he wouldn’t care.
He made a pained groan as Zhao’s boot came into contact with his stomach, knocking the air out of him. Then again, as it hit his ribs.
He coughed again, the pain overwhelming. But then felt himself slipping.
He didn’t care anymore.
“If you think......I would ever let you get your rapist hands on another child.....you’re way fucking dumber then I thought.”
Zhao didn’t look too happy at that comment. There was a sinister look that was beginning to form behind his feature though that made Kaito’s toes curl.
The firebender was moving closer to him again, this time he threw himself on top of him, straddling his hips.
Kaito wanted nothing more than to cry in the moment, to trash and scream like a child, but he kept his uncaring persona.
Zhao got off on fear.
“Aren’t I a little too old for you?” He said with an attempted mocking tone to mask his terror, but he ended up wheezing breathlessly.
Zhao (unsurprisingly) didn’t seem to care that the younger man was having a hard time breathing, and grabbed his throat with his hand, squeezing tightly, though not enough to completely cut off his air supply.
He was sure he was going to die here.
He shut his eyes as Zhao brought his lips to his ear, warm air ghosting his skin,
“I want you to know,” he whispered, tightening his grip, “I want you to know that there is one fucking reason I haven’t snapped your neck already....”
Kaito felt his heart drop to his stomach as Zhao pressed his cheek against him, lowering his tone until it was a low growl in his ear,
“I want you to be alive for when I destroy the Northern Water Tribe......when I drag the prince back in chains.....,” he felt him grin against his skin, “And I’ll make sure you watch everything I do to him once I get him back to my bed.”
The thought alone made him want to empty the contents of his stomach right there, the horrifying nature of his words sinking deep into his soul; he already knew where to find Zuko, which meant the only reason he came to his cell tonight was to fuck him up.
He gasped as the admiral finally released his throat, reveling in the relief of air flowing back into his lungs.
It was only then that he felt the reminisce of Zhao’s red hot fingers imprinted on his neck. He bit his lip to prevent himself from crying out at the pain.
“I think I liked you better when you were submissive,” Zhao sneered as he composed himself, “at least you would lose a fight with dignity.”
“You’ll never get to him,” he hoarsely mumbled, disregarding the older man’s words.
He chuckled dryly in reply before unlocking his cell.
“We’ll see about that Kai.”
He shut the door with a whip of his wrist, which blew his only source of light out.
Back to the darkness he went.
..................................
As the darkness once again fell on the sky, Zuko felt himself shaking. The sleep deprivation mixed with the freezing temperatures was not a great combination, and it seemed his body was just about at its final limit.
Just a little further......
That’s when he saw the symbol of the Water Tribe, bold and prominent on the wall that surrounded the civilization.
He was here.
The excitement sent warm blood coursing through his stiff, frozen body, and he nearly toppled the small boat carelessly.
And Uncle and Sokka said he didn’t know how to plan things properly. Well now he proved them wrong!
Well......now he had to figure out how to get into the Northern Water Tribe.
Maybe he didn’t fully think this through.......
Now that warmth turned to boiling, and he cursed under his breath. Nothing could be that easy in his life. NOTHING.
And how could he be so sure the inhabitants of the North Pole wouldn’t kill him on sight? Fuck he really didn’t think about this enough.
For now, he docked his boat near a flat expanse of ice and lifted his bag onto his back. He carefully stepped off, mostly because his legs were a bit wobbly right now; he hadn’t walked in days and his body lacked any of the necessary things it needs to basically survive.
The group of Arctic lions he spotted made his stomach ache, the thought of food moistening his mouth.
He watched his possible meal escape, well not escape, but it disappeared into a hole in the ice.
Wait.....they had to come up for air somewhere.
In the haze of desperation, he ran after them, staring down into the dark hole.
This would most certainly wake him up.
He jumped into the freezing cold water without a second thought, the initial shock nearly paralyzing him.
Swim swim, he had to swim.
He followed the creatures in the dark water the best he could. His body was so slow, so stiff, but even then he managed to track them.
At some point, however, he lost them. The little bastards were too fast for his weakened body, and had found their exit.
But he didn’t find his.
Panic set in. He searched for anything, a way out of simply drowning beneath the surface.
He swam up, but ran into the frozen ice that blocked his freedom.
Shit.....this could be where he died. Not after his Agni Kai......not from years on the sea......not even from Zhao.....
He would die without a soul knowing where he was.
The thought alone brought heat to his hands, which he pressed against the ice, praying it would melt in time.
Slowly, slowly his hands pushed through. Unconsciousness was slowly, slowly consuming him. His lungs were screaming for oxygen, but he had to keep pushing.....
Finally the ice gave in, and he climbed through.
For a moment, he thought he wasn’t actually alive, and the world tilted a bit. It took a few seconds, but once he began pumping oxygen into his lungs once more, he was shoved back into reality. It burned a bit, but he certainly didn’t feel tired anymore.
He turned his head left and right to take in his surroundings. It had to be very late, considering the icy streets were empty and dark.
It was then he realized he was in a completely unfamiliar area.
He observed the unique architecture, beautiful, he couldn’t deny it. But he still didn’t know where to go from here.
Find Sokka and Katara. Right.
He set the mission in his head and began forcing his legs to move forward, despite their resistance. His body was practically throbbing with exhaustion from everything that had occurred over the past few days, and he wanted nothing more than to fall asleep....
.....find Sokka and Katara.
He must have looked like a drunk man wandering the streets at night, barely being able to walk properly.
He still had no idea where the siblings would actually be.
Without his regular stealth, he didn’t evade the guard that was walking down the street he was on, and the second he caught the glint of gold in Zuko’s eyes, he yelled to get the attention of the other warriors.
“It’s a firebender!” He yelled, and several guards joined him. They all looked scared for a moment, like they’d never actually seen one of his kind in real life. Once they drew their weapons, though, Zuko knew they were serious.
“Wait!” He called out, shocking even himself at how hoarse his voice had gotten. Agni, it felt like forever since he last spoke to a person.
Soon he was surrounded, and he drew a defensive stance, even though he knew damn well this was a fight he would lose.
“I’m not here to hurt you! I—I have a message that’ll help you guys I—“ he stuttered out. His voice held none of the authority he usually attempted to possess, but instead sounded weak and pathetic. Fuck, this was frustrating.
A soldier that stood behind him scoffed at his words,
“Yeah right, an ashmaker will say anything to protect his own skin!”
The others yelled in agreement, and a younger warrior glared at him fiercely,
“I say we execute this spy on the spot. It’ll prevent him from burning this place to the ground.”
The hum of approval was discouraging to say the least, and they moved in on him.
He reacted as a hunted animal would, he attacked.
He lit fire in his palm, and it seemed to scare them back for a moment. Huh, they really must have never seen a firebender.
“Stay back! I am not a spy! I mean you no harm,” he yelled desperately.
The commotion was loud enough now that the neighbors in the surrounding homes were beginning to come outside to see what was happening. If he thought the staring was bad with the guards, the civilians were looking at him like he was a foreign creature.
The warriors seemed to get over their initial shock and began to carefully approach once more.
His heart was pounding, that fierce aggression and the voice in his head telling him don’t die was coming back, and if he knew one thing about it, it was that he had always survived.
He got ready to fight when he noticed a boy and girl in the crowd, who were new additions. Both looked tired, but the glimpse of hair loops that he caught made his heart stop.
Katara?
She recognized him at about the same time, and looked like she’d seen a ghost. His knees were finally giving out at the relief in seeing a familiar face, but he couldn’t fall yet, couldn’t collapse until he looked at the boy standing next to her.
Before his body slammed into the ground, before the exhaustion, before the starvation took over his body and made him pass out, he locked eyes with that familiar blue. Not the regular blue, the blue of any Water Tribe member, but Sokka’s blue.
That blue carries him into the darkness, through the dimming yells of the world around him. He feels himself muttering Sokka’s name as he crumbles, but it is barely audible.
Then it all finally fades into black silence.
........................................