Reunion
When Zuko finally opened his eyes, he was convinced he was genuinely dead.
Did he get his message to them? Was the Water Tribe saved? Did Zhao lose? Was Sokka ok? Katara?
He gasped as he shot up, the blanket that appeared to have been carefully placed on top of him falling to the ground. His heart was pounding so hard it hurt, and there was already a pit in his stomach.
His tunnel vision blocked out the fact that there was a person sitting beside him at his bedside, so he fought when they prevented him from leaving his bed.
“Stop! Let go of me!” He struggled, but he was so weak that he fell back onto the bed with ease. He was deniably tense, until his eyes trail from the hands gently gripping him, all the way to the face that holds a pair of sky blue eyes.
“Sokka,” he said out loud, almost in disbelief.
Sokka was here, in front of him.
The other boy’s eyes filled with tears, and he nodded as a response.
They continued to look at each other like that for quite some time, unable to break away. Unable to truly believe that they are both in the same room once again.
He gripped his shoulders, maybe a little too hard, but he needs to know he is real. That this, this is real and he isn’t losing his mind from all his days at sea.
Suddenly, he’s crushing the water tribe warrior around his arms, pressing him against his chest in a hug. Sokka’s arms wrapped around him soon after.
He still smells like home, just as he always did whenever he buried his face into his shoulder, and nothing was more perfect then that.
“You’re really here,” he mumbled, while also soaking his blue tunic with the tears running down his face.
“Yeah I am,” he heard the other boy choke out. It was Sokka that broke the embrace, however, and Zuko pretended he didn't want to pull him right back into it.
He caresses the new hair that dusts Zuko’s forehead, his fingertips sending heat to the prince’s face.
“I like your hair,” he joked, or at least tried to, because it’s hard to be laughing when the other boy has tears staining his cheeks.
Even then, he can’t deny the glow that warms his chest at the compliment, and he looks down at his hands shyly,
“Thanks,” he chuckled, then sniffled as he looked back up.
Sokka is still smiling at him, and he doesn’t look away. They just sit there, smiling at each other.
That is, until Sokka’s face becomes more serious,
“Zuko, what are you doing here?” He asked, sounding half confused and half genuinely amazed.
It took him a moment to take his question in, to lose the joy on his cheeks and remember the real purpose of him being here.
“Zhao,” he began, “I need to get a message to your leaders. You guys are in danger.”
The urgency in his voice increased as he continue talking, and the pit returned to his stomach; Zhao was still very much out there, waiting to destroy innocent lives
(And drag him back to his bed to do horrible things to him).
Sokka doesn’t miss how pale the prince had gotten, or the look of darkness in his eyes.
“Zuko?” He tries to touch the firebender’s arm to get his attention, but he leans away.
That hurts.
“I really need to talk to your chief,” he repeats, the old, straightforward Zuko resurfacing, and he starts to get up again.
“Zuko you need to—“ he starts to say as he tries to stop him from leaving, but Zuko rather roughly shoves his hands away.
Almost fearfully.
“Stop! This is why I came back, ok? I need to talk to him.”
Sokka just stands there, with wide eyes, and Zuko doesn’t realize how much it hurts to hear him say that. When the prince was on a mission, he got tunnel vision. He didn’t realize that Sokka feels like he is an afterthought, that he holds no value to him.
That this was all about a mission.
The overwhelming insecurity blocks out the fact that Zuko reacted like a hurt animal to his touch, that there was probably something that happened to him that was making him so repellent towards him now.
“Right,” he said as he tried his best to pretend he was fine. He held his hands up to show he wasn’t going to hurt him, but even that thought hurt him to his core.
Why would he ever harm Zuko?
The firebender amazes him with how swiftly he manages to stumble towards the door, how persistent he is despite being passed out for as long as he was.
“Can you at least be careful?” He says with audible irritancy, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
“When have I not been?” He snarks as he grabs the doorway. It’s almost funny, and Sokka can’t help the snort he makes at Zuko’s sarcasm.
Five minutes in, and he already forgot how unbearable Zuko could be (he thought that with affection).
Too distracted by one another, they didn’t even notice Katara was outside, approaching fast.
“Zuko?” What are you doing out of bed?!” She yelled in her assertive, yet caring voice.
“Katara—“
She cuts him off by waterbending the ice beneath him, sliding him back so he falls into bed.
“What—“ he starts to say, confused as to how she was even able to—
“Why did you let him leave bed?” She directed at Sokka, who threw his hands up.
“Come on it’s Zuko! You think I could’ve stopped him?”
Even with her hands on her hips, she couldn’t argue with that.
Zuko groaned from where he was laying flat on the bed,
“You guys know I’m right here, right?”
Both siblings ignored the comment and glared back at him.
“Are you gonna tell us why you rolled up half dead after we haven’t seen you in over a month?” She replied deadpan.
Zuko groaned and sat up. Katara looked upset, and Sokka had an indescribable expression on his face.
“I already told Sokka, I need to explain to your leader. You guys are in grave danger.”
She relaxed her furrowed eyebrows a bit at his words, curling them in concern.
“Oh......I can take you to our chief. Right Sokka?”
Sokka, who was still bitter that that was the only thing on Zuko’s mind, nodded.
“Let’s go then,” she said resolutely, pulling Zuko up so they could leave.
“You coming Sokka?” She asked, but didn’t notice her brother’s gloomy attitude.
“Yup,” he replied shortly, then followed after them.
The people on the streets gave them strange looks as they walked alongside the prince, and the guards did as well. It didn’t matter to them that they had explained the previous night that Zuko was their friend, because he was still different, and he was still an enemy in their eyes.
“Chief Arnook,” Katara called out, to a man standing outside their main meeting area. He was speaking to another man to whom he turned away from towards the voice.
His eyes were friendly at first once he recognized the young waterbender, then turned hostile when they fell onto Zuko.
“How may I help you Katara?” He asked suspiciously, his eyes never leaving the firebender.
“Well actually Chief Arnook, I’m not the one here to ask you of something,” she answered before turning to Zuko.
The prince bowed respectfully as he addressed their leader,
“Chief Arnook, I have vital information that could help protect you and your people.”
Arnook was a kind man, but he also was a member of the Water Tribe, and this was a firebender in front of him. He looked at him with deep, intense distrust.
“Listen, I have already been gracious enough to spare you from my men, firebender. But that does not mean I trust you or your word. Give me one reason to,” he asked sternly, a resolute glint in his dark blue eyes.
Zuko’s eyebrow furrowed significantly, his fists clenched together tightly. Sokka could see he was getting frustrating, and almost stepped forward to prevent confrontation; little did the Chief know Zuko was a force to be reckoned with.
“Listen Chief, there is no reason for me to lie in this situation. Your people are in serious danger from an admiral of my nation.”
Arnook’s stiff exterior loosened at his words, but his face was still grave. His was still wary of the source telling him this information,
“And why would you, an ashmaker, care if a Water Tribe civilization was razed to the ground by your people? How do I not know this is your way of trying to gain my trust for your own use?”
Now Sokka stepped in to defend Zuko,
“Chief Arnook—“
He was cut off when Zuko turned to him, gold eyes glinting with determination,
“Sokka, I got this.”
They kept in contact for a moment longer, Zuko telling Sokka to trust me through his eyes, and him understanding. He let him continue speaking to the Chief.
“There is so much I don’t know, but plenty enough that I have seen these last few years of my life,” Zuko began, then paused as he recounted the horrific actions of the Fire Nation, “I have seen my nation burn homes, kill innocent people and leave their bodies to the earth to rot.”
He turned to the water tribe siblings, who looked shocked at Zuko’s bold statements, and then turned back to the Chief who, though to a lesser extent, was also surprised.
“I have seen my nation rip apart families, only to then turn around and lie to its citizens about their own atrocities. Even those in the highest of power encourage this, even participate in such horrible acts.” He shuddered at his own last words, thinking about Zhao and all that he had managed to accomplish despite being such a vile person (he hadn’t quite accepted that it was his own father that had given Zhao that power, but he would get there).
“My point is that I have no desire to bring about more suffering and death, so I will do anything in my power to help you and your people.”
The chief’s face had lightened significantly as Zuko finished his speech, and even the water tribe siblings were stunned at all Zuko had to say.
He thought hard for a moment, before deciding on what to say to the firebender,
“Tell me about this admiral’s plans.”
......................................
The thing about the dark was that no matter how long time actually passed, it felt like it never ended. Like it was going to swallow you up at any moment, but you didn’t quite know when.
This thought festered in Kaito’s mind as he sat in the damp, quiet darkness. His stomach was empty, and he licked his chapped lips in an attempt to hydrate himself.
He had to keep his mind focused, to not let it wander into a darker realm, one he couldn’t save himself from........
He’s ten years old, he’s just listened to the sound of his mother getting slapped across the face, and he squeezes his eyes tight and holds his hands over his ears, and he waits for it to be over.
He runs away from home at fifteen, leaving his mother behind like a coward.
He pinches himself and tried to drag himself back into the present, but there’s nothing, nothing at all to focus on because it’s all fucking black.
The darkness stops when he comes across Zhao at a random marketplace in the colonies at sixteen, and apparently he somehow showed off how strangely talented he was at logging numbers and charts. The older man grins at him, predatory white teeth, and takes him in.
A thump rings throughout the cell as he bangs the back of his head against the solid wall. It hurts, and the pain throbs relentlessly, but it wakes it up. Anything to keep him from spiraling further and further and........
He tried not to think of the weight on top of him, or the fact that it was Zhao, Captain Zhao, breathing against his neck. He shuts his eyes as a tear runs down his cheek, just praying it will be over so he could leave and wash this night off of him (little does he know this won’t be the last).
Blood is drawn from where his teeth met his tender lip, and he scrunches his face so tightly he can feel it twitch for a moment.
He’s been able to do it before, just shut your eyes and survive......he couldn’t die down here.
If he lived, he’d live to see what happened to him happen to Zuko.
“I’ll make sure you watch everything I do to him once I get him back to my bed.”
The thought alone makes him dry heave against the cold stone, and his mind keeps taunting him with images of the horrifying situation.
He can’t stop picturing Zhao on top of the young prince, his dead gold eyes staring at him….
He’d rather die in this horrible place then live to see that.
All he can think to do now is scream into the darkness, rather than let the tears fall from his eyes (crying means dehydration, dehydration brings him closer to death).
Deep down he knows though, no matter how close he gets to death, Zhao won’t let him die, because he wants him to live to see what he does to Zuko.
All he can do is pray that Zuko made it to the North Pole and warned the tribe. Perhaps that would give them a chance of winning, but there was the pit in his stomach of what if, if Zhao held that population under his sadistic fist.
If he got to Zuko...........
He couldn’t think of it......don’t......don’t think about it.
But there was nothing he could do, just stare into the darkness and somehow find hope in it.
...........................
Sokka stood and listened as Zuko explained everything. He explained the invasion plan he was told months ago, the way he kept it under wraps and became a spy under Zhao, until he managed to make his way to the North Pole. He couldn’t miss how Zuko clutched his bandaged wrists as he recounted his story, and he realized he didn’t know what lied beneath.
Did Zhao hurt him?
The real, deep anger that he usually kept buried inside him, the protective kind, came crawling up his chest.
But it wasn’t all directed at Zhao. It was frustrating to feel like he was left out of the loop. Like Zuko wasn’t telling him anything. Like the only thing that mattered to him was this whole strange mission he was on to save the Northern Water Tribe. A plan that he had never told him about. For months and months, Zuko had thought about this, but never said a word about it.
What else was he not telling him?
He hated overthinking, but he was driving himself crazy with all of the thoughts running through his head, until he finally decided on walking out of the room.
Zuko didn’t even notice.
What did he expect? Zuko was a firebending prince, he was just a non-bender from some iceberg down south.
He probably didn’t see him as all that important.
(Everyone leaves everyone leaves everyone leaves it’s all your fault Sokka).
He didn’t even hear his name from how deep in his head he was, but Zuko was standing in front of him.
“Sokka?”
He looked up at the golden eyes, which looked rather worried.
“Sorry I was just lost in thought, what’s up?” He replied with a masterful poker face.
“We were going to go get the soldiers to meet up regarding defense strategies, want to come?” He said with an annoyingly innocent tone, almost nice, despite it being Zuko.
“Oh...,” he paused, not sure how to reject the offer without it seeming like something was wrong, “I actually needed to head back to home really quick, but you go ahead, Prince Zuko,” he hastily replied, unintentionally making the last two words excessively formal.
The firebender did pick up on that, and he raised his eyebrow,
“Why did you—“
Sokka turned and headed off before Zuko even had time to think, but shrugged his shoulders and left anyway to get the soldiers.
He was a practical guy, and he knew with his feelings all askew right now he had no planning or strategic skills left to properly help his fellow tribesmen, so he instead walked home as fast as his legs could carry him.
Luckily, their home was vacant once he made it there, because he had a feeling that Katara would be able to read that something was wrong, and he really, really did not want to have to explain this to her.
There weren’t even proper words to explain how he was feeling.
He grabbed some rope and began looping, over and over again, to distract his mind. It reminded him of being a kid again, when his father would show him how to tie the knots needed for the fishing crew. It always brought him comfort (and he told himself he was making himself useful, despite them preparing for war, he was sure they needed more.......fishing knots?).
The feeling of the rope between his fingers, the process of looping it over and over again, it centered his mind, and it had for years. It kept him from falling and falling deeper, it kept him in reality while not burying, suffocating in his circumstances. It was strategic, methodical, just like him.
It was his coping mechanism.
He was so lost in the act of it that he didn’t realize how far down in the horizon the sun had gone, and the grayish darkness of dusk that had filled the room.
“Sokka?” His sister called from the doorway, before noticing his knot tying.
His eyes shot up at her as he placed the rope down on his bed roll.
“Yeah?” He replied.
Her eyes went in between the rope and her brother, taking in the situation.
“Is something wrong?”
He blinked a few times before nervously chuckling,
“Wh—why would you ask that?”
She stared once more at the tightly wound rope by his hands,
“Because you tie those fishing knots super aggressively when you’re worried about something,” she explained, “trust me Sokka, I’ve lived with you my whole life.”
He rolls his eyes as he moves to stand up,
“Well there is the possibility of us all getting murdered by the Fire Nation again, so sorry for being a bit nervous about that,” he mumbled. It’s not entirely a lie, and it’s far more reasonable a reason to be upset right now. Much better than being upset over a boy not talking to you as much as you wish they would.
She nodded her head, like she knew the real reason as to why something was wrong but decided against saying anything.
“Ok well, I was going to get some grub. You gonna come with me?”
He wasn’t hungry in the slightest, but she definitely wouldn’t leave him alone if he didn’t grab dinner with her, so he nodded in response.
He couldn’t deny that not seeing Zuko at dinner didn’t upset him, mostly because being the little mission driven bastard he was he was probably off helping prepare the Tribe for battle.
He poked at his food as he tuned out the chattering of others around him. His sister always seemed to have the gift of making new friends, but truth be told, he had been gloomy for most of the time here. While Katara was talking enthusiastically with all of her new Water Tribe buddies, he was sitting here.
Alone.
Soon enough, he shoved his food away and jumped out of his seat, not even looking to see the others' reactions.
“Sokka—,” he heard his sister call, before he cut her off,
“I’m just getting some fresh air!”
Quickly, he made his way to the cold dark air, where no one else was. His chest felt tight, his heart was racing, his surroundings going quiet. He tried to calm himself by taking in deep, purposeful breaths, but all he could do was simply slide to the ground and clutch his knees to his chest to comfort himself. The only person that could do that was himself, because that last thing he wished was for anyone to see him in such a state.
“Sokka?” a voice questioned, emerging from the dark.
‘Shit shit shit’ he cursed to himself as he scrambled to hide himself, residing to bury his face into his knees.
As if that would do anything.
The universe was beyond kind to him, and the very person he was panicking about was the one currently saying his name.
Zuko.
“Sokka are you alright?” The tone was him alright, in all its stiff yet greatly unique compassion. The golden eyed boy stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do, considering it was obvious as daylight that something was wrong.
“Go away,” Sokka muttered from his knees, refusing to look him in the eye, as he continued to fight with his own breathing.
He could practically see the fiercely stubborn stance the prince was taking as he protested,
“There is no way–”
“I said go away!” Sokka exclaimed as he shot his face up, tears streaming, his breath still shallow and poorly paced. Zuko was startled, and even he was surprised by his own ferocity.
They stayed like that for a moment, and Sokka actually found that it was helpful, as Zuko’s eyes were always a grounding source for him. Something…..safe and comforting.
Dammit he needed to stop.
“I’m….” he took a deep breath in an attempt to not stumble, “I’m having trouble….breathing…..so please…..please…” and he couldn’t finish his words without cramming his head between his knees once more as he took several quick breaths.
Obviously he didn’t listen, and Zuko got on the ground with him, with a safe distance of course.
“Sokka,” he said in a surprisingly tender tone, with a bit of shakiness at seeing his friend in such a state, “please, you need to breathe properly.”
He gently placed his warm hands on his knees, but didn’t quite grasp him, not wishing to frighten the panicked boy who still was not comprehending his words.
So Zuko kept talking, bless his soul.
“I..I got panicked really bad once, to the point where I couldn’t breath…..after I…after I got my scar. The first time I saw it, without the bandages, everything went quiet and I almost passed out. It’s like I forgot to breathe. And…and my uncle told me to take slow, controlled, breaths. Can you do that, Sokka?”
Hearing his name again brought him a bit back into reality, and allowed him to comprehend what was being asked of him. He took one shaky breath in, then out, at Zuko’s instruction.
“Good, good, now look at me.”
It took him a minute to comprehend the command, but he still managed to pry his eyes off the ground, and move them over to Zuko’s pale face.
He forgot to keep breathing then, his heart still pounding with panic.
“Sokka, please you need to keep breathing.”
A few moments later, he shook himself out of it, continuing deep and controlled breaths until he was able to get his heart rate down.
They sat in silence for a bit longer, the sound of breathing and heart beats being the only thing filling the quiet night air. It wasn’t even terribly boring or awkward, but instead, comforting and validating.
Something he had needed for a while.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Zuko asked quietly.
His silence answered the question, emphasized by him scrunching his face.
The prince was not one to give up easily, but it seemed he understood. At the same time, he wasn’t going to leave him alone. Instead, he gently sat down beside him.
He would sit there beside him for hours if Sokka needed him to.
They sat there until noise from the room inside began fading more and more, until there was nothing but a hum, and the moon had moved gradually across the sky.
“A lot of bad memories have been coming up,” Sokka finally said, breaking the everlasting silence.
“Oh?” Zuko inquired.
He found it hard to look Zuko in the face for what he was about to say, too overcome with shame and embarrassment. What was the point of even saying this?
Even so, he couldn’t stop himself, it’s like a flowing river, you can’t stop it once it’s broken through.
“My father…..him leaving affected me a lot more than I’d like to admit. Like, I miss him so much every single day, but I also feel this resentment towards him.”
Zuko shuffled on his spot on the ground, his eyes softening in empathy,
“I understand the feeling. Go on.”
Sokka took a deep breath, feeling exhausted from the breath taken from his lungs. But also, Zuko was very close to him.
“Well,” he took another pause, “it’s because it kinda gave me the fear that everyone was going to leave. That it’s up to me to protect myself and my kin, that I can’t really…..depend on anyone to help me, to truly be there for me or care for me. I’m on my own…..”
The silence was deafening. He had never told a soul such things. Not even Katara. In fact, he hadn’t revealed so many feelings on such a subject except at this moment.
“But…..you’re not on your own,” Zuko said, a golden warmth in his eyes that made Sokka’s chest tight in a different way than earlier, “you have your people, you have Katara, you have,” he stopped. The prince looked down at his hands, even as Sokka tensed for the completion of his sentence.
“Me,” he finally let out, softly, but with an assurance that made the water tribe boy’s heart ache. But even then, unspoken words needed to be said, words kept in longer than they should’ve.
“But,” he choked a moment, “today, seeing you was—I won’t lie I’ve missed you—it was like I finally got this person back and…..it’s only because you have something else to be doing. It’s ridiculous, I know….”
He shook his head, refusing to look at the bender next to him, “it’s ridiculous because there’s an attack on the horizon and this is what I care about.”
“It’s not ridiculous—“ Zuko began,
“It is!”
“No—“
“Zuko—“
“Sokka!”
It went quiet for a moment, and they looked at one another before Zuko resumed the conversation.
“It’s not ridiculous because….well then I’d be ridiculous too.”
Sokka raised a questioning eyebrow, confused as to what he meant.
“When we arrived in the North, to drop you and Katara off, all I could think about was how much I was going to miss you, and how you didn’t care.”
The boy’s blue eyes softened, “you……cared that much?”
Zuko looked a little panicked at the question, almost as if it was an accusation.
“Yeah well, I guess I did. You were good company.”
Sokka chuckled at that, before turning serious again.
“I cared a lot about it too. I care uhh, about you, Zuko.”
Judging from the look of surprise on his face, it didn’t seem as if Zuko expected to ever hear such words from the boy, from any boy for that matter.
Sokka cared for him, a banished, scarred prince.
“I,” he was at a loss for words.
“Oh no, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Zuko,” Sokka said with sincerity, even as his own heart shattered just a bit.
“NO,” the fire bender said rather loudly, before quieting a bit when he saw his friend’s eyes widen, “no Sokka, I only mean to say that I care greatly for you too, I was just surprised that the feeling is…..mutual.”
Sokka smirked, “What your Highness? Did you really think I despised you?”
Zuko rammed his shoulder into his at that, a small smile creeping on his lips.
“Perhaps a bit.”
They continued to smile at one another for a moment longer, before Zuko broke away the gaze, too frightened by the intimacy of it.
“How are you feeling?” He diverted.
His smile slowly faded, as he had completely forgotten the circumstances of their encounter.
“Much better, thank you Zuko.”
The prince shook his head in response, before standing up and offering Sokka his hand.
“Let’s get some rest then, we have a long few days ahead of us.”
Sokka nodded before grabbing his hand and standing. He couldn’t help but relish in the feeling of the fire bender’s hand, his warm yet callous hands wrapping around his own.
‘Get it together Sokka, come on.’
He pulled his hand away,
“Yeah, let’s get some sleep.”
……………………………………………
“Admiral, I would still urge you to stop this invasion,”
The smug fire bender grimaced at the words of the old General.
“And why would I decide to do that, General Iroh?” Zhao replied tightly, yet not impolitely. He still respected the Dragon of the West, and he needed his support in this siege. But Zhao was not a man to be told no, and he didn’t want to hear of it.
“You must know that a lunar eclipse is upcoming, an event in which the waterbenders will be at their greatest strength,” Iroh stated.
“Oh don’t you worry about that, I have a solution to our “moon” problem,” he smirked to himself, not revealing his full plan. The royal family seemed to be ridden with liars……
That reminded him of the young prince, to which he tightened his fist. The boy was still out there with the information he had learned from Zhao in regards to his own knowledge of the moon spirits. If he were to warn the Northern Water Tribe, if he survived his journey there, this could be detrimental to their side of the battle.
He’d have to make sure to prioritize finding the prince once they touched down on the city. He’d have a place waiting for him back on the ship, of course.
In his bed.
He closed his eyes at the thought of it, not even thinking of the boy’s uncle standing nearby.
Before the old man could question what secrets Zhao was keeping, he raised his hand dismissively,
“You may return to your chambers on your own ship, General. You will not be needed at this moment.”
It was thrilling indeed. Dismissing the great Dragon. Contemplating how he could have his way with a prince of the Fire Nation. Perhaps one day he could even take Ozai’s place.
A wonderful thought indeed.
……………………….