kisses
This couldn’t be it. It couldn’t be over yet. He still had so many things he had to take care of. His son, Whizzer… this couldn’t be it.
Marvin kept falling, until-
Oh. It was just a dream. He opened his eyes slowly, his body still frozen in the thought of death.
He kept replaying what had happened in his dream, but the more he did, the more it slipped away from him. Oh well. That was just how things worked, he supposed.
Marvin kept his body still and looked up at the dark ceiling. It came back to him, what Whizzer had said. He understood the import of coming out. He understood why Whizzer needed it, but…
But. He wasn’t ready.
Marvin turned, which took him all the effort he could muster, and he looked at his lover. He looked so beautiful, so at peace. It stirred something inside of him he hadn’t felt for a little while. He leaned closer and gently pressed his lips against Whizzer’s cheek. He really, really did love this man. He knew it to be true. And knowing it finally fueled feelings he had missed.
“You missed,” Whizzer’s voice was raspy and soft and god, Marvin loved him.
“What?” Marvin whispered back, not understanding. And then Whizzer pulled Marvin towards himself and kissed him deeply.
Right. Marvin pulled away almost at once.
Whizzer pulled away too, a frown plastered on his face. “Am I doing something wrong?” he whispered.
Marvin shook his head. “No- I just don’t really want to kiss.”
Whizzer hesitated. “Right. Sorry, I just figured, since you kissed me-“
“Yeah. I understand. I’d rather not be touched right now? Like that, I mean. I’d love cuddles.”
Whizzer’s frown faded. He pulled Marvin in his arms and held him tightly.
Marvin kept staring at the ceiling.
“Why were you awake?”
“Nightmare,” Marvin explained softly.
“What happened?”
“Don’t remember.”
“You’re safe here. With me.”
Marvin just nodded. After a while, he couldn’t keep the recurring thought to himself any more.
“I can’t come out.”
“I know. It’s okay. Just don’t force me to fit in your closet, okay?” Whizzer spoke with so much understanding and gentleness. It stirred the love even more. He had missed feeling. So much.
Marvin nodded. He buried his face in Whizzer’s neck, completely giving into his touch.
“I really think you need to look soon. For proper help.”
Marvin closed his eyes. “It’ll just be another Mendel. I don’t know if I want to go through all that again. What if it’s another attractive doctor that steals you away?”
Whizzer huffed. “You think Mendel is attractive?”
“He isn’t ugly.”
“God, you really are sick in your head,” Whizzer said teasingly.
Marvin hummed. “You have no idea.”
They fell asleep like that. Marvin felt like this was right, like he was being a good, proper person for the first time in weeks again. A person who could smile and joke. And it felt absolutely amazing.
As long as he had his kid and his lover and moments like these, everything else would be easy to deal with.
It was a good note to fall asleep with, but he woke just as empty as ever, barely remembering anything of it. Marvin didn’t even try. He was just tired.
His eyes were heavy, his body ached. He did not want to get up and fight with the day. He wanted to disappear in the safety of bed.
He turned to his side and paused. Usually, Whizzer was gone by now, making breakfast, working out or working. Instead, his lover laid next to him and looked straight at him.
“You didn’t think I’d just let you wake up horribly again? Not on my watch, baby. Come on. I’ll get you all you need. I’ll be your servant. Ask and you shall receive.”
“I want to sleep,” Marvin grumbled pathetically.
“Not that. Anything else?”
Yes, there were a million things Marvin wanted. Looking at Whizzer’s playful but gentle face, it was more clear than any other moment what exactly it was he wanted.
He cupped Whizzer’s face and kissed him deeply.
How’s that for a response?