Chapter two
Little under two hours later, their station wagon was pulling up into the driveway of a life sized doll house. It was two stories tall, flower boxes rested on the railing of the large balcony, each window dorned white painted bars small enough that a person could only barely fit through, sitting on the edge of the front yard was a child’s playhouse. What really made it deserving of the title of dollhouse was it’s pink and lilac paint job.
“Is this a joke?” Crystal spat the second the house came into view. Her parents were going to get rid of her at a place like this?
“Don’t be like that, Crystal. We paid good money for this, it’ll be a good thing for us all!” Her mother scolded. It was pointless trying to argue with that woman, her word was final and that was that.
Crystal climbed out of the car, slamming the door shut harder than necessary. There was a tall thin woman with pepper hair in a hot pink skirt and blazer approaching them. Over her left breast was a pin with the same logo as the van that was parked in front of her house.
“Welcome, Welcome!” The woman’s heels clicked on the sidewalk as she approached them, “You must be Crystal, you will refer to me as Madame. It’s a pleasure to have you with us. How old are you?”
“She’ll be 18 in the spring,” Her father answered before she could open her mouth.
“Ah!” Madame clasped her hands together, “We reached you just in the nique of time! They’re so much more difficult once they’ve been exposed to that liberal arts nonsense. Luckily we’re saving a few this year. Come now Crystal, say your goodbyes and follow me inside!”
“Goodbye Cream Puff,” Her father pressed a kiss to her hairline, “We’ll see you soon!”
She hugged her mother and gave them a forced smile which dropped as soon as the station wagon rolled out of sight. She turned and followed Madame into the house.
The inside of the house was just as colourful as the exterior. There were high ceilings, a staircase at the end of the entrance, and fake plants everywhere. Crystal saw a girl leaning on the railing peering down at her from the second level. Crystal waved at her, but she just sneered and walked out of sight.
“In my office, Crystal” Madame opened the door for her. Madame’s office didn’t seem to fit with the aesthetic of the rest of the house. The walls were not painted with the same sickly sweet pastel colours, but rather a deep green one that caused Crystal to feel nauseous. There were portraits strung on the walls, ones where you could feel their judgement seeping through the canvas.
Madame took a seat behind the desk and gestured she do the same. Crystal tucked her dress under her as she sat.
“The other girls arrived yesterday, so I’ll catch you up to speed. This is a two month program consisting of five simple steps. Let’s just focus on the first one for now. Admitting your problem.
When you see a woman, in a short tight skirt walking past you with her long beautiful legs-“
Crystal visualized what Madame described with little effort, she felt her cheeks warm up.
“Or perhaps she’s in front of a mirror, applying lipstick on her soft, full lips. Or maybe she’s in the locker room after gym class. And she’s soaping her body, then her hands trail up and rubs her breasts-“
Crystal bit the inside of her lip at the picture, her face was practically glowing at this point.
“Now, when you picture these, do you have any unnatural thoughts-?“
“I don’t think they're unnatural”
“Aha!” Madame exclaimed causing Crystal to jump in her chair, “You don’t even see that it’s wrong! Crystal, we cannot help those who don’t think they need that help. You can only begin to heal once you admit your problem and until then you will wear these,” She placed what appeared to be just some folded grey fabric.
“You will earn the right to wear proper clothing once you’ve passed step one. It’s a difficult and long path to normalcy, Crystal. It is a battlefield of temptation out there, and you’ll have to fight. I know you have the strength to do so, but until then I want you to meet another one of our brave soldiers. Jaqueline!”
A girl about her age, maybe older, walked into the room. She wore a simple pink floral dress with a white cardigans overtop, white stockings and black ballet flats. On her head she wore a white hijab.
“Jaqueline will you please take Crystal to the restroom for her to change, then show her around the house and give her the rundown of our day-to-day”
Jaqueline nodded and gestured for Crystal to follow her.
The house seemed much smaller than the exterior portrayed, Jaqueline explained that Madame had boarded off many rooms years ago as she believed that healing was easier on the mind when with others. It just made it feel more like a prison to Crystal, a pastel fluffy prison.
“So Madame wakes us up at 7:00, we have an hour to get ready, shower, that kinda stuff. Then breakfast at 8:00,” Jaqueline spoke a little too quickly for Crystal to fully grasp what she was telling her, that and trying to keep up physically made it very difficult to focus on anything happening.
“Trust me, you don’t want to be late. Rock slept in this morning and she spent all day in Madame’s office sewing a quilt and now she has blisters all over her hands”
“Rock?”
“She’s another girl here, you’ll meet her later. Most of us use nicknames instead of our actual names, like instead of Jaqueline I’m Jackie. Her’s is just strange, but that’s alright.
Anyway, there’s group therapy until 11:45, then lunch. After that we have the afternoon to do, y’know whatever, freetime. Then at 2:00, we’re back inside for reorienting exercises. Am I missing something?” Jackie asked herself, “Oh! On weekends instead of the exercises, we have family therapy. Other than that, you didn’t miss much honestly”
They stopped in front of a carved white wooden door, “This is where we all sleep; it’s small but we don’t spend much time here”
Jackie pushed open the door to a decent sized room, the walls were painted pink, the bedspreads were pink, the nightstands were pink, even the carpet had a rosy undertone.
There were seven beds in the room, three against the same wall of the entrance and the other four on the far end. In the center of the far end wall was a large list of rules, right at the beginning in bold and underlined wrote:
‘Inappropriate behaviour will not be tolerated!’
“Inappropriate? Like swearing?” Crystal asked Jackie, but before she could respond a voice interrupted causing Crystal to jump.
“No, inappropriate as in fucking,” On the bed farthest from the door with a half finished cigarette in hand laid a fair and thin girl. Her bright unnatural yellow hair fell just below her shoulders and popped against her pink background, her eyes were dark and wide, her fingers were long and eight of her nails were long and manicured. A simple short-sleeved light pink blouse hung from her shoulders tucked into a floral skirt which ended just below her knees. It took a moment, but Crystal realized it was the same girl from the balcony,
“You get caught in the throes of sodomy, and it’s bon voyage for you Honey”
“Oh” Crystal forced a giggle, a tad embarrassed of forgetting about that.
Jackie piped in, “Don’t mind Genevieve-”
“It’s Gigi” The girl, Gigi, interrupted, obviously annoyed with the usage of her full name.
“Sorry. Don’t mind Gigi, she’s been bitchy since we’ve arrived. She’s a nothing more than a spoiled brat” Jackie spat out.
“Oh fuck off, Cox!” Gigi flipped her off then returned her attention back to her cigarette.
Jackie scoffed, grabbing Crystal by the arm and dragging her out of the room and down the flight of stairs.
“I’m guessing you don’t really like Gigi?” Crystal joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
“Well, no. I wouldn’t say that. I don't think I’ve known her long enough to like or dislike her- Oh here we are!” They were back at the entrance, just beside the front door was a pink whiteboard, with what Crystal assumed were the names of all the girls here, and checkmarks next to every name but her’s. Beside that was another list much like the one in their bedroom, but instead of rules there were steps.
Step 1: Admiting You’re A Homosexual
Step 2: Rediscovering Your Gender Identity
Step 3: Family Therapy
Step 4: Demystify The Opposite Sex
Step 5: Stimulated Sexual Experience
“Step one was easy. We all passed yesterday, all but you,” Jackie took a step towards her, “I’m a homosexual. See? That wasn’t so difficult”
“But I’m not-“
“Jaqueline, Crystal, will you please join us” Madame stood in a doorway, gesturing for the pair to follow her inside. Crystal huffed but dragged her feet behind Jackie.
Five girls and Madame sat in a circle inside the room. They all stared at her, and Crystal was suddenly very aware of what she was wearing. Jackie took a seat on one of the two vacant chairs. The seat beside Jackie’s was wrapped in a neat satin bow.
“Come sit down, Crystal,” Madame said, “Unwrap your chair!”
Crystal pulled the satin bow from her chair followed by the other girls clapping unenthusiastically and some sarcastically. Crystal gave them a small smile and nod, then quickly sat down, she went to tuck a skirt she wasn’t wearing by instinct. She was once again reminded of the scraps she was wearing.
“Hi,” The pale girl with dark hair on her left stood up, “I’m Aiden, I like the macabre. I’m a homosexual”
A curvy girl with wavy orange hair beside Aiden stood and waved, there were red blisters on her fingertips, “Hi, you can call me Rock-“
“She will not!” Madame growled.
“Okay fine, I’m Rochelle. I’m a homosexual and a lot to handle!” She smirked before sitting back down.
“We’ve met” Gigi sat with her legs spread and her arms crossed, clearly not wanting to be there.
“Genevieve!” Madame snapped at her.
The girl stood up but not without rolling her eyes, “I’m Gigi- Sorry! Genevieve, and I like girls a lot. I’m a homosexual” And then she had the audacity to wink at Crystal.
“I’m Jaida,” The next girl said, she had smooth dark skin and had her brown curls tied up, “I’m the current reigning Miss Teen Hettie Wisconsin, and I’m a homosexual”
“Nicolette. Singer, designer, homosexual” The last girl said, flashing Crystal her pearly whites. Her skin was tanned, her hair was bleach blonde with her brown roots on show.
Madame clasped her hands together, “Now Crystal. I do believe it’s time we had your first disclosure. Don’t be shy or intimidated, this is a safe environment. Why don’t you start by telling us when you first thought you might be a lesbian”
“I’m not!” Crystal felt irritated at this point, “Everyone just keeps telling me that I am!”
The girls all stared at her, a few let out snickers. Madame scowled at them.
“That is a perfectly normal way to start. Why don’t we go through what was discussed in your intervention?”
“Well I’m a vegetarian-“
The girls exchanged glances between themselves. Gigi rolled her eyes with a smirk and fell back into her chair, “So are half the girls here, Honey”
Crystal decided to ignore that comment, “I have pictures of the cheer squad in my locker”
“You think that’s normal?” Aiden piped up.
“Sure, why wouldn’t it be? Well I’ve never given it much thought…”
“Have you ever had a boyfriend?” Madame asked, trying to move the conversation along.
“I do. We’ve been going out for nearly two years now. I love him, I really do. He’s funny. He’s handsome. He’s-“
“Got the biggest dick I’ve never seen!” Gigi interrupted her with an obnoxious imitation of her. Crystal’s face heated up, she stuttered trying to find a retort.
“Have you two ever had sex?” Jackie bit her lip and smirked at her.
“I- um-“ Crystal’s face was hot to the touch at this point, “I-I’m a Christian!”
“Real easy to be a prude when you’re not attracted to him” Jackie retorted without skipping a beat.
“Stop it!” She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, “I’m not a pervert! I get decent grades. I go to church on Sundays. I like cheerleading-“
“Are you a Cheerleader?” Nicky narrowed her eyes at her, looking her up and down then grimacing.
“Well, no-“ Crystal tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, “I just have a lotta school spirit, okay?! I’m not like all of you! Everyone has those thoughts! Everyone looks at girls!”
“But you’re just assuming that,” Jaida said, “you’re just assuming they’re thinking what you’re thinking when you look. But they’re not”
Crystal’s throat went dry, the tears in her eyes threatened to fall, her voice was quiet, “I thought everyone had those thoughts… I just wanna be normal”
“Aha!” Madame exclaimed, clasping her hands together, “So you admit it! You admit you’re not normal. So, why don’t you admit you’re a homosexual?”
Crystal thought of her friends back home, of the way their lips sucked on straws during lunch, how they batted their eyelashes at the boys passing by, or when their shirts hiked up when they raised their hand in class. She never thought that wanting to cuddle next to them during movies was weird. Or that holding their hands during car rides was weird. Or that secretly wishing that the bottle would stop spinning on one of her friends was weird. Doesn’t everyone think this?
“Oh my god-“ Crystal sobbed, “I’m a homosexual. I’m a homosexual. I’m a homosexual!”
“Congratulations Crystal!” Madame stood up clapping. The other reluctantly joined, “You’ve just taken the first step towards your true direction!”
Crystal just stared off at nothing, muttering silent words of disbelief.
“Girls, go wash up for lunch. Crystal, You've earned the right to wear proper clothing!” Madame handed her a folded pink dress. Crystal didn’t move, Madame placed the dress on her lap and followed the girls out of the room.
“Oh lord,” Tears fell down her cheeks, drool dropped down her chin, mucus leaked out of her nose, “I can’t believe it. They were right. I’m a homo!”
She hiccuped once, then the room went completely silent before she collapsed down on herself and sobbed loudly on her lap.