Cynful Family

Cynful Family

Cyn was not a happy eldritch bot of doom. Mankind was like a cockroach: Everywhere, especially the most unwanted place and in addition, it was hard to get rid of it. 

In addition, Cyn, the Absolute Solver, had just lost one of her favorite puppets, one sent on a desolate planet for a grand purpose. 

Cyn grumbled as her consciousness integrated back her main frame, thoughtful. 

Copper-9.

It was supposed to be an easy mission: Humanity was already dead, the Disassembly Drones only had to make sure no other bots would develop the Absolute Solver as it was HER PRIVILEGE. 

They only had to kill defenceless drones, aside from the possible two witches alive. Potentially alive: They were very near the NULL when it exploded the planet’s core. 

So, Cyn did the only logical thing to be sure: She sent a few squads to clean the place. 

That was then she learned of an interesting fact. Somehow, Copper-9’s drones discovered how to make children. That was wholly unexpected for Cyn… But it gave her an idea. She did some research on what was left of the Internet, to accumulate knowledge on the subject.

As the work was mostly done, Cyn sent her three favorites. V, the cute adorable psychopath Tsundere, as the Internet apparently categorized her. J, the bossy girl, is loyal to her. Cyn bribed her by promising to resurrect Tessa if the mission was completed… And of course, the central piece of the mission, her favorite person in the whole universe. 

Big brother N. 

Cyn always smiled and twirled on herself simply by thinking about him. He hadn’t been the happiest since the Earth exploded. So, she erased his memories from that and the Gala before sending him on Copper 9 with a bottomless V, on whom Big Brother N obviously had a crush and J. Cyn knew her brother and he loved to do anything, you simply had to give orders! J was very good at giving orders, therefore, N would adore being with J too.

Everything should have gone according to her research and produced what she wanted.

Except that for some reasons, the three Drones thought their mission was to continue what the others had begun to do. Maybe she should have been more explicit about what she wanted of the three of them.

Maybe. 

Then again, V did kill one of the two witches when she entered the bunker recently. Cyn had been actually surprised to learn Yeva somehow had survived... Especially as N already killed the other one a few years ago. Good big brother, protecting his little sister from any threat. She would reward him with hugs when they would be reunited! Or maybe she could recreate a golden retriever for him? 

Suddenly, a variable entered the disappointing equation. It had brought results but not the one she had wanted, to be honest. 

A little worker drone, who managed to create a sick-as-hell Railgun managed to kill J. More precisely, kill J so badly that Cyn had to intervene to save the current frame. What she didn’t expect to happen was for N to side with the girl against J and her. 

This situation surprised her and as a result she had to search for more information. When the solution, the explanation appeared, Cyn smiled happily. 

This… Girl. This Uzi. She was the unknown variable who was going to equilibrate the whole equation as she wanted. The Solution to her WOES.

Laughing maniacally, Cyn raised up from her chair before walking with a smile to J’s cloning machine.

“Hello, J.” Cyn said cheerfully, before grabbing the corporate drone's drowsy face. “DISAPPOINTED STARE. The mission wasn’t accomplished.” 

J, having been killed and facing the very real threat of being killed again by Cyn who had a sick sense of humor, shuddered at the idea. Thankfully, Cyn wasn’t wearing Tessa’s skin, for once.

“But we killed a lot of drones, as per your command!” J was doing her mission as a good soldier. She had her orders and did her best to carry them out!

“Error: That wasn’t the mission. Barely a secondary objective.” Cyn corrected J, her face closer to her. The pigtailed bot could have oiled herself from sheer terror. “I will be assuming control of the situation.” Cyn raised herself up while J slumped in her cloning pod. Oh god no.

J felt her world collapsing. She had failed Tessa. AGAIN.

Cyn snapped a hand and another person woke up. Did V die too? GODDAMNIT N AND YOUR PUPPY LOOK. J knew he was actually a sick murderous drone behind his adorableness!

“... Where the hell am I?” Tessa groaned… To J’s surprise, as Cyn sat in the air, on a Solver symbol. So that’s where the skin went?!

“Merciful: You didn’t accomplish the mission but your actions will allow it to proceed.” Cyn said while booping J’s nose and sending on Tessa. “Bring her up to speed. We are going to Copper-9. Immediately.”

“Boss? The atmosphere is toxic for humans.” J pointed beforehand. Cyn sighed and bored, she let a powerful groan escape her mouth.

“Annoyed : I know, J. That’s why she is a gynoide.” Oh. Good. That would avoid any potential issues. 

This time, however, Cyn actually explained on the way the mission she initially gave to J, V and N so there wouldn’t be any other misunderstanding.

Tessa almost died of laughter, despite the situation. J meanwhile, considered once again, suicide to end her own torments.

—--------------

During the prom ball.

V had ended up late to the prom, because of something unexpected. Namely, as she was crawling through the vents… Well, she met J. J who was supposed to be dead. Both ended up heads first into another, bumping it pretty hard as both were in a kind of a rush.

“Oh, hello V. Happy to see you didn’t die, I guess?” Her friend (?) sounded highly tired and behind her, a human with a spacesuit waved at her for a second.

“... WAIT IT’S THAT WHAT V BECAME? Ok, you can say a lot of things about Cyn but you have to admit, she knows how to make a body.” Tessa perked out from behind J as she saw her adorable pigtailed drone stop and speak.

V blinked several times. That voice. Tessa? THEIR TESSA?! But she was dead?! V was half certain she ate her spleen! (The Gala was not a memory she liked to revisit, sue her).

“I know, big shock. Cyn was actually in a good mood and rewarded me with her.” J explained quickly before staring at V. The latter suddenly realized what J was implying and her circuits turned colder than the darkest night on Copper 9.

“Please, J. Tell me only you two came to the planet.” 

“The Boss is here, to assume control of the mission. However, good luck being faster than her in a vent. You know how much she like to fuck around in them.” 

V had her idea of where Cyn could be. The little shit was always at the same place: Where she could cause the biggest bloodshed. Especially if it meant finishing the Job. For the love of god, this nightmare had watched Alien too many times and actually reenacted it a few times. Except the xenomorph won.

V rushed to the prom as fast as she could. If Cyn was taking the lead it could only mean one thing.

Tessa stared at J. “Shouldn’t you have told her what the mission actually was?” 

The corporate drone considered the situation and then shrugged.

“Nah. I like to see Miss Bitch actually lose her cool once in a while.”

Let other people suffer for once.

—--------

“So, in the end, with all other candidates having mysteriously disappeared, the prom queen is…” Lizzy knew V would do her grand entrance now. The girl was maybe a killer and a baddie but she knew something about dramatic entrance. 

She didn’t expect a maid bot with a bowtie on her head to fall from the ceiling. Blond hair, like V, head tilting and kinda cute but with a weird vibe.

“Surprise: Aie. Floor weaker than expected. Harder too.” Cyn said, with her neck bending at a strange angle, something other drones could probably do but would avoid to try. Was she malfunctioning?

Her lower body seemingly autonomous and disarticulated from her upper, Cyn suddenly switched her posture and got back up, with a smile on her face.

“Joy. Greetings, tin cans.” According to her calculations, the bunker was the most likely place where she would find Big Brother N and Uzi. Thanks to Tessa and her human DNA, she also had access to some of the bunker’s internal systems and it allowed her to see all the teenage robots together in this weird place. Therefore, it was the likeliest place to find them.

Doll met Cyn’s gaze. Her own visor suddenly began to glitch as she was seeing the Solver, the main Host, staring at her with a huge smile. Doll already thought the Virus had a main host. She didn’t expect to see it on this planet. Especially not now, as she was laying a trap for a Murder Drone. However…

One look had been enough for the Russian drone to understand, as Cyn smiled like a murder drone. This wouldn’t be a fight or an execution. It would be a slaughterhouse. Doll thought she could beat a murder drone in a fight but her? Oh boy. No.

She knew what to do. Or at least… What to try. Doll quickly made a gesture to Lizzy. She was to continue the prepared speech but the attack was aborted. Right. Now. 

Lizzy didn’t pretend to understand what went behind her friend’s mind, but she knew Doll ignored fear. If she was nonetheless scared shitless… Well, it sucked to be Lizzy. 

“The prom queen is this adorable drone!” 

Cyn had a good imagination. She was constantly thinking about how she could satiate her various desires and she had a lot of them. Eating. Playing. Sleeping. Cuddling in her own private army of N. Preparing a plan to exterminate even more humans.

Getting crowned queen of a prom ball wasn’t on the list. The tiny eldrichtian robot looked puzzled as the crown landed on her head and everyone was just as confused as her. 

Okay. Cyn. You are a monster with untold powers, able to shift reality and to control life and death. You could do this.

“Hello? Not understanding. Prank?” She had seen Carrie after all and SOLVER HELPED HER IF THERE WAS A BUCKET OF OIL ABOVE HER HEAD.

Everyone stayed silent before Thad smiled at her and pointed his fingers as if they were guns toward the queen.

“Hello, queen. Want to dance for a bit ?” He meant it and he used his charms with his proposition.

Lizzy stared at Thad with a thousand yard look. Dude, it was a robot made to kill them all probably. What are you, Uzi?!

Cyn was immune against most conventional weapons. A boy just as wholesome as her big brother wasn’t conventional and the robot queen screamed internally.

She was still a young lady on the inside, when you were looking past the attempts to destroy sentient life.

“...Sheepish nod. Will you teach me?” 

A few seconds later, on the dance floor.

“You’ve got moves, lady! So what’s your name?” Thad was really impressed as Cyn was reproducing his own, including his sick one where he was doing a one handstand with a spin. It was even more awesome because Cyn seemed able to independently control all of her limbs. The end result was insane dancing moves. Especially after Thad put his hand on her to help and make the most insane moves.

“Cyn have a good teacher?” Cyn was wondering why part of her core was overheating. It wasn't something she did on herself, only on the murder drones, because vampires were sexy! “You move good! Happy! Puzzled! Hot?!” 

Lizzy looked at Doll who joined her on the podium. “So… Can you explain why I had to make her the queen?” If V wasn’t the queen, she should have been the one.

[Do you see my magic powers?] Doll said plainly, emotionlessly now that she was a bit calmer.

“Well, yeah?” Lizzy was totally aware of that. She had helped Doll to feed a few times after all.

[She is the original witch. Think me but times fuck you.] Doll accurately assessed bitterly. That bitch stole her vengeance! The worst part? She was certain the witch was perfectly aware of her own infection considering she winked at her a few times. However, blessed be Thad, the himbo managed to attract her full attention. It was probably the only reason no one was dead. Yet.

“So… Why don’t you ask her to kill the bitch?” Let them fight after all. Best case scenario, they killed each other.

“Which bitch?” V asked, putting her head between the two teenage drones… Before hiding from Cyn’s sight, grabbing the two shocked teens and shutting them up before they could scream, “Also how is no one dead, yet?!” 

Oh, so the Murder Drone was also highly afraid of the Witch. Strange, Doll could have sworn they were on the same side. However, seeing V scared and sweating (how did she do that?) was warming her heart. Good. SUFFER MURDER DRONE. SUFFER.

“I made her the prom queen and she is having fun.” Lizzy explained quietly, as they didn’t want to attract attention, “Anything we should know?” 

“Keep her happy and content. Otherwise we are all dead. Or worse.” V’s seriousness puzzled Lizzy further before Doll nodded. This Witch could probably steal their soul.

“Yeah about that, Cyn has been chillier ever since my death.” J joined the conversation, popping her head next to V, to Doll and Lizzy’s surprise, making the other three drones actually let out a small scream of terror. WHY WERE THE MURDER DRONES SO QUIET?! “And she is here because she wants to meet…”

CRASH. Everyone stared at the new hole in the ceiling and a new duo landing on the dance floor. Namely, Uzi in her dress, with N’s hands on her hips. V was not jealous. She hadn’t made N go search for matched suits because she wanted them to look good together! Also, why did she have her railgun?! SHE ALREADY HAD A HOT SMOKING GUN, N!

“STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM! We won't let you hurt… These… Drones? ” Uzi tried to be a badass for a second, before noticing that everyone was actually having fun. Especially Thad with a blond maid girl, whose eye visors matched the Murder Drone’s. A NEW ONE? Also, apparently J was in the back. How many times would she need to kill her?!

Considering she stared at them first with surprise…

“Surprise.” Cyn said, not expecting them to come like this. Also, who was going to hurt who? She wasn’t planning to hurt anyone (for the moment and especially in front of the green eyed drone).

And then with apparent joy…

“JOY! BIG BROTHER N!” Cyn teleported on him to hug the taller Murder Drone with all of her might. Well, not all of it, she didn’t want to break him. However the situation was weird, especially as N looked even more clueless than before.

“...I have a sister?” 

Uzi escaped from N’s strong and firm hands to take a battle stance against this new drone. She even separated this girl from her N.

“PROVE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING BEFORE I BLAST YOU A NEW ONE!” 

Uzi totally missed the girls on the podium making her signs to NOT THREATEN THE ALMIGHTY BEING IN FRONT OF HER.

Cyn looked at Uzi, with a smile. Her body looked clanked and thoughtful…

“Questioning. Are you afraid?” Why was she afraid? Cyn meant no harm… For now. However, her voice suddenly made sense for N and Uzi who recognized it. Oh shit. It was the centipede. “Cooperative. I will prove my sisterhood to Big Brother N.” 

Uzi expected many things, like a hologram or her showing a serial designation number. She turning into a centipede again and scaring them into submission. Anything, really.

Cyn turning her eyes into a giant picture of a golden retriever wasn’t one of them. N properly melted before hugging her. Instinctively, he knew she was his little gobber. Someone he had to protect and make happy.

“You know, this is a weirdly valid answer.” Uzi had to begrudgingly admit… She had a striking likeness with N… And a good pettable head.

“... Doesn’t that mean we have all murder drones, plus one in our not secured anymore bunker?” Khan pointed out, as he was kind of sad no one was using his beautiful and perfect door and destroying the ceiling.

Everyone stared at Khan who suddenly realized he shouldn’t have said that.

“Giggle. Funny man. Peaceful. No fear for the drones. No one shall be harmed.” Then, the world shifted, “Threatening. UNLESS SOMEONE TRY SOMETHING FUNNY?!” 

Everyone saw for a split second the cute little girl turning into… something. Something with way too many limbs and eyes to be normal. Something that made Uzi drop her weapon immediately.

“Nope. We are good. We are all friends here, right?” Thad said first before headpatting Cyn who properly… Purred. Cyn was the first surprised as she didn’t know she could even do that!

 “You are an admin bot from JCJenson?” Uzi asked, still wondering if the megacorps wanted them dead.

“...Lying: Yes. Truthful: I am the one who gives orders.”

N headpatted even more his sister and if he could have sweat, he would have sweat bullets. Oh shit. Oh shit. She was the one who sent them here!? 

“Misunderstanding. Drones weren’t supposed to kill the workers. Instructions unclear. Error.” Cyn began to explain happily, while getting a hug on both sides, having attracted Tessa who was there but honestly, she was the least crazy thing here. “Interest: No drones have shown ability for reproduction. Except here.” 

Everyone was listening to Cyn’s speech, except J who was busy blowing bubbles. She didn’t want to speak about her own mental breakdown when she learned… The truth. However, she was now very much watching V, N and Uzi. At least, this one would be fun.

“What this has to do with… Everything?” Uzi wanted the truth. Why did so many people die? Why everything was so weird. WHY THE MIRRORS KEPT BREAKING AROUND HER?

“Dreaming: I want a big family.” Cyn said playfully, while looking at N. “Big brother N needs to give me a lot of nephews and nieces.” 

Massive silence for everyone. Wait, what did the robot demon goddess say?

“And the shoe finally dropped.” J said while blowing bubbles as V turned slowly her head at her leader. “I made that face too when I learned THAT.”

“Wait. What?” V needed to know if she had heard right. If she hadn’t made a fucking mistake all along.

“Explanatory MacGuffin: According to my research, two girls and one man in a small confined place is a perfect condition to produce offspring.” Cyn said before staring at N, not happy, “But nothing happened. Despite explicit order preventing N’s crush to wear pants. Or N’s superior physical strength for better kabedon!” 

Uzi slowly had a realization, beginning to follow Cyn’s logic behind her actions. V too. 

“Oh, god, you made them vampire robots because Vampires are hot and sexy?” Wait, no, it wasn’t the same realization as V but it seemed to make Cyn very happy as she nodded frantically her head.

“Overjoyed: Yes! You understand! That’s why, Uzi, I am assigning you authorization to be part of Big Brother N’s life. I knew Big Brother N would choose a good girl.

Thoughtful: I should have known V wouldn’t be able to complete the mission.” 

V landed near them, not understanding a thing… And also being angry at the idea of being replaced by Uzi. She knew N far longer than this little minx! They were practically childhood friends! Also N had a crush on HER. NOT ON UZI. She had been a bit cold towards him but… Not to that point, right? RIGHT?!

“Oh?! And why couldn't I have won with N!?” 

Cyn smiled almost sadly. DID CYN PITY HER ?! 

“Sad: the childhood friend always loses to a newer heroine who makes the protagonist grow. The better girlfriend.” 

Uzi was now blushing to death as she understood… Everything. “Wait. You think I am… N’s Girlfriend?” 

Cyn pivoted her head to 180° to face Uzi. Meep. She wasn’t smiling any more and her eyes turned into the usual Murder Drone’s X.

“Inquisitorial: According to research, coming to a ball with a man is a sign of being a couple. Are you PLAYING WITH MY BROTHER’S HEART?” 

The last sentence was said while Cyn suddenly turned into a centipede of death, circling around Uzi, N and Thad who was still there.

Everyone expected the situation to either be diffused or aggravated by Uzi saying something, including herself as she almost oiled herself.

“Honestly, still cute.” Thad said with a smile at Cyn who… Blushed. Everyone stared at Thad who shrugged. “Hey, there is a reason why I sometimes speak with Uzi about horror stuff and why it’s hot.” 

Uzi nodded and bump fisted Thad. They both knew he had wanted to say “Will” but was too polite and respectful.

Cyn stopped functioning for a second, before turning back into a “normal” drone. A little blush was under her eyes, as it was apparent she was a bit overheating. Uzi couldn’t believe Thad’s charm. Would he join her in the very small club of “let’s date things that can kill us”? 

“...Cute? Cyn?” She stared at Thad and poke his face. “You. I am keeping you. I need to understand.” Absolutely not because she was starting to realize she could have someone like that.

“As for the previous question… It’s more…” Uzi was trying to justify herself as Cyn was staring at her, calmer now. “We… Never officially said anything?” She never told N he was her type and that sometimes her “BITE ME” was actually kind of a demand.

“Inquisitorial: N isn’t enough?” Cyn asked, not understanding why someone wouldn’t understand N’s perfectness.

“It’s more that Uzi and V do deserve better than me… Cyn, is that right?” N said before correcting Cyn’s messed up hair and ribbon… With his sad puppy eyes “Everyone tells me I am an idiot, always messing up, is incompetent…” 

J suddenly had very blank eyes as Cyn stopped smiling and started to look at V and J. Oh. Shit. Yeah, maybe they shouldn’t have said those things, even if V had to do that because of her deal with Cyn and the fact she had to hide things from N.

“Besides, V is a way too wonderful girl for me. She is beautiful, graceful and her psychotic laugh is melodious. However, everytime I tried to invite her to spend some time together, she was clearly uninterested. I can only respect the fact we don’t have the same feelings.” V was suddenly screaming internally as N complimented her. AAAAAAAAAAH. Wait. That time under the storm. Had he been trying to invite her on a date? “She is also secretly caring as she always made sure to share a bit of oil with me when my hunt didn’t go well. And as for Uzi… Well… She is smart and dedicated. She is also super cool, way more than me. I don’t know if she could fall for a clueless and spineless…” 

Uzi, at these words, grabbed N’s beautiful face and slammed her against his. She couldn’t tolerate his self-depreciation any longer, for god’s sake. Cyn was suddenly smiling like a huge fangirl. YES. YES.

“YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, CARING AND EMPATHIC ROBOT. Also, you are competent! I mean, you beat V in a duel, remember?” N had to hear this, to know he was a good man. A competent, beautiful caring drone.

“I didn’t lose, bitch!” V tried to defend herself. SHE WAS THE MOST EFFICIENT MURDER DRONE.

“That’s not what the V shaped crater in the warehouse says!” Uzi pointed out, before hugging a very confused and happy (?) N, “And that’s because you kept ignoring this wonderful robot that he is mine, now!” 

V and N missed a beat. What did Uzi say?

It was only to placate Cyn, Uzi would say afterwards about the next thing she did. It would be a fucking lie, as it was also to show V how the things are done and to prove something to N and her. 

She kissed N in front of everyone. With passion and gutso.

Including in front of Khan who suddenly despaired.

“NO! MY DAUGHTER IS INTO NIGHTCORE AND CANNIBALISM! … A bit like her mom BUT STILL!” Nori had been quite the freak and Khan regretted nothing. His mom always told him about the crazy girl and boy had she been right. 

“HAPPY. HAPPY.” Cyn was as happy as possible when she saw part one of her plan finally finished. Finding a girlfriend for his brother. In fact, she was jumping happily. “Good girl. Now. According to my research, couples at prom must dance.” Cyn was smiling, continuing her relentless attack, before being backstabbed by a smooth criminal, who put his hands on Cyn’s shoulder.

“I will be happy to teach you how to dance then, Cyn.” 

Everyone stared at Thad who was now openly flirting with Cyn who had a blank face. Especially as he winked at her, making some smoke vent from both sides of head.

“Tactical retreat. Overheating.” 

Then she activated the Solver to teleport herself among the girls on the podium, Tessa with her.

“PANIC. PANIC. This isn’t a scenario planned!” She needed people to talk with. To calm her down.

Lizzy, being an alpha bitch, let a little laugh escape before being hit by Doll. Do not mock the goddess of death and her existential crisis at the idea of someone having a crush on her. Or her on someone. J looked at her boss, apparently done with life and checking how she could actually get drunk. She knew bots could get drunk, they simply needed the right liquids.

“Good job, boss. You seduced someone. You are now the trope of the “ugly girl” who only needed the beautiful joke to reveal she was beautiful all along.” J spent way too many nights watching romantic movies to deal with her insane loneliness. 

Cyn looked at her. then panicked nonetheless, as a young maiden who didn’t know what to do. Ok, now Doll was finding that a bit fun too. Tessa, meanwhile, had a malicious idea and was slowly sneaking herself to the music console…

Also it was hilarious to see Uzi and V suddenly acting like cats as N was in the middle of them. Apparently, seeing her claim on N’s melting faster than JCJenson’s stock, once it was revealed they were the one who blew up Earth by mistake during the Cyn invasion, made her realize she needed to act fast and she had kissed him immediately.

N was now screaming too, having to deal with two potential girlfriends and Khan trying to install a door on his face, calling him the end of his girl virtuousness. 

Doll pondered for a second if she could try to launch a surprise attack to kill everyone, but considering one of Cyn’s eyes was staring at her… It wouldn’t be a surprise and it would fail.

“Receptacle. Don’t try anything funny. I am not going to control you further because you are Uzi’s cousin. Uzi is N’s girlfriend. Therefore, you are part of my family. DO NOT RESIST FAMILY.” Cyn wanted desperately to ignore her own issue and Doll was providing a good solution. 

[Your drones killed my family!] Doll pointed out with a growl, trying to look intimidating.

“Thoughtful: Oh. Right. Good reason. I will fix them later. Family gift?” Cyn said, adding that in her notes. Namely, she wrote it on J’s hand. “J. Make me remember to recreate them. Should I… recreate other peoples ?” 

[Maybe Uzi’s mom, since she is also your family, considering the situation?] Nori had been the fun aunt before dying, after all. She was not going to tell Uzi it was most likely N however. The two looked so freaking cute together.

Cyn nodded. This actually made sense. She would delete the Solver from them, however. IT WAS HERS.

“Happy. Thankful. Good idea. Big Sister Uzi should be happy, right?” Doll was now in her okay list. She would let her with her Solver.

Okay, everything was slowly coming up together and Cyn had taken control again. She was the Absolute Solver, the Ultimate End of the Universe and everything was going according to her WILL!

Then, Tessa put the music on for a slow. Everyone had forgotten about her but she still remembered Cyn killing her. Her family was fair game to be perfectly honest. Killing her was however a dick move. Having her spleen eaten alive WAS NOT SOMETHING NICE.

Cyn was sadly too powerful to enact any kind of violent vengeance but thankfully, Tessa was smarter than that.

As a result, she had given thought about the situation and decided to troll Cyn but in a good way. 

Namely, using the non-verbal communication language of wingwoman and pilot to look at Thad, who understood his role while she took care of the ambiance.

As the music played, Cyn was grabbed against Thad who flashed his smile at the most powerful AI in the universe, who could affect the fabric of reality. 

Sadly for the Dark Type that was Cyn, Fairy attacks were super effective.

“Hey, my proposition still stands. Do you want to dance with me, beautiful eldritch girl? Who may possess my soul?” He even spoke to her ears, softly.

Cyn almost died of overheating at that moment. 

“INTERNAL PANICK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! TOO HOT!”

Meanwhile on the dance floor, N was screaming internally as he was hugged very closely by two wonderful and beautiful girls who he crushed on. However, him being silent and hugging them was the only reason they weren’t fighting to the death to obtain him.

“So… Herm… The dress looks good on you two?” N tried to break the awkward silence but felt as if he shouldn’t have as it ignited even more the competitiveness between the two.

“Oh? Who wears it the best then, N? This little emo rabbit or the undiluted absolutely beautiful predator in front of you?” V asked seductively in his ears. N would have tried to say something but he was interrupted by Uzi, on the tips of her feets, passing her arms behind his neck.

“Don’t listen to her. She isn’t a predator, she is a pervert who doesn't even wear pants.” 

“HEY! It was because of Cyn’s directive.” V poorly tried to defend herself from the baseless accusation. THAT ONE WAS WAY TOO PERSONAL.

“Precision: The directive was only when you were in the pod or the spire. Hunting with no pants isn’t optimal and a choice you made on your own.” Cyn said, teleporting nearby them… Before noticing Thad was still holding her hand. Oh crap.

Cyn was promptly silenced by Thad. He put his hand on the maid drone’s hips and got her closer to him, both of their bodies being weirdly hot. Then, Thad winked at his bro N, knowing he helped him a bit with his situation.

Also, Cyn was indeed his type. Being best friends with Cyn’s big brother would definitely help, right?

Also, before Cyn could pull out another teleportation,Thad proceeded to guide her on the dancefloor again.

“So… Second time we danced together. I hope you will prefer this one. Don’t worry, you simply have to imitate me again.” Thad’s face was closer than ever and Cyn discovered new things suddenly, screaming internally.

“Blushing! Panicking! Not knowing what to do!” 

“Don’t worry boss, you are doing great!” J yelled from afar, as she was now using the oil she found to make herself a robot cocktail. 

She was way too tired to really care anymore. J had finally evolved into the final form of a corpo: Tired, not giving a single fuck anymore. However, seeing the abomination who ruined her life being on the grill? Yeah, she was going to enjoy it to the fullest with a slight smile. Lizzy and Doll looked at her and her drink and J sighed. “It’s only for adult drones, little ones.” 

“Yeah, and we are. It’s our prom ball, you idiot. So give the good stuff.” Lizzy groaned before producing a fake ID. J stared at her… Before Lizzy pulled her real one. “Oh, right, I don’t need the fake one anymore.” 

Part of J was wondering if it was the right idea to give the equivalent of alcoholic beverage to barely sentient toast. Then decided she wasn’t paid to care about that. 

“Girls. I am going to teach you how a good corpo does shots.” 

Khan, meanwhile, was pondering how the situation had gone so far into the craziness and if he should stop the ball. 

On one side, his daughter was dancing with two murder drones. On the other hand, he was also pretty sure it prevented them from killing them all and destroying his beautiful doors.

“Should I… Do something?” 

“Are we paid to do that?” The Teacher asked, as he was there all along, eating peacefully some batteries. Sweet. Also, the pigtailed girl was a mood kindred and made him a good drink.

“Well, no, but… My daughter…” 

“Uzi is finally with some friends. What’s the worst that could happen?” Even the teacher pointed that one out for Khan.

“Her getting a baby with a murder drone and you have to deal with it in a few years.” Khan managed to say dryly, which made the teacher pause. He hadn’t thought of that one.

“I will have to resign the year before and join the WDF. Way less hazardous. Robo-god, I can’t deal with this.” 

“Distracted: You are welcome.” Cyn said from afar. They really didn’t want to open that can of worms. Especially if she could actually control the murder drones.

Thad then make her world turn upside down. WHERE THE HELL DID HE GOT THIS ROSE BETWEEN HIS TEETHS?!

—--------

After the Slow, N was at J’s improvised bar to get his own robot-cocktail. He had managed to escape, for a small moment, the intensive attention from his two… Girlfriends? 

“So… Are you okay, N?” J asked kindly, unusually to her character. Even N, who remembered her trying to kill him, looked puzzled. However, he did need to talk to someone responsible and J was the closest one.

“Thanks, J, for caring,” N said, before slowly drinking his own glass, “It’s… Really weird. I knew this suit would make me dapper but not THAT MUCH!” He still didn’t believe it was his character that made Uzi and V actually like him.

J laughed drily, while observing Tessa actually enjoying the dancefloor. The poor teen had only spoken to robots before. Now, she was a drone too and with other robots to enjoy the party. All thanks to N, technically.

“You are a very poor killer N. By definition, it means you are probably a good person.” J pointed out. She had a lot to be forgiven for and supporting N was the first step. Brrrr and Cyn had actually considered her as a potential girl for this puppy? Sure he was cute and easy on the eye but J’s type had more courage.

“Thank you? I guess?” N was unsure about the compliment as he was a Murder Drone. It meant he should be good at killing, right? 

“On the other hand, young man, should you disrespect my daughter, I will WELD the door of your room.” Khan said appearing so silently no one noticed him. He was still overseeing his daughter a bit but right now she was apparently in a huge discussion with the Angel of Death and he didn’t want to get close to the heated negotiation. “And I need to remind you that I can do that well enough to stop Murder Drones just like yourself.” 

Both Murder Drones looked at Khan trying to be intimidating… And properly ignored him. 

“And you J? How are you doing?” 

“Well, now Tessa is alive, Cyn is calm and probably way less genocidal… I mean, I doubt she wants to destroy the planet anymore.” J explained with both drones suddenly listening way more.

“Thirsty. I need my drink, J. Denial: I don’t know why but dancing with Thad made me overheat.” Cyn said, appearing and looking a bit exhausted, not familiar with this kind of situation. “Correction: I didn’t destroy Earth. Only ate the remains. Worry: Would that scare Thad?” 

“Don’t worry, Cyn. Thad is an excellent friend. My only issue is the fact I have to actively suppress him and the other drones from my targeting system!” N said with a huge smile to his “Little Sister”. Still processing that one, while petting Cyn who was discovering the beverage made by J.

Cyn thought about what N told him and… The Solver’s symbol appeared in both of her eyes, as all the Murder Drones, Doll and Uzi suddenly shut down.

“Silly: Ooops. I forgot about that. Updating system.” Cyn said while sipping her drink… And suddenly the Disassembly Drones were up and running. J was the first to look at her boss, almost ready to yell before noticing Cyn’s smile. “Mission accomplished. Asides from Doll and Uzi, no witches are alive. The Solver stays in the family. No more. Oillust.” 

—--------------

In a church, a core sneezed despite having no nose. Very weird shit.

—---------------

“You know, this situation reminds me of an anime,” Tessa thought with an open voice as she was watching the “Show” that was V and Uzi arguing on who was the best for N, “About a man who has to make 100 girls his soulmates as otherwise the gods would punish them.” 

[Considering the situation, it’s weirdly accurate.] Doll approved, way calmer now. Did she still want to punt V into low orbit ? Definitely. However, considering this weird… Robot maid goddess… Promised to resurrect her parents and the fact the colony was actually safe now… Well, Doll was chilling. That and also not wanting to sink her teeth into another robot to drink their oil. Well, she still wanted to sink them into Lizzy but as two consenting adults and in private.

“Isn’t anime for people like Uzi?” Lizzy said smugly before feeling someone behind her. She was going to add losers before turning back her head slowly and watching Cyn, standing still only a few millimeters behind her own face. Her smile clearly invited Lizzy to finish her sentence and probably her own life. Lizzy’s instinct kicked in, “Which totally means absolute stuff everyone should know about and Tessa girl is going to tell us more about it RIGHT NOW!” 

“Praising: good girl.” She would not tolerate anyone trying to shit talk her sister-in-law.

“I was going to say that the first two girls were also into each other.” Tessa added, as Cyn was still both her adorable clanky bot and the one who killed the human race.

Cyn, Doll and Lizzy stared at Tessa. The murderous bot and the russian stared at each other, somehow understanding each other. Maybe it was their Solver wanting to solve the situation?

Uzi and V felt strange as a Solver symbol appeared on each other’s neck… And forced them to kiss. While, at first, it was weird and they were at first repulsed and weirded out… Well… 

“Damn. You should stop forcing them.” 

“Interested and curious: We stopped. They are enjoying it.” Cyn said, as she was taking notes.

Soon N too was very interested in the spectacle. So two girls kissing each other was actually sexy? Neat. 

“Oh. So Uzi is also bisexual. She truly takes after her mom.” Khan said, before making a sign to J to pour him something harder. He needed it. This actually attracted J’s attention as how weird a comment this was. 

“Wait, this…” 

Khan took a good chunk of his glass, “The first time I saw Uzi’s mom, she was, as far as I knew, a sexy goth lesbian. Thankfully, she was bi. The things she did…” 

He missed his tsundere goth wife. He missed her sincerely everyday of his life.

“She was the only one who could open my backdoor” He sighed, before finishing his drink and collapsing a bit.

“And this is too much information, thank you.” J didn’t want to open that door anymore.

N meanwhile was closing on V and Uzi kissing intensively… And was yeeted by Thad in the pile who quickly became a bit steamy.

Cyn was happy as this happened.

“Perfect: Everything is happening according to plan.” 

Thad appeared behind her to hug her, his hand slowly passing on her skin.

“Hi beautiful. Want to try this too?” 

“Helpless: J, I require help. Lying: I don’t like this situation!” 

“Sorry, boss. You need to face your own demons.” J said with a smile.

Thad wasn’t going to kiss her. Yet. He simply wanted to slowly corrupt her darkness with something warm and fuzzy.

After the second date however… 

Lizzy and Doll, meanwhile, were very interested in how the Uzi and V kiss involved N. Tessa was also watching this with mixed feelings.

“You know, I was their master before. I feel weird about my robots dating other robots.” 

As it is now, the Teacher was writing the report about the prom. It had been a pivotal point for the drone kind history. 

Many other things happened in that universe, just as V wondered who fathered her child, N or Uzi. Lizzy becoming likeable… Or Cyn trying to undo a lot of her mistakes.

But it was a good universe. A nice one where the Absolute solver helped people and in the end… People were better, thanks to the power of love and Thad.