Klance Shippers, a Blue Eyed Cat, and Poor Keith
(What’s Crackalackin? at 12:23pm)
KeeefyBoy: Since when did you guys get a cat?
Imahunk: Her name is Blue (Lance named her) and she is a Bombay cat.
QueenPigeon: When, why, how?
Imahunk: We got her a couple days ago
Imahunk: Why, how?
QueenPigeon: Why Blue, and how did you manage to sneak her past us.
Imahunk: Her eyes are a beautiful blue and we didn’t really try
Imahunk: She normally hangs out around Lance so I’m not surprised you didn’t see her when you were over
Princess: First of all, the name...oh my god, I love it
Princess: Second of all, I love cats
KeeefyBoy: She is adorable, and I don’t really like cats much
Imahunk: She is probably the best cat that I have ever met
Imahunk: Lance absolutely adores her and she seems to love him
Dad: Aww
(What’s crackalackin? at 2:09)
McSexy: I go to sleep for a couple hours and y'all start talking about me and my cat behind my back
Princess: We said all good things though
Imahunk: Sorry, buddy
Imahunk: But seriously, Blue is amazing
McSexy: I know she is
QueenPigeon: Soooo….to change the subject
QueenPigeon: Movie night, what are we watching? What are we eating? Who is cooking?
McSexy: I’m helping Hunk make quesadillas, popcorn, and my Mamá’s lemonade
QueenPigeon: Oh my god, your mom’s lemonade is actually spectacular
KeeefyBoy: I have never had it before
McSexy: …
Imahunk: …
QueenPigeon: …
Princess: …
Dad: …
Dad: Please tell me that you are joking
McSexy: How have you never had it?
KeeefyBoy: I don’t know, I just haven’t
McSexy: ...I have failed you
Imahunk: Lance…
McSexy: I am an awful friend, I am so so sorry Keith
KeeefyBoy: Oh my god, how good is it? You are acting like you just killed my entire family
McSexy: What I have done is so much worse
Imahunk: Lance, buddy, it’s alright
McSexy: Hunk, how can you say that what I have done is okay? I have deprived him of one of the best things that I have ever had
Dad: Have you at least had Lance’s and Hunk’s quesadillas?
KeeefyBoy: ...no
Imahunk: I’m pretty sure Lance just died
Imahunk: I just heard a big crash from his room
Princess: You just killed him
QueenPigeon: He dead
Imahunk: Even Blue got spooked, damn
Dad: My poor children
Dad: One is deprived of the best food and drinks that I have ever had, the other died of guilt
Princess: How are you doing, Hunk
Imahunk: Critical condition, but not as bad as Lance
McSexy: I am so sorry, Keith
Imahunk: I am sorry as well
KeeefyBoy: It’s fine?
Princess: Anyway, what are we going to watch
McSexy: Hunk and I have a couple different picks that we think y’all would like
QueenPigeon: What’s with you and the y’all?
QueenPigeon: You have been spending too much time with Keith
KeeefyBoy: Y’all are just jealous
McSexy: Darn tootin they are
QueenPigeon: I can’t handle you guys
McSexy: …
KeeefyBoy: …
KeeefyBoy: Y’all*
McSexy: Y’all*
(What’s crackalackin? at 5:31am)
McSexy: I NEED HELP
KeeefyBoy: What did you do?
McSexy: I HAVE THE FUCKED UP
QueenPigeon: Lance, what did you do?
Imahunk: Do I need to help you hide a body again?
McSexy: Not yet, but you might need to hide my body soon enough
Imahunk: Lance, I’m not helping you hide your own body
McSexy: Aww, why not? :(
Imahunk: Do you want me to throw up on your corpse?
McSexy: No thanks, I’m good
McSexy: Fine, if I die I’m making Keith bury me in the sand at the beach in Cuba
KeeefyBoy: Ew
KeeefyBoy: I mean, I don’t mind burying you, but why at the beach?
QueenPigeon: Yeah, honestly, wouldn’t your body just get washed out into the ocean
McSexy: That’s the plan. I want it to be like a scavenger hunt. You go back to that spot a couple years later to see if I am still there or not
Dad: …
Princess: ....
Dad: Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Hunk has helped Lance bury a body before?
Princess: Screw that, Lance wants us to have a scavenger hunt with his rotting corpse
McSexy: What can I say, man, I think it would be a fun little game
QueenPigeon: #wtf
Dad: #Blocked
KeeefyBoy: #Wtfdidyouwantanywaywhydidyoutextus
Princess: That’s a rather long hashtag
KeeefyBoy: You know it
McSexy: Oh yea, anyway
McSexy: I MAY HAVE BEEN ON MY WAY TO CLASS AND THIS DICK MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE PURPOSELY BUMPED INTO ME SO I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE CALLED HIM A ASSHOLE AND HE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE PUNCHED ME IN THE NOSE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GOTTEN SOMEONE SUSPENDED
McSexy: Also I think he broke my nose
KeeefyBoy: LANCE WHAT THE FUCK
KeeefyBoy: IM COMING OVER RIGHT NOW
KeeefyBoy: JESUS WHY DIDNT YOU START WITH THAT
McSexy: Meh, I don’t know, we were talking about how I wanted to be buried after I die
Imahunk: LANCE WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU
McSexy: I’m in our apartment
Imahunk: I’m on my way home now
QueenPigeon: I’m going to kill this guy
QueenPigeon: What the hell is his name?
McSexy: He’s already suspended
Dad: That’s not good enough! For how long!?
QueenPigeon: Oooh, dads mad
McSexy: He got suspended for a couple weeks but they are debating if he should be expelled or not
Dad: Did anyone see this happen?!
McSexy: Yeah, a teacher and a couple students
Dad: Give me the teachers name and I’ll take care of everything
Princess: What are you going to do?
Dad: I’m going to handle it
Imahunk: That normally means that you are going to kill someone
Dad: Debating it
McSexy: Jesus Shiro
McSexy: It isn’t that big of a deal
Princess: LANCE THIS DICKHEAD TRIPPED YOU AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO PUNCH YOU
KeeefyBoy: I am outside let me in
QueenPigeon: Ooooh, moms mad too
Imahunk: Keith is even madder
QueenPigeon: What you mean?
Imahunk: I just walked into the apartment building and I can already hear him yelling
QueenPigeon: Damn
KeeefyBoy: This fucker bruised the hell out of Lance’s nose!
QueenPigeon: Wanna go commit homicide?
KeeefyBoy: Fucking gladly
Dad: I need the teacher's name
McSexy: ...Hoffman
Dad: Thank you, Lance
Imahunk: Oooh, dad’s going to kick some ass
Imahunk: And oh my god, Lance’s nose
Princess: Is it really that bad?
McSexy: It’s not that bad
Imahunk: Oh my god, it’s fucking awful, don’t even try and lie to them
QueenPigeon: I’m coming over
Princess: Me too
Dad: I’ll be over after I talk to Hoffman and the principle
McSexy: Guys, it’s fine, honestly! It doesn’t even hurt anyone
QueenPigeon: I don’t care, this dickhead could have broken your nose, I’m coming over
McSexy: ...Fine
(What’s crackalackin? at 5:53am)
McSexy: Coffee
KeeefyBoy: No
McSexy: Coffee
Dad: No
QueenPigeon: Coffee
Princess: No
QueenPigeon: Coffee
Imahunk: Coffee
McSexy: Coffee
Dad: Y’all need jesus
(What’s crackalackin? at 9:30am)
McSexy: So, I just looked at our texts from last night and I never remember sending any of them...so, that’s fun
QueenPigeon: I’m pretty sure me, you, and Hunk all got possessed
Imahunk: By the coffee demon?
McSexy: By the coffee demon
Dad: What the hell is a coffee demon
McSexy: We have said too much
Imahunk: Evacuate
QueenPigeon: Run away
McSexy: Let us run and never look back
KeeefyBoy: Lance, I am literally right next to you, wtf are you talking about you literally aren’t running anywhere
KeeefyBoy: Nevermind he just got up and ran out of the apartment
Imahunk: Wait, you’re over? Why are you at our apartment?
KeeefyBoy: Lance is helping me with my spanish homework
KeeefyBoy: Sorry, WAS helping me with my spanish
KeeefyBoy: Yo, Lance, where the fuck did you go?
McSexy: I’m running far far away
KeeefyBoy: Blue is missing you
McSexy: Fuck, I’m on my way back, tell her I love her and I’ll be right there
Dad: You and that cat
Dad: I can’t even
Princess: Did no one notice the fact that Keith is over at Lance’s apartment helping him with Spanish on a Saturday morning at 9:30?
QueenPigeon: Hey! Allura’s right, why the fuck are you over so early?
KeeefyBoy: I spent the night?
QueenPigeon: WHAT?
McSexy: What’s the issue?
Imahunk: OH MY GOD
KeeefyBoy: ?
McSexy: ?
(Make Klance Happen at 9:38am)
Princess: KEITH SPENT THE NIGHT
Princess: I REPEAT
Princess: KEITH SPENT THE NIGHT OVER WITH LANCE
QueenPigeon: HUNK WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHEN THIS WAS GOING DOWN HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE KEITH WAS IN YOUR APARTMENT??????
Imahunk: I DIDNT GET HOME UNTIL AROUND THREE IN THE MORNING LAST NIGHT BECAUSE OF WORK
Dad: WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING
Princess: Because! Keith. Spent. The. Night. With. Lance. Alone. In. The. Apartment.
Dad: …
QueenPigeon: Dem boys were FUCKING
Dad: PIDGE
QueenPigeon: DAD
Dad: WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE
QueenPigeon: FIGHT ME
Imahunk: Can we get back to the matter at hand? Keith spent the night with Lance!
Princess: My poor heart can’t take this