Giovanni’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Giovanni grumbled angrily to himself as he sat down in the cold, plastic chair. The chairs were all children and Pokemon size, and it was quite humorous seeing all the grown men standing around him try their best to fit in them. (Giovanni was surprised that Archie’s sheer muscle mass alone didn’t just snap the chair already as he sat down in it.) Once he had found a comfortable position, Giovanni rubbed his head and took a look at his surroundings.
The white walls of the facility looked bleak and hospital like. Definitely not welcoming at all.
Perhaps as a group activity they could redecorate?
Giovanni made a disgusted face, he couldn’t believe he JUST thought that. Then again, It’s not his fault that Lusamine thought that white was just the most aesthetic color in the world.
As he looked around the handful of people sitting around him, Giovanni began to take mental note of things he had never noticed about the former team members.
No matter the fight they had moments before, Archie and Maxie ALWAYS sat right next to each other, always.
Perhaps they are closer than I originally thought. Giovanni thought to himself.
Next to Archie sat Guzma. He was the group leader for the day. As much as Giovanni hated to admit it, he quite liked the kid. Sure he was annoying most the time, especially spouting slang that made Giovanni feel older than Arceus himself, but he had a certain charm to him. He had a tendency to make the people around him smile. Even if it was just because the kid tripped over his own feet. Giovanni smirked to himself. No wonder Guzma and Archie were slowly starting to become friends. Archie seemed have the same affect on his grunts in the past conversations that he had recalled having with the pirate. Always blabbering about how much he missed his “fam” Matt and Shelly.
In a very weird way, Guzma reminded Giovanni of his past lover.
Ariana.
Arceus, Giovanni hadn’t thought about her in a long time. Every time he did he felt a twinge of guilt in his heart. She too, was the kind of woman to make everyone in the group smile. She was confident, generous, and a wonderful mother.
She was a better parent than he ever will be, that’s for sure.
Giovanni shook his head and continued to look around the room to distract him from his heartache. Next to Guzma was Faba, grumbling to himself about how today was just the worst. Sure it was Faba. Did YOU trip and fall over your Persian who was hidden beneath your dirty clothes and hit your head like I did this morning? Didn’t think so. Giovanni complained to himself. He really couldn’t stand the man sometimes.
Giovanni looked the other way to see who was sitting next to Maxie.
Cyrus.
He sat in the small chair with no trouble at all, his thin frame causing no strain to his seat whatsoever. His powder blue eyes looked on forward, not fixed upon anything at all. He looked like a statue that was sculpted by ancient Kalosians long ago.
Giovanni just couldn’t take his eyes off of him. There was something about him that just drew him in and wouldn’t let him go for all the pokédollars in the world.
Cyrus was a good member to the team, always doing what was told of him and always courteous to the others, no matter how much Giovanni could tell they got on his nerves. He knew that Cyrus didn’t show emotions on the surface, but if you were to peer in his eyes like Giovanni did, you would see them flash every once in a while. He knew there was still emotions in the man, bottled up and ready to just explode anytime, like putting a mint in a soda pop.
That was a bad analogy Giovanni.
Forcing himself to take his tawny eyes off of Cyrus, Giovanni shifted to see who was in the process of sitting next to Cyrus.
Lysandre had trouble sitting down in the small seat. His lanky appendages gave him the appearance of a baby Girafarig who was just brought into the world. Giovanni couldn’t help but notice that Lysandre had smiled at Cyrus. Not only THAT, but Cyrus had waved back at the Kalosian man. Were they friends? Giovanni couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy deep in his chest. Of COURSE they were friends. Their plans for the world were quite similar now that he had thought of it. They had both wanted to revamp the world to fit their desired image of it. Granted, their reasons for doing this were vastly different, but Giovanni guessed that they had found comfort in each other during their short time in Rainbow Rocket. Lysandre needed it after all. Giovanni could very vividly recall Lysandre bursting into tears after learning the news that the professor of the Kalos region, Augustine Sycamore, had “broken up with moi” and only minutes after that, burst into more tears after realizing that his crying had made his “48 pokédollar foundation run!” The man was a drama queen, but again, Giovanni had to admit he had style and at least cared about himself.
A rustle of clothing right next to him ripped Giovanni out of his ponderings.
Oh fuck. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK-
Ghetsis had taken the seat next to him. Out of ALL FUCKING PEOPLE IN THIS ARCEUS FORSAKEN CENTER.
Giovanni could feel his blood boiling. The man was about as annoying as they come. Giovanni could not STAND Ghetsis. Out of everyone in the Rainbow Rocket team, he was the absolute worst of them all. He would rather listen to Archie and Maxie bicker directly in his ears than listen to anything that came out of the green haired man’s mouth.
“Hey best friend~” Ghetsis sang to Giovanni.
“Don’t. Fucking. Talk to me.” Giovanni spat out.
“Arceus alright.” Ghetsis replied to Giovanni, “I just wanted to talk to you a bit before the meeting starts.”
“Don’t you have anything better to do than annoy me?” Giovanni replied back, bitter with annoyance.
“Don’t you have anything better to do than stare at spaceman over there?” Ghetsis replied smugly. “I could see you making googly eyes at him over a mile away.”
“How about you stop fucking creeping on me and go talk to your scientist buddy over there,” Giovanni said, pointing towards Colress who was writing something down on a clip board.
“We’re taking a break right now,” Ghetsis stated back, filing his nails. “It’s complicated between us you know.”
“Like that’s common knowledge,” Giovanni grumbled to himself.
“Is everyone here?” Colress shouted out to the crowd of grown men sitting in baby chairs.
“I counted, everyone’s here!” Guzma replied back.
“Yeah, I don’t trust your math skills enough to take your word on that,” replied the scientist.
Everyone chuckled a bit to that.
“That’s cold yo.”
“Alright Guzma you can start your sermon now,”
“Alright yo,” Guzma cleared his throat and began to speak.
“Now I think y’all know why y’all are here in this fine establishment. Aether president Lusamine was very generous in her offer and gave us this facility to help you guys get back to becoming the good people you once were!”
My Arceus, this kid sounded like his old pastor his mother forced him to talk to a long time ago.
“Now, in order to achieve this hefty goal of hers, Lusamine, Colress, and Wicke have developed a unique course for everyone!”
The crowd of villains all looked at each other, grimacing.
“Hey now don’t give me that look dawgs!” Guzma said, giving his best Rockruff eyes. “It’s all to help you guys! Don’tcha wanna become law-abiding citizens again?”
“Not really.” Ghetsis replied.
“Well the president is making you, so…”
“Anyways!” Colress interrupted, “These courses were all specifically designed for you all to work out your problems with yourself and others. The courses includes things such as therapy sessions, a science class, group activities like projects and crafts, and bonding experiences!“
The whole group was silent except for a small “Kill me,” that was uttered out of Cyrus.
Me too Cyrus, me too. Giovanni thought to himself.
Archie raised his hand. “Can this “group bonding experience” involve going to the beach?”
“Well, I guess it can…” Colress replied back.
“LET’S GOOOO!!!!!!” Archie yelled back, causing Maxie to throw a fit.
“The fucking OCEAN? Why the FUCK would we go there? Why not a cave to look for geodudes or somethin-“
“BECAUSE WE AS A GROUP NEED TO APPRECIATE THE OCEAN MORE!“
“YOUR OCEAN CAN KISS MY ASS ARCHIBA-“
After hearing enough from those two already, Guzma had to perform his famous “Guzma Intervention Stance” in order to separate the two before punches were thrown.
“Anyways…” Colress sighed, “Any concerns? Questions? We’ll get everything started soon if there’s no questions that need to be answered,”
“What the fuck do I have to go to a therapist for?” Lysandre politely asked. “For some pute to tell me I’m gay? I already know that information merci beaucoup.”
“No Lysandre, it’s actually because you tried to carry out a mass genocide of the entire world population. But go off,” Colress snapped back.
This issued a universal “OHHHH” from the group. Even Cyrus put his hand over his mouth, and Giovanni could even see a flash of surprise on his face before he quickly composed himself.
After the villainous group was done with their collective “OHHHH,” more questions were starting to be asked.
“Who’s the therapist here? They better be a licensed professional,” Faba asked, clearly already fed up with everyone in the group.
“You’ll have Ms. Wicke to thank for that!” Colress replied to Faba. “I’m sure you two know each other well enough.”
“I’d still like to see her credentials,” Faba mumbled to himself.
“Well you can ask her yourself next time you see her,” Colress replied back, annoyed by Faba’s constant complaining.
A flash of scarlet appeared on Faba’s cheeks. How the hell did Colress hear him?
Maxie decided his question needed answering. “Will this science class be biased towards the ocean?” He asked, ignoring the disgusted look Archie gave him in return.
“I can assure you that this science class will be no less biased towards the ocean than it is towards the landmasses Maxie,” Colress replied, “I should know, I’m the one teaching it!”
“Oh Groundon if you are down there-“ Maxie began praying to himself.
As Colress was answering Archie’s question of what the science class will be like, Giovanni couldn’t help but zone out a bit. He glanced over towards Cyrus and noticed him doing what looked like… comforting Lysandre?
It was the most awkward thing Giovanni had seen in a while, and he once walked in on Ghetsis sweet talking his pillow and pretending it was Colress.
Cyrus’s action could only be described as a robotic and somewhat forceful pat on Lysandre’s back. He didn’t think it was working, as Lysandre’s face was still as red as his beard.
While he was watching this, Giovanni again couldn’t help but feel the familiar twinge of jealousy in his chest again. Cyrus’s pats didn’t even look that comforting, (to be quite frank, they looked like they hurt) but goddammit did Giovanni want nothing more than to feel it.
Giovanni snapped back to reality as soon as he heard his name.
“Giovanni? Do you have any questions?” Colress asked him for what was probably the third time in a row now.
“U-Uh none that I can think of right now,” Giovanni responded. Out of the corner of his eye, Giovanni could spot the smug and snickering face of Ghetsis.
“Well if that’s all the questions that have been asked, I’d like to hand out the schedules that Miss Lusamine had made herself.”
Colress took a stack of papers from his clip board and went around the circle of chairs to pass them all out.
Giovanni was the first to receive his schedule and took a quick look at it.
Hwa-? Gambling addiction therapy? Discussion of money and its influences? Parenting 101?
This could not be real.
Giovanni looked up and took a quick glance to see all the other villains reactions to their schedules.
Archie and Maxie seemed alright with theirs. Both of them turned to look at each other, each one’s face seeming to say, “See you science class, bitch.”
Cyrus, as always, seemed to show nothing. His eyes darted across the paper as he read it. Giovanni was about to look over to Lysandre until he noticed Cyrus’s eyes widen and a flash of what could only be described as horror fell upon his gaunt face.
This obviously made Giovanni very nervous, mind racing to what Cyrus’s schedule even said.
What has this man been through? Giovanni pondered. He never wanted to see that expression on Cyrus’s face ever again.
Lysandre seemed to look mildly annoyed at his schedule and was about to crumple it up until he decided it would be better to just neatly fold it up and put it into his pocket until later.
Ghetsis was the most ridiculous out of everybody.
He decided to throw a TANTRUM.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?” Ghetsis demanded from Guzma. “I DON’T NEED TO DO THIS AT ALL!”
“Bruh I didn’t make these, I’m just a director, take it up to Miss Lusamine. Of course that’s only if you’re brave enough too,” Guzma smirked. “She said she ain’t changing these at all, and that y’all needed to complete EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.”
This sent Ghetsis into what could only be described as the same fit of rage a teenage boy would throw during an online match of Call of Duty.
Giovanni dreaded the next day.