Summer holidays
This time I had no chance to read as much as I could with only Hermione in the compartment. Twins taught us Exploding Snap, which was kind of fun – but I prefer muggle card games so I promised I would bring a deck of cards next school year. Hermione then said she could bring some board games because her family has an abundance of them at home (Twins found Ludo - Don't get angry funny and renamed it into Henry - Don't get angry. How original of them! That joke was already done by my siblings five years ago.).
We met the Weasleys first because they were waiting on the platform and not outside of it. Percy and Dickhead were already waiting with their parents, waiting for us – again, we waited for the worst and biggest crowd to get out. There was also their youngest sibling, Ginevra. „You must be Henry!” Arthur Weasley very quickly singled me out and went for a handshake – after a moment I did the normal thing and didn't just sneer at him. „Arthur Weasley, I'm happy to finally meet such a bright young man personally.”
„Nice to meet you too. Not often do I meet people who are so passionate about technology,” I tried to act nice so he would let me drive his car later in the summer. My friends look at me like they didn't know me and of course, Fred took my chin and started to move my head so he could see it in all its glory – George started to circle around me and poke me with an annoyingly sharp finger. „What the fuck you assholes!” I kicked Fred in the crotch and batted away George. One of them was on the ground in a blink of an eye – guess who?
„You were acting like a nice person,” Fred moaned from his embryo position. I kicked him again, this time in his thigh and with less strength put into it. Hermione giggled but helped him up.
„You were really acting like a completely different person,” she smiled at me and behind Fred so not to get hit by a chocolate frog wrapper. And the ginger was hit again! I almost fist-pumped in victory. Then I turned around on instinct and kicked the other one – he was trying to attack me from behind, so I had all the reasons to kick him, right?
„Stop it, boy,“ their mother finally spoke up, frowning.
„This?“ I raised my brow and kicked George in the knee. Fred got three hits, so he should too.
„Yes, that! And your language is atrocious, your mother should wash your mouth out with soap!“ Her shrieks were strong enough to make my ears hurt (thankfully not bleed) and to bring the attention of many parents to us.
„And your voice is so high pitched it should be marked as a weapon,“ I answered quickly and folded my arms on my chest. Twins warned me she was that type of person but forgot to tell me how loud she is. „Good thing I will be a host of your husband and children and not you, you fucking hag.“ For the first time in my life, I was glad Fridrich was always a proactive bully – he liked to practise his aim on me when he started to play football, later tennis and one time even darts (mum stopped that one very quickly) – so this training prepared me for dodging her spell. Kind of.
It hit some other kid – he started to foam up in the mouth and was spitting bubbles in no time. Before I could ask: „What the fuck?“ Twins grabbed me and my belongings, dragging me through the portal. „What was that?“
„I would guess a mouth washing with soap?“ Hermione answered me.
„Duh, but why?“
„I can say only one thing – fuck.“
„Glad she didn't do it in front of dad, he doesn't like when someone tries to discipline us physically.“
George put me down when I waved at my parents and Grangers, who were speaking like good friends. My siblings were nowhere in sight – which I'm thankful for (I hope twins won't like them more than myself).
„Hello,“ I said and took my suitcase from Fred.
„Hi, Harry,“ mum smiled and went for a hug – I tried to block her with the trunk but it didn't help too much.
„Get off me, woman.“
In my peripheral vision, I could see Grangers trying to kill their daughter by asphyxiation, not even her smile made it better. Masochist.
„You are Henry's friends?“ dad shook twins' hands separately.
„Forge and Gred Weasley,“ they grinned at him. He smiled too but also rolled his eyes. He knows their names, I wrote about them more than few times.
„Did Henry tell you the date?“
„Yes, Mr Bundy,“ answered George, much better at the ‚innocent angel face‘.
„Will you need to get picked up?“
„No, dad will apparate us.“
„Which means...?“
„It's like instant transportation.“
„Oh. Sure. Henry, you'll need to tell me more at home.“
„I'm going to miss you three,“ Hermione attacked me from the side when mother stepped to the side.
„Sure dad. See you in two weeks, Hermione!“ I tried to pry her off but then twins made it impossible – one on my other side and the other on my front. Kicking them in balls was too merciful of me. I should have completely cut them off. I almost managed to bite the body in front of me but Hermione grabbed my jaw and made it impossible to bite. So I stepped on her foot and then put all my weight into her – if there weren't two pairs of decently strong arms holding us, we would fall to the ground.
„You're surprisingly heavy for four twigs and slightly wider branch.“
„Shut the fuck up and let go of me.“
***
Hermione was right – embroidery course is the most popular with older women that don't like ‚crude little boys that just stopped holding their mother's skirt‘. But – and this one is important – they like young boys that can be better than a female in their craft (at least with only a week of practice) and don't bitch about any criticism. After all, I was never told I'm a bad student – just a bad person.
Everybody made fun of me when after a week I always came home with cookies and pink dots on my cheeks (who would guess that old wrinkly fingers that have often problems with shaking could be that strong?). In a moment of not paying attention, too focused on my embroidery of Hogwarts, I got a lipstick mark on my cheek – and I couldn't get it off. My mother needed to use her make-up remover to get me rid of it – I was on a verge of bleaching it or drowning myself in alcohol.
I was sitting in a chair with my legs crossed (I like calling it bastardised lotus position), wooden circle on my lap and eyes half opened in drowsiness.
„Forgot to go to sleep, old man?“ For some reason they found my personality funny, saying I'm similar to their old husbands – grumpy, crude and bitchy. I believe grumpy and bitchy is almost the same but I don't even try anymore.
„I was reading about car engines,“ I mumbled and finished another lit up window. I was learning on writing, geometrical shapes and later on linework flowers – but I wanted to try something more akin to painting so I chose a picture burned into my brain – even though I never found it as beautiful as my classmates. Dark castle on a navy blue background, small windows illuminating the surrounding air. With impressionistic approach it was possible, but still – it wasn't easy.
„Are you interested in cars?“
„I prefer motorcycles, but my friends' dad has a car and invited me to work on it later in the summer.“ I yawned and started to work on another window.
„That's nice of him, do your friends also enjoy motorcycles?“
„Never talked about it.“
„And what do they like?“ My exhaustion almost made me say the truth, that they like potions, charms and such – but I caught myself before I could say anything.
„They like chemistry, physics and anything that would help them prank people.“
„Oh! They must be fun to be around!“
„We wouldn't be friends if they weren't,“ I rolled my eyes and stabbed my finger. „Fuck.“
„Did you meet at school?“
„Yes.“
„Come on, work with us,“ Rose threw a cookie at me.
„What the fuck do you want to know?“ I moaned in despair and put it in my mouth, chewing as loudly as possible.
„Names, age... you know, so we know them more.“
„You sound like a perv,“ I mumbled around the chocolate chip cookie. So I told them – about Fred, George and Hermione. After that, I was forced to promise I would bring them when they are visiting. Fuuuuuuck.
***
Hermione lived in a house smaller than ours – which makes sense. It was still a nice building and their garden was charmingly wild – the grass was overgrown, flowerbeds filled not only with flowers but also weeds. We don't have too much grass in front of our house – our driveway needs to be big because we don't have a garage.
I ringed the bell and waited with dad close behind me. „Be nice to Grangers, after all, they offered their house to you, little hellion.“
„I'm an angel in human form,“ I sassed back sharply. He pinched my arm, bared to the summer sun.
„And I'm a frail flower, brat.“
„What you raised...“ Now I needed to avoid a weak slap across the head – thankfully Hermione opened the door at that moment and I could duck behind her. „Hello Hermione.“
„Hello Henry, Mr Bundy. You are here sooner than expected.“
„I'd rather be everywhere too soon rather than too late,“ he smiled down at her and gave me my magical backpack I acquired in Diagon Alley. I wanted to carry it myself, it's enchanted to be feather-light even though I have too many books in it (undetectable extension charm is the weirdest but the most useful spell I ever heard of – even though I hate how physics are meaningless in the world of magic) but dad took it from beneath my hands.
„It's a nice philosophy.“
„It's survival thing – I missed the birth of my oldest son and my wife told me she would gut me if I ever missed anything important again – and Henry's first sleepover with his g-“
I kicked him in the shin when he tried to call her my girlfriend – Hermione tried to stifle her laugh. „Are your parents at home?“
„No, they are working, but there is a lunch prepared for us.“
„Don't let him cook,“ dad told her.
„You mean don't let him go near a burner?“
„You know very well what I mean young man.“
„It was only one time – and when I was only seven so I think you are overprotective of that fucking kitchen.“
„You almost burned the whole house down.“
„Go fuck yourself in the fucking car old man.“ I narrowed my eyes, he did the same for a moment before he grinned widely and reached behind Hermione. It was easy for him to grab me, she could never hide me fully - I'm maybe thinner but also a head taller. That and she moved to a side when he pulled me into a hug.
„Don't do anything lethal or harmful and don't make me grandchildren.“
„My body is unable to make fertile sperm right now, idiot.“ I pinched his side as hard as I could but he only messed up my hair.
„Be a good boy, Harry.“
„Go die in a car accident, Gregor.“
„Love you too.“
„Go fuck yourself.“
Then he left after he squeezed the air out of me and messed up my already messed up hair for the last time. I quickly smoothed my fringe so my scar is not showing before I turned around to face Hermione. „What are we going to do today?“ I picked up my bag and threw it on my back.
„Dad offered to drive us to town tomorrow, but today we can do something around here. But now - let's put that bag away.“
„Have you finished your homework?“
„Yeah, why?“
„Twins sent their stupider than owl-stupid fucking owl with questions about some things yesterday.“
„Most people finish summer homework the last week of the summer holiday.“
„Really?“
„Have you never talked with your classmates?“
„Not really, they thought they were too old for us to be friends.“
She was silent for a moment. „I always forget you were preparing for university.“
„People usually do.“
„Did you drop any just to go to Hogwarts?“
„Scholarship in Oxford, but after Hogwarts, I can always get it again. Hermione, why is your room pink?“ I stopped in the doorframe, looking at the surprisingly girly room – plushies on the bed, pictures in flowery frames and a shelf filled with fucking Disney movie CDs.
„I like pink?“ she rolled her eyes. „Are you aware that I am a girl?“
„It's somewhere in my knowledge but it was never something I really thought about,“ I said ironically. „You just never struck me as a girly girl – I expected only the bookcase bursting in seams.“
„So your room is not blue or green?“ she jumped up on her bed with a grin.
„Used to be white but there is a stain when I threw my tea on it and few burn-marks too... and last summer I started to draw on it with a marker in a sleepy daze...“ She started to laugh. „Insomnia is no joke!“
„I bet it's your fault you have it.“
„Yes, but still – not funny.“ She threw a pillow at me – and I might be taller and far more experienced in pillow-fights, but she won and I gained a lot more bruises (fucking hard plastic eyes on plushies).
After a great visit to the museum where I embarrassed the workers there (stupid people with lines learned but no understanding), we spent three days absorbing vitamin D with books on our laps. The sun gave Hermione some freckles, so she finally wasn't the only one in our group without them.
Because Grangers were not willing to let twins sleep on the floor like I was, they visited only for one day – we went to the playground because they've never been to one.
„What do you do with these?“ Fred kicked one swing.
„You sit on them and swing,“ I caught it and started to show him with a face that told him exactly what I think.
„You couldn't scream stupid louder,“ he rolled his eyes with a smile and sat on the other one. We watched in silence – and second-hand embarrassment – Hermione and George who were trying to hit the basketball hoop. They were missing spectacularly.
Then a stone hit me in the back of my head – I turned around, looking into small blue eyes of a pink beachball. I meant pig in a wig. No, I meant a fat boy! „What the fuck you fucking dimwit?“ I picked it up and threw it. My athleticism showed when it didn't hit him.
„Dad always tells me that your kind needs to get burned at stake,“ he made a disgusting face at us – I think it was a smile? Fred hit him with a stone in the middle of his forehead.
„Good shot,“ I high-fived him enthusiastically and came closer to get a better shot at him.
„Mummy!“ I managed to hit his wobbly ass, a good big target.
„Hey! That's not fair! Don't move!“ I yelled and before he knew what was happening, we were sniping him while running after him with evil laughter on our lips. We haven't stopped even when a horse-like woman shrieked like a banshee. We did stop when she was close enough to understand her yelling.
„He started it,“ I shrugged and hid a prepared stone in my pocket.
„My Dudders would never do such a nasty thing!“ she screeched, almost as loudly as Mrs Weasley.
„Couldn't do worse than the one who named him,“ Fred mumbled silently.
„Fucking right,“ I snickered.“
„Where are your parents!“
„Few kilometres away.“
„Depends on how deep you wanna go,“ I talked over Freds more reasonable answer.
We were staring at each other – she seems... familiar. „Say sorry and we can forget it,“ she lost our staring contest.
„Sorry, piggy.“
„Sorry, Duddy.“ I'm getting hang of this talking at the same moment – I'm excited for the day we will finish each other's sentences, it will fuck people up even more than if only twins do it. Hermione joining would make it even more fun! Four-way sentences sound like a proper mind-fuck.
She wasn't happy with us but after a long look, she went away.
[What Henry didn't know, was that he just met his aunt and cousin – and Petunia recognised him thanks to his wind-swept hair showing his iconic scar and how similar he was to her sister. Of course, she couldn't say she was a hundred percent sure... but she was pretty sure.
And she was never happier she gave him up for adoption – that hellion seemed like a job and a half (and potentially a murder charge for Vernon).]
***
The first week in August meant it was my turn to host a week-long sleepover. Dad prepared a big family tent for us in the grassy garden, near my patch of flowers. I believe some motherfucker tried to stomp them to death but after I managed to make a small rune-based barrier that gives intruders electrical shocks, my potion ingredients had no problem with flourishing. I suspected Elizabeth so I put all her underwear on our fence so everybody could see it.
We told Hermione's parents she would sleep in the same room as my sisters but we lied like professionals. Hermione would give us that look if we made her sleep in the same room as my sisters. Doesn't want to be left out.
Twins arrived with a loud pop near the tent, their father holding their shoulders when they lost their footing. Usually pale twins looked slightly green, which made me snicker and wish to learn it sooner than legal. „Hi,“ I grinned and tried to trip their weak legs when Arthur let go of them. I succeeded on both fronts! „When are you going to pick them up, Mr Weasley?“
„Around three p.m., so they don't throw up on the way back.“ I could see a devious smirk on his wrinkly face – I should have known that twins couldn't inherit their coolness from their fucking mother. „Nice to see you, Henry. I'm excited for your help with the car.“
„I read all the books about cars my brother has so I think I could technically help you with anything.“
„That's great news – but I would also like it if you helped me with some muggle inventions. Like what is the use for a rubber duck?“
„You bathe with it. It's a toy.“ I deadpanned.
„That's it?“
„Yeah. It's fucking stupid – like children who like to play with it. Boats are far better.“
„Thanks for the help – see you all on Friday!“
„Bye, dad!“
„Bye!“ I gave him a small wave with the hand not buried inside my pocket. „So, are you hungry? Mother made us some sandwiches for a snack.“
„Sure!“
„When Hermione arrives?“
„In an hour or so – why? Do you want to surprise her?“ Then we prepared a quick meal that would turn her boring brown hair into a neon green masterpiece. We ate our ham sandwiches in few bites and kept hers on a plate. She would for sure enjoy it, but Fridrich got to it when we were welcoming her. I must admit, it was even better than pranking Hermione.
„You are a bunch of assholes,“ she giggled when we told her how my brother fucked up our plans. „Now I will never trust you with handling my food!“
„And drinks?“
„That too!“
„Does that mean we can have all the food?“
„And you will stop stealing my tea?“
„Henry, I thought you enjoyed my compliments!“ she batted her eyelashes too quickly to be natural.
„I will poison it next time, bitch.“
„You said that last time and it was even better. You need to buy me that tea for Chrismas. I loved it.“
„I will poison it.“
That day we ended up in my room where they were looking through my experiments. Hermione hated my mess and kicked some of it under my bed so she could get to my try on Veritaserum. I wanted to make it less potent, make it much more useful in a normal setting. And most importantly, I wanted to make it work on muggles. Dad would find it useful if he could make people confess and tell only the truth. The biggest downside of the typical Veritaserum is that it needs magic to work, so I was experimenting with better sources of energy. It worked on me so I did make a truth potion but it still didn't work on Marie. It needs more work.
Another one was a joined project with twins – they managed to make a potion that would turn people into canaries but I wanted to turn people into toads. I should finish it in three days, toad skin usually takes two days to dissolve perfectly in substances containing alkaline liquids.
„Did you work on anything?“ I aked them from my hardly used bed.
„On the canary candy and we finished our fever-inducing chocolate!“
„I started to learn runes from your notes and managed to make a barricade on my trunk. It's harder than you make it sound.“
„He does that with everything, Hermione.“
„We would know-“
„-after all, you made him tutor us before the exams.“ I feel a killing intent in the air...
„And did it pay off?“ she raised her eyebrows. Both of them turned red, but not in anger.
„Yeah...“
„Mum even though we cheated...“
„So how good? I got all Outstandings, bar DADA and Potions. I think my potion was too bright to pass as outstanding.“
„We got E's and O's in everything – almost fifty-fifty. How about you, Henry?“
„Outstanding from top to bottom of that list. I believe Flitwick tried to fuck me up on the practical task but it was easy to fuck HIM up. McGonagall and Snape even gave me Above Outstanding.“
„Teacher's pet.“
„Just Above Charming!“ I felt that their laugh was too sarcastic – at least for my ears (and even though they would swear I was pouting, I will never acknowledge that).
We discussed runes for two hours after they calmed down. Twins were good with the practical part, Hermione knew them by heart and I was as always the only one who knew how to blow up the room. Doesn't sound important out of context but my mother ended that conversation when we started to heatedly argue if Egyptian or Viking runes are better for bulldozing a building. She stuffed us with ice cream and we entered a sugar coma.
„Henry? Will you help me with my chemistry homework?“ Ludvik burst into my room with a notebook and textbook under the arm. I raised my head from the floor with sleepy eyes. When did I fall asleep? Probably before everyone decided that I am a good pillow. I will never eat chocolate ice cream again...
„What is it?“
„Creating nomenclature of salts.“
„That's not primary school curriculum,“ Hermione opened one eye, looking at me from my shoulder. The moment I fully wake up, I will kill them.
„I attend summer classes in chemistry and physics – our school gives this opportunity to everyone!“ His voice got squeakier and louder, which woke up Fred. George would sleep through the apocalypse. „Henry went there too.“
„Gimme, and tell me what you don't understand.“
„I always mess up the counting. Especially in the complex ones.“ How I ended up teaching twins and Hermione I have no idea but I managed to only yell five times when they began to try and make the names themselves. One would think Hermione would know at least the basic things but her school only lightly touched the theory with a ten meters long stick.
„Now, sulphuric acid is H2SO4 so you have two helium, four oxygen molecules times two because of the oxidation number which means you count with the number EIGHT, and eight minus two is what?“
„Six.“
„Which means?“
„The oxidation number of sulphur is six.“
„Because in the formula is only one molecule, right?“
„Yes. Goodness gracious, I will kill you all. So, if you use this logic, how would you write the formula for sodium sulfate which is derived from that acid?“
„You get rid of the H, you add sodium,“ Ludvik mumbled, writing slowly, waiting for a snort or growl or pinch. „Does Na have the same oxidation number as H?“
„Where is it in the periodic table?“
Fred found it before anyone could answer. „In the first column. So it has only one oxidation number possible, right? So it should be Na2SO4!“
„Hey! It's my homework, I should say the result!“
„But I'm quicker, shorty.“
„I'm not short! I'm the tallest in my class!“
„In comparison to me-“
„You are four years-“
„KIDS! DINNER!“
„You inherited your voice from your mother,“ Hermione put a pinkie in her ear to clear it out.
„If you say so,“ I shrugged and threw a fist into the air above my shoulder which George was trying to use as a cane. It landed into his chest.
„You motherfucker,“ he wheezed and backed up. My mother selected that moment to look into my room.
„Wait, I always wanted to say this.“ I stopped her and looked at the ginger. „Language young man!“
***
George always believed that the worst roommate would be Ron with his loud snoring and tendency to fart in his sleep. And he saw Henry sleep before, so he knew the skinny boy was as silent as death. It was a common sight to see him sleep on their couch, long limbs stretched and chin slightly raised into the air, glasses askew.
But Henry who can't fall asleep and doesn't understand that other people need to is a different thing and he starts to get the picture why Ravenclaws hate the smart boy. Hermione was obviously used to this and was capable of tuning him out. Fred tried his hardest to keep a conversation and his brother was partially sleeping on his bony shoulder.
All this was the main reason why nobody in the tent wanted to go out and eat breakfast with the rest of the Bundys. Henry saved them some sandwiches but before twins woke up, he ate all the bacon and Hermione breathed in the rest of the eggs. „Your bad you can't wake up in a normal hour,“ she stuck her tongue out.
„You are not the one who tried to keep up with insomniac there.“
„I never said you need to!“ Henry tried to act innocent for zero point one seconds and failed like usually.
„Is anything on our timetable?“ Fred asked after finishing his third sandwich.
„Not really. Do you want to do something particular?“
„Is here a playground like where Hermione lives? I want to perfect my throwing skills.“
„Sure, go to the front, I will steal a ball from Fridrich.“ With that, the genius left his friends who went lazily to the meeting place. Hermione was hanging on twins' elbows and was telling them about how torturous were first two nights with Henry in her room when they stopped with eyes on top of their heads. Henry's older sister was sunning herself, hidden from the public eye by a hedge fence. Behind the house was a big shadow in that time of morning, so her tanning place was not that surprising – but her teenage body in a tiny bikini was. Waves of blond hair partially shading her pretty face only added to the redness in twins' faces.
„Oh! You're finally up!“ she smiled at them kindly. „Did Henry annoy you the whole night? You know you could sleep elsewhere?“ She leaned forward, looking at the ginger brothers with a small blush.
‚How can my lame brother find such pretty boys and become their friend? They are so out of his league,‘ she thought with jealousy. She might love her younger brother, but only to a point.
„Marie, what-“
„You look like a fucking whore. And you three, pull up your jaws! It's my sister you perverts!“ At that moment, Henry looked like his mother even though they weren't blood-related. They had the same disappointed and at the same time angry look, hands-on-hips (in one instance visible ones and in the other not at all) and posture straight as a ruler.
„Don't call your sister whore, Henry. But I do agree – we told you not to wear that swim-wear, it's too small for you.“
„I didn't want tan lines!“
„Liar.“ The chair Marie was lounging on snaped in more places than natural. The thought: ‚You just want to steal my friends,‘ never came out of his lips, because Henry would never admit that.
***
„They are really pretty. Like, all of them.“
„Are trying to tell us something, Hermione?“ George grinned and wiggled his eyebrow. The bushy-haired girl only rolled her eyes.
„No. But look at his mum and siblings – blue-eyed, blond and conventionally very pretty. Henry looks nothing like them.“
„He looks like his father.“
„Not fully...“
„Mum always tells us we look like her brothers and her dad, so maybe he just got his looks from his grandparents.“
„But from where would he get the green in his eyes? Have you never noticed how bright it gets when he uses magic or get excited?“
„You can't miss that.“ Fred snorted.
„I read into it and green is the weakest gene from all eye-colours. Also his magic – I believe that Henry himself told me about how there is a fifty percent chance that if there is one muggle-born child in the family with four children, there will be at least another one. And he's the only wizard in his family of five. He wouldn't say that if he knew it wasn't a fact.“
„But how can we know for sure?“
„I believe there must be some potion that can tell us his heritage, like a blood test or something. But I doubt we could lie well enough that he wouldn't know about our plan and we can't ask professor Snape.“
„We could just ask him,“ Fred intervened into their scheming with a bored look on his freckly face. „I doubt he doesn't know or that he cares. As long as he calls them family, they are family. Blood or not.“
They knew where to find Henry – he was working on one of his potions, so they had time to strategize how to take it lightly (even though Fred told his two friends he doubted Henry would be happy with their approach). When the genius emerged from his room in the oversized labcoat and colourful hands stained with potion ingredients they dragged him into their tent and tried to gently ask him if he was adopted. The keyword is trying and after a lot of stuttering Fred lived to his reputation as a snake in lions skin and aked harshly: „Are you blood-related to your parents and siblings?“
„No, I was adopted when I was a little over one year old.“ Well, that was easier then either of them expected. Even Fred thought he would be surprised that they thought of that, but no. „Both of my parents were wizards, so I inherited magic from them.“
„Do you know their names? Maybe we know some family?“
„James and Lily Potter.“ Again, he had a perfect poker-face, a stark contrast to them.
„Are you fucking-“
„-kidding me?“
„How can you say it so-“
„-casually?!“
„You act like it changes everything.“
„You are-“ that one was George.
„-mothefucking-“ continued Fred.
„Harry Potter!“ Hermione shrieked and Henry only rolled his eyes.
„You're fucking weird.“