Welcome to The Office! Pay no Attention to the Board (Sebastian's first day at the office part 2)
10:00
Thank goodness for Klavier’s power to hijack any conversation and make it about music.
“Achtung, Nahyuta! Now my lyrics are all off! Wrong! They do not fit into the syllabic structure anyone!” He cried in utter distress.
“Um, excuse me, but what lyrics?” Asked Sebastian. Miles hoped that the sudden onslaught of random questions and statements didn’t overwhelm the prosecutor who literally just got here.
“Lyrics to a song I’m working on, of course. I’m hoping to either form a new band or strike out alone. Oh,” Klavier’s head shot up with a realization, causing Sebastian to jump backwards, “I forgot to introduce myself! As did everyone else I suppose.” Klavier gave a small wave.
“My name is Klavier Gavin. Sharp-eyed prosecutor by daytime, famous rock-star by nighttime. But enough about me!” Klavier gestured to a circle of chairs the rest of the group had set up, “How about we all learn more about you!”
Simon sighed, “Are we really going to play icebreakers? We are supposed to be doing work today, not that I don’t also want to learn more about the new prosecutor.” He turned to face Sebastian, “Edgeworth-dono speaks highly of you.”
“I believe that some get-to-know-you activities are in order. Though we should likely all participate, we wouldn’t want to make the new guy feel singled out.” Nahyuta stated.
Franziska sat down in one of the chairs and tapped one next to her, “Sebastian, come sit here. Trust me, you don’t want to wind up between Simon and Klavier if we play One-Word-Game.”
Klavier turned to the only woman in the office, “Fraulein-ziska, how do you know our greenhorn?”
“First of all, if you call me Fraulein-ziska again I will put my whip to good use. Second of all, I met him while on an investigation. That is all you need to know.”
“Oh, so you have an advantage in these games, ja? Then if you win, which you will not, you will admit that your victory was due to an unfair advantage?”
Miles needed to interrupt this before it went too far. “How about we start off with something simple? I was thinking Would you Rather or-”
Simon interrupted Miles, “I say that we conduct a game of Never have I Ever.”
Oh no. This one never ends well. But everyone seemed to nod in agreement, so it was going to happen regardless of what Miles wanted.
He let out a quiet groan before responding, “Alright Simon. But Klavier cannot sit next to Nahyuta this time.”
“Do not blame me for Herr Monk’s penchant for cheating at every possible game.”
Nahyuta tightened their fists, “Coming out to you in the middle of a game of Two Truths and a Lie is not cheating, it’s called strategy. You’re just upset that you didn’t come up with it first.”
“I’m only ‘upset’ by your lack of creativity in your-”
“And with that, I say we start the icebreaker!” Franziska all but forced herself between the two prosecutors, “But first, we need to bring in the board.” She walked down the hall and entered a storage room.
We’re doomed. Utterly doomed.
11:00
Franziska eventually emerged from the room, dragging a whiteboard alongside her. On it was written everyone’s names with a series of tallies next to them. Adding them up, Miles noted everyone’s current number.
Miles Edgeworth: 7
Franziska VonKarma: 11
Klavier Gavin: 10
Simon Blackquill: 10
Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: 9
She added a new name alongside a new series of tallies.
Sebastian Debeste: 12
“Hey, why does the greenhorn get a headstart?” Simon glared at the board. “Yeah, I’m confused too. Mr. Edgeworth, what are these weird marks for?” Asked Sebastian.
“Ach, don’t worry about it,” Klavier threw his arm around Sebastian’s shoulder, “You’re already ahead, so there’s no need to really care about your number yet. Besides, we typically give the greenhorns a grace period. You’ll be fine, ja?”
Sebastian glanced over at the prosecutor who was suddenly much closer than he was expecting. Miles got the sense that he was already uncomfortable, his face was tomato red and he fidgeted with his baton.
“Now that we have the board out, I believe it’s time to begin the ice breaker.” Nahyuta chimed in, taking their usual seat next to Blackquill. Klavier sat between Sebastian and Nahyuta, clearly eager to begin the game. Miles sighed and took his seat between Blackquill and Franziska. Everyone put up five fingers and glared at the person opposite to them, as if ready to throttle someone at any given moment.
‘Here’s hoping this goes well enough. I just hope that Simon doesn’t begin with his usual state-’
“Never have I ever not been in a detention cell for a crime I confessed to.”
And thus the bloodbath began.
“We cannot keep letting this fool get away with this!” Franziska yelled as she put down a finger. Klavier also grumbled as his thumb retreated to the palm of his hand. Nahyuta similarly rolled their eyes as their finger disappeared.
Sebastian looked confused for a moment, and Miles could understand why. This was a prosecutor's office after all. Having two people who have been to jail at some point acting as servants of the law might be seen as a bad thing without context.
But then Klavier tapped his seat-neighbor’s shoulder and Sebastian slowly put his finger down. Miles realized that Sebastian simply didn’t understand the rules of the game.
Nahyuta realized it was their turn, checked the tallies, and smirked, “Never have I ever had female-presenting nipples.”
“THAT WAS TARGETED!” Klavier yelled at Nahyuta despite being only a foot away
.
“And Simon’s wasn’t? I consider hypocrisy a sin, Klavier. This is simply a strategy.”
“Oh screw you Nahyuta, I thought we had trans solidarity? I thought our desires to win would never surpass it?” Klavier cried out with all of his usual melodrama. Nevertheless, he put his finger down.
Franziska also put her finger down, begrudgingly. “Now you understand, Klavier. The solidarity we have is true, but it can easily be overridden for a win in Never Have I Ever.”
“So are you going to betray me too?”
“I don’t plan on it, but if the opportunity arises I won’t hesitate to seize it. Only a fool would not.”
“Fine then! If this is how we’re playing, then this is how we’re playing.” Klavier’s head shot up, as if ready to see everyone’s reactions. ‘This cannot be good.’ thought Miles.
“Never have I ever had my daddy get arrested!”
Oh no.
“KLAVIER GAVIN I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!” Yelled Franziska as she launched herself at the younger attorney.
“I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN LOSE!”
“Ok, but do I count?” Asked Nahyuta, clearly feeling conflicted, “My father was not evil, but he was technically a criminal at the time.”
“Was he arrested? If so, he counts.”
In the end, the only two people who hadn’t put their finger down after all of the haggling (Did Manfred count as Miles’s father? Did it count as an arrest if the law was unjust and later overturned? Did confiscating Simon’s anime collection and then being forced to sleep on the couch by his wife count as an ‘at home arrest’? No it did not, it was a ridiculous question) were Simon and Klavier himself.
“Really? Even the new guy?” Said Nahyuta, clearly getting curious.
“Um, yeah. My dad is sort of a terrible person.” Sebastian looked down and tried to avoid eye contact.
“Join the club Sebastian,” Franziska fiddled with her whip, “Prosecutors and parents who are criminals go hand in hand at this rate.”
Simon smirked to himself, “I should ask Cykes-dono to conduct a study on this. Do criminal parents have a greater chance of producing prosecutors than good parents?”
“Well I think that science is stupid and the fact that we’re talking about science is boring, so let’s have Herr Fluffy ask the next question.”
Sebastian looked around and eventually noticed everyone sitting on the edge of their seats, waiting for his question. “Oh, is Herr Fluffy me? Why?”
Klavier laughed, “Because your hair is so fluffy! It’s adorable.” Sebastian’s face flushed at that comment.
“Er...um...ah,” the new prosecutor stammerd before blurting out “NEVER HAVE I EVER KISSED A BOY!”
Everyone remained silent for a beat.
Then, chaos.