What if Pepper likes the idea of watching Tony blow a guy and she has a signal to let Tony know who her eye is on (omg Phil)?
"Pepper, no."
"Why not?" She smiles sweetly at him.
"The guy just took a—a stab to the heart for the team! Do you really think he'd want a 'welcome back' gift of a—? No, you're absolutely right, that is pretty brilliant. Could I get one, too?"
"Don't push your luck, Tony."
"What if he says no?"
She lifts a shoulder. "I'll find someone else. Now go ask him."
They walk into Coulson's office, somehow not surprised to see him sitting at his desk, doing paperwork. Tony clears his throat, and Pepper shuts the door. "Coulson! Phil. Good to see you back at work. Weren't you supposed to be taking some time off?"
Coulson sets his pen down and looks up at them. "If some of you would ever be bothered to fill out your incident reports correctly, I might be taking some time off."
"That is a lie. I'm not sure you even know what 'time off' is."
"Tony!"
"Sorry, Pepper." He turns back to Coulson. "So, as I was saying. We thought we'd offer you congratulatory sex, since you went up against Loki and didn't die."
"I'm not cleared for strenuous activity, Stark."
"Dude, it's not strenuous activity. Pepper just likes to watch while I... you know."
Coulson just raises an eyebrow, and waits a long moment before answering. "Well, I suppose I could do some of these reports on the couch."