Dance with her ghosts

"On the eighth day of the first moon of 128 d.C, King Viserys I dawned dead in his bed, Gerardys, the Maester of Small Council of the time, would claim the King died peacefully while sleeping, no pain, just death, like a calming.

For some, it was a hard blow, King Viserys, the Pacifier, was a weak man, gifted of little will, the desires of his subjects were answered with little resistance, for others, an opportunity to free the Capital of the Vibors of the Court, because Princess Rhaenyra, had iron hands and ruled with them, as strong as the fire of Balerion, the Princess didn't bow to the sharpest of languages.

- Maester Uller in “Rhaenyra Targaryen I, the Iron Fist published in 412 D. C

Viserys was a man with many debts.

He had stolen the Iron Throne of Rhaenys without even thinking about the consequences, he had his right after all, he had despised Daemon, the brother who gathered an army to ensure the Thron in his name, he had taken over the Disastrous decisions that didn't bring benefit to anyone, he had avoided every conflict in his government because he was afraid of the War.

He had cut Aemma out out like a pig for the slaughter to get an heir that already existed, he had despised his daughter when she needed support and had married the only source of the court that Amma had because she was selfish, jealous and bitter and there was a part of him that would never forgive Amma for loving someone else.

Viserys had had three children with Alicent to erase the male voice she left in Aemma and none of them were good enough to erase the memory of Aemma's smile when she was near Alicent.

He had despised the Velaryons, when he married Alicent disregarding Laena, he had insulted Rhaenyra when he let her choose her own husband and then promised her to Laenor Velaryon in a pathetic attempt to fix the breach between his Houses and much more despic than he could count.

He promised Lady Hand's position to Rhaenyra and then he didn't give because Rhaenyra deserved to be happy away from court before he was surrounded by vipers, he promised to find Lord Otto's killer and never found it.

The weight of time makes your debts even bigger and harder to be paid.

In some moments, Viserys feels that the days don't pass, in others, that days pass very fast, he blinks and his son, Aegon, the son who should be from Aemma, is a child in the mother's skirts again, so he blinks again and Aegon is a copier of Rhaenyra at Small Council, Viserys blinks again and he has two other children who don't remember the name.

Viserys blinks and Rhaenyra is a small girl who cries for Aemma and burns her mother's body, he blinks again and she's Lady Hand, making decisions and right about things Viserys is too tired to care about.

He doesn't know when the days began to get shorter and the hardest life, it could have been when Otto died and Viserys saw himself without anyone to advise him, it could be when he called Lord Ormund Hightower to take over the place of the King's advisor, but was quickly denied, Otto's death was fresh in everyone's mind and no one wanted to follow the same path as Lord Hightower.

Time passes and Viserys is getting tireder and tired, he's lost in time, of three grandchildren, Viserys passes nine born and one unborn, he doesn't know how it happened, only children have been emerging and he can't remember the name of all, he knows there's a Visenya and a Jaehaerys, maybe a Baelon, the others he doesn't know, but he knows there are.

Time passes and Viserys has two fingers less, then one arm less, then one less ear missing and teeth missing and he hears the few whispers that are high enough for the King to hear, he's old, decrepit and the gods are retributing his evil with a disease that even the best of the Maesters can cure.

 If Viserys could be young again, he would have returned to the day of the Great Council and given up the dispute, he would have left the Thron to Rhaenys and traveled by free cities with Aemma and they would have been happy, he would have let Lady Alicent be a distant memory of a woman Aemma never met, never loved and never wanted.

They would have been happy with Rhaenyra and Aemma would be alive because there would be no heir to the Free Cities to wait, they could even find Aunt Saera and build a life in a small house just the three, he, Amma and Rhaenyra, there would be no weight of the crown or the heiros or the thousand and a dispute that Viserys would have to solve, he would be happy in a way that never been with the Iron Throne.

After all, marrying Lady Alicent in Aemma's memory had not been a good idea and the days of happiness were few and scattered.

Lately, Viserys begged for these days of happiness, his daughter was very busy, his brother more still, his wife had been friendly in the first years of marriage, but with every debt Viserys accumulated, Alicent looked at him as if he was a kitchen mouse and not the King.

She hated him with an insistent fervor that Viserys didn't understand where he came from.

Viserys knew he had made mistakes, but not enough for Alicent to hate him.

It was difficult to protect himself from the hate of a woman who should be loyal, obedient and submissive to him, that's why Viserys cling to the moments of happiness that he could, he couldn't make the Old Valyria model and no longer could walk with his children, but he could have dinner with them.

— A toast. — Viserys raises the cup, even though his good arm hurts, his family follows him, their cups as high as they can be. — My only daughter and heir, Princess Rhaenyra, to her strong sons and the Targaryen dynasty.

Rhaenyra smiles, but it doesn't seem very strong, nor very happy, it's as if she's painfully sad, Daemon seems resigned and Alicent seems positively furious, his eyes shine in fury and Viserys feel that he did something wrong, but he doesn't know what, he never knows with Alicent.

— A toast. — Alicent says, sounding suitably cheerful. — To a new era, to new Targaryens and to new beginnings. — Daemon looks amused, a little shocked, a little hurt, sad, maybe, Viserys doesn't know, in recent years, he can no longer read his brother like he did when they were children.

If Viserys were a smarter, younger man and more aware of the torment of his words, he would have heard the queen's words for what they were, a clear threat to the King for his unnoticed insult.

But Viserys was known to be peaceful, there was no threat that could hit him in the position in which he was, the King was, after all, the most protected man in the kingdom, and yet, no one thought of protecting the King of the Queen.

All Viserys had heard was a sincere toast to the new baby that Rhaenyra was carrying, not a threat, it was joy, joy and contentment for a new life.

It was his mistake, Viserys was a weak King who would be remembered by history as a man who liked wines, tournaments and his heiress, a weaker King, surrounded by bloodshed, a King who was controlled by the Queen and whose all heirs after him would be recalled as better Kings.

But that, ah, that didn't matter to Viserys now, not when his daughter was pregnant with another grandson, his wife laughed delightfully and his brother seemed carelessly happy, his grandchildren were all together, in childish whispers and childhood promises, nothing could be better.

When Viserys lies in bed all he sees is Daemon's happy face, Rhaenyra's loud laugh and his family's good mood, his memories are sweet, full of laughter and friendly conversations and it's nice to have such good memories of his family

Hours later, at wolf time, Viserys Targaryen is awakened by his wife.

She doesn't enter through the door, of course not, if a door was closed to Alicent Hightower she would climb the nearest window and enter anyway, that's what made Viserys like her, Alicent was sincere, sweet, a little rude, motivated enough to face Vhagar if that made her reach a goal.

Still, determination does not explain why Alicent is here, especially now, in a late hour, alone, unaccompanied, with a dark cap covering her red hair, Alicent is sitting in her bed, close and far at the same time.

— Alicent, has anything happened? — Is it Rhaenyra? — he can't help but ask, every time Rhainyra's pregnancy is a joy and a horror, he can never forget Aemma's face begging for her life, her screams of terror, the blood, so much blood, gods, so much blood.

— No. — Alicent answers, and Viserys becomes more confused, because Alicent was here then? The last time Viserys asked Alicent to come to his room, she looked at him with so much scorn that Visery felt worn out of shame. — I came to kill you, Viserys. —  Alicent replied, as quietly as the day she married Visery, as if everything was a simple fact of life, the sun was rising in the east, the Stark were in the north, Alicent Hightower was going to kill the King.

— What? — he can barely ask, his voice louder than a whisper, his blood is pulsating so strongly in his veins that his sight seems to tremble when his heart beats.

— You're rotten, Viserys, don't be deaf, do not be an idiot. — Alicent replies, as sharp as the dandelion she wore under her skirt.

— You are becoming more and more cruel every day, wife. — Viserys tells her, sitting better in bed and shaking when pains pass through her amputated arm, Alicent observes him with sharp green eyes.

— Well, thank you.

She is silent so, painfully long these days, the grills no longer sing and the sounds of the night simply do not exist, of course not, at the time of the wolf, the wolves hunt and the prey hide.

Alicent Hightower kills the King and the castle sleeps.

— You're going to kill me, then? — Viserys asks, still with his heart jumping in his chest, he's a little funny, to be honest, Alicent would never have the courage to kill him, Daemon would avenge him with the best of his abilities, everyone would know of his death and Alicent would die in an hour or two.

Alicent doesn't answer, of course not, she always did the things she wanted, when she did, where she wanted and because she did want, not even the Gods could force Alicent to do something she didn't want, but , her own voice interrupts her thoughts, she married you and did not want to.

— I didn't make a speech when I killed my father. — Alicent says, after a painfully long moment and Viserys feels his heart beating in his chest, Alicent would never, ever, be able to do such a thing, he is sure.

— What? — he asks weakly.

— I didn't make a speech when I killed my father. — Alicent repeats, painfully seriously, looking into his eyes. — I did not because I didn' t have to, Otto was always a clever man, he knew why he was dying, but you, ah, you, Viserys, you are a fool, a nice idiot dressed in black and red wrapped in a rotten and weak flesh that fits with your spirit, you're nothing but a puppet in a theater pretending to be the headmaster but you are just one of the countless idiot puppetry that will be broken and forgotten.

— What? Alicent... — Viserys can only say with pain, that's painful, Alicent is a cruel woman with her words, always was, always will be, but Visery was never their target, he was always a funny viewer who skillfully controlled his wife's anger for contempt that only she saw.

— Hold your mouth shut, you idiot, just shut up once in your life and listen. — Alicent says, and he is evil, bitter and rude, but he is also tired, as if Alicent was screaming all his life and no one ever heard her.

Viserys thinks he has no choice but to obey Alicent.

— All the decisions you have made since you became King have been pathetic, simplistic and stupid, your only good decision was to appoint Rhaenyra heir, after that, you let her be thrown to the serpents of the court and never did anything for her.

— I made her queen. — Viserys protested, weakly, with the heart beating in the chest, he made Aemma's daughter the most powerful woman in the kingdom, it was the only fight he had with Otto over the years, Alicent could have given her a thousand and one male sons and none of them would replace Rhaenyra.

— No, Viserys. — Alicent says, smiling weakly, as sharp as valerian steel. — I made her queen, I made Rhaenyra queen when I made Laenor Velaryon marry another woman, when I killed Larys Strong; when I cut off Sister Criston Cole's tongue and killed thirteen men who defamed her; I made her Queen when I murdered Otto Hightower so that she could ascend to the throne without a rebellion; I became Queen when i made her Lady Hand. I taught you the art of ruling while you died prematurely because you couldn't see that you were a weak King.

— Murder of relatives is the most repulsive crime that a man could commit. — He chooses to say because there is nothing else he can say, his mind simply does not record Alicent's words, the horrors that she has just confessed to him, he could ask his head on a stack and it would be done, the crimes of Allicent are many and Faith would condemn her for the murder of Lord Otto, Faith will condemn it for many things.

— Did you think about it when you killed Aemma? — Alicent asks back and Viserys feels his breath speaking.

— That.. —Viserys ruge, the fire in her chest burning for the first time in years, as strong as that of Balerion. — It was different, it was very different, Aemma would not survive, there was no way.

— How would you know? — Alicent replied, roughly. — Maester Runciter was my father's man, Aemma died, and I was crowned Queen with a crown bathed with the blood of a dead woman and the bones of a son who could hardly breathe; I was the echo of a Queen who deserved much more.

— I married you because I liked you, Alicent. — Viserys replies, ignoring what Alicent implies, "the Maesters would never act against the Targaryen family, no one would act against Targaryen, the fire still burns in their veins with what it implies; he wants to strangle Alicent, wants to make her bleed, but he knows he can't.

— Did she marry me because she liked me or because she felt so guilty for not making Aemma happy that she had to take the only thing that made her leastly happy? — is a hard blow to her chest, Alicent was always cruel, always hard, always fierce, she wore her fierceness on her sleeve and didn't hide her silver tongue from anyone, she destroyed lords and ladies smaller with one or another sharp word and did not let any insult pass, perceived or not, but she never turned her tongue to the family, she never despised them.

Viserys feels his chest falling, it's painful, evil, something animalish grows inside Viserys, he wants to strangle her, lock her in the Black Cells and make her stay there for long days. He wants Alicent to feel the same pain he feels when he hears her.

But he can't, of course not, a queen could never stay in the basement without a good reason, and there was no one in the kingdom who knew of any of Alicent's allegations, no one would confirm her crimes.

No one knew that she had killed Larys, or Otto or any of the minor knights, all Viserys had were words from his wife's mouth and there was no way to prove them, his wife was a killer of relatives and Visery was the next, Alicent would be cursed seven times for killing her father and seven more times for murdering the King.

He wanted to call Sor Erryk Cargyll from the door and say that there was a murderer in the King's rooms, the man would execute his orders quickly and Viserys would sleep the rest of the night and the next morning Alicent would be executed, but...

There was always one but, of course there was, there was a part of Viserys that was so tired, he was an old man, who had seen his children grow up and have children, he had had a long life, and the last years had been tiring, exhausting, terrifying to live.

One part of Viserys simply wanted to take Milk of the Poppy enough to never wake up again, another part of him wanted to pass the crown to Rhaenyra and go to the Free Cities, cross the seas and go as close as possible to Valyria, his family's home, to die in the Cursed Lands, the closest a Targaryen would have to die at home.

A King abdicating from the Iron Throne, that joke, the father would be horrified, the grandfather's ashes would be moving and Rhaenys would be laughing, not for the first time, Viserys thought that Rhanys would have been a much better queen than he was.

To die would be much better, murder or not, Viserys was tired, heavy was the head that carried the crown.

And Viserys' head was heavy for years.

— All right, then kill me. — he says, in resignation, Viserys himself cannot say.

— Ah, not yet. — Alicent replied. — Do you at least understand why I am going to kill you? — she asked, and Viserys wanted to turn her eyes, for the sake of the gods, she could only kill him.

— Well… — replied Viserys, every moment that strange night goes on, Viseris is more sure that his wife has gone mad. — You hate me, of course, you hate me for many things, some of these reasons I don't even know what they are.

— What's the name of your children? — his wife asks, and Viserys feels a little nervous once again, he is talking to his wife, but again he's turning around in circles in a conversation that only Alicent understands and she doesn't know what she wants. — What are the names of your five children? Tell Viserys, their name, and I'll gladly go to the basements and lock myself in the cells.

— Rhaenyra. — Viserys begins, still confused. — Aegon, our boy… — he pauses for a while, not knowing exactly what Alicent wants him to say, Aemma's dead sons had names that she had whispered on their bodies before they were burned. — Baelon, the boy that Aemma lost, our other girl, Helena, and the younger boy, our last, Aenys.

— You don't even know the names of our children. — Alicent replies, she is so angry that her eyes are filled with tears. — You do not know the name of your daughter, they are yours, as mine as yours and you do not even know their names. The name of our girl is Helaena and of our last two boys, Aemond and Daeron, and you don’t know their name, you... — Alicent stops talking and holds her hands in hard, tight fists and breathes deeply.

Viserys moves himself in the bed and smoothes the sheets with the remaining hand, he knows he has flaws and lately,Viserys has been reminded of them more and more, every day that passes, his debts are thrown on his face, presented to him in silver plates.

But how should Viserys remember children who are his, but not Aemma's?

Oh, gods, Alicent should know, she's so clever after all, she should know that Viserys wanted Aegon to be of Aemma, he wanted the boy to have Aemma's nose, the curve of her smile and her long fingers, everything Visery sees when she looks at Rhaenyra is Aemma. Her sweet, precious and happy Aemma; all Vizerys sees when he looks at Aegón is Alicents malicious smile, her curly hair and her sharp tongue.

He does not hate any of the children, children are present, at the end of the days, but even the most powerful of men desires things that he cannot have.

And Viserys' desire is for her children to have another mother, one that wasn't murderous, sick, malicious, and unscrupulous.

Alicent was all the bad one could expect in a woman and Viserys had wrong, so many years ago, in making her Queen, the most powerful woman in the kingdom, he should have let Alicent marry a minor Lord with lands away from Red Keep and should have remained single forever.

So many things would be avoided.

Lord Otto would be alive and Viserys would have his good advice to listen to, Laenor would be Rhaenyra's husband and the gap between his family would be healed, there would be no doubt that Rhainyra was the best heir to the Throne andViserys could die knowing that the Kingdom was safe.

Ah, there were so many things that would be different, things that Viserys't have to worry about, maybe he would be healthier, more alive, not rotten alive as he was now, he could spend more time with his grandchildren and daughter.

There were so many things that Viserys could do if she hadn't married Alicent, thinking about it now would not change the past, would not cause her marriage to fall apart, and, most importantly, would never bring Aemma back.

— They are my children and I would ride Vhagar without seal, without blood Targaryen to keep them safe, but how can I keep them secure if their own father is the one who hurts them? — Alicent's voice takes him out of his introspection, his voice is strong and hard, Alicent is determined.

— You... you... you're going to kill me because I offended our children? — Viserys asks, unbelieving, of all things that Alicent could have kept grieving, it was this that made her act, if Viserys weren't so unbelievable, he would laugh at the absurdity.

— Also. — Alicent replies. — I will kill you because you treated our children as discardable when they are as clever as sharp daggers, I will kill him because you never devoted a moment of your time to making them happy, I'll kill you for breaking their hearts so many times that I couldn't even count, but I will also kill you 'cause you killed Aemma for an heir you already had, I am going to kill you' because I hate to see the bad decisions that he continues to make, I shall kill you, because I can't stand to see you destroy this family anymore.

Viserys assumes that there would be good motives if he were a woman who understood an inexistent contempt.

Just because Viserys spent more time with Rhaenyra and paid attention to his ideas, did not mean that he did not like his other children, but Rhainyra deserved more attention, she was the heiress, orphaned mother with a father busy with the government of a kingdom, Rheenyra deserve all the attention that Visery gave her.

Alicent making a scene about it was, frankly, a little exaggerated.

Viserys knew that he had faults, that man did not have, even being closer to the gods than men, the Targaryens still had flaws, look at Maegor, drowned in war, in hatred and blood, Visery was good compared to them.

— Everything I have done. — Viserys begins, a justification, an appeal, he does not yet know. — It was for the good of the House of Targaryen, it was for our good, all my decisions were to elevate us to what we were when we lived in Valyria.

Alicent smiles, but not of joy, not of sadness, it's a pity, Alicent is sorry for him, even after all that time, for all that Viserys gave her, turning her from a second daughter without anything to a queen.

— You are the ruin of the Targaryens, Viserys, but you are the only one who has not seen it. — Alicent still smiles, she seems tired, exhausted, tired. — No one has ever told you that, but I say, you are weak, a younger man who was born with white hair and purple eyes, a fool, a stupid idiot, without intelligence, cunning or political modes who rose to the position of King because he had a clay and not a brain.

Ah, Viserys has no retribution to that, he knows he did the best in his government, even if Alicent doesn't see, look where they are, Rhaenyra is his heir, so solid in his position that not even the dumbest of men would dare challenge it, Daemon is his sword, following his orders, they have so many children that the line of succession is guaranteed for ages.

Viserys did that, he took the House of Targaryen so small, so dull, so weakened and closed and raised it to places that men would not even dream of, they were never so numerous, so healthy, so strong, the Kingdom was thriving, even the small people were prosperous, no disease and no rebellions, the Lords were satisfied with never been.

He, alone, did that.

No matter what Alicent said, Viserys knew what he had done, he knew his flaws, and ruining the House of Targaryen was not even close to what Visery did.

— If that's what you believe. — Viserys chooses to answer, it's much easier than arguing with Alicent.

— Your last words? — asks Alicent, and it is almost gentle, almost sweet, a distant echo of the girl whom Viserys once met and liked, yet her tone is painful, as if Visery were an inferior being worthy of pity.

— I'll see Aemma again, we'll be happy together as long as you stay here, alive, and then go to the Seven Hells. — It's a blow, Viserys knows it is, it's always been painful for Alicent that Visery could stay with Aemma and she didn't.

Alicent, surprisingly, laughs.

— Ah, Viserys. — she said afterwards and stopped laughing. — You're not going where Aemma is, you're going to a much worse place, who knows, we can even meet there, maybe I'll kill you again, with knives this time, as I always wanted.

Alicent looks at her face, she seems to look at her soul with her intense green eyes, she still feels sorry, but there's something more on her facial, something harder, more raw, for a moment, Viserys wonderes if Alicent ever liked him, or loved him, but then she blinks and the moment is lost and Visery knows she doesn't need to ask.

There was not a day they met that Lady Alicent Hightower liked him, there was no day that they were married, that Queen Alicent Hightor had loved him.

— Go to bed, Viserys. — Alicent says, the first time he moves from his seat in the corner of the bed. — Don't fight with me, it will be much easier if you just accept death.

One part of him, the part that has not yet seen his grandson who is about to be born, the party that wants to see Aegon marry, the side that feels that it must protect Rhaenyra from the Iron Throne and his enemies, wants desperately to live.

Another part of him, the one that's tired, exhausted and bitter, so disappointed with the world, knows that Rhaenyra is ready, she'll have Daemon and Alicent, she will have the support of the Small Council, and she's going to have the oath of the men.

Viserys lies in bed, he doesn't want to fight anymore.

There are a number of battles that men can fight, a King must fight twice as much, but this, this battle is not one that Viserys wants to fight, not now, not tomorrow, never.

Alicent takes one of the feathers on the other side of the bed, Viserys needed them, lately, his bed looked like a cute nest with so many pillows.

He never imagined that a pillow would be used to kill him and not to comfort him.

Alicent's face is open when she covers her face with the pillow, she doesn't feel remorse, Viserys realizes, not a little, she is not happy to kill him, nor is she sad to see him die, she's fulfilling a duty.

That's what it is, a duty.

It does not hurt, at first it is like sleeping for a long time in the same position, it is pushing your face into a pillow and screaming, it's a little tight, a little hot and Viserys can feel your breath moistening the pillow cover.

Then it's weird, he can't breathe, but he can hear, can feel his mind embroidering in panic, he may feel the desire to fight climbing on his body and can feel Alicent's weight on his arms, his legs, his trunk, when she climbed on top of him, Viserys doesn't know.

But he debates his face, trying to breathe deeper, his pillow gets tighter, his lungs burn, his nose burns, everything burns.

Viserys is stupid now, it's hard to think with the fierceness, he...

He wants...

Viserys wants...

He wants me to...

It's hard...

It’s…

— King Viserys is dead, long live Queen Rhaenyra.

“The Hightower were treacherous creatures, none of them were trustworthy, they were all bloodthirsty snakes, money, connections and power, some less, some more, and none was as ruthless as Otto hightower, his death was a hard blow to his brother’s ego, Ormund.

After Otto's fall, all the courtiers imagined that the Hightower would send a new counselor to the king.

They were wrong, tremendously wrong, Ormund Hightower was a man who had persevered in the times when dragons ruled the heavens, the earth, and the sea, and yet, the Lord of Hightower had led his brother to a position where the greatest of men only dreamed of occupying.

No, Lord Ormund't send a man to the King, he'd send a guy to the Queen.

It was this duly bold plan that caused the Hightower House to be extinguished.”

- Maester Mellion in "The Rise and Fall of the House Hightower" of the year 199 AD