The ones who'd been gone for so very long - Mushroom I
“If she had been another woman, I would have stolen her like a savage and not even the gods could have stopped me.”
- Mushroom's secret diary entry, dated to the seventh day of the seventh moon of the year 105 АC, discovered in 2017 АC, by Aerea Targaryen, The Free Spirit
Mushroom was underrated.
That was a fact he knew, knew and appreciated, he played the fool, created the interpretations that made men laugh and women blush, talked about his dick constantly and learned more secrets in a day than the Master of Whisperers in a year.
Nor was he stupid, sick, dumb, simple-minded or retarded.
Mushroom was none of those things, but he was also good enough to play the role well enough that the court thought he was a fool playing the fool for a bunch of Lords while he was the puppeteer of his own play.
Mushroom liked some people at court, Lady Aemma was a gentle soul, her daughter Rhaenyra was a sweet little thing who called him “Mush Mush” and he didn't have the heart to correct her.
Others, like Prince Viserys and a few lesser lords, were fools, idiotic and dumb, without the slightest sense of arrogance or cunning to play the grand game of thrones, some, like Prince Daemon, were too cruel and easily bored to even sit on the throne.
But the best part, well, the second best part was Lord Otto, a second son with no expectations who didn't even get a minor lordship, but managed to rise to the rank of Lord Hand by his credited cunning and well-spoken wit.
In his own private opinion, Mushroom thought Lord Otto a lord who gave himself more credit than he deserved, he was cunning, sure, clever, too, but he wasn't all he thought. If Lord Otto was as good as he claimed, why the hell he never got a lordship of his own and was always under his brother's wing?
Reflections on Lord Otto could wait, he was not as interesting as his daughter, Lady Alicent, the Old King's former companion, who read him stories, sang him songs, and was as close to him as a dear daughter. After the Old King died, it was expected that Lady Alicent would be sent home and betrothed.
But her very shrewd father, of course, kept his daughter in the capital. And while Mushroom thought that was stupid, even he would marry Daemon Targaryen if he was allowed and if, of course, Daemon wasn't already married to Rhea Royce.
Lady Alicent's interest in Daemon Targaryen seemed to be the same as a noble's interest in a rotten potato, non-existent, slightly disgusted and repulsive, and the feeling seemed to be mutual.
What confused him, to be honest, were the barbs exchanged between the two, Lady Alicent and Prince Daemon argued about everything and anything: from the heat of the sun to the appropriate color of clothes to wear at court, the last time a stalemate broke out. Prince Daemon was convinced that beets were better than potatoes, and Lady Alicent had, not very gently, thrown a shoe at the Prince's head, who in turn looked very pleased.
Truthfully, Targaryens were strange and Lady Alicent seemed to have a very peculiar strangeness about her as well, quite content with the exchanges between her and the prince.
But it wasn't Daemon Targaryen that Alicent's attention seemed to be focused on, she enjoyed Queen Aemma's company much more, which Mushroom didn't understand either, they were complete opposites, Alicent was loud, expressed her opinion for all to hear, rode her horse through the streets of King's Landing and ate the food made and sold by the commoners.
Queen Aemma was the picture of modesty, regal, serious and beautiful in a fragile and empty way, she looked sickly, never laughed, and if anyone at court had seen her smiles or heard her laughter, it would have been in the privacy of her chambers and not in public.
And then he heard the laughter, a loud, unladylike atrocity, and definitely louder than was respectable for a lady of the Seven Kingdoms.
— I will fall. — It was definitely the laughing voice now, with that same tone of amusement and Mushroom's curiosity piqued.
It is in an isolated place, few people come to the Queen's personal garden, which looks more like a secluded clearing with bushes and tall hedges that protect the Queen and her ladies-in-waiting.
— Mommy, mommy, mommy. — and that is Princess Rhaenyra's voice, covered in a layer of laughter he can recognize, his curiosity is heightened and Mushroom ducks into the small space, barely higher than his head and peers through the only space made in the trellis of hedges and bushes.
The hole in the hedge is enough for Mushroom's left eye to see the view of the garden, and oh, the gossip, the audacity, the havoc that that pearl of information would cause, Queen Aemma Arryn, the first of her name, mounted on a black stallion with her legs spread like a commoner, her crown abandoned on a concrete bench and her hair loose from her braid.
— Come on, Em, it's just a light prank, Hades is really sweet. — Lady Alicent responds, sitting next to Princess Реактора on a red tablecloth with baskets of sweets and fruit around her. — No, honey, you eat the strawberry, you don't crush it. The scolding for the little princess is delivered in such a calm voice that Mushroom can't even think of spoiling the moment.
— Strawberry. — the princess replies, her face covered in said berries, much to Lady Alicent's amusement.
The horse chooses that moment to break into a brisk trot, the Queen screams and Rhaenyra returns the scream with a war cry as she rises to her tiny legs, Lady Alicent laughs and stands, and in light strides, she is holding the halter, making the horse stop.
Lady Alicent has been the talk of the town since she arrived at the Court of King's Landing, with her riding breeches, unfashionably plain hair and few dresses selected for special events, Mushroom thinks she would have fared much better if she had been a boy.
— You can't be afraid of him, Em, he's just a horse, it's you who makes the rules. — Lady Alicent says, eyes focused on Queen Aemma's face.
— I don't know why I agreed to these classes. — the Queen replied, a plaintive tone in her voice as she ran her hands over the horse's neck.
— Because every lady dreams of being a knight, no matter what rank. — Lady Alicent replies, lacing her fingers with Queen Aemma's, and Mushroom is no fool, he's seen women who bed women and sword-swallowers enough to recognize one when he sees one.
But the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, the kingdoms that are on the brink of collapse due to the lack of a male heir is... simply unimaginable, there isn't a thing in the world that would make one think that the Queen would risk losing the throne because of an unfounded romance with another woman.
It's a stupid thing to do, and yet, Mushroom thinks the Queen would risk it.
After all, love is the death of duty.
He leaves, silently and resumes his walk, there are things in the world that are much better left alone, and if need be, Mushroom will use the knowledge to his own advantage, he just needs one slip.
A slip never happens, Lady Alicent and Queen Aemma are nothing if not discreet, and if he's honest, Mushroom admits that what the two have is nothing more than a romance that could have happened but never did.
On the few occasions they were seen in public, the two were nothing more than aloof, a cold picture of a Queen and a proper lady-in-waiting who wore breeches and rode a horse.
Twice he returns to the Queen's garden, and both times, he sees Lady Alicent with Rhaenyra and her tea parties, her silly games and her baskets of sweets and fruit, Alicent and Queen Aemma interact like two young women who want something that they can't have, and Mushroom sympathizes with the Queen.
A frail woman, forced to wed too soon, having bedded too young and losing child after child until she had a daughter who fell ill too many times for the maesters to deem it healthy for the little princess to live to come of age.
Queen Aemma was a lonely woman who was forced to live in the solitude of court with a husband who adored her but whom she was repulsed by and a daughter who would be sold like a broodmare tothe highest bidder.
It was good that she had some love.
Then the year 105 AC arrives and tragedy comes with it.
The Queen announces at court that she is pregnant again, the Lords and King cheer, the people pray for the heir and even the smalfolk seem invigorated, but he sees the Queen's eyes, sees the tearful gleam in them and the Lady Alicent's furrowed brow.
Everyone knows the Queen should not have another child, everyone except King Viserys, who deliberately ignores what he doesn't want to hear and what he doesn't want to see.
The Queen dies in the same year, on the fifth day of the seventh moon of the year 105 AC, her baby Prince Baelon lives for a day before he dies, the court weeps, the King despairs and Mushroom looks.
The first day of the vigil for Queen Aemma draws all the people of King's Landing to the doors of the Red Keep, they cry out their grief for the beloved Queen, despite the pleads, only those closest to the Queen are allowed in her rooms.
Lady Alicent keeps vigil for all 7 days and all 7 nights, which is no stranger to the eyes of the Court, after all, Queen Aemma and Lady Alicent were often seen together, drinking tea, whispering to each other, embroidering and sometimes just walking around the gardens.
Mushroom is only able to speak to her on the seventh day of the seventh moon, a time when not even the King is present, he stops beside Lady Alicent and waits, for the first time in a long time, Mushroom doesn't know what to say.
He always has a joke, an anecdote, a curious fact or just a silly thing about his cock to blurt out, but not today, today, the words are dried up, because Queen Aemma was loved by everyone, her gentle way, her kindness, her sweet words and not even even Mushroom is cruel enough to play with a lover's pain.
— I know you know. — Lady Alicent says, quietly and Mushroom feels a kind of shock rising in his stomach. — I've seen you, in the hedges, you're not as discreet as you think you are, but you're as smart as you pretend you aren't.
If Mushroom thought this wasn't a day for surprises, he was solely mistaken, and then Lady Alicent surprises him even more.
— If she had been any other woman, I would have stolen her like a wildling and not even the gods could have stopped me. — Lady Alicent told him, eyes so empty and lost and wet that Mushroom felt the secret close up in his heart, never to be spoken aloud again.
— Why are you telling me this? — he asks, not caring that she sees the intelligence in his eyes, or the malice, or anything.
Lady Alicent smiles, small and sad and broken.
— Because no one would believe you. — Lady Alicent replies, smiling wearily and Mushroom admits she has a point, Lady Alicent may be the most rebellious young woman the Realm has ever seen, but the worst thing there is to say about her is that she eats the same food as the smallfolk. And Queen Aemma, well, she was every good thing there was.
He paces out of the vigil room and back into the corridor, not saying a word in response to Lady Alicent.
That same night, Mushroom wonders, if there was a better world, where Queen Aemma was just a woman, would things have been happier?
"It is never explicitly said in Mushroom's journals, and in the brief passages the future Queen Alicent wrote by her own hand, why Queen Aemma never agreed to run away with her youthful crush, scholars surmised that a growing affection for King Viserys I would be the reason.
I admit that there can be thousands hypotheses: the potential destruction of the kingdom, the public hanging, the Faith of the Seven and even fear, but the theory that convinces me the most, is that both Lady Alicent and Queen Aemma loved the future Queen Rhaenyra too much to make her eternally flee the Capitol's vipers.”
- Aerea Targaryen, The Free Spirit, in a lecture at Hightower University in the year 2019 AC