Chapter 8
Loki walked through the bavarian town, eyes big with wonder. Even though it had been some days already since he had been here, the amazement never seemed to cease, no matter how often he saw the same things. Streets, houses, little shops, everything was so different from Asgard, from New York even! No golden buildings that seemed to outshine and drown everyone at the same time, no shouting in the street from people trying to sell their goods, no hectic atmosphere because here, everyone seemed to have all the time in the world. No one was too busy to greet their neighbour with a smiled “Hello, how are you?” and no one was too rushed to stop for a little chat with someone they knew. And even though Prince Loki knew no one here and no one stopped to talk to him, he still enjoyed this strange familiarity everyone here seemed to have with each other. He relished those moments of peace that seemed to soothe his mind because for too long he hadn’t been able to just … float. But here, in watching those calming people, in being an outsider just looking in on the tiniest aspects of strangers’ life, he found that tranquility he hadn’t known he had yearned for. And he drank it all right in.
He slowly continued strolling through the village, all the while paying attention to everything and nothing at the same time, but he came to a sudden halt when he bumped into something. Someone, he realized a second later and immediately started apologizing, since this collision had been his fault by not paying attention to where he went.
“I am sorry, my lady, for this incident is entirely on me, I will compensate you for any damage done, of course!”
In front of the dark haired prince stood an elderly woman, maybe sixty, seventy-ish in Earth-years who looked strangely at him at first, then, as if suddenly understanding what had been said, her face changed into a smile. A smile so warming and nice that Loki couldn’t help but reciprocate it. He studied her face, pale skin but not as pale as him, more rosy, really, her kind eyes that had seen so much, bad things, the war, the destruction, the pain and also good things, family, her grandchildren, the beauty of simplicity. She led a good life, one she was content with and wouldn’t want to trade and suddenly the dark prince felt such a longing. He wanted that too.
“Oh no worries young man, no harm done!” the friendly lady reassured him and even though the words she spoke sounded so different from how the Avengers talked, Loki understood her as she had understood him. All-speak was a useful thing, except for the fact that Loki would have liked to learn other earth languages, there were so many of them he had been told!
“Maybe I can help you? You look a bit lost! Are you here on vacation? That’s a bit … unusual though, we rarely get guests here that aren’t somehow tied to one of the families here… Tell me, what’s your name? Are you here all by yourself, must get lonely! Oh don’t worry, you just come over for coffee and cake tomorrow, my children come visit me so I’ll bake something anyways!” And she sounded way too excited about the prospect of helping a lost person, Loki didn’t know what to make of it exactly. Her many questions made him suspicious by nature but deep down he knew how ridiculous that was. The alien god just didn’t know why someone, any human, really, would just … invite a stranger to eat with them and their family.
“Oh no, that’s really not necessary! I’m just … out here to … to get away, really.” he deflected.
“Away? Away from what? Nice young man like you must have the girls all over him, hm? I, for a start, know for sure my granddaughters have posters hanging all over their rooms with men that look like you!”
“Ehm…” Loki coughed. “I would rather not talk about it, if it’s all the same to you…” he finished weakly. And immediately the old lady’s look changed into a worried one.
“Oh honey of course… young love, hm?” she smiled sadly but nostalgic and then proceeded to lay a reassuring hand on his upper arm.
“It might feel unbearable and all-consuming right now, but you just believe me, it will get better with time. It will.”
Hot tears sprang into his green eyes and all of the sudden he became angry, how dare this mortal tell him anything about his feelings!
Startling her he pulled his arm out of her grip and turned away from her with an infuriated expression on his face. She knew nothing about him or the situation he was in! Nothing at all!
“Oh Schätzen *,” she sighed, “I have seen love and pain, believe me. And it all will go away eventually. I know that doesn’t help you right now, but just know that it will get better. In the meanwhile, just eat ice cream and chocolate, hm? You’ll be okay... “ And she sounded so sincere, how could Loki possibly tell her off. After all it wasn’t her fault he had been fooled by his beloved.
Slowly he started to wipe away the few tears that had spilled.
“Resi!”
He heard a male voice shout from over the street and then the soft hand of the older woman was back on his arm. “I have to go, my husband is waiting…” she sighed, then grinned. “The old fool can’t seem to survive even just five minutes without me!”
Involuntary Loki grinned back.
“But the invitation for tomorrow still stands, so … see you?” with that the strange but kind lady turned around to walk over to her husband.
“Resi wo woarst na du, wer isn des do? A ge du redst scho wiedr fui z fui! Lass doch a moi die armen Leit in rua...”*
Their conversation slowly faded into the background as they walked away in the opposite direction, leaving Loki standing there, all by himself again, realizing that the lady had never even told him where she lived.
He continued standing there for another couple of minutes before he slowly started to make his way back. It didn’t take too long until he found himself in front of a door. His door , Loki reminded himself. He had been gifted this apartment by an elderly man in exchange for money, rent , as the mortals called it. He had never understood that principle, why would anyone want to live in a house that he couldn’t fully call his own?
Now he was glad humans practiced this strange custom.
He put his key into the slit, turned it and finally was able to step into his sanctuary. Another strange thing. Keys. On Asgard he had only needed his magic or most of the time nothing at all, the guards normally opened the doors in the palace. And on earth, Anthony had had his bodiless voice, that could give him access to all the rooms. Life on Midgard was odd.
He put his bag with groceries that he had bought himself with actual money on the table in the little kitchen. If he was being honest, he was proud of himself. Going outside, buying food and supplies instead of just whisking them out of thin air with his magic kind of grounded him, it was a nice feeling. It was almost like a guideline he could grab in those difficult times. But he wouldn’t think of them! No, not when he could help it.
The first time he went shopping in this little village had almost been a small adventure! It had been difficult to find a store that sold what he needed, it wasn’t as he had come to know. There were no big malls with many shops in it or even just one big store that sold about everything, no, in the village here was one small market that sold fresh fruits, freshly baked goods and other local things to eat, that had a pretty basic stock of the average groceries and daily used utensils and not much more. So after finally finding this store, Dorfladen as it was called, and deciding on what he would want to buy, he remembered, just in time, that he had left this small card which magically paid for everything in the Stark Tower along with all the other things. But Loki wasn’t his brother, he had bought things for himself back in Asgard and even on Earth, without the card of VISA, so he knew how money worked and what it looked liked.
It had been no biggie for the God of Mischief to create several 20$ notes to pay for everything, but as smart as the Prince was, he hadn’t taken into account that he wasn’t in the US no more. So the nice cashier told him with an apologetic face that they only accepted german money, Euro she had said it was called.
It was an honest mistake Loki had made, not taking into account how disrupted all of Midgard still was and how most lands had their own money, of course. Since language luckily wasn’t a problem, it didn’t take long for him to figure out what the european money looked like and after paying with the right currency, he had left. This time, of course, everything had gone smoothly.
Loki unpacked all the things he had brought home with, there was still dirty, fresh salad, tomatoes, cucumber and also fresh cheese, milk and a spaghetti. Once everything was on the kitchen table, he started with washing the ingredients for the salad in the sink. Cutting it all up and mixing came next and finally he tried that new dressing he had read about in a cooking magazine, that had been given to him for free. Content with the salad, Loki now turned his attention to the spaghetti and the tomato sauce. After putting the pasta into boiling water, he started on the sauce and made it without any incident until he came to the stirring part. All it needed was a tad too energetic stir and sauce suddenly splashed out of the pot, on the stove and Loki himself. He froze. The first time he had cooked with Anthony it had been a similar affair. They had made an attempt Tagliatelle instead of Spaghetti, but the rest had been fairly the same and it all had ended with them both covered in italian sauce, licking it off of each others faces.
Oh by the Norns, how could he have thought to ever find the strength to be over a man as formidable as Anthony!
A sob started to escape his throat as the tears slowly gathered in his eyes.
Just go back to him! a voice whispered in his mind. And maybe he should just do that. Maybe, if he begged and made it worth the Man of Iron’s while, maybe then he would be taken back. And Loki, Prince of Asgard, would just accept all the other concubines his lover decided to keep beside him, if only he would have him again! Because in this moment, right there, it all was so dark and a life without Anthony didn’t seem worth living.
Slowly sinking to his knees he started to think about it in earnest. Would he be capable of sharing his lover with others? Of living with the knowledge that he alone wasn’t enough?
The tears started to stream down his cheeks and with them his last resolve fell. Right then and there on the kitchen floor, completely blending out the hot water boiling over on the stove, he broke down completely.