Chapter 10
"Do you see What I see?"
Day 5: Tuesday, December 15.
TONY & STEVE
They arrived at the tower a couple of hours later. Tony wanted to take a shower before preparing everything for movie night. They all left to their respective rooms to rest a little bit before the movie. Tony went to his room and undressed, his bandaged hand made everything less easy for him, he bathe carefully and then dressed in a cotton shirt and comfortable pants.
After they finished watching The Grinch, everyone went to their rooms. Steve offered to help Tony cleaning, while the others retired to their bedrooms.
“Hey” Steve said once they finished cleaning, “Do you want to come to my room?”
Tony blinked.
Two times.
“I finished the painting” Steve added, blushing when he realised what he had said. He looked adorable.
“Oh” Tony said.
“Do you want to?“ Steve pointed at the elevator.
The man followed him to his room quietly. He noticed Steve felt embarrased that his room was so messy. There were paintings he never finished in the corners and a his bed hadn’t been made. He started picking up things when Tony chuckled.
“Don’t do that” the man said, “You’ve already seen my lab”
Steve nodded. Again a blush crept through his cheeks. Tony smiled softly, he managed to look beautiful even when he was embarrassed.
“You are adorable when you do that” he said, before he could stop himself.
Steve chuckled nervously, “there it is” he said walking to the other side of the room.
“Not so much when you do that” Tony added, “deflecting”
“I’m not-“ Steve huffed, “Do you want to see the painting or not?”
Tony smiled and nodded.
Steve passed him the painting. It was absolutely amazing. The skyscrapers of new york under the night sky. Tony traced the different colors with his fingers, it looked like the lights were actually glowing, so alive, he could almost hear the sound of the city when it was dark. The exact same view you could see from Steve’s window.
“So?” Steve said scratching the back of his head, “Is it-“
“It’s amazing” Tony said in awe, his eyes still on the painting, “You have talent, Steve” Tony looked at Steve, the young man was smiling widely.
He liked it. When Steve smiled because of him, when Steve blushed because of something he had said.
“Let me hang it” Tony asked, “Please” he added, “At least in my lab, yeah?”
After a few seconds Steve nodded, “Sure”
Tony then grabbed the painting and without thinking he gave Steve a kiss on his cheek. He felt the man tense and regretted his impulse.
“Sorry” he said, pulling back, “That was weird” he kicked himself mentally.
“We have done weird” Steve said, he had meant it as a joke but Tony panicked, “No, no, it’s fine” Steve hurried, “Weird is fine”
“Sorry”
“Don’t” Steve shook his head.
“Goodnight Steve” he said, before leaving.
On his way to his room he cursed, what the fuck was that. He had kissed Steve and the man had been cool about it. He entered his lab and hung the painting in the wall that was in front of his working talble. He sat on the chair in front of it and stared at the painting. Maybe Steve like him back the same way. Just maybe.
Day 6: Wednesday, December 16.
Steve woke up early. Ran a few miles around the building and then went back to the tower for a shower. Everyone was already having breakfast when he got out of his room, he didn’t want to look at Tony. He sat next to Natasha and ate in silence.
Tony’s kiss still on the back of his mind, the faint scratch of his signature beard, the warmth of his lips. God, Tony’s lips were soft. Softer than he hade ver imagined, because, let’s be honest, he had pictured his lips on Tony’s before, countless of times he had wondered how would it fell like to kiss him. It wasn’t until Natasha nudged him on the shoulder that he noticed everyone was already leaving.
“We are going to the park” Natasha said.
“Oh” Steve nodded.
“Are you alright?” Natasha asked, there was a hint of a smile on her lips, “You are blushing”
Steve rolled his eyes, “let’s go” Natasha nodded and intertwined their arms. She smiled soflty at him and left a kiss on his shoulder.
They arrived home just in time for dinner, Tony left to his lab to make a few modification to his present for Steve, a 1939 triumph tiger 100 bike, all of the pieces were original but it still worked. The doors opened. Steve entered the room.
“Steve close your eyes!” Tony yelled.
“What? Why would-“ Steve froze instantly.
“Ok” Tony threw his hands in the air, “Surprise ruined”
Steve walked towards the bike carefully, “It’s amazing”
“I wanted to give it to you on Christmas but” Tony shrugged.
“Wait, it’s for me?” Steve frowned.
“Of course” Tony chuckled, “I got it a few months back, it was a mess, so I started fixing it for you”
Steve stared at Tony for a few seconds. He had been spending so much time at the lab because he was doing something for him. For a moment he felt like there was something else about it. Something beyond the simple fact that they were friends.
“Tony I-“ Steve was gaping, “Why?”
Tony frowned at him, “You like bikes”
“Yes but-“ Steve then smiled, “Thank you, Tony”
Tony grinned widely. Steve then noticed Tony’s bandaged hand was bleeding. Tony looked at his face and then at his hand.
“Don’t worry about that” He shrugged, “I just have to change the bandage” he said, “I know what you said about not working, but I-“
Before he could finish the sentence Steve grabbed him by his shirt and kissed him. He didn’t know why, but there was something inside of him that was telling him that it was what he was suppose to do. The way Tony relaxed and returned the kiss made him smile internally. He pulled back slowly.
“You got me a bike” Steve said and gave him another kiss.
“If I knew I would get these results I would have showed it to you before”
Steve chuckled and kissed him again. When they separated Steve was breathing heavily. He looked into Tony’s eyes. he licked his lips and looked at him fondly, in a way that Tony had never been looked at before.
“I’m in love with you” he said.
“Steve-”
“Just” Steve shook his head, “I am in love with you, Tony” he repeated, “And I know, you-“
Tony kissed him fiercely this time. He had been waiting so long for this moment now, for Steve to tell him something, to give a step. Steve kissed him without hesitation, his hands cupping his face while Tony’s hand traveled his body, finally resting on the man’s hips.
“You have no idea” Tony said between kisses, “How long”
“Tony” Steve said, “I’m an idiot” he chuckled against his lips, “We are both idiots”
Tony smiled softly.
He cornered Steve against the table and kissed him deeply. The way Steve shuddered made him be grateful by the man’s approach. It meant Steve wanted to be with him as much as he wanted him back. Every thought that had been clouding Tony’s mind the past few days dissipated in a matter of seconds. Having Steve in his arms there were no doubts that what he felt was love. And it was real.
Steve was so lost on the kiss that he didn’t realise Tony’s phone was buzzing. It wasn’t until the older man pulled away that he noticed.
“Steve” Tony said in an apologetic tone, taking his phone out of his pocket.
“Go ahead” Steve said.
“Pepper” Tony said frowning, “I have to take this, seems urgent”
Steve nodded, “Don’t worry”
Tony kissed his lips, “Stay here, don’t move”
“Okay”
“Don’t move” he warned.
Steve chuckled, “go”
Tony left the lab and checked his phone, Pepper had already left five messages. He thought about telling her about Steve, a big smile on his face, but when he picked up the phone she sounded furious.
“Where the hell are you?!”
“What-“ he looked at his watch.
7:28 P. M.
“Shit” He cursed, “The dinner”
“I told you not to be late, Tony” she whined, she was more irritating since the pregnancy, not that Tony nor Happy would tell her. Ever.
“I lost track of time” he said, “I’ll be there in ten”
“Tony, you better-“
“I promise!” he hung up.
When he entered the lab again, Steve was admiring the bike. He smiled when he saw Tony. Something inside Tony flipped. He was in love with Steve. With that smile and those lips.
“I am so sorry” Tony started, “Pepper invited me-“
“Tony”
“to this pre-christmas dinner and I-“
“Tony” Steve said louder, “It’s alright” He cupped Tony’s face and kissed him softly.
Steve didn’t really care about anything else, he had already confessed his feelings to Tony Stark and the man felt the same way about him.
“I’ll be back” Tony grabbed one of his hands and kissed it, “We can talk about it later”
“Sure” Steve said, “Hey, I’ll give you your christmas present”
“What is it?” Tony asked.
“It’s-“ Steve looked at the bike, “not as impressive as-“
“I love it” Tony cut him off.
Steve laughed.
“See you later” Tony said.
“See you later”
Steve left to his room with a big smile on his face.
Tony arrived to the party at 8, Pepper greeted him outside. The dinner she had invited him to was actually a party. Tony was used to this environment, the loud music and plenty of alcohol to go around. At first, he wanted to go home, back to Steve. They needed to talk about what would happen. But after a couple of drinks he relaxed. He sat on the bar and ordered a Martini.
He tried not to think about Steve. He knew overthinking everything will ruin things before they even started and he didn’t want that. He would push Steve to the back of his mind and have fun for the night.
“Tony Stark” a woman sat next to him, It was the woman that had bumped to him when he was out with Steve a few days ago.
“Amanda Jackson” he said with a smile on his face.
“I didn’t know you were coming” she continued, “If I had known I would have arrived earlier” the bartender put a drink in front of her.
She winked at Tony as she took a sip, the rim of the glass stained with red lipstick. She threw her long hair back and smiled wickedly at him.
“Well, I was late myself so” Tony shrugged.
“Where’s that blonde cutie you were with” she asked looking around. Tony chuckled.
“Not here”
“Cheers for that, then” Amanda smirked, “I thought you were an item but then I remembered that’s not your thing” Tony frowned, “Come on, Tony” she nudged his shoulder, “Didn’t you get that after the whole Pepper fiasco?”
Her words reminded him to what Fury had told him a few hours ago. But he didn’t bother in correcting her. It what was everyone thought of him. What they all knew about him.
Tony chuckled, “yeah, yeah”
Two hours later a few too many drinks Tony was laughing while Amanda told him a story about her modelling days in Paris. With the alcohol clouding his mind he wondered why didn’t they ever fucked. She was absolutely gorgeous.
“What are you thinking about?” she suddenly asked.
She was closer to him now. Too close. Tony would regret it maybe, maybe not. And deep inside he knew it was the alcohol speaking for him but he licked his lips and smirked.
“About fucking you later” Amanda’s eyes went dark with lust.
It was what she had wanted all along. And Tony thought he wanted her too. Why not? She was a beautiful woman interested in having sex with him. That’s what he wanted. That was Tony Stark did. He didn’t do relationships. He didn’t hold hands, walked under the stars on the beach and he didn’t cuddle. He fucked. He fucked hard.
They didn’t make it to the room before Tony started taking her clothes off. He cornered her against the mirrors inside of the elevator and kissed her fiercely. She laughed and then he bit her neck playfully. She moaned loudly and panted. Tony guided her to his room between kisses. He unbuttoned his shirt once his bedroom’s doors were closed.
She then stopped kissing him.
“Who’s that?”
“Wh- what? Who?” Tony turned the lights on and turned around.
Steve was in the middle of the room. He blinked a few times. All the alcohol in Tony’s system seemed to have dissipated. He could see clear now.
“Steve” he said.
Amanda frowned at both men, “Tony what’s-“
“I was just” Steve spoke, “I was leaving this here” he left something in Tony’s bed, “I apologize for the interruption, ma’am” he said to Amanda.
He didn’t look at Tony as he passed by them. And Tony hated him because he didn’t yell at him. he hated him because he couldn’t even look at his face and tell him that what he did had hurt him.
“Is everything-“
“Leave” Tony said to Amanda, “just leave”
“But-“
“Leave!” he yelled, “Get the fuck out!”
Amanda huffed and slapped Tony hard. Not hard enough. When she slammed the door Tony paced around the room. The realization of what he had done hitting him harder than Amanda. He kicked the bed in rage and then started throwing everything in his room.
“Fuck” he punched the mirror in front of him hard, “fuck, fuck, fuck!” his bandaged hand started bleeding again, this time he could see the skin from his knuckled had been ripped open.
He then saw what Steve had left on his bed. It was a painting, of course. Red and yellow lines carefully traced across the linen. Steve had given him a painting of the Ironman. Unlike other art he had seen of himself he wasn’t wearing a helmet. He noticed the way his eyes were painted, so… lifelike, happy… so not like his’.
He then noticed the small note with it.
Here’s a reminder of who you really are. Not how everyone else sees you… Including yourself.
PS: Don’t hang it on the living room, Please.
Truly yours, Steve Grant Rogers.
“Oh, Steve” he whispered, “What have I done”
He then hated himself. He hated himself for bringing Amanda home. He hated himself because he couldn’t look at Steve as he passed next to them. He hated himself because he didn’t run after the man he truly love.
Day 7: Thursday, December 17.
Steve woke up at four and went to the gym to punch a few bags. He had another nightmare. He was in love with Tony Stark and the man had broken his heart. The worst part was that it hadn’t been a nightmare. He felt angry, hurt but most of all stupid.
He had been warned about Tony Stark. Every red light in his head had been on and still he thought about giving it a chance. But Tony Stark didn’t deserve a chance. He punched the bag harder and harder until the knuckles form his right hand were bleeding. He hadn’t put the safety tape before starting.
“Steve” Thor entered the gym.
“What” Steve asked.
“Steve, your hand” Thor approached him, “you are hurt”
Steve chuckled dryly, “You have no idea”
Thor put his hand on his shoulder. Steve then looked at him, the god looked worried and sad at the same time. It was then when he realized he had been crying. His cheeks burning and his sight clouded by tears.
“What happened?” Thor asked.
“I-“ he choked on more tears.
He had never cried like this. Thor didn’t say anything, instead he held him tight and let him cry in silence.Tony Stark didn’t deserve a chance.
Because Tony Stark would never change.
“But I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger”