Bygone

Darcy wakes still in Rebecca’s bed. Rebecca sits against the headboard next to her, feeding a tiny baby cradled in her arms.

“This is James Jonathon.” Rebecca says softly, reaching over to trace the curve of Darcy’s cheek. “I planned to name my second Steven, but we’ve had some trouble and the doctor doesn’t think -well. That’s for another day.”

Darcy can’t bring herself to respond. She breathes in and out, and feels nothing. Still somehow, she can feel tears close at hand.

“And here’s John with breakfast for us.” Rebecca says. “She’s awake now, John.”

Darcy hears the clink of glassware behind her, but doesn’t bother to turn. It doesn’t matter, hands slide under her arms and she’s turned over, then pulled up. John cradles her in his arms and lap, bending over her to tuck himself around her.

“Oh, Darce. I’m so damn sorry. But thank god you came back to us.” He tightens his arms around her when she begins to cry. “It’ll be alright. I’ll take care of everything. You’re with family.”

The only thing that rouses Darcy those first weeks is baby JJ. Rebecca’s pregnancy and labor was hard. She’s on bed rest for the foreseeable future. When John is home, he waits on them both hand and foot.

He sets up lunches in the garden and carries Rebecca to the table. He brings Darcy trays of food when she refuses to leave her bed. He says nothing about waste when she doesn’t eat.

But when he’s gone, Darcy wakes at JJ’s first cry. She carries him to Rebecca’s room. She keeps a fresh glass of water on Rebecca’s night stand, and makes sandwiches and sliced fruit for lunch.

John buys a tabletop radio for in the bedroom, and starts carrying Darcy in on the mornings she doesn’t get up on her own, leaving her in bed with Rebecca.

Rebecca talks about the war. About the special project that had made Steve some kind of super soldier they’d given a campy name to. That they’d received letters of condolences after Bucky had gone missing in action, but that Steve had rescued him and the rest of his unit months later.

Of course he did, Darcy thinks. The man that could be counted on to look out for the neighborhood girls, to chase off the vicious stray dogs in the middle of the night.

When Rebecca mentions the Howling Commandos, Darcy moans. She’d heard that name before. During history classes she’d passed notes through. World War Two heroes, legends.

Damn you, Steve.

“Bucky died in the winter of ’45. Steve was there.” Rebecca’s eyes are glazed with the memories, her fingers idly playing with her son’s hair. “He wrote me a letter, after. It damn near broke my heart all over again. And Steve, he had to put his plane down only a couple months later. No letter, then.”

“Put it down?”

“There was something on it. Headed for New York.” Rebecca shrugs her shoulder. “Never would say what, damn them. But Steve put it down.”

“Big damn hero.” Darcy whispers.

“I’m just glad Ma had already- Well, that she didn’t have to say goodbye.”

Darcy just nods to herself. She’d assumed. That Mrs. Barnes was gone. It’s just another little stab.

Four weeks after Darcy arrived, the doctor ended Rebecca’s bed rest as long as she took it easy. The neighbors all had been told that Darcy was family that had come to help with the baby, and that was what Darcy did.

By mid August Rebecca is recovering quickly. Her appetite has returned and she moves easily through the house. She draws up dresses for Darcy, and John brings several of them home.

Business is good. The house is easily five or six times the size of the old apartment. There’s a piano in the living room, and the fridge is always filled with food, including fresh fruits and vegetables.

They spoil JJ, spending afternoons in the backyard with him in a sunbonnet. John surprises them with a weekend away at his parent’s house in the country. They swim in the river and stay up late on the porch.

It’s the first time someone treats her as a widow. Darcy takes a solitary walk through the woods after that. Gladys comes and finds her, and Darcy is surprised she’s changed.

“I lost Clyde. Le Rives.” Gladys says, like that should mean something to Darcy. “Now Mama thinks I should remarry. Who, I ask her? Who? It’s been nine years, but...”

Darcy’s jaw trembles.

“And who would love Willie and Sue the way Clyde would have?” Gladys offers Darcy a cigarette from a slim gold case. Darcy shakes her head and watches Gladys pull out her lighter. The other woman still wears her ring, and Darcy figures that’s why she’d been comfortable approaching Darcy. “I don’t want someone else.”

Darcy wraps her arms around her middle and nods.

“Mama says I’m living in my grief. So what if I am? It’s mine. I can do with it what I want.” Gladys blows out a long stream of smoke.

Screams come from the yard. The two hellion children. Willie and Sue. Darcy can just hear John’s voice and the screams cut off.

Gladys looks at Darcy with a smirk. “Besides, she doesn’t know how it is. The single men died in the war just like the married ones. And I’ll not tie myself to a buffoon like Evelyn’s oafish husband just to have someone.”

“I can’t even think about it.” Darcy says, shaking her head at the very thought.

In early September, someone knocks on the brownstone door and John leads Howard Stark into the living room.

He smokes half a pack of cigarettes in the back yard and takes nips from his flask while Darcy questions him.

“He told me that you just disappeared, didn’t have a choice. It was after Barnes died.” He says, eyes darting over her, his movements filled with restrained energy. “I thought you just left him. But he was my friend, and he made me promise to help you if you ever took me up on my offer. If you ever needed it.”

He leaves with a promise to come back to pick her up the next morning.

Darcy explains to Rebecca and John that she has to know. John gives her fifty dollars and tells her she always has a home with them. Rebecca makes her promise to come back.

Howard is animated and strange in the car. He introduces his driver as Jarvis, and Darcy can’t call him that. His first name is Edwin, which he protests is too informal. They settle on EJ, and Howard watches with amusement.

They drive for two and half hours to Stark Mansion.

Howard has boxes of Steve’s things. Things he’d managed to gather from the neighborhood. He’d purchased Steve’s father’s watch from the shop down the street, he had large folders of Steve’s artwork, and had even recovered Steve’s mother’s mother of pearl ring.

He also has Steve’s things from the war.

Or, Captain America’s things.

Darcy’s knees had given out then. Steve had been Captain America. Captain America and the Howling Commandos.

Then she’d thrown herself at Howard, hitting and punching and scratching.

“What did you do to him? What did you do?”

“Nothin’ he didn’t sign on for, kid.” Howard grabs her arms and holds her wrists tight. “He was my greatest accomplishment.”

“He wasn’t your accomplishment.” Darcy sobs and she can see the pictures of him after the experiments on the table. She doesn’t recognize the keening sound coming from her as she cries. “He wasn’t- He was-“

Howard catches her under the elbows and holds her up. His head jerks and he looks at something over her shoulder. Darcy turns and sees a woman in a maid’s uniform.

“Get out!” Howard booms.

She doesn’t know if he’s protecting her or Captain America.