Wedge
The next morning, you woke up on your back, your leg draped over Chris's. He was sleeping nuzzled into your neck, his arm hugging your middle tight so you were nestled right against him; his favorite way to sleep with you. You found he usually slept holding you like a little teddy bear in one way or another. The thought made you smile.
You laid there thinking about how you felt in this moment.
Good. You felt... Good. This moment felt comfortable... Right. No guilt, no sadness, just being held by him. You relished in the sensation of his warmth. You felt the heat of the morning sun creeping across the bed and onto your legs through the window blind's tilted little slats and sheer white curtains. You just listened to him breathing. You felt safe, secure and even kind of...happy. That made you smile even bigger. You were living in the moment for the first time in months.
You felt a little choked up being able to just live in such a peaceful moment. You turned your head just enough for it to rest against Chris's. He slowly opened his eyes at the touch, but you didn't see since he was so close to your side. You turned your head and placed a hand on the side of his face as you pressed your lips to his forehead.
He took a deep breath as you rolled away and out from under his arm to get up. He lifted his head and rested it in his hand, propped on an elbow. As you scooted off the edge of the bed, he smiled sleepily at your back, "Morning, sweetheart."
You turned, surprised at his voice, but you smiled, "Oh. Heh. Hi."
You started for the door and he pouted, "Hey, you don't have to leave..."
You left the room and called back before you shut the bathroom door, "I do if you don't want me to pee in your bed."
He chuckled and let his head fall back on the pillows. He felt so happy right now.
You returned from the bathroom and crawled back in the bed as Chris welcomed you back with a big smile and open arms. You laid on your back again, your head in the crook of his shoulder. He tickled your arm, "So, what you wanna do today?"
You thought. "Well, first, I'd like to say thank you."
He tilted his head, looking inquisitive, "For what?"
You rested your hand on the forearm of his tickling hand, "You've been so patient and kind to me. Even when I'm sure there were times you wanted to shake me and tell me to snap out of it."
He scoffed, offended, "Hon, I would never want to do that. Why the hell would you think that?"
You sighed, "I guess because I've wanted to do it to myself sometimes."
He rested his cheek against your head, "(Y/N), I get it. You're working through a huge loss. You aren't always going to be yourself through it. You need time."
You turned so you could look up at him, "So do you, Chris." He was way more level than you, but you knew he still had his own healing to do.
He pressed his lips together and simply said, "Yep."
He kissed your head and the both of you just layed there a while before getting up. You both decided to go out for breakfast... In your pajamas... Because you were feeling lazy... And you didn't care what all the judgmental, properly dressed people thought. You and Chris had scheduled a few days off work to keep burnout at bay, which Pepper and Tony encouraged all their employees to do from time to time.
Chris drove to the local pancake house, kind of a mom and pop meets Vegas looking place. You were seated immediately, since it was the middle of the week, but not without a disapproving look at the pajama clad legs of you and Chris from the older hostess. It didn't keep either of your from being sweet and polite though. You sat across the booth from each other, keeping your coats on since it was early enough that there was still a chill in the place.
You had only started browsing your menus when the waitress came over immediately with a pot of coffee and greeted you both, "Morning! How we doing? Coffee?"
"Yes, please.", Chris answered and she started pouring in the two mugs at the table as he continued. "We're doing really good, thanks." He slid the bowl of flavored creamers in your direction with a swipe of his hand, then he winked at your and smiled softly. He turned his attention back to the waitress and asked, "How are you?", he grinned. God, he was so nice. How many people inquired how their server was doing after being asked the same question. You loved that about him. He was so kind to everyone.
"Oh, ha.", the waitress looked like she actually blushed a little and she had a hard time keeping eye contact with him. But who wouldn't blush? He was a gorgeous and sweet. "No one ever asks me that. I'm good, thank you. I'll give you two a minute to look over the menu." She turned and left.
You smirked at him.
"What?", he inquired, taking a sip from his coffee.
"She likes you.", your quirked an eyebrow, opening a tiny cup of creamer.
"Meh.", he shrugged and set his cup down.
You noticed your cup was too full to add creamer, so you pushed it towards him, "Can you please?"
Without even needing any further explanation, he took the cup and sipped it down a bit. You couldn't stand the taste of black coffee and sometimes forgot to ask servers to leave you room for cream. This had been a regular thing between you and the guys at restaurants since you could remember. He slid the cup back to you and you thanked him, pouring in the little cup of creamer and opened another as he continued his thoughts.
"I don't notice. I'm a bit preoccupied.", he said nonchalant. You were too busy adding a second creamer to notice his affectionate expression, which turned to amusement when he saw you open and add a third container. He huffed out a laugh and shook his head slightly, "You always use so many of those."
"What?", you chuckled, adding a fourth, "There's only like, three drops in each one." Your attention turned back to his previous statement as you stirred your coffee and set the spoon down, "So what are you preoccupied with?" You took a sip of your coffee, looking at him over your cup and then put the cup back on it's saucer.
The way he was looking at you was... peaceful, laced with awe, "You."
Your sighed, but pressed your lips together, breaking eye contact. After sleeping next to him and feeling in good spirits this morning, you thought you were past this discomfort with him; apparently not. Maybe because he seemed to be professing having feelings for you? You weren't sure, but that's what it felt like.
His face fell, "Sorry." He said quietly, rested a fist against his mouth and looked down at his menu.
"Chris.", you reached across the table and touched his hand. He looked at you blankly.
The waitress came back during this most awkward moment, pen and pad in hand, "Okay, what can I get you?"
You looked at her, "I'm sorry, we need another minute.", you smiled softly at her and she responded politely and walked away. You got up from the booth and Chris watched you. You stepped to his side and slid in the seat next to him, his gaze going to the menu in his hand again. You slid your arm around his back, the other hand placed on his bicep. You laid your head on his shoulder. For a few seconds, he didn't move. Then he put his hand over yours on his arm and rested his head against yours.
After a moment he asked softly, "What are you going to have?"
Over the next few weeks, he had given you a little breathing room; close friends, but no fawning over you or flirting. He found it helped things be better between you, but it was getting a little harder to be patient.
On a Friday, you and Chris went to a movie with Sam, Maria, Nat and Bruce. He payed for you, of course, and bought you whatever snacks he could get you to admit to wanting.
You all got into the theater and picked your seats, Chris guiding you up the steps and along the isle with his hand at your lower back. You and Chris sat in the middle, Nat to your other side, Sam to Chris's. Maria and Bruce were on the outsides, next to their respective partners.
The dim lights were up since there was a few minutes left until the previews started.
You tried really hard not to eat the popcorn Chris was holding, his attention on Sam talking. It was always so hard to wait until the actual movie started.
Nat nudged you. And when you turned around, Bruce asked you, "Hey, you guys wanna come to our house for dinner tomorrow?"
"Um, I think that should be okay." You looked at Chris to ask him, but was he still talking with Sam. You turned back and said, "We'll ask when he's not busy.", you chuckled.
You talked with Nat and Bruce, then Chris for a moment before the movie started. He enthusiastically agreed to the dinner invitation.
About halfway through the movie, you and Chris had polished off all the popcorn and candy he bought. He set the candy box in the popcorn container on the floor, partially under his seat. His rested a hand on his leg, the other arm on the armrest between you.
You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. Then you reached over to hold his hand. He smiled at you and let go just long enough to lift the armrest back from between you both and put his arm around you. He held your hand again, but with his other hand now, resting on his thigh.
You put your head back against his shoulder and turned your head into his neck to smell his cologne, lightly grazing his skin with your nose. Nat glanced at you and cocked and eyebrow as Chris closed his eyes and tried to level himself since your touch was a little too arousing. You settled into him and continued watching.
Once you and Chris got home, he went in his room and kicked off his shoes. You went to the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge. All that salty popcorn made you really thirsty. You leaned your front against the island as you drank, then setting the bottle down. Chris came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your middle, his chin on your shoulder. He curled his fingers open and closed lightly against your stomach as he spoke softly, "You ready for bed, beautiful?"
His touch against your stomach stirred something in you down below... And then the guilt came again.
You removed his hands and slowly squirmed out of his embrace, "I dunno."
You took a step away and looked up at him tentatively.
His jaw was clenched and he looked agitated, "(Y/N), I've been trying really hard to give you what you need, but you're all over the place and I don't even know where the hell I stand with you." You felt the sting and tightening of impending tears in your throat. His voice was getting louder, more irritated with every word and becoming more shrill with frustration as he went on. "One minute your nuzzling my neck and driving me crazy and the next, you don't even want me touching you! I can't tell if I'm coming or going here, (Y/N)!"
The tears were welling up now, "I'm really confused, okay? What do you want from me, Chris?"
His own eyes were becoming glossy with emotion now, "I want to be with you. I want you to be mine." He took a step towards you.
You shut your eyes tight as you matched his step, away from him. His words made your heart ache, "I can't do that." You opened your eyes and they met his again.
His brows furrowed, his eyes pleading with you, "Why?"
"Because a part of me still belongs to Sebastian.", your expression was pained.
He pressed his lips together, nodded and quietly said, "Okay." He turned, went into his room and shut the door.
You started crying more, only allowing yourself quiet sobs. You walked to the living room, laid on the couch, pulling a blanket over youself and you silently cried yourself to sleep.