Don't tell me... [that you love me]

"Being with you never felt wrong. It's the one thing I did right. You're the one thing I did right.**"

"I learned that shortly after the Tony's plane crash, HYDRA has gained a new Asset" first voice belonged to a woman.

"It wasn't him. You hallucinating. Stark is dead," the second voice belonged to the man.

"Say it one more time, Rogers and I'll make you a bloody mess," the other said through clenched teeth, everyone were gathered around him.

"Bucky... you mistook someone with him already..."

"Shockin'! You surprised?!" he growled again.

"A bit, yes. You're acting like a teenager in love. You didn't even know him at all," Steve spitted out, as if offended.

Bucky tried to rebuild his friendship with Steve after all. It was going quite well, until the topic didn't come down to Stark. Natasha didn't find any excuses for him as well. She also believed everything that happened in Wakanda had gone too far in too short period of time, but she at least tried to give him some understanding and support. All in all, probably everyone took his puppy love for Tony, as some absurdity.

They all were living in New York now, in Stark's Tower, which now officialy belonged to James Rhodes. And exactly one day before, authorities asked Steve and their small crew for help when HYDRA stormed to a secret lab. They allowed Bucky to join them, earlier he was even given the SSN and was removed from the list of dangerous and sought after. Yes. He was taken on his first action, and had already ruined everything. He let HYDRA escape with samples of a virus just because he took someone for HIS Tony. But it was HIM, he could swear on everything, on his own life. His baby just didn't recognized him. It bothered him. What they did to him... They brainwashed him, the voice in head replied for him. Yes, Winter. For the first time in a long, he voluntarily contacted him. This awoke a hope in his heart.

"Perhaps I didn't know. It was not until I started to get to know him. I tried to make him happy, to make him smile. I wanted to give him everythin' he wanted when YOU were yellin' at him for no reason. And then you blamed him for everythin'. You're nothin', Steve! Complete zero!"

"Stop, both of you!" Natasha interrupted, sending a deathglare to both of them. "We need to find out who is the new HYDRA's Asset... If it's really Tony..."

"Stark is dead."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, STEVE!" he shouted, and stormed out of the room.

A year had passed since Tony's accident. Whole year. And after all this time, as if nothing happened, he meets him during his first action. Maybe a little younger, a little, just a few years. God knows what HYDRA did to him. HYDRA can do anything, and he knew it.

He tried to cure himself somehow, to push thoughts of Stark away, tried to stop thinking about him. Especially when everyone kept telling him it was only a passing crush, and will go away soon. He really tried, but each day made it worse. More and more, he missed a notorious chatter, even forever turned on lights in the workshop... almost every night he came over to the couch where Tony had slept... was looking for him... When they moved to Stark's Tower it was unbearable. They had no access to the penthouse and workshop, FRIDAY effectively prevented the entry. It was Tony's private space, no one without permission could go in there, even now. It was Rhodes' idea to move here once he got the act of ownership. He claimed that Tony would have wished... that his friends had a roof over theirs heads. Besides workshop and penthouse they had access to all the rest. But Bucky spent most of the time in his room, it was a small, customized to his needs.

FRIDAY often recorded her creator, she shared these recordings with him, so he sat for hours on the bed and watched. At least in such way he could have him close. And then he met Vision, who told him various stories about Tony. Always when he talked about him, his voice expressed a great admiration and respect. Bucky was impressed. And when he slowly began to get used to the idea that Tony had left him, that he actually didn't survive the accident... suddenly he appears. Also a tight pain in his chest appears with it, is indescribable and unbearable. He was so close, and yet beyond my reach. Didn't even remember me. It hurt.

He was also banned from leaving the tower farther than one mile. They put a metal band on his wrist – a tracker – and told him to always wear it. Truthfully, he tried to break it up, but couldn't. Only FRIDAY could remove it. They didn't trust him. Frequent attacks on Steve just confirmed it all, Winter Soldier is still unstable and dangerous. But it wasn't the Winter Soldier. It was him, Bucky. Winter slept peacefully inside him, refusing to come outside, he stopped replying to messages in their diary, stopped talking. Until now. He needed Tony. They both needed him...

"Bucky, wait," Natasha's voice came from behind him. "We'll find him."

"So suddenly we'll find him?! And what was before?! You all surrendered and accepted him dead! Where you've been all this time?!" he screamed, he couldn't stop himself. Anger took over.

"You're unfair. We were looking for him."

"For the first month, then you surrendered. You told me to sit in four walls, wherever you took me I was like a dog on a leash. Sit and be quiet and maybe you'll earn a cookie. You never let me look for him! NEVER!" he hit a wall with his left fist, making there a large hole.

"I admit we've made a mistake. But all the evidence told us that Stark is dead. We won't give up anymore, I promise. Can you go now to Steve and apologize to him? He was the one who tried to find Stark harder than the rest... and you're just being aggressive towards him from the start. Steve know he was harsh for him, he tries hard to fix it."

"He always sa-"

"He's saying this to not raise your hopes, but he really is doing all he can. He was terribly worried when Stark had that accident." she put her hand on his shoulder and smiled slightly. Fine.

"...I'll apologize to him."

"Steve..." he began when he found the blonde training in the gym. He turned to him while holding a punching bag in place. Bucky swallowed hard and stepped closer. "...I'm sorry."

"I admit it's the last thing I'd expect from you," Steve said with evident irony.

"I know I've been acting like a dick lately, but it's too much for me," Bucky lowered his head and took a deep breath. "I really care about him, Steve. As soon as I think he is somewhere out there, that they doing same things to him that they did to me... I'm going crazy, I don't know what to do. I want to smash something, I want to scream..."

Steve sighed and hugged the brunet. Bucky couldn't bear it any longer and started to cry. It was the only thing he could do at the moment. He felt powerless. He couldn't sit in one place, but also couldn't leave it. If not for this fucking tracker, he'd be on his way to Tony long ago. He would find him, right? But if he left the safe zone they would bring him back immediately. And he'd end up in Hulk's cage. So he sticked to designated areas, hoping that the rest of the group could handle everything by themselves. He helped them from the Tower as much as he could. But he couldn't bear it. He remembered what HYDRA did to him, he remembered it all. And those memories were not nice. Tortures, chair, all of this...

"Apology accepted," Steve finally said, kissing the other man's forehead. "I promise I'll do everything I can to check that new Asset."

During the night, he was awakened by a nightmare. He saw Tony sitting on The Chair, he heard him screaming, crying and trying to break free. Steel hinges held him in place. He wanted to run to him, to help him... but he ran in a place, couldn't get close to him. He tried to shout, but his voice didn't come. Some crazy sciencist appeared over Tony, grinning madly. He typed some commands into the computer. No. And then Tony raised his head and looked straight at him. Those big brown eyes... this time red from crying, full of fear, begging for help. Something buzzed, the genius curled up in a place, screaming in pain. When Bucky looked back at him, those eyes were empty, devoid of fear, deprived of everything... Ready to Comply.

Bucky buried his face in hands, trying to calm his shallow breathing. Fighting back the tears. Steve stood in the doorway, he looked worried. He had a room next to his own. I had to scream...

"You want me to stay?" he asked standing still in the doorway.

"Yes."

The next day, all but Bucky set off to search for the new HYDRA's Asset. They had no idea where to go and where to start, so they splitted. From what he knew, HYDRA had only three working chairs and one was in Siberia. He highly doubted they would take Tony there, but his group had to check that place as well... And he was sitting in the Stark's Tower, watching another old tape. The next record, however, was not as fun as the previous one. Scattered bottles of scotch on the table. Tony standing before his armor with a bleeding hand. Broken glass on the floor. A robot trying to treat his wounds.

"This record is different..." he whispered, carefully watching the scene before his eyes.

"The video was recorded eleven months and three weeks ago. Two and a half weeks before departure to Wakanda," FRIDAY prompted. Bucky shuddered, he completely forgot about her existence. "Sir is prone to alcohol abuse."

"This will have to change when he gets back home," he said falling back on the pillows. FRIDAY didn't answer.

A week passed, two weeks. Month, Three months... six months. Neither Tony, nor a group of ex-Avengers didn't return. He received regular information that they found nothing. But they discovered the damaged and burned HYDRA's old base, where was one of the chairs. Two out of three then. The last one left, where was it? In the end, he got a message from Steve that it's like looking for a needle in a haystack, and they should return home. He also said they should wait for HYDRA's next move, otherwise it's not making sense. That their base can be anywhere. Bucky yelled at him over the phone, and then threw it against the wall. They said they won't give up this time... another lie. You must get out of here, said a voice in his head. But how? Let me. He suddenly felt like something takes over the control of him, but didn't fight it. Winter Soldier was his last resort.

"FRIDAY, I need you to either remove my tracker or to falsify the signal. Otherwise I will turn you off," he began, shifting from foot to foot. Are you threatening his AI?! What are you doing?!

"Ah, a Winter Soldier. You know well my job is to keep you in the tower, and I doubt you could get into my system," she replied politely, but her tone was a bit... cheeky? "May I know where are you going?"

"I think you know the answer. If not me, then who? Those cretins wouldn't find a cow even if you'd put it before them."

"Very well. Could you take the elevator to the basement? DUM-E might have something to fix your problem, Soldier."

Saying no more, he went to the elevator, which led him to the workshop. The door before him opened without any problems. Access was granted. A robot came at him, the same he saw on the recordings some time ago. DUM-E. It reached out to him its claw, Winter held out his hand with a tracker. Apparently it already received a guidance of what to do. Pressed something, then moved, mechanism was shifted and the band fell to the floor. And then it began to poke him with its claw, as if trying to tell him to go and do his job. That he has to bring his creator back home.

"I won't come back without him, buddy. I'll bring him back safe and sound."

"We keep you at your word, Soldier." FRIDAY said opening some door. She trusted him, and he won't fail her. "Door leads to the garage. I advise to take some unobtrusive car."

According to Winter, all the cars were too extravagant. In the corner of the garage, however, he spotted a motorcycle. Somewhere nearby, on the shelf lied gleaming black helmet with a tinted visor. Perfect. FRIDAY guided him also to the desk on which he found a credit card – in case he'll need the money. Garage door opened, and thus he left the Stark's Tower. He just didn't know where to go, where to start... The helmet apparently had installed speakers, he heard FRIDAY's voice.

"Samples that HYDRA stole half a year ago were a very rare virus. Based on the first Extremis, but modified to fight it. It was created to fight against AIM, but it wasn't officially approved. That was the last recorded track of HYDRA's activity. I do not know if this will help."

"HYDRA worked on the genetics and played with biochemistry in only two places... One was the original base of HYDRA, Siberia. Now there is nothing there. Second was Canada, but it was small and shit place, maybe it changed... FRIDAY, you're genius."

"Special thanks to my Master."

Winter smiled to himself, adding more speed. Skillfully avoided all the obstacles on the road. You whore, slow down, Bucky's voice echoed in his mind.

"Shut up already."

It was strange to feel the freedom once again. Especially, when he had a very important mission to accomplish. Tony Stark, his mission. However, Canada was huge... He was searching carefully, but found nothing. After two exhausting weeks he was badly in need of sleep, so he stopped at a hostel in a small town surrounded by the forests. He took a room, for the first time using Stark's card. Since the hostel was far away from luxuries, they didn't check the data of their customers. The woman just gave him an odd look, he smiled to her as kindly as he could – so she wouldn't gain more suspicions. He was dirty, hair stuck out in all directions, and the clothes were in shreds. He looked like a typical beggar... who paid with a limitless credit card... Not weird at all. He got the keys, but instead of going straight into the shower, he went outside to buy clothes and a razor. When he left the store with his items he heard someone's voice in a dark alley. He stopped near, pretending to checking the messages on a phone.

"Dunno, haven't seen him since Rumlow took him to his room," the voice belonged to a man. It was low, rough, guy was probably old.

"Hahaha if they gave me Stark's ass, I'd also prefer to keep him in bed," the second male voice was much younger.

"Apparently they want to temper Brock for what he's doing. I wonder what that psycho done this time."

"Dunno, but the new leader will sort things up with him."

"The new leader?"

"You haven't heard? We got someone new. Anyway... ya'll meet him in a week."

Winter glanced towards the dark alley, then went to the hostel. He heard enough. He was close to his target. Since HYDRA is here, in the town, the base must be near. He took a hot shower, shaved himself and tired fell onto bed. The last thing he thought about was that HDYRA has a new leader now, and Tony is with Rumlow. He gave control to Bucky for whole week. He had to regenerate. He also had to wait.

A week has passed quite peacefully. Bucky did nothing suspicious and stayed out of sight, though he was asked several times in the bar if he's from HYDRA. No matter what would he reply it'd be bad, so he shrugged and left. He didn't understand why Winter wants to wait whole week, since the base was near, he didn't get a response when he asked. And when the seven days had passed, Winter bluntly took control when Bucky took a nap in the middle of the day.

Reaching the HYDRA's base took him less than two hours, it was located in the middle of some jungle. Well hidden among all the flora. From a distance he noticed two guards walking around. He came as close as he could, so as not to get noticed. He waited until one of them came close enough to whack him with his left hand in the back of the head. Guy immediately fell dead, didn't even squeak. Winter snorted taking the rifle, dagger, plain pistol and jacket from the dead man. He also took goggles, mask and gloves. He had to cover his face and hand when he entered inside, so no one could recognize him. Good thing was that Bucky was sleeping inside, otherwise he would fall into a frenzy 'cause Winter is killing again. Was there another choice, though? Besides, this is HYDRA. He entered the base unnoticed. He went a few floors down. They definitely keep my baby somewhere at the bottom of this shit. As he walked down the hall he saw a familiar face. Brock Rumlow was arguing with a woman in the green. They were so absorbed by insulting each other, that they didn't even pay attention to him. He stopped near them, so he could hear what this mess is about. In a small town, back in that alley they said Rumlow is taking care of Tony, maybe he could hear some useful information. However, someone interrupted him.

"Duuuude, it's dark like in the ass and you're wearing goggles? You crazy?" some guy spoke standing just in front of him with crossed arms over the chest, he was taller than him by a head. "No matter. Soon we meet with new leader. What'cha think, who it gonna be? Maybe Madame Hydra? Dat sexy beast."

Winter shrugged, hardly interested. Segment 4B, the Cryo chamber, came to his ears. He must go there. The guy who accosted him, however, didn't give up. Still talking shit, he took him up by the arm and dragged somewhere. They were walking right behind still arguing duo. Not this way. Winter gritted his teeth and pushed strange guy towards the narrow storeroom on the sidelines.

"Ya man. Here, now? Seriously you're weirdo," the guy laughed putting his greasy hands on Winter's hips. The Soldier only snorted and slit the other guy's throat with a dagger stolen earlier. He didn't had time to realize what was happening. Stupid loser.

Along the way, he got rid of every camera he noticed. The door to the segment 4B were closed, there was no lock. But was that panel which required access code. One mistake and all this will be for nothing... He closed his eyes, trying to recall his codebreaking training. From what he could remember, these doors could be easily opened from the inside... no alarm and such. He glanced at the ceiling. Vents. Before he entered them, he kicked two dead bodies lying on the floor. They also had no idea from which side death came. Now they were paiting a sticky red image on the floor with their own blood. For a few good minutes he pushed his way through the metal, dirty tube. He finally reached his destination. Room full of computer screens, all snowy. Probably the cameras. At the center of the room stood cryogenic chamber and inside was the love of his life. Tony. Tears themselves came to his eyes, he fell on the knees before him. Suddenly three figures emerged from the darkness. Three surprised guys raised the guns and aimed them at him. Winter just laughed silently and immediately found himself behind them. He stabbed one with a dagger in the neck, smashed skull of the second with left hand and offered third guy a bullet in the head. Poor opponents. It was too easy. Then he noticed that the door of the room were wide open. His heart pounded loud. Something was wrong. They noticed. He walked towards the chamber. Metal hinges kept the genius in place, he grabbed them with his left hand. They didn't break right away, he had to pull them a few times. He caught a frail body of his lover in his arms, when he slid out of this cold box.

"You're safe now," he whispered, brushing his cheek against the top of Tony's head. The world suddenly ceased to exist. It was just him and Tony. "I'm taking you with me."

He took his baby in his arms and quickly left the segment 4B. He thought that leaving the HYDRA's base will be much more difficult, than entering it, especially when someone had figured out something is wrong... But no. He just saw Rumlow walking down the hall. He looked upset, a broken camera tightly gripped in his hand. Winter instantly hid both of them in the cavity of a door. Fortunately, Brock was so upset that he didn't notice them hiding in the shadows. He sighed with a relief and fled by the same corridor from which the man came. Now all HYDRA members were on their meeting with the new leader, so he met noone else on his way. Once he left the building, he strapped Tony to motorcycle which he left around fifteen minutes away from the base. He put a helmet on the genius' head, wrapped his hands around own waist and handcuffed his wrists. He couldn't allow his baby to fell. He made sure that everything is ok and drove off. Didn't stop in the same town, he couldn't. Too dangerous. On top of that, night had came, he wasted a lot of time in HYDRA's place and didn't even notice that. It all happened so fast... He felt a body behind him shifts, Tony was coming back to life from the frozen world. He stopped on the way at some gas station, when he started to run out of fuel. The guy who helped him refuel was staring at him like he was some crazy mofo. Maybe he was. Blood on his clothes, blood in his hair... Winter felt that he probably wanted to call the police, but for his own safety, he didn't. Good. One corpse less. One less thing to worry for Bucky. One step closer to safety.

Around the morning when the air turned cooler, he decided to stop at another hostel. This one he knew very well, he stayed there a lot during his missions for HYDRA. Place was gross and suspicious, but they also kept a discretion. Tony needed to warm up and rest, they were safe.

And I don't know where I'm going
But I know it's gonna be a long time
'Cause I'll be leaving in the morning
Come the white wine bitter sunlight

Wanna hear your beating heart tonight
Before the bleeding sun comes alive
I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight
And hear my beating heart one last time

I can't face this now everything has changed
I just wanna be by your side, here's hoping we collide ***