Don't tell me... [that you love me]

What if I fall? Oh,but my darling,what if you fly? *

He was firmly pushed forward. His hands were cuffed at his back, he hit a cold floor with his cheek. He laughed, when someone pulled his hair back. He felt the blood in mouth, his lips were cut. Eyelids were swollen, he barely could see. Everything hurt and if it wasn't for the pain, he would laugh loud maniacally. Laugh straight in their faces. He hissed when he got kicked in the spine. He spat blood on the shoes of someone, who was crouching in front of him. He felt a blow on the right side of the head. He slumped to the floor, trying to stop the world from spinning. The guy who was with him in the room picked him up by the collar of his jacket.

"I'll ask again, where is he?! How could you let this happen?!" he heard a scream, someone was upset here. He opened his eyes and lifted the corners of the mouth upward, laughed with a rough voice. "He should be MINE. How many times I said I'd be better Handler..."

"Your loverboy took him," he uttered these words with difficulty, his throat still burning after the previous tortures and laughing. "Bucky."

"Bucky was, and still is in Stark's Tower, in New York. Your argument is invalid."

"Cameras recorded him before he destroyed them."

"I've seen recordings. Guy had a mask, it could be anyone. And you know what? It wasn't Bucky," he said through gritted teeth. "You'll find him, Rumlow."

Again, he was pushed to the floor. Again, a guy with blue eyes and blond hair, leaned over him. He put the syringe to Brock's neck, and applied something. It hurt. It burned his skin. It itched. He couldn't describe this feeling. He coughed, spitting out another portion of the blood. He knew very well what he was injected. It was the accelerator.

"You'll find him, you got it? I want Stark back. You have a month. Only I have the antidote, only I can stop your death," the man said those words with a fake tenderness. Brock felt his hand on the cheek. He pulled back, giving him a crooked smile.

"Then you will have to make business with my tombstone, Rogers," he rose to a sitting position, looked straight into blue eyes. "Screw you. You'll never get him."

He felt another blow. Then there was only darkness.

"How many?"

"Six? Seven? Didn't count."

"Were you able to achieve anythin' at all?"

"Go to the bedroom. To the right."

So he went down the narrow corridor to the right. He had no idea what was going on for the last few days, but he woke up in some dive, on the dirty floor of the hallway. Moisture in the air was unbearable. On his way he spotted many suspiocious types. He didn't like this place, but Winter said it's safe here. Nor did he know what Winter did, but looking at the blood-stained clothes certainly it wasn't anything innocent. He wasn't happy about this, but was ready to forgive him – even if these victims would be more than ten – if he was able to obtain some useful information. Bedroom door were half open. He pushed them and went inside. And then the world has ceased to exist, his heart skipped a beat. Unsteadily he walked over to the bed, on which slept most wonderful creature in the world. He reached out a trembling hand in front of himself, and laid it down on a dark hair.

"Tony..." he whispered, crouching at the edge, tears welled up in his eyes. Then he saw that Tony is handcuffed to the steel bars. "Why is he chained?"

HYDRA froze him. I didn't know how he'd react after waking, didn't want him to run away.

"You chained my baby to bed...?!"

Ours, Winter corrected him, while Tony muttered something and tightened his grip on the sheet.

"Ours," Bucky repeated, leaning over the latter. He placed a little kiss on Tony's cheek. When he pulled away, big brown eyes stared intensely at him. He woke up.

"Who are you?" a question was asked, Tony frowned seeing his chained wrists. He jerked his hands as if to make sure it's not a big joke, hissed in pain. Then he sent Bucky a horrified look. "What you want?"

"Sweetie, calm down," Bucky began, trying to somehow calm the other man, who tried to free himself desperately. "Calm down, I'll unchain you, okay?"

Tony froze, stopped moving. Bucky sat astride him and reached for the keys to the inside pocket of his shirt, he felt as the genius was watching his every move. He felt his insecurity, his fear. When the pressure on the wrists disappeared, the fear left brown eyes.

"Where am I?"

"In the hostel. Guys are bringin' ladies here to mass rape them. We're safe, nobody comes here."

"...you brought me here to rape me...?" the genius eyebrows went up, fear came back to the brown eyes and started to dance with another feeling - disbelief. Again he began to pull and jerk. When Bucky finally realized what he said, he grabbed Tony's wrists and pinned them above his head. "Get off me, you perv!"

"No! I'm sorry, it sounded bad. I don't want to rape you. I won't harm you. Dammit, stop strugglin'!" he growled and leaned over the latter, their noses almost touched.

"It's you... You killed them..." the genius whispered, looking straight into Bucky's eyes.

"Huh?"

"What you want from me? Came to finish the job, aye?! Only me left, right?!" he yelled, tears shining in the corners of his eyes.

"Tony... what... what are you...?"

"Howard and Maria Stark. My parents."

"Seriously? From everything that happened you had to recall THIS...? And I thought we were done with this topic..." Bucky's voice trailed off. That hurt. Why this? Why not a pleasant moment from Wakanda? He let go of Tony's hands, but still sat on him. "Tony, listen... HYDRA forced me, I didn't want this... I was just followin' the orders... HYDRA used me... they brainwashed me... programmed me... Tony, look... a lot has changed since then, you helped me... Tony, I'd never harm you... I... I love you."

"...What...? You're insane!" the genius screamed, knocking Bucky to the floor and quickly ran out of the room. However, he didn't look as scared as he was right when he woke up. He was rather confused and lost. Or so it seemed.

Bucky ran after him, shouting at him to stop. At the reception desk he reached his target, now limp in someone's arms, a handkerchief at his nose. Stranger pushed Tony's body onto him. He quickly caught the genius, sending the odd guy a meaningful, unpleasant look.

"You lost something," the stranger said in a thick, low voice. He also threw him some small, weird box. "Chloroform and lube if you need it."

What the actual fuck? Bucky sighed, tucking the box into his shirt pocket. He spotted something disturbing in this guy. Tattoo on his forearm, HYDRA's sign. Fuck. He nodded his head and quickly went back to the room. He had to pack their things - mainly weapons and some food on the way forward. They couldn't stay here anymore. When he packed everything into small bags that hung on motorcycle's sides, he pinned Tony and drove off. He didn't know what to do next, his baby recalled the worst, and HYDRA saw them. It won't be easy, but he can't give up. After several hours of driving, he stopped somewhere on the side of a wilderness, he ran out of fuel. Body behind him moved nervously. He glanced over his shoulder at Tony, but tinted visor hid the hazel eyes. Tho he could tell Tony wasn't sleeping anymore.

"You still want to run?"

"...not anymore."

"Changed your mind?"

"You'd catch me anyway. You're an ex-Asset. You track your targets pretty well. A perfect murderer. Besides, we're somewhere in the woods, you going to kill me here? You could have chosen a better place."

Bucky couldn't stand this anymore. He immediately unchained Tony's wrists, stepped down from the motorcycle and freed him from the remaining straps. He wanted to scream, he felt a burning pain in his heart. The genius lifted the visor, gave him a frightened look which only increased the pain he felt. Tony was scared of him... No, that wasn't fear. That was something else. But he always was bad at reading the feelings. Winter said nothing, he wasn't going to help him either. The situation was hopeless.

"Then go," he waved his hand in front of him, pointing on the empty, dark road. "If you think I want to hurt you – run! Here ya go! I'd never hurt you 'cause I fucking love you! I'd rather give myself to HYDRA than let them have you!"

"Prove that you speak the truth!"

"You want proof? There you go," he walked over to Tony, gripped him around the waist and kissed him. He expected him to struggle, to fight and try to escape... but he didn't. Instead, the genius stood quietly, parted his lips when Bucky licked them. He grunted, feeling as heat spreads over his body. He wanted this for so long... He slid his hand under Stark's top, he felt the warmth of the skin under his fingertips. Tony sighed leaning into his touch, immediately tilted his head to the side when Bucky started to kiss and suck the spot just below his ear, leaving a mark.

"You giving me a hickey?"

"I'll try leavin' a mark with my lips, so no one will touch you," **

"Dunno why, but I believe you. Or at least I want to believe you. Actually this is odd. I feel like I know you, but... you have a name?"

"James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky. The other me is Winter, you named him," he murmured into Tony's ear.

"Okay, James. If you don't have bad intentions what the hell are we doing in the middle of the woods? Looking for mushrooms? Bad timing, it's dark," Tony slightly pulled back, looking closely at the other man.

"I ran out of fuel..." he whispered, barely audible.

"How... run out?"

"I broke your motorcycle. Fuel gauge died."

"THIS is MY bike? How you dared to break it?" Tony asked, trying to sound serious, but soft laughter betrayed him. Bucky could have sworn that this laughter was the most beautiful he'd ever heard.

"I love you," he confessed once again, looking straight into hazel eyes.

"Listen, James. I know I said I feel like I know you. And maybe I did know you long time ago. I don't remember anything and I'll never will. So Brock said... so said everybody..."

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you," Bucky interrupted him grabbing both his hands which he put on his own chest, close to the heart. "I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday."***

For a few long minutes hazel eyes stared at the gray, led a silent conversation. Then the conversation was continued with their lips. Tony could not remember, they could take everything from him, but they would never reach his heart. Right? Although the genius never told him how he felt about him, the day before accident he didn't even want to listen what Bucky tried to say. Don't tell me that you love me. They pulled away from each other only when the owls began to hoot loudly several minutes later and it was quite annoying. Bucky lifted his baby and sat him back on the motorcycle. He wrapped him in his own jacket so he'd stay warm. With left hand he grabbed a handlebar and thus they went to town located a few kilometers away.

"TONY STARK?! We all thought you were dead!" the receptionist began, as soon as they entered a hostel. She was clearly excited by Tony's presence, and for Bucky she saved her suspicious glances. His baby, however, was disoriented, so he grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.

"We need a room," Bucky said harshly, interrupting her further arguments. Needless to say, she wasn't happy, right? Reluctantly, she handed him the card room. Probably she was waiting for something like you made a mistake, we'd like to take two separate rooms not one together. However, her glances annoyed him way too much, he gave everything to Tony and sent him to their room. "Any problem?"

"You are the problem. You're the murderer, James Barnes, right? What Tony Stark is doing with you? I'm calling the police," she said reaching for the phone, but Bucky grabbed her by the throat with his left hand.

"Just try," he growled forcing her to meet his eyes. "Before you'll do anythin' I'll break your neck. Keep that in mind. I don't want police here, and you prob wanna live?"

The woman was terrified, nodded her head slightly. He released her, turned and went to the room. Walking down the hall he realized what he just did, what he was capable of doing. But it was Winter who always acted this way, not him... right? Right? He can no longer trust himself...

Get a grip, echoed in his head.

"It was you!" Bucky growled, leaning his shoulder against the wall.

Me? Nope. Tho I must say you gave quite a show there, pleasure to look at.

"I..."

Did you realize it's not only about you anymore? It's pretty normal you want to protect him. Besides, you're tired. I gave you maybe two hours of sleep in that brothel, not even this much. Go to him, get some sleep, fix yourself.

Bucky shook his head, rubbed his eyes and walked into the room through the open door. He spotted a card on the table, Tony left it. From the bathroom he heard the sound of splashing water.

I have a date with a tub full of hot water.

He smiled to himself, threw a denim shirt on a chair and collapsed on the bed. Tony was slowly recovering, in any case, he made such an impression. Bucky put his face in the pillow and closed his eyes. His life rushed forward with such speed that he could hardly catch up. Not so long ago he was an assassin. Not so long ago he tried to kill his best friend. Not so long ago he was in HYDRA's base, he pulled Stark's frail body from the cryo chamber. Not so long ago they both were in Wakanda, in the workshop, they talked about books and technological opportunities. They talked... more like Tony was speaking, and Bucky was listening. But he liked this system. The genius spoke vigorously, the way he was laughing... and Bucky was observing everything that was happening.

When he was about to fall asleep, he heard a scream, a loud splash, and then a dull thud. He immediately jumped up from the place and stormed into the bathroom. Tony was in bath, clutching his chest, he couldn't breathe. Big eyes were full of fear, looked at him pleadingly. Panic attack. Without thinking much, Bucky jumped into the bath in clothes and hugged him tightly.

"Shhh... I'm here, Tony. You're safe. Shhh..." he stroked the short, dark hair, clinging to the latter. He was already soaking wet. No matter. "It's all right. Breathe with me."

He rocked with him back and forth, repeating the soothing words into his ear. On the one hand he wanted to ask what caused the attack, but on the other hand he didn't want Tony to think about it. He rested a chin on his shoulder and waited until the genius will calm down. Then he told him to get out of the bath, take a towel and go to the room while he himself will clean the mess. Tony looked embarrassed, he didn't like when people saw him in such a state. When he left, Bucky had time to take off the wet clothes, hang them on a heater and wipe the floor.

He had nothing to wear though, so he wrapped a clean towel around his hips and went to the room. But he wasn't quite prepared for what he found in the bedroom. Tony was lying on the bed, on his belly, in Bucky's shirt which had hard time to cover roundy buttcheeks. Towel was somewhere on the floor. Room was dim, light from the bedside lamp was weak. Bucky swallowed hard and as if hypnotized stepped forward. Towel started to have problem to cover up his hard-on. He stood there for a long moment, until Tony didn't realize he's no longer alone in the room. He met the hazel eyes.

"I'm sorry I took your shirt. I was cold. Want it back?"

"...nh," he stared at Tony speechless, surveying him from top to bottom and back. When the genius stood up, he bit his lower lip, trying to control himself. The shirt was buttoned, but he already ripped it off in his mind. "No."

"I guess you like what you see," Tony said, smiling playfully.

"Like?" Bucky asked, his mouth dry. He was surprised how low and husky his voice was. Towel's rough material painfully teased his erection. He hissed when Tony put a hand on him and squeezed his fingers. Seconds later he found himself lying on the bed, with his back on the cold sheets. Stark sat astride him and winked at him while playing with the button of the shirt. Bucky couldn't stand this any longer, he stretched out his left hand and tore the material, buttons flew across the floor. With a flesh hand he stroked the skin on Tony's chest, it was slightly rough there, scarred. Under that skin was a small plate of vibranium, that was covering the hole that arc reactor had left. He rose up to the sitting position and kissed that place, glancing up. Big, brown eyes were full honesty, trust and excitement. He was pushed back on the pillows, he pulled Tony with himself and kissed him. He switched their places, so Tony was lying beneath him. With wet kisses he went down below the neck, the collarbone and chest, circled around his navel for a bit, until he came to the lower abdomen, and when he finally was about to take him into his mouth, suck and taste him...

"James... James?" Tony's voice echoed in his head. However, it was distant. Something suddenly shook him by the arm.

He was on the bathroom floor, wrapped in a towel. It was a dream. He had to fall asleep from exhaustion. Tony was leaning over him with a worried expression. He was wearing his shirt, just like in his dream. His brown eyes were looking somewhere down, he followed them. He saw a very nice, huge white tent made from a towel. He sent the genius an awkward smile. "Surely you had a nice dream, didn't want to interrupt. But you can't sleep here, on the floor. Come to bed."

"To bed?" Bucky asked, trying to hide the surprise in his voice.

"Well, yeah. To bed. Do you want to first... you know..." Tony glanced back down at the towel.

"Give me five minutes."

Tony stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Bucky sighed with relief, hitting the back of his head against the wall. He slid his hand under the towel and closed his eyes, thinking back to his dream.

When he dealt with his problem he went to the bedroom. He silently sneaked under the covers, where he found a familiar body. Tony was reversed back to him. Bucky gently touched his shoulder, moving closer to him.

"Can I... hug...?" he asked hesitantly, not knowing what answer to expect. He just hoped he won't be kicked out next moment. Tony looked at him sideways.

"Sure."

So Bucky put his left hand under his head, and cuddled up to him. The smell of shower gel and shampoo hit his nostrils, the smell of Tony. Unable to stop himself he kissed the genius' neck several times. He neither said anything, nor he did move. But a moment later he froze and Bucky could feel it.

"I thought u dealt with your problem," he said, somewhat turning to face him.

"What..." Bucky looked at him like he was crazy, and then it hit him. Once again he was hard as hell, but this time he was poking Stark's butt. "...fuck."

"Tell me what you dreamed about?" Tony shook his head, barely holding back a laugh.

"...I'd rather show you," he risked, moving a hand from his chest down to the abdomen. Tony sighed, slightly thrusting back his hips. And then he felt it. Stark's boner. He looked at him with wide eyes, surprised.

"Perhaps I also had a nice dream earlier," he laughed and turned to Bucky, who immediately kissed him.

"I feel like I fell asleep in that fuckin' bathroom again. If it's a dream don't you dare to wake me up."

But it wasn't a dream. His wishes finally came true. Tony Stark was his in every way possible. Moaning beneath him, giving himself to Bucky...

"May I ask what caused yesterday's attack?" Bucky asked in the morning.

"Between the first Wipes someone came to my room to torment me. No big deal."

"Who?" long silence occured after this question, and when Bucky wanted to ask again – he finally got his answer.

"Steve Rogers."

"Tony... Steve would never do that. He's not with HYDRA. I know we all were fightin', but he wouldn't hurt you. HYDRA made you think this way, but it's not true. It's just their brainwashin' thing. He never been there, trust me."

Tony raised his head and looked straight at Bucky, sent him a warm smile.

No one will believe you, Tony. You'll be all alone.

Without you my world is darkness
I won't let go again!

Open up my eyes, I need your light again
Burning me inside, I need your love again
I can feel our hearts collide
I can feel our hearts ignite
Open up my eyes, I'm yours again!

I'm never letting go
I'm yours again!****