Don't tell me... [that you love me]

If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.*

- Wakanda, 2 months later -

"Virginia 'Pepper' Potts has been murdered last night, during a regular visit to the Stark Tower." said a woman on TV. He switched the channel, but every other were displaying the same information. Pepper Potts is dead.

"Who the hell is she?" he asked loud at some point.

"She was Stark's fiancee, CEO of SI," came a female voice from the kitchen.

"Tony had a fiancee?"

"It is assumed that eight months ago, Anthony's Edward Stark plane crash wasn't an accident, and he was also the victim of the assassination..." He turned off the TV, threw the remote against the wall, it shattered. The woman brought him hot tea and sandwiches.

"They never found the body and everyone think he's dead," he growled and kicked the back of the couch on which he way lying.

"Bucky..." the woman began, and stroked his hand sympathetically. She accepted Tony is dead too. He was dead for all of them. They put a tombstone in a cemetery for the great inventor and mind.. Or whatever. An empty coffin. But Bucky still believed... he felt that Tony somehow survived, that he lives somewhere out there... They flew to the crash site the next day after the accident, but couldn't find anything. "...Tony is dead."

He rose from his place like he's been scalded, gave Natasha a contemptuous look and left. Tony lives. That's it. He must...

- HYDRA -

Someone put a hand on his knee. Who is this? He shifted, after a while he realized that he was chained to a chair. His eyes opened wide, he panicked, got scared, he wanted to get away. The man kneeling before him, patted him calmly on the thigh.

"Shhh... stay still, I'll unchain you. Do you remember me?" the man asked, entering the code on the side of the metal hinges.

"Brock Rumlow. My Handler," he replied without hesitation. He had free hands and feet now, but had no strength to move up. Everything hurt him, he was tired, he wanted to sleep. Tears themselves ran down his cheeks. It hurts. It hurts.

"Shhh, Tony. It's okay. Everything will be fine," Brock patted him on the head, then picked him up and took to their shared quarters. Along the way they encountered a woman in a green hair, he thanked her for something. He said something that he has a huge debt for what she had done. She just shook her head. Tony had no idea what it could be, he didn't remember anything.

It was the first time Tony saw his Handler's bedroom. From what he could remember – he was never allowed to enter here. There was a huge bed in the middle and pleasing to the eye gloom lightened by crimson lamp. Brock helped him to undress and covered him with a blanket. Bedding was soft, pleasant to the touch, he merged with it, quietly purring. His Handler sat on the edge of the bed and stroked his head.

"You haven't sleep for a week, how you feelin'? Want something to drink? Or just sleep?"

"I haven't sleep for a week?" Tony asked, his memory was in pieces.

"We were on a mission, when we returned they took you on interrogation, then you landed on chair."

"I fucked up?"

No. Everything went fine, mission was completed," Rumlow reassured him. Tony asked him for a glass of water, but immediately fell asleep as soon as his handler left the room.

He woke up two days later. His Handler wasn't home, so he took a shower, ate cereal with milk and went back to bed. He had no idea where he could find Brock, and he didn't want to leave a safe place for no reason. He noticed a small note and communicator on a cabinet.

If you'll need me.

He got a communicator, the first thing that was really his. His Handler's number was saved into the contacts. He could call him anytime, but didn't want to disturb him. With huge smile on a face, he clutched his item. He crawled back under the covers, snuggling up to the pillow. Nothing else to do anyway. Sleep came fast.

When he woke up again, it was much better. He felt someone's fingers stroking his cheek, purred in response. He heard laughter. He opened his eyes, but whole bedroom was surrounded by darkness.

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. You really spent all this time in bed?"

"Sleeping Beauty was awakened with a kiss," he said, stretching lazily in place. For a long while silence entered the room, Tony got scared he said something wrong. Panic seized him. He rose up a bit and felt warm weight on himself. A lamp on the nightstand shimmered with a red light. Before his eyes there was a face of his Handler. He instantly froze, didn't know what he could expect. Will he hit him? Yet, that panic inside him was soon covered with a different feeling. It was warm, oddly pleasant. For some reason he wanted to pull Brock, but couldn't do it. He bit his lip.

"Kiss, hm?" Brock asked, raising an eyebrow and laughed softly. Tony nodded slowly. Yes. Yes. Yes.

His Handler's lips were just millimeters from his own. He couldn't resist, fuck the consequences. He kissed him. He was afraid that Brock will move away, but instead he kissed back, slightly deepening it. Tony gasped, grabbed him by the shirt and pulled on the pillows. Rumlow gently bit the genius' lower lip. With wet kisses he pointed the way to the collarbone. Stark moaned, nervously moving his hips, brushing himself against his Handler's thigh. He felt a hand slip under his shirt, fingers touching his nipples. Fingers that were replaced soon after by lips and skillful tongue. Tony's spine arched, he wanted more, he wanted to touch Buck-...... what? And who the hell was that? Nevermind. A temporary dizziness. He caught the other man's short hair and pulled him back for a kiss. Then... a communicator started to beep horribly loud.

"Turn it off," Tony muttered, trying to keep Brock in bed but failed.

"Can't," his Handler replied dryly, and answered the call. "Here's Rumlow... Yeh, I'll be there," he hung up, put communicator in a pocket and looked at Tony. "We have a job."

Tony muttered unhappy, like a small child that didn't get his gifts. Rumlow laughed, giving him sincere, affectionate smile. He threw him clean clothes on the bed and left.

"Will you accompany us?"

"They don't trust you anymore," said the woman in the green hair. Viper. Or Madame Hydra, whatever you prefer to call her. "What did you do this time?"

"Perhaps I got lost somewhere between the first lie, and the second," Rumlow replied, quite frankly.

The last days he spent in a small room with one of HYDRA's leaders, and with group of sciencists. They blamed him for everything they could, mainly... the Asset and experiments. They asked a lot of questions, and he... he lied. He couldn't tell them the truth. If they found out what relationship was between him and Tony...
Biggest problem with lying is that you have to have a good memory. Lying is like building a house of cards: each new card must be placed more carefully; even for a moment you can't look away from the unstable structure on which you intend to rely on. You won't include the little detail of the previously accumulated falsehood - and everything will collapse. Lie has another special feature: it never ends on one card.** Perhaps he made a mistake somewhere and they noticed. Wanting to keep Tony close could cost him a lot. At what point he stopped to be his own reputation?

"...Brock?" someone tugged his jacket sleeve. Tony. Tony Stark. He pulled a confused man to himself and hugged him. He won't allow anyone to hurt him. If he'll have to, then he...

"What's the mission?" he asked glancing at Viper. She just shook her head in resignation, she was probably explaining everything when he was daydreaming.

"Someone attacked the Hydra base in Nevada. We need to recover the documents and blow it into the air."

"Let's go then."

However, the mission didn't go according to plan. Of course, they recovered documents. They scanned them through communicators to own a digital version, physical ones were burnt. Whole base was now covered in a smoke, they barely could see each other in this mess. Tony went through all the rooms in the basement, it seemed that he found nothing more... The doors and walls were all in bullet holes. People who attacked this base had to be armed to the teeth. Not to mention the fact that HYDRA left here only a dozen people. They all were dead now. Well, it wasn't the Main Base after all. From a metal drawer fell out some more documents. Stark. Stark? Wasn't this his last name? He opened the files and saw photos of some people, a woman and a man. Maria and Howard Stark. He had no idea who it was, but they shared the same last name. Super soldier serum.... Extremis. Again this. He put a communicator near, scanned the files and tossed them into a corner. Fuck extremis. He pulled a lighter from his back pocket and set fire to everything, then left the explosives. Meantime, he got a message from his Handler to get out of the building 'cause everything can collapse any moment. Something went wrong and several sectors exploded before time. He ran from the room to the fire escape. Elevators weren't working anymore. They met just before the main entrance, and when they thought it's all over and they can finally go home, floor broke beneath their feet. Viper and Brock jumped in time, but Tony was standing still in a place, frozen. He couldn't move, even though he really wanted to. Something paralyzed him, face of a woman from those files flashed before his eyes. Maria Stark. He heard someone shouting from afar. A sewage pipe broke somewhere over their heads, cold water poured out on them. Tony fell somewhere in the abyss, he tried to catch something, but the water made everything terribly slippy. The last he remembered was a horrified look of his Handler. Then the darkness swallowed everything.

He woke up outside the building when it was already over. He was sitting on the ground, tightly nestled in Brock's arms, who was reassuringly swaying from side to side. But he was calming more himself, than Tony.

Viper caught the rope on the ceiling and jumped after him and pulled him out. She saved him. She was now sitting on a half-ruined stone wall, smiled at him when their eyes met. After a while she walked slowly towards them and crouched.

"How you feeling, Tony? Everything okay?" she asked, and he just nodded. Nothing is okay. He was tired, his head ached, he almost died. He hid his face in Brock's neck. "And you, Rumlow?"

"That debt is growing..." his Handler murmured with a low, coarse voice like he had trouble to speak.

"Want to pay it off? Hot coffee and a good dinner. Could also use a bed. You know the area, what you suggest?"

"Well... I have a house at Lake Tahoe... Maybe not luxuries, but no one will look after us there. Somewhere off the way was a restaurant."

"They pack takeout? I don't want to stay there for too long."

"Sure," he replied, and Viper went towards the car.

"Brock." Tony said suddenly.

"Yes?"

"You ever had a long hair?"

"You don't like short anymore?" Rumlow laughed quietly, answering a question with a question.

"Or... did you had a colored contact lenses? Grey ones?"

"Why these questions?" Brock was pretty confused at this point.

"Just..."

"I never had long hair, I don't use lens."

"Then who is this...?"

"Who?" he asked moving Stark slighly away from himself, to look at him. But Tony said nothing more, he lost consciousness.

They drove a black Hummer, which he had stolen earlier from a parking lot. They traveled along some old, long-forgotten route among the trees. It turned out that the restaurant they were talking about earlier, ceased to exist some time ago. The building was overgrown with vines, walls were demolished. Whole area looked like after the war. But what to expect having a HYDRA base so close... all in all, a former base. Now the rubble and ash remains there. In less than half an hour, evening had came and they found themselves on the banks of the lake. There stood a wooden, storey cottage. It looked abandoned and old. A few meters before it, the bridge led to the water. By the light of the setting sun, this place looked really magical. They could hear only the gentle sound of water and birds singing. Brock kicked the front door, which immediately dropped out of the hinges under such pressure. He didn't had the keys, so he had to deal with it somehow. They pulled out of the trunk several blankets and food leftovers – few skewers, and some veggies. It wasn't much, but it had to do. The evening was pleasantly warm, they lit a fire outside and the three of them sat down, sipping hot coffee. Tony placed himself next to Brock, head resting on the other man's shoulder, lost in his own thoughts. Viper took place in front of them, watching carefully. Stark apparently didn't care, clinging to his Handler for good. And Brock... somewhere at the bottom of his heart, remorse was storing. He felt guilty. Tomorrow morning they will have to return to the base...

They ate everything they had. Then he brought Viper to the guest's room, Tony to a small bedroom that was his years ago, and he went on a half-eaten by moths couch. Covered with a blanket, he closed his eyes, but he couldn't fall asleep. In the end, he threw a blanket on the floor, upset, and went outside. He sat on the platform, cross-legged, and lifted his head up. The darkness of the night was brightened by a million stars sparkling in the sky, full moon reflecting in the water. He could hear the wolves howling in the distance. What if morning would never come? He sighed, laying on a rigid, wooden boards. This place really was magical in its own way... The last time he came here was ages ago, when he killed a man for the first time... He was so young and stupid...

"You could stay here," came a voice from behind. Viper. He didn't move, still staring at the sky. "...together with him."

"Foolish words," he replied in a rough voice, when a woman came up to him.

"No one would find you here. I could go back to base alone, I'd say you both died during the escape."

"You offer me a desertion?" he raised up on his elbows, giving her a strange look.

"Don't say you haven't thought about it... I wouldn't say anything, you know me. I'd give my life for you," she smiled and turned her eyes to the stars. "You got attached."

"What is this bullshit?" he snapped, frowning.

"To Stark. You became attached to him. Back then, when we ran from base, he got a panic attack, nearly died... you didn't want to let go off him. You sat on the ground with him for good few hours, 'till he woke up. Stark is your weak point. I think that they also noticed this..."

"They'll find us," he replied. He wanted to argue about it, he doesn't have weak points... and certainly he doesn't became attached. But he couldn't. Tony for some time ceased to be just a toy for him.

"I'd never guess you have a house in such place. You don't have this written in papers."

"Old times. I wouldn't guess I'll come back here," he paused for a moment and turned his head to the side. "Desertion and escape don't make sense. They'll find us, and if they do, they'll kill us. You know it, I know it, everyone does. I don't care about myself, but... I even thought about leaving him with his best friend. James Rhodes... or whatever his name is..."

"If you stay here..."

"I can't," I just can't.

"I could help you..."

"In the morning we'll be at home," he said dryly, stood up and went back to the hut. On the couch. There is no need to still drag this topic. They will go back to the base. That would be best.

They returned to the base in full silence. Brock's spirit was in the cottage on the lake, Tony was asleep and Viper preferred not to bring uncomfortable topics. After returning they passed the report, as usual Brock lied and made thousand excuses why Tony can't go on chair. Instead, he earned him a scrap shop so he could tinker there. He could not allow the repetition of what happened on the previous mission. He told him to create a flying armor, or even some boosters. Stark nodded, he knew what to do. He locked himself in the workshop where he spent another month.

Brock, as usual, carried a dinner to the Tony's workshop, talked with him briefly and went toward the exit. Their relationship cooled down a little, Rumlow tried to keep his Asset at a distance. For Tony's safety. He wanted to take him in his arms, he wanted him to be close, but couldn't do anything. They would harm him. Viper had told him that they've already noticed... that means his relationship with Stark. They, that means sciencists. Sciencists who kept hearing refusals to brainwash the Asset, refusals for more and more experiments and tests....
He bumped into someone. Viper. She gave him a warm smile.

"How's Tony?" she asked, immediately taking him by the arm.

"Creates weapons. You know, so there's nothing to endanger his life."

"That's good," she dragged him to an empty corridor. "I got a bad news. Scientists have created the accelerator. For you."

"Do I want to know what is this?"

"Accelerator destroy your extremis. In other words, it will kill you. Extremis effects will be reversed and all the damage that was healed will return within a month. You survived a bomb? Within a month you will shatter," she explained in a low voice.

"What...." he leaned back against the wall, feeling like his world is shakin, he wasn't expecting this. "If something happens to me, then Tony... remember I told you I had an idea to leave him with his be-"

"James Rhodes, yes I remember. But this is not an option. James Rhodes works with Steve Rogers."

"I missed something again? What does this have in common?"

"Brock... do you know how HYDRA got Tony? His plane crash?" she sighed, turning away from him. "Steve Rogers gave all the information to HYDRA, the coords. Steve Rogers sold Stark to HYDRA."

Rumlow felt like he got hit in the face by a brick. From what he could remember, Steve was Stark's friend. A lot of facts eluded him recently... But if Steve sold him to HYDRA that would mean... This desertion wasn't this stupid anymore...

"Brock, are you listening to me?"

"Yes?"

"We got another mission. Laboratory in New York. We have to get these samples," she showed him the documents, but he didn't even look at them. He stared into her emerald eyes. "High chance of meeting Steve Rogers there."

"He has only me now..." he finally managed to say. Viper hugged him tightly.

"Take him somewhere after this mission. Do not come back here anymore. I will help as much as I can."

- New York. Mission number 3 -

"Run!" Brock yelled blocking the path of some red-haired woman in black clothes.

"But..."

"Do as I say!"

So Tony ran. The stairs to the top. On the roof. He was shot in the leg by something. Limping, having no longer any other way to escape - he jumped off the roof. He had no time to test his equipment before. He was just hoping that everything will work. Repulsors placed on the soles of shoes and gloves, all powered by arc reactor, that was placed at waist belt. He fell. Fast. Don't panic. When he was about to collide with the ground, he managed to fire repulsors in the shoes. He rose unsteadily above the surface. He laughed triumphantly and turned around in place. The mask he wore dropped down from his face. He landed safely on the sidewalk.

"I see that HYDRA learned to fly" he heard someone's annoyed voice from behind.

"Pfff," he snorted, turning on his heels and pointed a repulsor glove at unwelcomed guest.

"Tony?!" this guy's voice radically changed. Now it was full of disbelief and surprise.

"I see that I'm quite popular. Who are you?" he asked, frowning.

"Tony, baby, it's me..." the man began, but Tony silenced him with a wave of his hand.

He looked vaguely familiar. Gray eyes, wavy hair to his shoulders... Metal arm? He had no idea who this guy was, but he thought he knew him. That was exactly the same guy who haunted him every night in his dreams. But he had no time to think about it any longer, Brock was stuck in the building, he had to get him out. He launched back the repulsors, lifted off the ground and flew out of the sight.

Who are you?

Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be

And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth savin' me

Hurry I’m fallin’***