“So,” James started, a smile all too smug on his face. “You’ve lost, so I get to pick out Erik alias, right?”
Michael made a face of a martyr, but decided any further comments on his part would only prolong this torment.
“Yes, right. So,” James stressed, with a shit eating smile, “I’ve checked out some online naming websites and decided that instead of Henryk Górski you’ll be named... like that!”
James shoved a piece of paper into Michael’s hand and looked at him expectantly, ready to burst out laughing any second now. Michael took a steadying breath - because, really, he walked into that trap himself, happy and smiling like an idiot, so it was only fitting that he had to pay for his mistake.
It wasn’t enough that he had to speak Polish for his next role, McAvoy got to pick his character name as well. Great.
“What the fuck is this!?”
There it was, black printed on white. Letters. He was sure those were letters of the alphabet, or most of them at least, but who decided to put them together? Was it even a name? Or did James just hit keyboard and played a joke on him?
Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz from Chrząszczyżewoszyce.
Oh, fuck.
*
Half a year later Michael was sitting at the movie premiere in Los Angeles, thanking all gods that his lines did not, in fact, forced him to say any Polish names part from short Magda and even simpler Nina. (Quite a nice name to shout in agony, really.)
Not even past the first ten minutes, James showed up on the big screen, dressed in his lilac sweatshirt and with Jennifer, glorious as always.
“Charles,” Raven said, with all seriousness. “You knew where he was, didn’t you?”
Charles looked at his sister, pain in his eyes, as he said :
“Did I knew he was Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz and lived in Chrząszczyżewoszyce?”
Michael choked on his popcorn.
“Yes, Raven, yes I knew.”