Chapter 1
One Saturday, Billy’s father dropped a letter next to his son’s toast. “It’s from Princeton,” he commented. Billy kept his eyes on the table and didn’t stop eating. His father raised an eyebrow and said archly, “Don’t get too excited.”
Only once he’d finished his breakfast did Billy acknowledge the letter at all, picking it up with greasy fingers. His mother, Rebecca, watched with bated breath. He glanced quickly at the address and postmark and then shoved the letter into his pocket.
“Aren’t you going to open it?” Rebecca asked.
Billy shook his head, “I want Teddy to be there.” He wiped his hands on his jeans and then headed for the door.
Rebecca followed him into the corridor, “He gets to find out before we do?”
“Guess so.”
He closed the door behind him on his mother’s indignant face.
It was only a ten-minute walk to Teddy’s place, but Billy could feel the letter burning a hole in his pocket; he jay-walked twice and took a shortcut through a dodgy alley. Teddy greeted him with a kiss and then Billy held the letter up in the air between them, “This came in the post.”
“That’s not that unusual for letters.”
“It’s from Princeton.”
That shut Teddy up. They went through to his tiny kitchen, Billy sitting on the only chair and Teddy perching on the counter. For a few seconds, Billy just stared at the envelope like it was a live bomb.
“For the love of God, just open it, it’s not going to bite you.”
Billy opened the envelope and glanced over the text. “I got in.”
Teddy leapt down, ran over and picked up his boyfriend in a great big hug, “You genius!” He kissed him.
Billy didn’t sound as excited, “You think I should go?”
Teddy looked confused, “Of course. What on earth would stop you?”
Billy looked up at him, his eyes wide.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I don’t want to leave you.”
Teddy let Billy go and said very matter-of-factly, “I’m not going to be the reason you stay: I’m not worth it.”
“You are to me.” Billy liked how dramatic this sounded.
“It’s Princeton, Billy,” Teddy turned around and pulled out two mugs from the cupboard behind him, “You can’t waste an opportunity like that. You’d get to go to New York- that’s where they made Spiderman 2.”
“It’s also where they made Spiderman 3.”
Teddy pulled out some coffee powder and a spoon, heaping the powder into the mugs. “Billy, you’re not thinking straight. If you turn this down you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened. And then you’ll grow to resent me.”
“Never!” Billy couldn’t bear to even think about it.
“And, worse, if we broke up-”
“Who says we’re going to break up?” Billy hated even saying the words.
“-you’d’ve thrown that away for nothing.” Teddy went to pour water from the kettle and then realised he never put it on.
“So you want me to go?”
The way he said it exasperated Teddy. “I don’t want you to go, I think you should go. I’ll miss you like crazy.”
“Come with me!” The idea struck Billy like a bolt of lightning.
“Billy-”
“No, really, you could come and live with me-”
“I can’t afford that. I can barely afford this dump.”
“We’ll live together; it’ll save on rent!” He could see it all in his mind’s eye: a small yet cozy flat; the two of them together, sharing a bed, entwined on a comfortable couch, sitting at a full-size dining table (which could somehow fit in the tiny flat); every day, he would come home, exhausted but content, a weary smile on his face, and Teddy would have cooked. Teddy couldn’t cook, he knew this, but somehow he would have learnt in the intervening months.
"What would I do while I was there?" Teddy asked- he clearly couldn't see Billy's vision of domestic bliss as clearly.
"You'd...well, what will you do while you're here?"
Teddy shrugged, "I'm gonna work at the cafe for a while. Travel a bit. Eventually I'll go to uni."
Billy had always been frustrated by his boyfriend's lack of ambition. "You could do all that in America."
“I can’t get a visa.”
“You don't know that."
"I can't afford a visa."
"My parents will pay.
"No, I'm not taking any more money from them." He put a mug rather forcefully down on the table in front of Billy.
"But you've always wanted to go to the states."
"Yeah, but on my own steam." He tried to inject some more levity into his voice, "And, look, I'll have more reason to go now- I'll probably come and visit you."
"Do you promise?"
"No. In no way. That's not what I said at all, but, Billy, this isn't about me. This is about you. You have to go. You have to."
Billy slid his arms around his boyfriend's waist and pressed his head against his stomach. "I have always wanted to go to America."
"And you can see the statue of Liberty. And Central Park. And-"
"Princeton's actually in New Jersey, not New York."
"Oh." Teddy pursed his lips, "That's significantly less sexy."