Memories
“If you don’t mind me asking..” Steve started but he knew she wouldn’t mind, she never did when he asked something from her, even if it was something personal. Although, she would try to squirm her way out of the question but eventually would give an answer. Natasha gave him a smile and he took that as her answer.
“Why are you here?” He asked, not that he was complaining. He loved having her around again. Just seeing those green eyes made his day light up instantly. When T’Challa had told them that Natasha was coming he could feel his heart stop, in a good way. He hadn’t seen her in two months and it drove him mad. He wanted to know if she was okay and hearing nothing from her just made him overthink things. He assumed she was still with Tony.
She made a face and uncomfortably shifted in her seat on the couch.
“I’m kind of on the wanted list too” She answered and let her eyes fall down to the floor for a second, before she lifted it up again and looked around the room.
She felt slightly guilty about going behind Stark's back and turn sides, but just slightly. She was loyal to those who showed loyalty to her and Stark had done that to her before, in his own twisted ways. So yes, she felt bad. But if she had to be on the government's bad side in order to be with her friends, her family, then be it. She had way too little in her life that brought her happiness and her friends were one of them. If that made her seem like a criminal then she didn't mind. She had been told far worse before.
“What? Why?” Clint asked confused.
“Because I helped Steve and Bucky to escape” She answered and Clint nodded, he knew that already.
“And Tony told Thaddeus Ross about my betrayal and now the government wants to arrest me too” She explained before Clint had the time to say anything. Steve felt a wave of guilty coming to his way. It was his fault that Nat was in this mess.
“It’s not your fault” Natasha said as she recognized the look on Steve’s face.
“I made my own choice, it was my own, not yours. I decided to stand by your side, you didn’t force me to do it” She said and Steve felt slightly better.
Deep down he knew the whole time that Nat would have his back, she always did. He gave him a warm smile which she returned. Bucky watched between the two of them, their attachment towards each other was so obvious it amazed him why neither one of them hadn't already made the first move. He knew Steve had something to stop him, Sharon. Bucky liked her alright but Steve didn't talk about her the same way he talked about Natasha. It sounded more like Sharon was his friend instead of girlfriend, if that's what she even was to him, and he spoke about Natasha in a way he had only talked about one woman, Peggy. He didn't think Natasha was replacing Peggy, hell no one could replace her, but she obviously had a place in his heart.
“So, what are we going to do now?” He spoke up. Steve started to think about Bucky's question before he told his thoughts out loud.
“We need to make the government, and people, to see we aren’t going to hurt anyone. So I suggest we keep on going missions but we can’t draw too much attention to us, we need to do it quietly” Steve said finally.
“We also need to train our abilities, so we have better control over them. We can’t afford another mistake” He continued and glanced at Wanda, who was intently looking at her hands. Then he turned to Natasha, who seemed to follow Steve’s gaze, like he thought she would. He looked at her for a few seconds, like having a silent conversation with her before Nat nodded.
She knew what he wanted her to do. She had to take Wanda under her wing again, train her, make her believe in herself, not be afraid of her powers.
“How are we supposed to get our hands on missions? We don’t have access to anywhere really, so how we know when and where our help is needed?” Sam said. Natasha grinned at him.
“Right, I forgot you had a hobby..” Sam said as he saw her face.
“I still have one of the SHIELD’s memory sticks so I should be able to use that data on our advantage, I just need to get my hands on a working computer” She explained.
“You can use the computer on one of my offices” T’Challa said. Steve nodded in approval.
“Then it’s settled. Nat, go with T’Challa and get our hands on those files. And the rest of us will go to training room and get started, we have a lot of work to do” Steve announced.
“Actually, Wanda, could you come with me?” Natasha asked as they were already making their way out of the room. Steve gave her an approving nod before heading the other way.
“What is it?” Wanda asked curiously and followed Natasha and T’Challa.
“Nothing important, I just thought we could catch up and I could teach you a trick or two” Natasha answered and looked over her shoulder, just to give her a genuine smile.
Wanda knew it was code and really meant she wanted to keep an eye on her, but honestly she didn’t mind. The time when she was fighting against Natasha was really hard for her. Natasha had become her ‘big sister’ and she really looked up to her. After Pietro had died she felt empty for a long time but Natasha had managed to fill a piece of her emptiness. She missed her and having her back is just a dream come true to her. So she doesn’t mind her watching her if it meant she was able to spend time with Nat.
Natasha was able to get access to every S.H.I.E.L.D. file they needed, even if it took longer than she had anticipated. Although S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t really exist anymore, their files still lived on. She managed to even get hands on Ross’s computer data, so it wouldn’t be hard to get missions for them. She taught Wanda a few basic tricks before they headed towards the training area.
“Care to share what’s on your mind?” Natasha asked. She didn’t even have to look at Wanda to see that something troubled her.
“Not really..” She said but Natasha gave her a knowing look.
“It’s silly really..” Wanda started and kept a break before speaking again, collecting her thoughts.
“I just keep on thinking that maybe I’m not supposed to be good, maybe I was born evil and I shouldn’t be trying to save lives when I only seem to make things worse” She explained. Natasha stopped her and firmly kept her hands on both sides of her arms.
“You weren’t born evil Wanda. I wasn’t born evil either. Bad people did that to us, the things we did back then weren’t our own choices. But now we have a second chance to make it better. We can choose to be good” She said.
“But what if I don’t know how? What if I don’t know what’s the right choice?” Wanda asked.
“Then I’ll be there for you and help you choose right. We all are here for you. If you ever doubt anything then we’ll help you get through it. You’re not alone in this Wanda” Nat said. Wanda thought it for a while before nodding.
“You’re right. I can be good if I want to” She said a smile on her face before she pulled Natasha into a hug. The old Natasha would have pushed her away but she had changed, she now let people in more easily and let her guard down, which she’s not sure if it’s a good thing or not. Clint once said she had grown soft and maybe he was right. She now allowed herself feel things instead of pushing them away. Maybe it's part of having a real family.
“Come on. Let’s see what damage boys have already done” Natasha said before she pushed the door open and stepped inside.
The space where they were training was a huge hall, where T’Challa used to keep one of his planes before he moved it and let the Avengers train there. Sam was fighting with Clint while Steve and Bucky were fighting on the other end. As soon as Bucky saw Natasha come in he knew now would be a good time to talk with her.
“Would you excuse me? I have to talk to Romanoff” Bucky said to Steve, who looked confused at least. He supposed it was something about their past.
Now that Bucky had his memories back he told Steve he had a past with Natasha. Not that Steve knew what kind of past they shared, but he thought it would be something he didn’t even want to know about. Feeling little bothered about their talk Steve still nodded in approval, not that Bucky needed his permission.
Bucky walked towards the other end of the hall, where Natasha stood with Wanda. Steve walked over to Clint and Sam, the whole time keeping his eyes on his best friend.
“Romanoff, can we talk?” Bucky asked as soon as he arrived. Natasha nodded.
“I’m gonna go” Wanda said before heading towards others, leaving the two alone.
“What’s up Barnes?” Natasha asked.
“Nothing much, I just wanted to talk about the ‘fling’ we had back then, make sure there’s no hard feelings or anything” He said.
“It was hardly a ‘fling’, more of a physical pleasure importer” She said and Bucky chuckled.
“Yeah, good times”
It really had been something that kept his, and hers, mind at least somewhat sane. He wasn’t himself anymore but when she was under him in his bed or the other way around, he felt like a normal person again. It was the only ‘real’ thing he had in Red Room that was his own decision and not planted in his brain. They didn’t have feelings involved, hell no, it was just a way to escape from reality.
“And if I recall right it was pure physical relationship, no feelings involved so no friction between us” Natasha said and gave him a slight smile.
“That’s good” Bucky said.
“So..” He started again and glanced at Steve before continued “Do you trust me and believe I’m on your side?”
Natasha looked over his shoulder also at Steve, who was currently explaining something to Wanda.
“He seems to trust you, and I trust him” She answered and Bucky nodded.
“That’s good enough for me, now. But watch your back Romanoff, I will win you over soon” Bucky grinned.
“Don’t hold your breath Barnes” Natasha said and started to walk towards their teammates.
“Can I at least call you Natasha?” He asked, walking beside her.
“We’re not there yet” She said.
“That’s cold” Bucky answered and pretended to be hurt and held his right hand on his chest, where his heart was.
“Shut up Barnes” Natasha punched him playfully.
Steve watched his two friends, he was glad they seemed to be on good terms but still he felt little uneasy. He wanted them to be happy but still he found himself hoping they wouldn’t repeat their history, whatever that contained.
Later that night Steve was wandering around the house, not admitting he was looking for the certain auburn haired woman. His attempts were soon awarded when he found her at the end of the hall, on the balcony that opened a view to the ocean.
“Hi” Steve greeted her and went next to her and leaned on the railing.
“Hey” Natasha greeted back and kept her eyes on the skyline, she didn’t have to turn around to see who the figure next to her was, she knew it before he had even spoken up.
“You alright?” Steve asked, not sure why exactly. He just wanted to know if something was on her mind. Natasha smiled a little and let herself steal a glimpse of him before turning her green eyes away again.
“Everything’s well” She said “You?”
“Everything’s alright as well” Steve answered and looked at Nat before turning his gaze away. A comfortable silence fell upon them. They just stood there, right by each other’s side, just enjoying the company.
“You know, Stark would find us if he really wanted to” Natasha noted after a while and Steve nodded.
“I know, I just hope deep down he wants us to be friends again” Steve said.
Pause.
“I’m sure he wants that, he’s just too stubborn to do so” Natasha said.
Another pause.
“Reminds me of someone I know” Natasha said with a grin and turned to look at him.
“I’m not stubborn” Steve protested but she lifted her eyebrow.
“Okay, I might be” He admitted, a smile following his answer.
They stayed like that for a moment, staring at one another, his blue eyes seeking something from her green ones. For a while Natasha let herself feel all the feelings she had inside her, while Steve couldn’t help himself from getting another step closer to her, making their bodies almost press together. He started to lean down slowly, seeing she wasn’t backing away.
But before he was close enough, she did back away.
She was tempted to lean up and press their lips together, but she couldn’t let herself. He would regret it later so why not stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life.
“It’s late, I should be going” Natasha said with a small smile, making it seem like nothing almost happened.
“Yeah, good idea” Steve said and also smiled again.
“Good night Steve” She said over her shoulder before fully stepping inside.
“Good night Nat” He said back and then she was gone. Steve let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was glad Nat didn’t let him kiss her, it would’ve fucked things up entirely.