4AM
“House. House. Pond. Streetlamp…” He turns to me. “Are you getting this?”
I sigh, typing everything he tells me into his cellphone. “Yes, Daken. House, house, pond, streetlamp.”
“House.” He says pointedly.
“House.” I repeat, holding up his phone and dramatically typing on it.
He grins. “Thank you.” He points to the back seat. “All three of you. You’re very good men. Very wise.”
Is it possible for someone to see triple? His vision is fucked.
Everyone is silent for a moment before he growls, “Shut up stomach.” He gasps suddenly. “Johnny! We never got cheese fries!”
I have to admit I’m smiling.
“I don’t think you should put anything else in your stomach.” Laura says.
Daken pouts in the side mirror. It’s cute- once again.
Without alerting him, I quickly sneak my phone out and take the best picture I can. I might want to show it to him one day. Maybe.
We drive for about five minutes (The longest of my life) before Laura pulls us into the driveway of a nice house. A ‘normal’ nice house. Not ‘expensive’ nice like I thought it would be. To be honest I thought we were talking about an apartment.
Not expensive like he was telling me about.
“Mmm.” He coos from the front seat. “What a pretty house.”
For a minute I think Laura’s got the wrong place. We’re in a small neighborhood that’s spaced out a good bit. Something off the beaten path. The neighbors are spaced out and the houses aren’t cookie cutter .. so it’s an older neighborhood. A lot like the one I grew up in as a child, now that I come to think of it.
The house is nice but, honestly, it looks like something for first time home owners with small families.
In other words- too big for one person and a little too homey for Daken if we’re being honest.
Laura turns the car off and pockets the keys.
“This is your house,” Laura says. “Please go inside.”
“My house!” He cries when the car comes to a stop.
Guess we're in the right place after all.
“I thought you lived in the city.” I stare at the house in bewilderment. This isn’t Daken. This isn’t anything close to ‘Daken-ish’
“I do live in the city. Five minutes away.” He nods. “Look at my house!” He points with his whole hand and his voice.. he’s just so fucking excited for me to see where he lives.
“I see,” I say with a nod. “Now go inside.”
“I wanna look at it.” He says defiantly.
“Daken- go in your house.” Laura orders.
“We can sleep in the car.” He continues.
“Daken!” Laura snaps. “Go in your house!”
His deep red sports car is parked in front, top up, but windows down.
“Don’t wanna.” He pouts.
“Your keys?” Laura questions with a long-suffering sigh.
Daken looks confused. “My house!” He points again.
“Yes. Go inside of it. Where are your keys?”
"Keys?”
Holy fuck. He’s got to be playing this up. There’s no way he’s this fucked up.
Then again, he’s taken a shit ton of drugs tonight. I may be wrong.
“Your house keys.” She clarifies. “Give me your house keys.”
“They’re in my car.” He points to the car. “Under the seat. Send Johnny to get them. ” He says with a nod. “I gotta go check the mail.”
“It’s 4 AM,” I say. “Why are you checking your mail at four in the morning?”
“Because I haven’t been home today.”
“OH.”
He nods. “My keys are in my car.” He restates.
That’s…
“Daken why would you put your keys in your car?” She asks. “That doesn't make sense.”
He shrugs before turning back to me. “Will you get them for me?”
I nod with a yawn. It’s time for bed. As soon as we get him in the house- I’m gone. Judging from the tone of his voice and his vision problems, he’s not long for this world.
I exit Laura’s car and walk up the short driveway to Daken’s.
HIs tires need air.
Why do I feel like I should take care of that for him?
Surely he can take care of his own car. We’re not together anymore. It’s not my job to remind him.
But… to be honest Daken’s not very good with cars. Not like me.
But then again- I’m better than most.
At any rate- it’s not my job or my place to tell Daken what to do with his car.
When I pull the handle to said car I find it locked.
Why lock the car but leave the windows down??
I reach in the car and feel around for the lock.
When that’s done, I open the door and bend down under the driver’s seat and start feeling around.
After about three minutes, I’m a little frustrated that I’m not finding anything.
“Daken-“
“ Mmm?”
I jump so violently I hit my head on the underside of his steering wheel.
“Jesus! Don’t sneak up on me!”
He’s grinning. “You hit your head.”
“You snuck up on me!”
He nods. “I was looking at your ass.” He says this in a loud whisper.
“Well don’t.” I huff.
He shakes his head. “You can’t tell me what to look at.”
“I do not give you consent to ogle my ass,” I growl.
“I…..” He holds up a finger. “Okay.”
I go back to feeling around under his seat.
“Daken- where is your key??” I finally snap, looking over my shoulder at him.
He grins. “Under the seat.”
“No,” I gesture the seat that I'm crouched down in front of. “It’s not.”
I reach back under the chair, one last time - coming to a jolt when I feel something against my ass.
“Daken!” I snap.
“‘m not doing anything.”
“Get your foot off my ass.” I growl.
“‘kay.” He steps back and I have a brief moment of hope that he’s moved on to do something else.
That hope is dashed when he manages to mount my back like a horse- straddling me while I lean in the car.
“Daken!” I snap again.
He giggles. “What are you doing to my car?” He leans down in my ear. I have to try really hard to not get goosebumps.
“I’m looking for your fucking house key that you said was in your car but that I’m starting to think you just told me that so I’d bend over and you could-“
“You’re talking really fast.” he interrupts.
“Daken- I want to go to bed,” I whine. “I’m tired. I’ve been with you all night- I want to go to sleep.”
He presses his entire body onto my back. “Horsie.” He affects a western drawl. “Get a move on.”
“Where is your key??” I demand.
“Neigh. Horses neigh.”
“I’m not a horse!”
He yelps suddenly and I feel him dismounting very awkwardly.
“I saw what you did!” Laura is standing behind me hauling him to the grass.
Angrily hauling him into the grass at that.
“Didn’t do it!” He cries.
“He took more pills.” Laura seethes. “He got them out of the mailbox. I doubt his key is even in the car. It was a distraction.”
“Don’t be mad.” He sings. “Laura- don’t be mad.”
“Then stop taking drugs and go to bed!” She snaps.
“Uh oh.”
“Uh oh?” He starts to gag. “No no no. Daken you’re too close to me.” I start trying to remove myself from the car, but he’s sprawled out behind me. “Daken don’t you dare puke on me!” I cry.
There's movement I don’t track.
“Do not let him puke on me.” I demand.
“I’m trying to move him, Johnny.” Laura snaps.
Daken gags and gags.
“Daken-“
“I’m gonna be sick.” He says in a panic.
“Just move this way.” Laura says in fake patience. “Come on, Daken. Move with me.”
“I’m gonna be sick.” He repeats. “I’m gonna be sick.”
“Be sick in the grass!” I order, head still stuck in his car. I run my hand under the seat again, vainly searching for the key that I’m sure isn’t in here.
His hands grace my back.
“Don’t use Johnny as leverage!” Laura snaps.
“Gonna be sick. Gonna be sick. Sick.. sick… argh…”
“Daken lean to the side!” I yell.
Someone’s dog starts barking after I raise my voice.
I don’t really care at the moment.
“Sick.” He moans, leaning on me more heavily.
“Don’t let him be sick on me.” I turn around and glare at Laura while trying to buck Daken off.
I end up being able to move from the car but end up in a pile with Daken as I back into him.
“Johnny!” He cries. “Oh, dizzy.”
I finally end up on top of him.
“Finally!” I snap.
Daken shakes his head.
“Johnny! Move-“ Laura’s cry is interrupted.
I’m hit in the chest and face with a stream of projectile vomit…. and fuck.
“Fuck!”
I start gagging in response.
I can’t help it. I”m a sympathy puker.
“Johnny!” Laura starts trying to pull me off, but I end up getting sick on Daken… which he starts to yell about.
“Turn about is fair play.” I grouse, rolling off him and wiping my mouth and face with my hands.
“That was the single most disgusting thing I’ve seen in weeks.” Laura says quietly.
More dogs bark in the distance.
“Yea it was a lot of fun.” I groan.
Daken lays on his back in his lawn, making snow angels in the grass minus the snow.
“He needs a shower.” Laura wrinkles her nose. “You both need a shower.”
“I don’t suppose he’s got a washer and a dryer?” I feel disgusting. I smell disgusting. I could puke again. Any other upsets tonight and I’m dropping everything and leaving.
She frowns. “I think… he does. He has a lot of clothing. It will only make sense-“
“I have nice appliances.” He says indignantly.
“Great. Where’s your key so we can go see them?” I growl.
Daken smiles face still flushed from being sick. “In the-“
“It is not in the car.” I snap.
“In the window.” He shakes his head. “No- the rock.” He shakes his head again. “No- the porch.”
“Daken!” I snap. “Where is your key??”
“I don’t know!” He cries. “Don’t yell at me!”
“Both of you be quiet.” Laura hisses.
Across the street, one of Daken’s neighbor opens his door and glares out of it, right at us. I can see his scowl.
“My key is in the window.” He insists. “On the porch.”
“What porch?”
“The back porch.” He nods. I stand up and walk to the edge of the driveway. Sure enough, there’s a small dirt path that leads through some trees and around the house.
“I found the back porch.” I call to Laura. “Keep Sir Pukes- a- Lot out there.”
It’s pitch black in the back yard, so I light my right hand and hold it out in front of me. Through the fire, I see the outlines of a lot of trees and bushes. Very bushy and green. A yard for kids. A yard for a family. What the fuck is he doing here?
I find the steps to a screened in back porch and slowly open the door. Then I take my hand and run it over the sills of all five of the windows until I find a small key.
While fumbling along the wall, I find that there’s a back door back here as well.
Covered in puke and tired as hell, I try unlocking the door…. only to find it already unlocked.
The fucking door was unlocked the whole time!
Tonight just gets better and better.
I grumble a stream of very creative obscenities and I trail through the house to the front door, turning lights on as I go.
The house is pretty… country-ish.
There’s an island in the kitchen and dining room. A large kitchen. A large living room. High ceilings. And finally - stairs.
I stare at them in horror.
Getting him up there?
It’s going to be impossible.
I unlock the front door and door turn the porch light on.
Laura’s got him leaned against his car- puking again.
At least it’s on one of his things.
When she sees me she says (quite patiently) “Okay. Now it’s time to go inside.”
He makes a few whining noises but follows her to the front door.
When they step through, I close the door and lock it, turning around to see them observing the house.
“My house!” Daken cries happily. “Oh, my house! You found it! You solved the puzzle!”
“What puzzle?”
“The missing key!” He says happily.
“Missing? It was in the window.” I scoff
“It was obviously in the window.” He says. “So no one would think it was the right key.”
“… It was the only key.”
He frowns. “No… there’s more.” He takes staggering steps into the kitchen. “Oh.” He slams his hand down on the island. “Here they are.”
“Why did you make getting into your house a puzzle?” Laura questions with a raised eyebrow.
He shrugs. “I get bored.”
“You…”
He nods. “My dealer stopped by.”
“Uh-“
“He left the drugs in the mailbox.”
“Oh- and your back door was unlocked.” I report.
“The door was unlocked the whole time??” Laura demands.
“That’s what I said.” I say quietly, watching Daken stagger around his home.
He makes his way into the living room and starts stripping out of his pants and heading to his leather couch.
“Stop!” Laura demands, making Daken jump. “You're covered in vomit. Do not sit on your couch.”
Daken pouts. “But I want to watch a movie.”
“Shower first.”
I look down at my shirt and feel my skin itch on the parts covered in his waffles from earlier. “I need one too.” I grouse.
“Take one with him?” Laura offers. “That way he doesn’t drown.”
I hate to agree with her but….
He pauses. “I’m not wearing underwear.”
Laura nods. “No, you aren’t.”
“Don’t look at me naked, Johnny.” He giggles.
“Daken.” I groan. “Go take a shower.”
“Ohhhh shower sex.” He slurs.
“No sex.” Laura and I say at the same time.
He pouts again. “Shower blow job?”
“No.” I snap.
“Rimming-“
“No!” My face is hot in a way that I know isn’t power based.
“Will you at least finger me??” He asks in exasperation.
“No.” I say firmly. “No sex.”
“Fingering is not sex.”
“It’s close enough.” I grab his shoulder and lead him to the stairs. “Shower up there?”
He nods. “In my bedroom.”
“Of course it is.”
Laura falls in line behind me.
It takes a total of five minutes to get him up the stairs. He takes them in unsure baby steps and clings to the walls ‘like spiderman’.
“Shower time.” Laura says to him. “Where are your clean clothes?”
He points to a darkened bedroom. “That’s where I keep them.”
She maneuvers from behind us and walks into the room, turning on the light and searching for a few minutes.
“These aren’t sleeping clothes.” She pokes her head out the door. “Suits and jackets.”
“Next bedroom.” He leans on me and closes his eyes.
Laura walks into the next room over and pokes her head in. “This one’s only got shoes.”
"You have a room for shoes??”
He nods with a frown. “My clothes…. are downstairs.” He snaps his fingers. “In a box. In the laundry room.”
I glance at Laura who sighs. “I’ll go get them. You two climb into the shower.”
I nod before turning my full attention to him. “Daken, can you lead me to your shower?”
He nods before stumbling off down the small dark hallway to the only bedroom on the left side.
I follow him, feet squishing on the carpet. I don't know how… but I think he got puke in my shoe.
“I took off my pants.” He whines.
“… Okay?”
“I need to fold them.”
“They need to be washed first.” I remind him.
He nods to himself before walking through the dark room and going to the window. “Johnny,” He gasps. “The moon!”
He clumsily pulls his blinds up, tangling them in one hand before ripping them down entirely. “The moon!” He repeats.
I sigh. “Don’t destroy your house.” I walk over, happy that the room is now illuminated by the moonlight. “Come take a shower.”
He nods before turning to me. “If I wasn’t drugged all the time… and mean… would you stay with me?”
That stops me. “What?”
“If I wasn’t mean to you.” He repeats. “Would you stay?”
“Uh-“
“I want you to stay.” He says softly. “I don't like it when you go.”
But…
“Daken- let’s take a shower.” I say instead of answering him. “M‘Kay? Let’s take a shower.”
He nods and follows me into his bathroom.
His bathroom that happens to be the largest I’ve seen in a while.
He has a total of three sinks on the wall leading up to a urinal and a toilet- which I find beyond weird. A tub on one side of the wall and a glass compartment for the shower.
“Bath?” He points to the tub.
“Shower.”
He shakes his head. “Can't stand.”
“You’re standing fi-“
He plops to the floor, laying on his back. “Bath.” He rolls his heads toward the tub. “Please.”
“Daken-“ I groan. “Get off of the floor.”
He shakes his head. “Bath.”
I inhale deeply before stepping over him and running some water. I watch the tub fill up, purposefully running only cold water. It won’t bother me any- why should I care?
It’s almost full when I start to hear him mumble something. The mumbling sounds.. kinda nice. Kinda- weird. He’s - oh. He’s singing. He’s lying on his bathroom floor singing.
The song isn’t in English. It sounds… Japanese. Right. Because- right.
It’s pretty- whatever it is.
“Daken?” I turn the water off.
He continues to sing.
“Daken?” I repeat, turning to him. “The bath is ready.”
He stops singing and turns to me. “I’m singing to the moon.” He says.
“It’s pretty.” I smile. “But come take a bath.”
I strip out of my shirt and shoes, taking the time to inspect my jeans- which thankfully haven't been touched. I won’t have to lay around naked waiting for the clothes to wash.
“Thank you for staying with me, Johnny.” He says as he draws closer. “You don’t have to have sex with me. I won’t make you.”
He strips out of his shirt for the third time tonight.
“Yea-“
He nods. “I… really like you- is all.”
I sigh. “I really like you too, Daken.”
“I don’t mean to be mean. And distant.” He’s slurring his words worse than another other time tonight.
“I know you don’t.” I feel bad about making the water cold now.
“I don’t… know any better.”
That stops me. He… “What do you mean?”
He goes to step into the tub but I stop him. “Daken, what do you mean?”
“How I was raised.” He says with a yawn. “If you weren’t using people they weren’t of use. He never taught me how to deal with relationships….. so I never learned.”
“Oh.” I’ll pretend to know who ‘he’ is. I mean obviously, someone had to raise Daken. And due to Logan’s absenteeism I’m guessing it wasn’t a pleasant experience. “Okay.”
“I really do like you.” He repeats. “You’re funny. And you’re cute. And you’re sweet.”
I bend down and put my finger in the water, heating it up to a reasonably warm temperature.
I don’t want him to freeze anymore… not after that comment.
“Water’s ready.” I say gently.
Daken clumsily climbs into the tub, grinning at me and sitting down. “I’m Dory.”
“Yes you are.” I nod. “You’re Dory.”
I take off my shoes and pants and climb in behind him.
He almost melts into my chest, splashing a little bit of water out of the sides of the tub.
“Wash your chest.” I order.
“We didn’t get washcloths.” He says sleepily.
Damnit.
I take my hands and splash his chest and neck, working until the filth is off.
“Lean forward” I instruct.
“Na uh.”
“Daken-“
“Na uh.” He shakes his head.
“Daken-“
“Okay.” He leans forward before sloppily turning around and sitting in my lap, facing me. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I look at him for a long moment. “I’m trying to wash my chest and face.”
Instead of listening to me, he leans down- very close to me.
“I’d like to kiss you.” He whispers.
I lean in close to him. “Kiss me tomorrow.” I say quietly. “When you’re not high. You’re too out of it for me to kiss you.”
He frowns. “I don’t get turned down often.”
I nod. “I know.”
“I don’t like it.” He pouts.
“I’m sorry.”
He frowns. “Johnny… if can remember this tomorrow- all of it- will you stay with me?”
His eyes- he’s so earnest.
“Daken….”
“You left because you thought I didn’t love you.” He continues. “But I do love you.”
That is the deepest darkest secret he could have told me tonight.
“You love me.” I state in disbelief.
“I love you.” He grins sleepily. “I love you. I love you so much.”
“You’re high.” I dismiss, going back to washing my chest.
“I love you when you’re sleepy. I love when you work on my car. I love when you go to restaurants with me and can’t pronounce any of the food.”
“Daken-“
“I love that you take care of me. Even when I don’t want you to.”
“Daken-“
“And if I can remember this….. If I can remember that I told you and that all of this happened- will you stay?”
I look around the room and think.
I love him too. If anything tonight’s proved that. I wasn’t shy with him about my feelings. Like I told him earlier tonight- we broke up because of his ‘commitment issues’.
And our little adventure… .all of it.
Should I really put stipulations on our relationship?
What if he doesn’t remember?
I kind of really want him to remember.
“Okay.” I say finally. “If you can remember….. not all of it just this conversation…. I will give you another chance.”
He smiles ear to ear. “You will?”
I nod. “Of course.”
“And I just have to remember this?”
I nod again. “Just this conversation. Remember that you told me you loved me. Remember that you asked me to take you back.”
He curls into me, resting his chin on my shoulder. “I’ll remember.” He promises.
I feel his heart… and it’s beating so fast.
“Daken…. “ I question after a few minutes.
“Mmm?”
“I don’t think this drug is good for you.”
“Mmm.”
“Your heart is beating really fast.”
“Mmm.”
“You’re really warm.”
He nuzzles my neck. “I love you.” he whispers. “But I’m going to sleep now.”
“Daken-“
He wasn’t lying. I got to move him, but he’s passed out. Now of got all of the dead weight holding me in the tub. Stuck underneath him I watch him doze off. He looks almost peaceful.
“Okay, my little fish.” I muster up strength and stand to my feet, lifting him with me. “Time for bed.”
He makes a few disgruntled noises but doesn’t wake up.
I heat him up just enough to dry him off.
Knowing him, his blankets and sheets are probably expensive.
I lift him into his bed, pulling the blankets and pillows into a nest.
“Goodnight.” I say when I’m done messing with them. “I really, really, really hope to hear from you tomorrow.”
He lets out a snore.
“Really.” I whisper.
I leave him in his room, closing his door and walking to the stairs. “Laura?” I call quietly. I know she’ll hear me.
She comes to the bottom of the stairs. “Does he have any comfy clothes?”
“Uh yes.” She shows me a bundle of cloth.
“Throw it up the stairs and then back off.” I order. “I’m naked.”
I’m not putting my jeans back on. I don’t want to go back into the room.
She laughs and does as I told her too.
After an awkward dress on the stairs, I walk down, feeling utterly tired.
Laura meets me by the door. “Is he in bed?”
“Out like a light.”
“Then… should we go?”
I nod. “Hold on a sec, though.”
I find my way to his living room and search through his ‘mess’ by the Tv. Really just a few DVDs. He’s neat as ever.
In the case of a documentary about renascence art… I find what I'm looking for.
With the DVD in hand, I walk into the kitchen, digging through his food.
There’s a fillet of Tuna(I’m guessing) Thawing in the fridge. I put a paper towel over it and place the DVD on top. “There.”
“Why did you just put a DVD in the refrigerator?”
“Uh… he’ll get it.” I shrug, walking to the front door.
“I left his wallet and his phone on the kitchen table.” She informs. “And put his pants in the wash.”
I nod. “He’s all set then.”
Laura yawn. “Just as well. I’ve got to get back to Gabby.”
“Gabby?”
“It’s a long story.” She says. “She’d be interested in meeting Daken, I’m sure. But I think it’s best to not involve children when drugs are concerned.”
“Children?” That is news.
She raises an eyebrow. “Like I said, it’s a long story.”
She opens the front door. “Are you riding in the car or flying home?”
In the very near distance, I see the outline of the city. The Baxter Building Is closer to me right now than it would be by taking the car.
I step out into the night (Morning) and ignite. “I’ll fly.” I state the obvious. “Thanks for the help.”
She nods. “I would say ‘anytime’…..”
I smile. “I get it.”
The first few feet I rise into the air are hard. I am really, really, really tired.
The next fifteen or so are easier.
When I’m the proper height from the ground, I take off as fast as I can.
I hope he remembers.
I hope tonight was real. That he was honest. But you never know with Daken.