Gamer

Strange, I thought, how you can be living your dreams and your nightmares at the very same time.*

When I look in the mirror I see a stranger. Emaciated face, sunken cheeks, red-rimmed and bloodshot eyes. When was the last time I slept? I don't remember, maybe a week ago. I have no time to sleep, most time I spend in XERRA, looking for some shit. Then I argue with Steve, I go on Headhunters' meetings, I look for Stark. I eat something, take a quick cold shower and back to XERRA. You have no idea how much Steve got mad when I said I have a job in the virtual world, and from now on I'll be there more often. I hate what I've become. I laughed bitterly, leaving the bathroom. I walked into the room where we slept together with Steve. You can't really call it bedroom... On the table waited for me freshly brewed, hot tea.

"You should get some sleep," said a voice from the corner of the room.

"I don't have time for this. I have meeting with our buddies soon," I replied in a resigned voice.

"You can't skip this one meeting? You're tired, you need to rest," Steve came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "What's happening?"

"What's happening? Nothing," I removed his hand, reached for a cup of tea and sat on the demolished couch.

"You should stop looking for him. What you're going to do once you find him?" Steve sat on a large armchair in front of me. "Stark."

"He'll pay for what he did."

"You'll kill an innocent man, Buck. Headhunters also want his death," he sighed resignedly. "You chase the wrong person. He's not the one to blame for all of this..."

"Have you forgotten what happened to Peggy?" I snapped looking straight into his baby blue eyes. Pain appeared in them.

"Think about what you're doing," he said, patting me on the shoulder shortly before they left.

I overdid it. I squeezed the cup with left hand so hard it shattered into pieces. The hot liquid dripped from my metal hand on the floor. I shouldn't mention it, it was a sensitive subject. Peggy was Steve's fiancee. They wanted to marry soon after we'll come back from the last mission, on which we never went. She had curly dark hair and warm, chocolate eyes. Always made-up and dressed well, she liked big hats and high heels. She was a beautiful woman. She had a sharp tongue, knew how to piss someone off. She always loudly expressed her opinion and was not afraid to tell the truth, no matter how painful it could be. That just worked for her charm. Sometimes I was jealous of Steve, he was so lucky. By the time. Missiles hit the office where she worked. Nothing left of that place, it was erased from Earth's surface. Steve visited that place many times, he had that stupid hope she wasn't at work that day. But she was. She never skipped a single day of her work, even when she was sick. And after all, Steve had the nerve to defend Stark... to say that it wasn't his fault. I didn't understand him. And he didn't understand me...

When I walked into the room everyone went quiet. I was late. I had to clean up the pieces of the cup and wipe the floor. For a while I was looking for a Steve, I wanted to apologize but he left. It's hard to blame him. Red Skull stood up and slowly walked over to me. He grabbed me by the arm and led to another room. I didn't know what was going on, for a moment I felt pure fear. But... what should I be afraid of?

"We have a problem," he said, pushing me against the wall. He pressed me against it with his body, his face was just few millimeters from mine, and even from such a distance it was hard to catch his whisper. "We have a spy among us. Someone is working with Stark's people. Someone is his shield"

"Who?" I asked, unable to believe what I heard. Spy? Among us? Impossible.

"I thought you could tell me."

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Whole days you spend on the network, Stark's people are apparently meeting there. Listen, Soldier. You are one of those I can trust. You hate Stark the most. You have to discover who is the double agent. Let's settle this case quietly. I will not tolerate traitors under my roof."

"I'll find him."

After that we went back to the others. They gave me curious glances, but said nothing. Which one of them could be a traitor? Madame Hydra? No, it's not possible. I didn't know her very well, but I highly doubt she works on two fronts. If not her, then who? Taskmaster? It would be likely, the guy seems fishy. Always ask a lot of questions, and gives too little information. He was here for some unknown reason, probably for his own satisfaction, but who knows? Maybe he wanted to prove something to someone. I'll keep an eye on him. In the corner of the room I spotted Crossbones, he looked bored. This guy was the weirdest one, but I found it hard to doubt his loyalty. He brought us a lot of messages from the network and from the area where he lived. Basically he was our source of information. He respected no one and walked his own paths. He made a plane from piece of paper, and threw it in another corner of the room. It hit Loki. How this kid got here anyway? He was maybe seventeen, apparently he joined by himself. Came out of nowhere. He was loud and obnoxious. I'll have to keep an eye on him as well.

I sat apart from the rest and reached for the reports on the table. These were mainly crookedly drawn maps. Street names, several names of our targets, pictures. Some were crossed out. That meant, they were already dead. Probably Stark's allies, who have fallen into our hands. I didn't know these people, although some of them I've seen around the area. I glanced sideways at Loki, who sat bored and played with a pen. Yes. Now I had another job to do. More and more tasks to do and not enough time. I haven't found anything about the Almanac of Time. I haven't found a trace of Stark. And now I look for traitors, which probably I won't find. I sighed, closed eyes and leaned back on my chair. After a while I felt someone's rough hands on my face. Reluctantly, I glanced at the intruder, which turned out to be Crossbones. He leaned over me.

"Could Loki be a traitor?" he asked in a whisper, pointing at the brunet.

"How do you know about the traitor?" I replied with a question.

"The walls have ears. Overtaking your question. Yes, I was eavesdropping. I wondered why the big boss calls you in for a chat," he laughed, hugging my shoulders. I didn't like to be touched, but I forced myself to ignore this fact and slipped my hands into trouser pockets.

"You think it's him?"

"Don't you think he's too stupid for this?" my companion laughed again and pulled away from me as soon as Red Skull entered the room. Before Crossbones left, he winked at me. What was that supposed to mean?

"Did you find anything relevant?" that was the first question I was asked when I met with the beautie. It was a few days after my conversation with Red Skull and Crossbones. By this time I tried as best I could to accomplish my tasks and by the way do not worry Steve. Needless to say, I wasn't even able to get closer to my goals...

"No."

"I thought you'd be more effective," she sighed brushing her hair with tall fingers. She wasn't wearing a mask today. I had mixed feelings about her. On the one hand I wanted to throw her on this table and rip her clothes apart, but on the other hand... well, I wanted to strangle her and never see her again. I felt excitement and disgust at the same time.

"I thought I'll get more information of what exactly I'm looking for," I grumbled toying with a glass of alcohol. We were in a rock club, as usual. In a secluded, dark corner of the room.

"You look for Almanac," she laughed and gave me a look as if I didn't understand a poor joke.

"Useless information," I looked at her seriously. She mocked me?

"I can't give you the details. Really no one heard of Almanac? No one?" she asked in a resigned voice. "So we have nothing..."

"You don't trust me," I finally said.

"You don't trust yourself, why would I? You'll go into the maze, to LIMBO. Maybe there you'll find something."

"LIMBO? What's that?"

"You can say it's a network's hell. Full of system's errors, but also full of information. This is a dangerous place, but you... you are quite... unique," she stressed the last word and gave me a smile. "You heal very quickly, never get sick, you have superhuman strength and speed... Yes, you'll do."

It scared me how much she knew about me. I couldn't hide anything from her, she was reading me like an open book. Nobody except me, Steve and headhunters didn't know about the serum that was injected into us. Or so I thought. In addition, I didn't know what I'm looking for her, but she saved my life so I was in her debt. I played another game. In this one, the rules were not entirely clear. She threw a card on the table. The same that I saw at the club the other day. She gave it to that strange type with blue eyes. In the corner was a symbol of an hourglass.

"This way you'll get to LIMBO," after these words she stood up and left.

So that guy was also looking for this Almanac. Why else she would give him the card into a maze? I finished my drink and be logged out. I'm not going there today.

Stars are only visible in the darkness
Fear is ever-changing and evolving
And I, I feel poisoned inside
And I, I feel so alive**