Gamer

F-E-A-R has two meanings: 'Forget Everything And Run' or 'Face Everything And Rise.*

I went there the next day. To LIMBO. I inserted the card to a reader on my XERRA starting panel. Teleportation was sudden and painful. The world spinned around me and I fell to the ground. When I got up I saw the fulfillment of my worst nightmares before me. Everywhere was dark, the sky was bleeding, whole place was packed with tilted sideways skyscrapers, the ground was littered with bones, to the right stood damaged and rusty carousel, next to it lied ripped teddy bear... there was a dead silence, broken only by the whining wind. The wall of the buildings were half covered with bright neons and higher above them appeared and disappeared strange inscriptions. Hell in the network, they couldn't find better name. What should I expect here?

Hesitantly I made a step forward. The inscriptions on the wall were inviting. Come to me. Closer. Yes. Come here. It was probably the first time I was so scared. Even my first mission in Afghanistan wasn't so frightening. I couldn't even tell that it wasn't really happening. It was a network, but my life was at stake. All of this was as real as our reality. I walked towards the narrow alleys full of neon signboards. Ground was covered with a dense fog. After a while I heard some whispers. I turned around immediately, but no one was behind me. I looked around, the place seemed abandoned and empty. I was all alone here. Get a grip, Bucky. It's probably the wind playing tricks on your mind. I couldn't let the fear to overcome me. This place is no good. Something dark lives here. I leaned back against the wall and took a few deep breaths. Then I felt something on my shoulder, I glanced down and saw someone's pale hand. But before I could turn around I was pulled into the building through the wall. Suddenly I found myself in a strange room. Faint red light lightened the darkness. From the hallway I heard someone's laugh. I took a last deep breath and went in that direction, behind my back I heard the sound of a music... and footsteps. In front of me I saw the door, without thinking I ran towards it. I threw myself at them and found myself on the other side. I fell on hard, rocky ground. A bright light blinded me, so I squeezed my eyes shut. Sand got into my nose, coughing I tried to get up on my feet. With difficulty I opened my eyes, the sand began to fall back on the ground. What I saw? - you ask. A total wilderness. Dark desert. Here and there bones were sticking from the ground, as well as huge stone blocks. Black birds suqawked, flying in circles on a gray sky. They didn't remind me of any bird I knew from the real world. Those were big creatures with sharp claws and red eyes. I looked back, but the door through which I came here, disappeared. Instead, I saw the abyss. The old, wooden bridge lead to the other side. How to get out of here? I found myself in some long-forgotten depths of the system. After a while I got up from the ground and unsteadily headed ahead. Birds perched on one of the stone blocks and watched me curiously. I fell a little unfortunate because the ankle of the left leg hurt terribly, not letting me walk properly. Probably was broken. But I couldn't stop, I couldn't stay here. If I stay here, I'll die.

I don't know how long I was walking ahead, maybe a few hours, maybe a few days... maybe weeks. It was hard to keep going, to force my own legs to move. Black birds were following me for a long time, hoping for an easy meal but I could no longer hear or see them. They might just hide somewhere. I was tired and hungry and I wanted to drink. Although all this was online, it was true. I could die, be burned, lose eyesight or limbs, anything could have happened. I tripped over a stone sticking from the ground and fell. I hit the hard ground with my cheek. The voice in my head kept telling me I should get up and go on, but I no longer could. I felt powerless, tears filled my eyes. I won't make it.

Somewhere nearby I heard shuffling, something smacked my arm. Birds? But for some time I haven't seen or hear a single one, have they really stopped following me...? I heard a snort. Horse. What a horse was doing here? I brought myself to a sitting position and raised my head. Yes, it was a horse. But his appearance chilled my blood. He was... dead. Pale skin and muscles hanging from his body, white ribs stuck on the outside. The hooves were cracked and enveloped with a green fire, same as his mane and tail. The same fire also filled his empty eye sockets. I could feel the strange smell of a dead flesh. His back carried a massive saddle from which dangled strange-looking skulls. They were not human, those were smaller and had horns. He snorted at me, burying one hoof in the sand. After a moment he pulled away and stood sideways shaking his bony head towards the saddle. Fear and doubt crawled under my skin, but I had no other choice. I had to trust this strange creature, otherwise I would have died here. I got up and climbed on the saddle, trying to to fall back to the ground. When I grabbed the steel chains, horse moved slowly, confidently. I've never ridden a horse, and certainly I haven't had contact with a dead animal, but I was too tired to pay attention to it. His calm movements put me to sleep few moments later.

I thought that I will wake up in the house where I lived together with Steve, that this nightmare will be over... that this horse will somehow take me home, to the safe place where I'll logout. I was wrong. I found myself at the gates of the huge, gloomy castle. The animal stood patiently in place and waited until I wake up. We're here... Means where? I slid from the saddle and with pleasure I noticed that my leg had already healed. In that case we had to wander around a good couple of days and I slept all the time. I walked over to the huge brass gates, their height was ten times higher than me. I was afraid of what I might find on the other side. I looked back, the horse was no longer there. Instead, I saw a wide stone bridge and wilderness behind it. There is no way back, moreover, why would I go back? To what? I raised my hand with the intent to maybe knock, but once I touched the door, they opened themselves. I stepped inside and found myself in the great hall, ahead in the distance I saw a descending elevator. It was terribly dark, lightened somehow by flaming torches on the pillars. On one wall I noticed the inscription, the same I have seen in that strange city. Come closer. Closer. Bucky... you're almost here. The elevator came back on its place. Once I stepped on it, it immediately began to fall down. It descended deep into the underworld, from which there was no escape.

At the bottom, several miles below the surface, I stood before the next gates. These, however, didn't help me pass. I pushed them with all my strength and squirmed through the gap. I found myself on a narrow path leading down. All around was dark as fuck. Further down, way lead to hell. Fuck. I went back to the elevator, but despite waiting for several minutes it didn't move up. So I could only go down. Why I didn't log out? - you ask. It would be too easy. I couldn't do it. I had everything locked, the connection between LIMBO and reality was lost. It was my do or die. Either I will fail my mission here, or finally reach my destination.

So I walked down a strange path, on both sides was a chasm. One misstep and I'll go down to meet with Death. The way was quiet, there was a dead silence, broken only by my loud heartbeat and breathing. And the rumbling in my stomach, I was still hungry. I wasn't walking down for long, maybe several minutes and there, before me, another door appeared. Ordinary, wooden with a handle. It was a strangely pleasant change after all. Before I pulled the handle and went inside, I heard a whistle.

I found myself in an abandoned, military warehouse. Against the wall I noticed a strange machine, it was turned off. The roof of the warehouse was half broken, the floor was littered with its pieces. And under those pieces, rotting bodies of some people. Where am I? I walked over to the machine skipping the lying bodies. Big screen was shattered, burned cables sticking out of the holes. It looked like a center system of long-range weapons. I've seen this in our military base, but no one has ever used them. We kept them just in case of war. They were used only for testing and presentation in the wilderness. All these toys were obviously made by Stark. In the corner of the machine, I saw a sign of the hourglass. Almanac... THIS is the mysterious Almanac? One thing was certain, the equipment doesn't have logo of Stark Industries. It couldn't be a weapon then. So what is it? Next to the machine there was a settee with a strange steel helmet at the wall. On its sides dangled leather straps. If I were crazy I would consider it a military machine used for brainwashing. And maybe it was... But it was broken and I had no idea about repairing such stuff. Could it even be repaired? I had a lot of questions and no answers. The device on my wrist squeaked happily, announcing that I regained connection with the real world. Without thinking twice, I immediately logged out.

Another fight with Steve knocked me out of balance, and for no reason I went to Headhunters base. At this time no one was there, everyone were busy searching for their own stuff. I could sit alone and think peacefully. I didn't know what to do now. It's been a long time since I began my missions and I didn't achieve anything. Does my recent discovery brought me any closer to my goal? Was it really an Almanac? But what is this for...? What if it wasn't the thing I'm looking for? What will happen if I fail? Will I go back to the Arena, or perhaps a beautiful red haired woman will cut my throat? If it gonna last longer, Steve will kill me with his overprotection. I pulled a small notebook out of my pocket and began to write down all the information that I was able to gather lately. First, I got a card to LIMBO. Second, I have spent in the depths of the network almost three weeks and I don't have anything specific. Third, mysterious woman called Natasha knows more about me than I do myself. Fourth, Almanac... I think I've found it, but what is this? A weapon? A device to control the missiles? Brainwashing machine? Maybe something completely different? Or maybe it wasn't even that. A bubble gum or condoms can have a hourglass logo too, this doesn't mean a thing. Maybe Almanac is some sort of old and full of holes couch. There is always a possibility someone is having a great fun making me look for something that doesn't even exist. Hell no, Bucky. It had to be that machine. How about all these worlds I have visited? This whole LIMBO thing? Where did it all come from? That horse... I still can feel his weird smell in my nostrils. Fifth, when I came back to reality Steve was waiting for me. He raged, screamed and cried. He burst into hysteria and I couldn't calm him down. If Almanac can really fix the world, it could start from my own life.

I sighed, combing hair with my fingers. I noticed something glitters on the chair in the corner of the room. Phone. Someone forgot to take it. Reluctantly, I reached for the object. Someone got the message. I carefully checked the phone, on its back I saw a badge with a skull and crossed bones. Crossbones. Why I'm not surprised? Soon he'll forget his own head. I put the phone into my pocket and left the quarters. I've decided to find him to give him back his property. He shouldn't be far away, the battery was almost full charged. Where he could be? All around were ruins. Somewhere nearby should be a brothel. Even after the apocalypse oldest profession in the world had the demand. Tho, he couldn't be there, could he? I laughed. Checking won't hurt... When I was at the corner of a dark alley near to the brothel, Crossbones' phone started ringing. JARVIS. And who is that? The first time I see such a nickname, obviously it couldn't be a name. I didn't want to pick it up, trust me. In the end, it wasn't my business but curiosity prevailed over reason. I put the phone to my ear, but said nothing. I didn't have to wait long for JARVIS to speak.

"He is injured. You have to help me. You have to come here now! Save him!" voice was male and shaking, filled with fear. It bothered me. Could it be Crossbones' friend? Fuck.

"Where?" I just asked. I had no time to look for the owner of the phone, I might not make it in time. Instead, I could help his friend, and in this way he will owe me one. I had a few questions about the network and desperately needed answers. One way or another.

"Ah, yes. We have changed the hideout. We are now in the basement of Stark's Tower. Entrance is by the ruined corridor from the north. He's bleeding... Please, hurry!" the voice on the other side broke, and for a moment I stood in a place like rooted. Then I ran in the direction I was told.

What I expected to find there? I don't know. Perhaps the ruins? The tower was intact, as if it had no idea that the whole world fell apart. I never visited this place before, other Headhunters were searching for Stark here, but found nothing. On the one hand I was full of admiration for this construction. On the other hand... it scared me. The only building that survived the bombing. In addition, there was dead silence all around. It looked like those horror movies that I liked to watch. It felt like it happened ages ago. I think I'd rather sit in front of TV and eat popcorn than to participate in all of this. Ruined corridor from the north.

Indeed, on the north side there was a corridor. It looked like a long forgotten entrance to the underground garage. Perhaps the whole structure was not so indestructible. Corridor was wide, illuminated by red emergency lights. I heard a voice coming from his other end. I followed it. You won't believe who I've found. The guy from the rock club in XERRA. He was walking among few, expensive-looking cars. Pale skin, blond hair and piercingly bright eyes that rested on my person. They were terrified, the man immediately stood on my way and spread his arms. I think he expected someone else. I had a strange feeling that he knows exactly who I am.

"What are you doing here? You need to leave. Now," he said with a cold voice. I pulled a phone from my pocket and waved with it at him.

"You needed help, so here I am," I said calmly, stepping closer. "You said that someone is bleeding. Do you have a first aid kit? I know how to treat simple wound."

"You cannot help him."

"You're the guy from the club," I changed the subject, looking at his face. He was... odd. In addition, just now I noticed that his person emanated with a faint glow. "Who are you hiding? Move."

He didn't move, so I pulled my hands ahead. I wanted to push him away... I wanted to, but my hands just flew through him. Hologram. Who the fuck is he? That's the... JARVIS? I looked at him wide-eyed and frowned. I have never encountered anything like this. Am I still in XERRA? What is this sorcery? The guy had a determined expression on his face, if he could he would kick me out of here... If he could... but he couldn't. I took a step forward and went through him like he wasn't even there. A ghost. Hologram faltered briefly, but then returned to its form. Guy turned to me and began pleading in a broken voice.

"Please, leave this place. Where is Brock?"

"Brock?" Who the fuck is Brock? "Crossbones?"

And then I heard a muffled groan full of pain coming from behind one of the cars. JARVIS was horrified, he tried to block the way once again, but I ignored him and followed the direction from where the sound came. Behind the car I found dirty, dark blue couch. And there lay a lad, all bloody. He was lying on his side with his face cradled in the pillow. His whole forearm was swollen and tightly wrapped in some rags, his body was shaking. Sweat trickled down his forehead and he was delirious, probably had a fever. JARVIS kept repeating his pleas behind my back. I sat on the edge of the couch and turned the boy on his back, I brushed the wet hair from his face. And then I understood why the hologram wanted to throw me out of here. On the couch lay none other than Tony Stark himself. He looked much younger than once shown on the news. A thousand thoughts flew through my head. Crossbones' phone, that request for help... Crossbones was a traitor? I would suspect everyone but him... I felt hatred boiling inside me. I don't even know when my left, bionic hand ended up on victim's throat. Metal fingers closed tightly on his skin. This is all your fault, Stark. The whole world lies in ruins, so many people have died... But finally I've found you, that's a game over for you. I didn't say a word, although I wanted to shout in his face how much I hate him. First, I'll kill him, and later I'll deal with Crossbones... with Brock. Because that's his name, right? I felt a tremor beneath me, Stark tried to catch a breath. He grabbed my metal wrist with his fragile hands, but he had no strength to defend himself. He opened his eyes and looked at me, tears ran down his cheeks.

"Goodbye."

So this is how we break
And this is where we find the only hope within this place
Where angels fall and darkness reigns
Where time dissolves the brightest flame**