Gamer

Listen to my story. This may be our last chance. *

What would you do to survive? Don't bother, I'll answer for you – you would do everything. You can deny it as much as you want, but deep down you know the bitter truth. Doesn't matter how good you were once, or how many coins you threw into beggar's cup. You can try to remain a good man, but after a while all of this will consume you. You will become someone you hated whole life. You will begin to rob the poor and kill the weakest, those are the most vulnerable targets. Then they will haunt you in your dreams, their spirits will try to destroy you and you will be left with two choices – give up and unite with them, or continue to fight. After all, the strongest will survive.

Yesterday I stole food for myself and Steve. What price I had to pay for this? I killed a mother with a little child. They wouldn't make it anyway, too weak to survive alone in the jungle. It was an act of mercy. At least that's how I explain it to myself. Steve don't know. He doesn't need to know. I will find a way to make it up to him**. One day, not now. I'm not a bad man, or so I tell myself. I just want to live, I don't want to die. No. I'm lying to myself. I have nothing else to lose, and I'm selfish. I care about myself, and Steve. Rest doesn't concern me.

I sighed, dropping onto dirty armchair. Carelessly I threw a small package on the table. Herbs that will help in the production of analgesics. It's hard to get it, and on the black market they cost a fortune. Do I gather them myself? - you ask. No, I don't have a clue about herbs, I'm not able to tell a difference between a weed and a flower. In that case, how do I get the money for them? Remember how I mentioned XERRA Inclusion helmet? I'm a Gamer. I take part in tournaments. In the Arena. I earn a bit of money there, almost everything I bring home is used on Steve's supplies. Sometimes it's not enough to buy food, so I steal. Sometimes I'm not even able to buy much herbs. In XERRA you can live like you lived before the disaster, but all this is just an illusion. If you die in the virtual world, you will die here too. You need to watch what you're doing. Arena is risky. One small mistake and it's over.

I reached to the table on the right, XERRA's helmet was lying there. Repeatedly I slid my thumb over the metal casing. Do I really wanted to go there? The more I go to the other world, the worse I say goodbye to him. I don't want to come back to reality. I want to stay there, cuddled up against all those lies. I closed my eyes, slowly put a helmet on my head and lay down comfortably on an armchair. A shiver ran down through my spine, I felt a slight pain in the temples when XERRA stormed into my mind. And then a pleasant female voice echoed around.

- User detected. Name: James Buchanan Barnes, login - Bucky. All systems online. -

Suddenly I found myself in a white room. Everything here was in a single color. Sofa, screens, table, carpet... it was terribly bright although there was no lighting. There were no windows, no doors... Anyone would think it was a trap. It's just a starting program scheme's. The command center, an oasis of peace. Call it as you want. One could, of course, change a little decor, but nobody would be sitting on the start panel when the world is open to him. In front of me appeared a huge screen displaying a map of the last stay, amount of money and my health status. The right side of the map bore the red mark: closed. It was the Arena. They opened it once a week. However, next to the Arena was one of my favorite clubs, always active.

I smiled slightly and chose my destination. I teleported straight in front of the club from which was coming a loud rock music. I went inside, passing a few people in ballroom masks. Some wanted to be anonymous, while the ones like me – didn't care. No one knew me anyway and even if they did, nothing would change. I wasn't anyone important in their little, rich world. I took an extensive, comfortable couch in the corner. In the distance I saw someone selling cyberdrugs. Several times I wanted to buy them to check how they work, but I gave up. After a while two red-haired beauties came to me. One of them had a mask, but her smile told me that we're not seeing each other for the first time. She didn't speak. Instead, she sat on my knee and stroked my cheek. Overtaking your question – yes. People gathered in such clubs frequently in need of sex. But sex here was not as pleasant as in the real world. It was just an illusion, a substitute. Was I also coming here for this? No, at least not anymore. I was coming for information. As has been well known, I took part in the Arena. I had to gain the information about my future opponents, and by the way I learned interesting news from the world. I also tried to track down Stark like this, but my plan failed badly. Some simply closed their mouth, some were leaving. I knew some of them are hiding him, that they're on his side... Why would you pick a side of someone who destroyed whole world?

At some point, a blonde in the corner of the room caught my attention. He stood with his back against the wall and kept his hands in his pockets, watching everyone. He doesn't fit this picture. Surrounded by athletic, tanned men in masks, he terribly stood out. Pale, milky skin, very light hair, unnaturally bright blue eyes. In addition, he was too calm, too... alert. As if waiting for someone. Suddenly, red-haired, masked beauty, which a moment earlier stroked my cheek - stood up and walked over to him. I watched them warily, they exchanged a few words. It seemed that they knew each other very well. She handed him a card, I noticed the small sign of hourglass on it. Before he left, his blue eyes rested on me for a short moment. A shiver ran down my spine. I didn't like this guy. I felt that we'll meet again. And it won't be pleasant. I wanted to go after him, but before I could do anything I felt a twinge of pain. Short circuit in the system. Female hand tenderly stroked my cheek. For the last time I saw her smile. It got dark.

I woke up on the floor in our hiding place, drenched in sweat. Above me I noticed a familiar face. My best and only friend – Steve. Despite the pain, I smiled at him. XERRA lay next to me, the cover was slightly cracked.

"Are you ok?" Steve's worried voice came to my ears.

"I'm fine," I said, little hesitantly. The world was spinning, my mouth dry as the Sahara.

"You sure?"

"Short circuit. Need to check the cables," I mumbled pointing at the helm.

"We should throw away this crap. It's no good, you spend more time there than here. You will lose yourself like all the rest did."

"I'll be alright."

"Bucky... I'm worried."

"In two days I have a tournament, I get us some money and then I'm done with this."

"Any news about Stark?" I asked, when everyone were gathered in a dark, cramped room. It was the base for our small association. Headhunters. So we called ourselves. There were only a dozen of people or so, and each of us had one goal. Kill Stark. Each of us wanted revenge. Steve had no idea I was stuck in such an organization. He generally knows little. He was convinced that we are on the orders of the city. That we are like the police and prosecute the criminals. Those guys were the ones who found me and Steve after the disaster, they picked us up, injected with some serum, they gave me a new hand... We owe them life. I sat on the edge of the table watching my companions. Nobody here used the real name, everyone had their unique codename. I was the Winter Soldier. A woman in green was Madame Hydra, beside her sat Red Skull, further Taskmaster, annoying kid Loki and Crossbones. Only so many of us today gathered. And it was the latter who graciously answered my question.

"There is no sign of him. As if he never existed. They say that he runs an activity on the network, but there's nothing I could find there. It's all just gossip, idle chatter. If Stark is actually alive – in what I begin to doubt – he hides very well," he laughed hoarsely, put his feet up on the table and leaned back in his chair.

"What activity?" Taskmaster asked.

"I have no idea, apparently they saying he gather people and try to get into goverment files, but what for, I don't know. The network is full of strange security and mazes. Perhaps there you would find an answer to your questions, but it's dangerous. Mind in network is vulnerable and defenseless. If you die in there, you will die here too. Why unnecessarily expose yourself? Might as well be there's nothin'."

"So, he gather people... Stark has always had a bunch of allies, maybe if we'll catch one of them we could possibly get some useful information," Madame Hydra suggested.

"Let's divide into two groups, one looking here and others in the network," it was Loki.

"And what? You think you will find them? That they even exist? That they will tell you anything? You really believe that? Bullshit." Crossbones laughed loud, he had a lot of fun. He was right... No. I can't give up now.

"If you won't check, you'll never know," I said, leaving the room. Meeting's over.

"Please enter your name."

"James Buchanan Barnes."

"Registration completed successfully. Welcome to the Arena, Mr. Barnes. Godspeed."

Woman's hologram created by the holoscreens vanished into the air letting me enter the main hall. It was the room from which you were supposed to enter the Arena. Room where you should focus and prepare yourself for the worst. Everyone had their place in the queue. On one wall hung a board with the results and who is fighting whom. Twenty-two people, five fights for the top prize. All will die today but one. And it gonna be me who will make it.

You will probably ask me how I ended up in the Arena? Why I kill for money? Why I put my own life on the line? Remember when I told you that I stole XERRA? The guy had no time to use it, all the settings have been selected for me. Virtual world sucked out of me all the memories and achievements. At first I received some offers to take part in sports games, martial arts, I received an invitations to nightclubs and rock pubs. It was a typical entertainment. At some point, I got a weird marked invitation to participate in the Arena, the offer was tempting. A large amount of money, at first I thought it will be enough for both my needs and Steve's. That it'll be enough to live on a worthy level... I was wrong. I had to spend large sums for treatment and equipment. Not much of cash left after. In addition, most of the money went on the herbs and I had to steal... Many times I wanted to withdraw, but I couldn't. It was a cotract. I didn't read it, beguiled by money. I will participate in the Arena, 'till I die. I was good, an ex-soldier, with some super serum in my veins. And we needed the money. So it couldn't go wrong, could it? If I would have died in the Arena then Steve would get the compensation. Money for my death. My life is a small price for Steve's. If he could survive thanks to this... Also... back in the time, I had no idea my real life is so heavy connected to the virtual one. You can say I first do, then think. And then I regret it.

As I mentioned, twenty-one dies today. In the Arena, and in the real life. Because when you die in XERRA, you die for real. Gloomy, right? Twenty-one is freed from the agony and their loved ones will receive funds to live a normal life for a while. The sum was different in each case, it depended on the progress of the Gamer. The skills.

At some point a beautiful, red-haired woman approached me. She was wearing a black, tight-fitting outfit and high boots. I really had no idea I can have guests in this room just before the fight. How she got in here? She corrected my jacket collar and bit her lower lip, a flirtatious smile appeared on her face. I knew that smile well, it was the same woman from the club. She only missed a mask now. She always walked towards me like I was someone special. Or maybe she just liked me. In any case, she made me feel a bit uneasy. Oh, and yeah, we slept with each other once.

"Ready, Mr. Barnes?" she asked, leaning toward me.

"As always," I answered staring into her green eyes, they were beautiful. "You came to watch how I win?"

"I've been watching you since the beginning," she whispered into my ear. I froze after this answer. She just winked at me, turned around and left the room, leaving me stunned. It sounded like... a threat.

Four fights caused me no problems. None of my opponents didn't show off neither cunning, nor strength or anything special. Yes, I was tired and it worked to my disadvantage, we had no breaks between the fights. In the first row of the stands I spotted the suspicious beauty. I didn't know her name, even though... yeah. I knew that she has a tattoo just below the collarbone, I kissed that place many times. But I never saw it in its entirety, she never let me, she always covered it. She is watching me. From the very beginning - as claimed. How much does she know?

I was knocked to the ground, barely did dodge the knife which stabbed the ground just inch from my neck. That was close. Focus, Bucky. I gritted my teeth and hit my opponent's ribs with left fist. He spat blood on my face, again tried to stab me with a knife. Blade scraped against the metal of my left shoulder. Although the fights were virtual, you had the impression that they are true. One could feel the pain, taste and smell the blood... the stench of death. I hit the rock with the back of my head, when I tried to dodge another attack. It dazed me for a second. I felt the blade pierces through the skin on the chest. Quickly I grabbed the wrist of the other Gamer, who literally wanted to stab me in the heart. I had no idea who the hell was he, but he was very good in a fight. He couldn't match my strength, but he was more agile and faster. I pushed his hand away from myself and bent to the side, shattering his bones. He didn't let out a sound, it was disturbing. Who was he? I kicked him in the stomach and knocked over on his back. I sat astride him and blocked the legs so he couldn't get away. Several times I hit his head with my fists, he tried to defend himself but to no avail. When I no longer sensed any movement on his part, when his hands helplessly fell to the ground, I ripped the hood from his head. Delicate facial features, long black hair. The world spun around me. It was a girl. Teenager. She couldn't have more than fifteen years. Not the first child that I killed... The arena, however, only allowed the adults to participate. What was she doing here? She fought for her life as best as she could... She had several scars on her throat. She didn't make any sound, because she couldn't... All this made me sick.

I rolled to the side and threw up. I wanted to cry. The crowd screamed hapilly. It reminded me of a movie about gladiators in the old Rome. It was exactly the same. Only without rules. Were those people not aware of us dying here? I looked up on the the stands. She sat there, staring at me. The darkness surrounded me. I lost consciousness.

When I woke up I was still in XERRA. In a soft, clean bed in a small room. Someone stood next to the window and looked outside. It took me a while to figure out that it was the same woman. She noticed that I'm awake, she turned to me and smiled.

"Good fight, Mr. Barnes," she said, sitting down on a chair next to me.

"It was a child."

"Oh, you were killing younger ones," she said. I felt like someone hit my stomach with a fist. How much did she know? Since when she was watching me?

"Who are you?" I croaked, feeling fear burning me up inside.

"There's Almanac Time, which will help us fix the world," she continued, ignoring my question. "It's XERRA's twin version. We just need to find it..."

"Then search for it," I growled trying to keep my tone menacing but it came out quite pathetic.

"I tried already. I'm not able to do it. But you..." she leaned over me, smiled, placing a kiss on my cheek. "...you will do it."

"Over my dead body. I won't help you."

"In the Arena, life is short, you really want to die there? I give you the opportunity. I will erase your data from the Arena, your contract will be canceled. Nobody will remember about this. We will financially support you and also your friend, Steve."

"In return, I look for some shit? It sounds like selling one life to the devil."

"Only a little help in the search. We need to locate it."

"Do you want to fix the world? You shoulda kill Stark before he had a chance to make any weapon."

"...when someone steals your car and kill a person, is it your fault, or the thief?" she asked, still smiling. "You are a headhunter. You live to kill."

"Who are you?"

"Is it important? You didn't care earlier," she said, rolling her eyes.

"I like to know with whom I'm sleeping."

"My name is Natasha."

"You really believe in some Almanac Time? You're dumber than I thought."

"Arena, or help in the search. Your choice," she smiled, again ignoring me.

"Do I have any choice?"

"I am glad that we worked it out, Mr. Barnes."

I'm paralyzed
I'm scared to live but I'm scared to die
And if life is pain then I buried mine a long time ago
But it's still alive
And it's taking over me - where am I?***