Chapter 3
Dear nonexistent diary,
I’ve started talking to the vampire guy in my free time. Now that I know that he’s not dead-dead, my new goal is to see how long it takes me to get a reaction out of him. Assuming he’s not in, like, hibernation or something. Do vampires hibernate? I don’t know. I don’t know all that much about vampires. Anyway, it hasn’t done anything yet, but I’m just getting started.
Is it slightly mean of me to be bothering him when this is probably a survival necessity for him? Maybe, but I’m bored, and I’m getting lonely, and he’s the only person around who isn’t a guard. I don’t talk to guards. I learned that lesson quick enough. Also I'm still nicer than anyone in the Empire.
I’ve also started a rock collection. I’m serious. It is a legitimate attempt to maybe confuse stormtroopers (stormtroopers are very stupid) while the energy shield is still lowered and give me an opportunity to escape. It would serve them right for just installing higher security in uncomfortable old rock cells. Maybe I can free the vampire and he can help me, because I’d probably do much better with someone who could actually do something coming with me. I mean, sure, I could probably get a blaster, but if my charge pack ran out then I’d be kind of screwed, and if someone tried to take me hand to hand, I’d totally kick their ass, but I doubt anyone would be trying to take me hand to hand. They'd just use their blasters.
This is totally not another way to stave off impending insanity until I a) get rescued (unlikely) b) try to escape and get myself killed (getting more and more likely) or c) end up with a cellmate (which could go either way). Totally. I’ve got my ‘totally no bullshit’ face on. Not the one that lies. Really.
I can’t even convince myself.
Anyway. Moving on.
I’ve been wondering about that guy, honestly. I mean, I’m sure he’s probably just another asshole who got himself a taste of power and doesn’t like people giving him problems, but, like, why is his solution to feed them to a vampire in the deepest levels of this prison? There’s got to be a more convenient way to kill someone. Like, for example, kill them yourself! Unless, of course, you want to blame the death on vampires when they finally find the body, which does make sense, but also implies that vampires eating people is a common enough thing for command to just buy it. Although I guess if they’ve got at least one vampire prisoner, well… they wouldn’t be lucky enough to arrest the only vampire around, would they? Unless, like, he was being super obvious about something that got him arrested, but even then.
Which brings up a lot of concerning thoughts about vampires and people getting eaten and people I actually like getting eaten but then, if I haven’t encountered a vampire attack yet (before being thrown down in a cell with one) I guess everyone I actually don’t want getting eaten by vampires should be safe. Not that that's a lot of people, anyway. Just my vod'e. Which I guess there are a lot of them but you know.
And then, of course, there's, well, me, because I’m going to keep bothering a vampire out of boredom.
Oh well. Rex says I've got a jaro, and he's usually right.