You're Ripped At Every Edge But You're A Masterpiece

Ward watches silently from the shadows unseen and unheard. Hands folded in front of his body, his breathing even and relaxed. He takes in his surroundings with expert care, missing nothing. She comes down the stairs slowly and with caution, but not too much. He told her never overthink small things, be as natural as you possbily can. Simmons looks around before taking a seat on a nearby bench, squints against the sun.

He's worried about Jemma, has been ever since Coulson demanded she go undercover at Hydra. Every day he's scared she's never going to come back, that Phil will call him into his office and tell him Jemma is gone and there was nothing anybody could do. And it will be Coulson's fault they all know it, and Grant will hate himself because he wasn't around to protect her.

After the fall of Hydra, after Skye, he and Simmons became very close. Spent hours upon hours sitting side by side next to Fitz's bed, holding hands praying to whoever was out there that he'd make a quick recovery. Ward remembers walking in one morning after he was done working out to find Simmons crying into Fitz's chest. Never comfortable with close personal contact Grant was hesitant at first.

But it pained him to see her so broken so he held her as she sobbed into his shirt. Since then she always came to him if she was worried about something, whether it was Fitz, how Coulson was becoming an entirely different person, they even talked about Skye once. But only once. The subject of the hacker was a sensitive one that neither of them wanted to come to terms with. How they trusted her and she stabbed them in the back.

How she and John were responsible for Simmons nearly dying, that was one of the hardest days of Ward's life. Working as a Specialist he was always alone, never got attached to anyone. A team wasn't really his style. But he didn't realize it until he stood guard over Simmons' beside that she that the rest of them had become his family. And he protected his family, from everything.

He just didn't count on the enemy being Skye. Never thought she'd be the one he'd have to threaten to point a gun at to protect his team. When Hydra came out of the shadows it destroyed everyone, changed everyone. Even now months later they're still recovering, and while Skye wasn't responsible as a whole for Shield falling, she played a part in it. She was apart of them and ruined the team, their family.

Ward shakes the memories away, no point in dwelling on them now. But he never has been able to keep Skye out of his mind for long (let's be honest here she never really left) and today isn't any different. Actually it might be worse. Because he stupidly kissed her back in that damn hotel room, touched her skin wanted more wanted all of her like he always has. If she hadn't of stumbled upon his Shield lanyard, Ward knows he'd have no self control over anything else.

He's still angry at himself for letting her go, never in all of his years at Shield has he ever compromised a mission before. Sure somethings things didn't go right and you had to make a different call, that's the job. What isn't the job is intentionally letting a target go because your head was full with the feel of her lips against yours, the sight of her tears, her apologies ringing in your ears. How she told you all she wanted was to save John.

And you believed her, you could tell she wasn't lying. And then she told you she loved you. Never in your thirty two years has anyone ever said that. Ward takes a deep breath and runs a hand over his face, adjusts his sunglasses. He's going to go with he had a moment of weakness with Skye, she got under his skin like she always has. ''I love you''. Ward has never heard those words directed at himself before.

His family hates him, he's never had a serious relationship with a woman, Skye was the only person to ever say that to him. Grant was so overwhelmed with her scent her hair just Skye, Skye was everywhere and he wanted to kiss her to make the world go away. Forget that he was basically sending her to a life in prison, that they would never be together. That she killed someone for him, Grant if he's being honest with himself is worried about her too.

And he shouldn't be, keeps repeating to himself all the reasons why he's so angry with her. But he was her SO, taught her as much as he could before the world came crashing down. They never got around to discussing how to handle when you take a life. He wonders how she's dealing with it. The memory comes back to him of her in the bathroom sobbing and Ward is still debating with himself if he should of comforted her.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, it's a message from Trip. Asking when he's coming back to the Playground and no, May and Coulson are not angry with him. After he let Skye go in that alley he went back and eliminated the threat, what was left of the Hydra agents retreated. He Coulson and May got back to the base and he briefed them on what happened. With Whitehall, how he had to lie low because the small town was crawling with Hydra agents.

How he wasn't prepared for the ambush no one was, Skye slipped away. They believed him and Grant hasn't stopped feeling guilty for it. He's lying for Skye and he never wants to do that. Truth be told she throws him off always has since the day they met. She is his weakness and a small part of him resents her for it. Which he has no right it's not her fault she can't control his feelings, but he does anyway.

He continues to observe Simmons for the next few hours, makes sure she gets back to her apartment safely when she's off work. By the time he makes it back to the Playground he goes to check on Fitz. Who's sitting in the lab with Mack deep in conversation. Deciding not to interrupt them he heads to his own bunk and is stopped on the way by Hunter. Grant didn't like Lance when Coulson first brought him aboard.

Mainly because Ward didn't trust mercenaries, no one should. They go to wherever the money is, will betray you in the blink of an eye for cash. But Hunter has proved over and over again that he's useful in the field and is a bit of a comic relief at times. Which they all need. ''Smashing job out there mate, letting Skye slip through your large fingers. Coulson should send me out to fetch her next time, I'll come back with results''.

Ward doesn't rise to the bait, he catches the teasing tone in the Brit's voice. ''Last week you got your ass kicked by a man half your size, it was sad. You'd never be able to find her''. Hunter scoffs, ''was that you trying to make a joke? Pathetic. And I'll have you know he did not kick my ass I was caught off guard''- ''How? Allowing yourself to be pushed out a glass window when you had plenty of time to dodge his kick''- ''Well I'm sorry I'm not a robot with ninja skills''.

They bicker back and forth all the way to his bunk, pass May and Trip who simply roll their eyes. Ward slams his door in Hunter's face, locks it for good measure and changes into work out clothes. He's at the punching bag for a few hours attacking it fiercely like it personally offened him. Trying to drown out Skye's voice her hands on his skin her lips against his. It works for about five minutes.

There's nothing but laughter as they play Battleship, him wrapping her hands early in the morning.

How Skye was always so full of life and sarcastic ready to take on anything thrown at her.

How she said bang whenever she pulled the trigger, how she hacked into Shield just to save him and Fitz.

Their kiss in the storage closet, ''you said you might die so what the hell?''

How he exposed himself to her at Providence told her about his family how cruel they all were.

Grant told her he wasn't good that she was, that'd there were thing about him she wouldn't like if she knew.

''I am not a good man Skye''.

''Yes you are''.

That hasn't changed he's not a good man but she's no better.

Later that night he walks into a bar the air is warm it's a cozy small place, but it's packed. It was picked on purpose, the music not too loud but loud enough for no one to hear a conversation. He checks his watch, orders a beer and sits at a booth in the back. Watches the people around him with their ordinary lives, never have to worry about saving the world or the next mission they go on could very well be their last.

Don't have to wonder if they're going to wake up tomorrow and find out their friend was killed by Hydra agents, or if there's an enemy here at this very bar. Grant continues to watch the bodies around him, ignores all the women and a few men that look his way. Finally after half an hour Kebo arrives and saunters over to the booth, glass of scotch in his hand. ''You're late''. Kebo smirks, ''I was tied up. Beisdes I'm always late''. This is true.

Ward has known Kebo for many years, they've been through a lot together. Dead girlfriend, funerals, missions that went bad. Grant is very aware of who Kebo is, what organization he's involved with. He was always into shady things so him coming out as Hydra was no surprise to Ward, and Kebo isn't actually loyal to Hydra. He only went to them because Shield wasn't an option. While Grant doesn't approve he understands.

And yes, he knows how that sounds. How can he forgive Kebo so easily but not Skye? Kebo never lied to him, never deceived him for months, never hurt his friends or played them to get what he wanted. Kebo has always been very up front and honest with Grant about who he was, can't say the same for Skye. Hypocritical? Probably. Ward doesn't tend to dwell on it. ''You look terrible''.

Ward comments earning an eye roll. ''Can you just tell me what you need to tell me already? Honestly super spy the suspense is killing me here''. Ward takes a sip from his beer and looks around the bar. ''I found Skye''. Ward isn't looking at Kebo so he can't see the non-surprised expression his wearing. ''And? I'm assuming you did your job and locked her up, which I have to say is wrong. I mean here I am sitting freely and you've never wanted to arrest me''.

Kebo has this habit of reminding Ward exactly how twisted this situation is sometimes. ''You think I don't know that?'' ''I think you do but you ignore it''. ''I let her go''. This time Grant sees the shock on his friend's face (honestly Kebo is still surprised he can fool Grant so easily, the man isn't the best since Romanoff for nothing.) ''You did? That's not like you. You're Special Agent Grant Ward, you never let your target go''.

''I'm aware''. ''Wait so what happened? Coulson doesn't know does he? Are they after you? I have a safe house not far from here there's a gun in my car''- ''Kebo, relax. Coulson doesn't know''. Grant then proceeds to tell him the events in order. Whitehall, the hotel room, how Hydra ambushed them and he gave Skye the slip. ''Holy shit''. Ward leans back against the leather of the booth, waits for Kebo to recover.

''You do realize you're an idiot right? Skye told you she loved you, that's the first person to ever tell you that and you didn't say it back? I know how you feel about her I know you're scared but Ward you've got to tell her''. ''I'm not saying anything, she's a criminal''. Kebo throws his hands up, ''oh for god sake come off it! What she did was it really that bad?'' Ward's expression turns hostile just for a moment as he thinks about it.

''She put my entire team in danger, she's the reason Simmons was shot she dropped her and Fitz into the ocean''. ''You said she told you if she didn't do that Garrett was going to kill them and probably her. Don't you think she was giving them their best chance? Grant I understand that you're angry but don't you think it's time to just let it go? Forgive her mate, holding a grudge won't do you any good''.

Ward shakes his head, ''I will never forgive her''. ''Well then you're going to suffer. You'll find her again lock her up, she'll be in jail for the rest of her life either at the Playground or worse Coulson might hand her over to General Talbot. And we both know who he's working for''. At the unspoken mention of his brother Ward stiffens, fights off the memories of Christian. He's always been afraid of him, and something he fears the most?

Christian getting his hands on Skye, Ward maybe hurt still but that won't happen. He'd protect her from him he doesn't even have to think about it. ''Christian isn't going to touch her''. Kebo takes a sip of scotch before responding his words not unkind, ''it won't be up to you. You wouldn't be able to stop it without breaking any rules. I'm just saying Ward it's a high possibility that you need to prepare for. If it happens, what would you do?''

The words are out of his mouth automatically he doesn't think, ''protect her''. Kebo looks down right smug and Ward fights the urge to slap him. ''You're a damn fool Ward. A stupid love struck fool I have no doubt that if you did put her in prison she'd have a mysterious break out. Of course no one would be able to trace it back to you''. Grant says nothing, just gets another drink and looks around once more.

Kebo is probably right but he isn't about to admit that. When he gets back to the table Kebo talks to him about the few things going on his life. Not much, ever since Lauren died all those years ago Kebo never really had much to live for after that. Sometimes he'll give Ward Hydra intel just for the fun of it, to help out a friend. It usually turns out to be useful. Two hours later Kebo is drunk out of his mind and Ward is pulling him into his car.

Ward has an apartment not too far from here and settles Kebo in it. Puts him on the couch where he falls asleep, Ward leaves a glass of water and asprin on the coffee table. Leaves a note informing Kebo of where everything is, how to work the shower. For some reason Kebo always has trouble with that and for the life of Grant he can't figure out why. After putting a spare gun in Kebo's view Ward locks the door and leaves.

The Playground is silent when he comes back, it's only eleven p.m but everyone is either asleep already or getting ready to turn in for the night. Coulson is locked in his office with May, Tip and Mack are already in their bunks, Ward passes the lab and sees Fitz there. ''Fitz everything okay?'' The engineer turns to him and Grant stiffens. Fitz is shaking one hand over his shoulder like Simmons is there but she's not and he doesn't understand.

That's when Ward notices Fitz's hand is bleeding. ''I I tried to I tried to make it to make it work but I, I couldn't. Jemma said to to to fix the, the fix the''- Fitz cuts himself off and turns away from Ward who gets the first aid kit and manages to coax Fitz into sitting down. Carefully Grant cleans and bandages his hands, glancing at the mess on the steel table beside him. Shards of metal are strewn about the space, it looks like Fitz tried to put something together but couldn't.

Leo is growing more upset by the second but then calms slightly when Ward puts a hand on his shoulder. ''Fitz it's okay. You're okay, we're going to fix it. Tell you what you want me to help you? Explain this to me and I'll try to put it together okay?'' This gentle side to Ward is new, the remaining members of his team were surprised by it as well. Grant can't help but feel guilty that he wasn't there to protect Fitz and Simmons when they needed him.

And in a lot of ways Fitz always reminded him of his little brother Thomas, so he tries harder with him than with anyone else to be there. So together for five hours he and Fitz struggle to put all the pieces of the device together. Finally at around four thirty in the morning it's complete and Ward isn't entirely sure what it is but Fitz is smiling his eyes are shining and that's all Grant cares about.

On his way to his own bunk after making sure FItz was fast asleep in his, Ward pulls out his phone and checks on Simmons again. There's a camera in her apartment that Coulson set up and while Ward told him time and time again how dangerous that was and an invasion of privacy, he was overruled. It's useful but sometimes Grant feels uncomfortable about it. She's fast asleep and he can rest easy now.

Instead of sleeping like the rest of the agents he changes into work out clothes once more and starts his morning routine. After an hour he turns to the punching bag just as May walks into the training room. She says nothing just watches him for a moment and Ward throws a cocky smirk at her to which she rolls her eyes. ''Want to spar?'' She asks, setting her water bottle down and approaching him.

Grant lifts his hands in response and she goes in for the kill. Some days Skye is the farthest from his mind, when he's distracted like this it's easy to forget the pain she's caused. But then he sees Fitz and how he's suffering and Ward does everything he can to help but it doesn't always work. He wasn't lying when he told Kebo he might understand Skye's reasons for joining Hydra, but Ward doesn't think he'll ever be able to forgive her.