Jer-bear
Jeremy Renner walked down the street of the quiet little neighborhood, as Jeremy Renners often do, and thought to himself about the odd proceedings of his day.
_____
He had been eating at his favorite Denny's, when Robert Downey Jr had called him up about a situation.
An odd situation.
An old woman had lost her grandchild, and was worried sick, and coincidentally, a little boy was terrorising people across town by riding his trycicle over people's toes.
Now, obviously, Jeremy and Tony-no, sorry, Robert-were the best men for the job.
What job, a fan fiction author asks herself for some reason while dreaming this?
Why, the job of making sure the old lady knew where her grandson was, and helping a dastardly little boy scar the good citizens of this town for life, of course!
Jeremy jumped up from his seat in the diner, and was somehow suddenly wearing a pink version of his Hawkeye costume.
He bolted out of there, and met Robert at their secret hideout location.
As he approached the appropriately romantic picnic, he saw Robert looking over a leapster-esque tablet thoughtfully.
Robert stood when he heard Jeremy's footsteps, his sexy red sequined prom dress flowing elegantly in the random inexplicable breeze.
"Oh, Jer-bear! I'm glad you're here! We simply must help that poor child accomplish his task of mortifying adults everywhere!" Robert said, draping an arm across his forehead dramatically.
"And the old lady, right." Jeremy said, stone faced.
"Yes, yes. Of course, anything for you, Jer-bear." Robert simpered, batting his eyelashes and clasping his hands.
"Good to know, Tony-toes." Jeremy looked at Robert with the loving eyes of a serial killer.
Robert then called up Jarvis, asking him to quickly deploy the briskles.
Jeremy didn't know what briskles were, but he knew that he had to get out of there before Robert got any weirder.
"This was fun, but I gotta run! Bye Starkyboi!" He said, booking it out of there as fast as super-humanly possible.
Then he realised that he had just rhymed, and paused misstep, almost tripping over a garden gnome.
He then proceeded to do 50 jumping jacks while singing cotton eyed Joe.
Phew! That was a close one!
Jeremy was now free to explore the suburban neighborhood he had stopped in, without the flying spaghetti monster chasing after him.
____
As Jer-bear thought upon this strange day, he did not notice the brunette spying on him through the bushes a few feet away.
She whispered the steps to an obscure waltz as she discreetly took picture after picture on her gen two iPod.
A certain redheaded fanfic author suddenly popped up next to her out of nowhere.
"Whatchya doing, Shishi?" She yelled loudly in the brunette's ear.
The brunette girl, apparently Shishi, jumped, and dropped the iPod.
"Shhhh! I'm spying on Jeremy Renner!" She glared at the redhead.
Jeremy then proceeded to jumscare the shiz out of them both, his face slowly morphing into a very angry duck.
•°•°•°•
I shot out of bed sweating profusely, and breathing heavily.
As I slowly remembered my dream, many thoughts ran through my head.
What?
What the absolute frickity frack tick tack did I just dream?
I ran a hand through my hair, grimacing at how sweaty it was.
Oh.
My.
Huckleberry Pie and his dog, Biscuit.
I thought, remembering exactly who was in my dream.
Robert Downy Jr is a freak!
No-wait, scratch that.
I'm thefreak.
Who the fun-time-Timn dreams stuff like that?!?!?!
I must be on some serious drugs.
I laughed quietly to myself, now hysterical in my confusion.
No I do not want what she's having, thank you kindly.
I rubbed my face tiredly.
Man I gotta write this down.