Mayonaise and the French Revolution
"How are thee on this fine morning?" James asked Matt, both of them dressed like they had stolen the French Revolution's wardrobe.
"Ah, I am doing quite well. And how are thee?" Matt replied, sitting down at the rough wooden table James had been waiting at. They had both agreed to meet at the Pub to get some guy time in before thanksgiving.
"Good, very good. But I did feel last Eve's meeting a bit lacking without you in it? Might I ask what had you indisposed at such a time?" James replied.
"Yes, you might. I was assisting the missus with her cooking. She wanted to try out a new mayonnaise recipe before the Thanksgiving feast she's hosting on Thursday night." Matt responded tersely, not fond of what James was implying.
"Thursday night? But I thought it was Thursday day." James was quite confused.
"You'd do well to read your invitation better. Yes it is Thursday night. And don't you say you didn't receive an invitation, I made sure to personally hand deliver it to your wife." Matt was rather miffed with James at this point.
"Well, pardon me for not reading carefully, it is hard to do when one's wife is breathing down one's neck," James bit back, looking away haughtily, "she's working on her mayonnaise recipe as well, you know. Finely diced spongebob, and all that."
"Ridiculous. Everyone knows that spongebob is best puréed for a decent mayonnaise." Matt scoffed.
"Hah, as if! You clearly don't know your mayonnaise recipes very well." James said, standing up.
"Well, I'd never! I'm leaving! Good day to you, Sir Ladybug!" Matt shoved up from the table, and stormed off.
"And to you as well, Lord Drosilmeyer!" James called bitterly at Matt's retreating form.
•°•°•°•°•
I sat up from the odd dream, confused and still bleary.
Why did they make their mayonnaise out of spongebob?
I thought, baffled by the concept.
Very carefully, of course. And spongebob is yellow, duh.
My mind responded, quickly, as if it was obvious.
Ah, yes. That makes sense. Yellow mayonnaise. Just like always.
I thought, slowly falling back asleep.
Because all was right in the world.
I had puzzled this one out, and now I knew the truth.
Obviously.
Clearly yellow mayonnaise is normal.