Chapter 7
All things considered he seemed to be doing well, likely because the bond was slowly breaking. Sometimes he had second thoughts but he’s fairly certain that the feelings were more on Steve’s end than his own. He was sure Steve would find some other person, maybe even a soul mate, to live happily ever after with while Tony worked out his relationship with T’Challa and kept things up with Rhodey. Either way his bond with Steve just wasn’t worth keeping no matter how wrong Steve thought he was about that. It was mostly the pain of the bond breaking talking anyways; Tony doubted he cared much for Tony outside of that. That was fine with him even if it made the time between the bond breaking and his new bond with T’Challa forming a pain in his ass. Once this was over Steve would come to his senses and they could all move on.
That didn’t mean Steve would make it easy on him though and Tony didn’t expect to run into him grabbing coffee from that small coffee shop down the block. In hindsight he should have known this was the kind of place Steve might hang out in but he doesn’t realize until he’s walking past Steve and he feels that familiar tug in his gut. He turns, confused as to why T’Challa would be in the coffee shop only to find Steve there staring at him like he hung the moon.
“Oh no, no,” he says and spins around to walk out but Steve catches him before he manages.
The contact Steve makes, even through the fabric of Tony’s jacket, makes his skin warmer and he swears under his breath. “Tony, please hear me out,” Steve says, sounding desperate.
“Steve, hear me out. I’m doing this for both of us, we both need to move on and find people that are better for us than each other. Actually you do, I found someone and I’m happy. You need to move on too,” he says. He wants to shake Steve off but he can’t bring himself to, probably what little of the bond is left holding them together. But he was doing this for the best, really doing this for the best.
“I love you Tony, I do and I know that we fight a lot-”
“Understatement-”
“I get that things aren’t smooth with us and I know that you-” Steve’s voice sticks and Tony gets the feeling that that’s a surprise to Steve too. “I know that you have T’Challa,” he manages to croak out, barely, while blinking rapidly, “but we have something. We always have. Please believe that,” Steve all but pleads. Tony is struck, much like the last time they did this, by the green in Steve’s eyes. He still has no idea what Zemo was talking about because they weren’t by any means flawed. In fact the green added dimension, beauty…
Tony shakes his head a little, snapping out of it. “Look Steve, I don’t disagree that we had something-”
“Then you’ll understand why I want to fight for this,” Steve interrupts.
“No Steve, I don’t. Just because we had something doesn’t mean it was worth keeping and I swear you’d agree if you couldn’t feel the bond breaking.” He wasn’t thinking straight, Tony wasn’t thinking straight either but he still knew what was best.
“Or maybe you’d be thinking right if the bond was fine,” Steve says. “I know we have our differences but we can work them out.”
“Steve,” Tony says, “I don’t want to work them out, that’s the problem. At a certain point you just know that someone isn’t right for you and I know, even more so because I have people who are right for me. I know how it feels to find someone who fits with you; I’ve had Rhodey for years and now T’Challa. I’m sorry but you couldn’t hold a match to either of them, and to be honest I could never hold a match to Bucky and he isn’t even your soul mate. The proof is in the pudding, we suck.”
*
T’Challa had known before Tony had even told him and if Tony didn’t feel like he was dying he’d feel worse. It hadn’t occurred to him that T’Challa was enhanced so he could literally smell Steve on Tony but he figured that whatever hurt feelings he had were lost when Tony lost his breakfast in the toilet. Fucking Steve, he had to be suffering at least a little less than Tony given that he had the serum and Tony didn’t.
“Are you alright?” T’Challa asks, rubbing his back like he had been for the last half an hour.
“Are you?” Tony croaks out, coughing a little.
“I am fine, you are the one in clear pain,” T’Challa says.
“I’ll be okay just… I just need time,” Tony says. He didn’t want to give it more time, didn’t want to have this fucking bond anymore but if he kept running into Steve it would continue to try and keep itself there.
“I… I do not want to but I have to go. Would you like me to call Rhodey?” T’Challa asks. Thank god for small mercies, Tony supposed, because there was at least a zero percent chance of Rhodey being off in some other country. But then the reason why that was the case sort of eliminated his gratefulness. Tony nods and T’Challa stays with him until Rhodey shows up. Thankfully by then Tony was well enough to stay on the couch even if he still felt like death.
“Hey,” Rhodey says, wheeling closer to feel Tony’s forehead, “you look like shit and you’re running a pretty high fever. Maybe you should get checked out…”
Tony smiles as best as he could under the circumstances, “I’m fine Rhodey, I just need to relax a little and I’ll be okay.”
Rhodey frowns, “relax a little? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but that’s all you’re currently capable of.” Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong Tony supposed. Rhodey gently runs his hand through Tony’s hair though, ignoring the sweat and sits with Tony in silence for awhile. When Rhodey finally talks he’s almost asleep, “I don’t know how I feel about you going to Wakanda,” he says.
“Hmm?” Tony mumbles, shifting so he’s sitting up a little.
“I… Look, this is hard for me but I need you here. Right now you being around is the only thing that’s keeping my shit together because I know that I can call you if I need it. I can’t do that if you’re across the world,” Rhodey says.
Tony does his best to blink himself back into awareness because that was really out of character for Rhodey. As long as he’s known Rhodey he’s always been the independent one, the one that never needed anyone’s help for anything. The last time Rhodey asked for Tony’s help with anything was when he was nearing the end of his Masters degree and needed someone to look over his homework and even then he looked resentful. “Technically you can still call me across the world,” Tony says.
Rhodey snorts, “don’t be a smart ass. You know what I mean, Tony. No one else understands me like you do and I really need that right now.” He looks serious, more than he usually did on any given day and Tony nods.
“I can always ask T’Challa if I can bring you too. A change of scenery would probably be good for you,” he says. They could both use the change in scenery.” Rhodey was getting dragged through the media mud as much as Tony was and that couldn’t be easy, especially in his situation. Tony knew how hard it was to deal with the media after a life-changing injury.
“That isn’t fair to either of you,” Rhodey says, shaking his head.
“And leaving you behind is fair to you? It’s fine Rhodey, I mean it’s been how long since you’ve been on vacation? But just so you know if birds attack you I’m leaving you behind because I value my life and birds have no souls. Especially geese, which makes no sense because they’re from Canada, aren’t Canadians supposed to be nice?” Geese were like the wasps of birds, horrible, loud, and will attack anything for a scrap of bread. Unfortunately Tony has been that anything on more than one occasion.
“Screw you Stark, those geese should have gotten you when they had the chance,” Rhodey says.
*
Tony knew T’Challa would agree to bring Rhodey along but Rhodey still tries to back out, not wanting to be a burden. He understood Rhodey’s hesitation to ask for help, and his hesitation especially. Tony has never been good as asking for help ever, usually Rhodey sensed he needed it before he ever had to ask, but accepting help was hard. It required trust in a person and trust wasn’t easy for the most level headed of people.
Rhodey certainly wasn’t willing to trust people to take care of him, he more prided himself in the ability to take care of other people and Tony understood that too. He tried to take care of others- and did terribly- but it was easier to extend your arm than to take someone’s hand. But he needed Tony and he wasn’t about to leave him behind just because he was stubborn. Tony was stubborn too and Rhodey was with him every step of the way, always. So he’d be there for Rhodey too because that’s what he needed.
“You are lucky to have someone like Rhodey in your life, and he is lucky to have you. I do not have many friends- they are difficult to find in my position,” T’Challa says. Rhodey sits across from them snoring away and Tony smiles.
“Yeah, I know. It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t want something from you at some point.” Everyone wanted something from him and they were more than willing to take it. It didn’t make him the most trusting of people and he doubted T’Challa was different given his high status and political position. Hell, he probably had enough people who stood against him politically that he had to screen for friends based on possible political sabotage alone.
“I can relate. But it is nice to see, you and Rhodey. You two work rather well together,” T’Challa says.
Tony remains quiet for a long moment, “you aren’t… jealous of that, are you? Because we don’t have the same kind of bond that you and I do. There’s nothing to be jealous of.”
“I am jealous, but not that you and Rhodey share an obvious bond. I am jealous that I do not have a bond like that with someone else. I know that the bond you have with Rhodey is not threat to our bond. If it were you never would have bothered with anyone but him, and given that we are currently together flying back to Wakanda that clearly is not the case,” T’Challa points out.
Tony nods, “good, because you’re right. Our bonds are totally different and unlike most I like to think they can coexist.” Some disagreed but Tony thought they were small minded and sad for restricting themselves like that. He wouldn’t give him his bond with Rhodey for anything and he was happy that T’Challa understood. Not everyone did.
“Of course they can. Unless he likes horses, then we must sever all ties. Soulless creatures,” T’Challa mumbles, shuddering.
“Bad experience?” Tony asks. T’Challa just gives him a look and Tony bursts out laughing, waking Rhodey up and earning himself a second dirty look.