Chapter 5
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“You’re going to yell at him when he wakes up, aren’t you?”
The question comes in the silence of the room drawing Clint’s eyes away from Steve in the hospital bed to Natasha in the chair next to him. She is looking straight at him, a little tired looking, a little worn looking. It has been a long day for all of them and she has stayed with him this whole time. He should tell her to go take a shower, go get some sleep, but he needs her right now so he doesn’t, answers her question.
“Probably.”
Clint would yell at him right now but Steve isn’t awake to hear it and if Clint is going to yell, then Steve is going to hear it. He is under sedation right now but the wound is already healing, he is going to be fine. Steve is going to be fine but he is still unconscious in a hospital bed because he took a shot to the gut today. He is going to be fine but he took a shot meant for Clint and Clint wants to yell at him for doing it, for putting himself in harm’s way but he has to wait till he is awake for it to do any good.
“Yelling at him isn’t going to change anything , isn’t going to stop him from doing it again.”
Natasha states this like it is a fact and Clint just looks at her for a long moment . She returns his stare and then speaks again with a little shrug.
“If he is anything like you, it won’t work. He’ll apologize, promise to be careful next time, and before you know it , he’ll do something stupid again and you’ll find yourself yelling again. I know from experience, lots of experience.”
She has narrowed her eyes into a bit of a glare at Clint so he knows exactly what she is referring to but there isn’t real anger in it, just fond irritation. It is true that Clint has done his fair share of stupid over the years, for Nat and for others, and Tasha has done her fair share of yelling at him for it. He could bring up how she has done her own stupid for him and how he has yelled about it but he doesn’t think it will do any good right now.
“I’ll remind you that it won’t do any good next time you get going but you’ll probably still yell at me.”
He says this and Nat gives him a small smile and then says one word.
“Probably .”
Clint returns her smile briefly before returning his eyes to Steve. The room settles into quiet again and a few moments pass before Clint breaks it.
“That shot was meant for me, I’m going to yell even if it won’t do any good. You can yell at him too.”
Clint has the right to yell at Steve if he wants to, it may not do any good but it will make Clint feel better. Natasha places her hand against his shoulder now and it draws his attention back to her.
“He took a shot for you but he is going to be ok. You may not have been. I won’t yell at him today, not for this, not even if you ask me to.”
Her voice is calm, no shake at all to it, but the tone reminds him of that day on the hellicarrier, after Loki, reminds him of when she said I’m compromised instead of I love you. She had been shaken then, worried that she could have lost him but not quite willing or able to show it and he realizes that she must have been worried today. He puts a hand over hers on his shoulder now, looks her in the eyes and speaks softly.
“I’m ok, you’re stuck with me a bit longer.”
He brushes a quick kiss against her forehead now and gets rewarded with a small smile.
“Thanks to him.”
She looks over at Steve in the bed for just a moment before turning her attention back to him. Clint understands where she is coming from but he isn’t quite ready to let his irritation go yet.
“Yep, thanks to the idiot in that bed.”
Natasha smirks just a tiny bit at his words before speaking.
“Usually you’re the idiot in that bed.”
She has a point but he shakes his head.
“I’m not today, he is.”
“At least he is your idiot apparently, like you’re mine.”
There is irritated fondness in her voice again and Clint smiles at it.
“And you’re my not idiot.”
Natasha rolls her eyes at him but before she can say anything another voice is heard, drawing their attention to the bed again.
“Who’s not an idiot?”
Steve is awake, just barely, but the sight of his eyes open and his body shifting on the bed fills Clint with relief and he can feel Natasha gives his shoulder a little squeeze and he squeezes her hand in return before moving his hand away.
“Natasha.”
Clint says this simply and Steve gives a little nod.
“I knew that.”
He says this and Natasha just gives a small smile as she gets up.
“I’ll see you boys later. Take it easy on him, he’s hurt.”
Those last words are to Clint, accompanied by a little pat to his shoulder and then she is leaving the room. It is just the two of them and Clint still wants to yell but first he reaches out and grabs one of Steve’s hands. It feels solid and warm in his grip and Clint gives himself a few moments to be glad he still gets to feel this before he asks a question.
“How are you feeling?”
He can get to the yelling in a bit, needs to know this. Steve just gives a little shrug.
“Not too bad, have had worse.”
He’s ok and Clint can vent now.
“It was stupid what you did, not worth the risk.”
It isn’t quite a yell yet but there is definitely just a bit of annoyance in his voice and Steve’s eyes narrow just a bit.
“It was worth the risk, you’re worth the risk.”
Steve says this and Clint just shakes his head.
“You’re needed Steve, you can’t just throw yourself in front of danger like that because one of us might get hurt.”
Clint means he can’t just throw himself in front of danger for Clint but he doesn’t phrase it like that.
“You’re needed too and I don’t regret taking the shot, would do it again in a heartbeat if it means you’re ok.”
Steve’s voice is fierce but calm when he says this and it warms something inside of Clint even if he is still a bit angry about the situation. Clint can’t hold back now.
“Damn it Steve, you don’t have to bleed for me! I didn’t ask you to. I don’t want to be the reason that you’re hurt.”
These words are loud, a shout, and Steve winces just a bit and Clint thinks that may have a bit to do with the fact that he is squeezing his hand tight now and just not with Clint’s tone. He makes himself loosen the grip just a bit, makes himself take a breath and then he speaks.
“You can’t tell me I don’t have to bleed for you and then bleed for me.”
These words are soft, almost a whisper but Steve still hears them, Clint knows he does. Steve reaches his hand that isn’t in Clint’s grip out, places it on Clint’s neck, fingers against his pulse. He just looks at Clint for a long moment and then he talks, words steady and sure.
“You didn’t ask me to, I chose to, and I would choose to again. You can yell at me if you want but it won’t change that I’m willing to hurt for you.”
Clint is still not happy with how things went today but there is something reassuring about those words. Steve cares, he cares so damn much, and Clint is still amazed at it sometimes. He just leans into Steve’s touch just a bit more right now before muttering some words just loud enough that Steve will still hear them.
“You’re ridiculously stubborn, you ever been told that before?”
“Many times.”
There is just a bit of smile on Steve’s face when he says this and Clint can’t really keep up the irritation anymore. Steve got hurt for Clint and he shouldn’t have but he is here and ok and that is really what matters. Still, Clint needs to make sure Steve understands something.
“You said it was your choice to hurt for me and I want you to know it is my choice if I do the same for you. Understand?”
Steve gives a short nod.
“You’re going to yell at me when I do, aren’t you?”
Clint asks this now and Steve gives another nod as he speaks.
“More than likely, just like you’re going to yell at me if I do this again.”
“Probably. Just don’t do it again and you won’t have to worry about the yelling. “
Clint says this now and Steve just gives a shrug.
“I’m used to yelling, it isn’t so bad.”
Clint shakes his head at him but he doesn’t really say anything right now, just leans in closer, brushes a kiss against Steve’s lips. It is maybe something he shouldn’t do here but damn it he watched his boyfriend get shot for him today so Clint is going to have some kisses. Steve returns it and Clint pulls back for just a moment to mutter some more words.
“It was still stupid what you did but I love you.”
He doesn’t even realize he said those last words till Steve’s eyes widen just a bit, a reaction to the confession Clint just made. It is true, Clint knows that much, he loves Steve, and that is exciting and terrifying all at the same time. He can figure out how to deal with all of that latter, for now he says something to Steve.
“You don’t have to say it back or anything, it just sort of slipped out.”
Clint means all of that, Steve doesn’t have to say it back, Clint can deal with Steve not quite feeling the same way right now as long as he cares and Clint knows he cares. Today proved that. Steve just looks at him for a moment before asking a question.
“So you mean it then?”
Clint doesn’t hesitate just says yes and Steve grins at it, leans forward and gives Clint a kiss and then speaks against his lips.
“Good, cause I love you too.”
It is an amazing thing to hear and Clint smiles, takes another kiss. They pull apart after a bit but stay close, hands still touching, and after a bit Clint gets the tv remote, finds something to watch. Some med personal come in after a bit, look Steve over and say that he should stay over night just to make sure and then they are left alone. It is a little bit after that when Clint’s phone goes off and there is a message from Nat waiting for him.
still there?
He types out of his reply quickly.
Steve has to stay over night, probably be here a bit longer.
how did it go
She asks and he answers.
yelled a bit he yelled back we kissed there was mushy confessions it is all good now if you want to come back
be there in a bit I’ll bring pizza
Clint grins at her reply and then sends another request
you’re awesome bring it too please
ok, will do
She sends him this, doesn’t ask what it is and Clint just puts his phone away and tells Steve that Nat is going to come and bring them dinner. Steve just says that sounds good and goes back to watching what they found, one of the food completion shows. Nat shows up after a while, pizza boxes and two bags in hand and looks up at the tv as she enters.
“You convinced him to watch these?”
She says this to Clint but before he can answer Steve speaks.
“They aren’t so bad, kind of fun. What pizza did you bring?”
“Supreme, pepperoni, veggie, and some cheese sticks. Some soda too.”
She says this simply as she moves closer to them, puts the pizza boxes down and hands Clint one of the bags as she opens up the other one. He puts the bag she gave him under his chair, will take care of that later, right now he eats some pizza with his favorite people.
It is over all a fairly decent evening, Nat stays for a bit, finishes dinner with them and then heads back, tells Clint he should shower and sleep in his own bed instead of the chair before she leaves. He plans to do that but first he has something else he wants to do and he gets the bag out now.
“I got something for you, was saving it for when one of us did something stupid. I really thought it was going to be me but I guess you proved me wrong.”
He says it with just a bit of teasing in his voice and Steve just gives a little shrug before speaking with the same sort of tone.
“I like proving people wrong. Let’s see what it is.”
Clint hands him the bag and Steve opens it up, pulls the bear at it. He stares at it for a while before giving Clint a bit of a look and Clint just smirks back at him.
“It is cute and you have something to cuddle with tonight.”
Steve gives a little smile and shakes his head a bit but still tells Clint thank you and gives him a kiss before he leaves. The next day when Steve is back in his apartment and Clint goes over to see how he is doing, the bear is in the living room, sitting in one of the chairs and Clint just smiles at the sight of it.
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