Monster
The secret side of me
I never let you see
I keep it caged
But I can't control it
The cold, hard, grey walls of my cave closed in on me, making me feel caged. I crave for the comfort of my home at the Avengers Compound, but after what happened a week ago, there is no way they would take me back. And all of it was my fault. I had lied to them, my only family and friends. I kept a secret from the people that gave me everything. I planned on telling them one day, but I never wanted them to find out like this...
Flashback
The mission was running smoothly at first. I was paired with Nat and Clint like usual, my combat skills being on par with theirs. We were taking care of the perimeter guard, keeping them from going inside after Steve, Bucky, and Tony. It was supposed to be easy, hence there only being six of us.
Everything was going fine until I felt a sharp prick in my neck. I reached up and pulled the syringe from where it was lodged, eyes going wide as I saw the little drop of yellow liquid that remained inside. My skin crawled as the drug from the syringe took its hold over my body. Nails grew to claws, and silver horns grew from my head. My tail and wings reformed from where I had them hidden as tattoos on my skin, ripping my clothes to shreds. My teeth and ears returned to their sharp, defined points. Blue and silver scales quickly broke from my skin, the light of the moon reflecting off of them. Finally, my pupils changed from their humanistic round shape to sharp slits, the soft grey of my irises becoming a vibrant blue.
I cried out as my mutation reclaimed its hold on me. Everything was a blur as I ripped off the remaining bits of fabric from my body and attacked the enemy. My only focus was defeating the enemy and getting as far away as possible from my friends as I can so I don't hurt them. When I had taken the last enemy down, I looked to my team one last time. I could smell the fear coming from them, and my heart sank as one of my worst fears came true. Bucky tried to come towards me, but I took two steps back for every one he took forward. My eyes watered as I jumped into the air, flying off into the night. I had checked behind me several times, just in case they tried to follow me, but they didn't, and for that I was grateful.
So stay away from me
The beast is ugly
I feel the rage
And I just can't hold it
End Flashback
I'm usually able to control my shift, drawing it in or calling it out at will, but that drug messed everything up. I'm stuck in my monstrous, dragonoid form and no matter what I do, it won't go away. The only thing I have left to who I am is this cave and my instincts. It's been a several years since the last time I was here, mainly because I haven't needed to return since I joined the Avengers. They knew nothing about my mutation, since it wasn't in any of my files. They don't know about my cave, which was also kept off my files.
I barely slept, my nightmares being too terrifying to deal with. When I was awake, I was either deathly silent or crying my eyes and heart out. The silence was usually when I had to leave my cave to get food...which was only once a day. There was a fresh spring in the back of my cave, so I didn't have to worry about collecting water.
It's scratching on the walls
In the closet, in the halls
It comes awake
And I can't control it
Hiding under the bed
In my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this?
Make it end!
I was curled up in my nest crying. My mind wouldn't leave me alone. Instead, it chose to torture me with the thoughts that I'll be alone forever. That the friends and family I had made with the Avengers now hated me and saw me as the monster I truly am. I so badly wanted to be wrapped up in someone's arms and told that everything will be ok and that they don't hate me and that they aren't scared of me. I was so lost in my misery that I hadn't noticed someone enter my cave and walk towards me. The person laid a gentle hand on me after several failed attempts to get me to respond to my name. I reacted to the sudden contact, my claws lashing at the intruder. I froze in my place when I saw them, and another fear became reality, hurting the ones I loved.
I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster