Chapter 3
It is funny. There is so many ways to grieve. How everybody grieves differently. People get angry and do so many awful things, go to drugs to get away from the pain, or just shut down. The last one seems to be the way I grieve. For many months I just sat on my bed and stared out of the window with my mind blank. I watch the seasons go by from autumn to winter then to spring. George tries to make me feel better but then quickly realizes that I need to do this part on my own.
It seemed to go well until the nightmares started to come. Filled with pain and fear that just makes me scream. It's kind of like I have this huge hole in my heart that can not be filled. Every night at some point my dad wakes me up from the nightmares and I only cry. It feels like this pain won't go away and I hate that. I know I need to do something about this because I feel so guilty for waking George each night.
So I tried not to fall asleep. It worked the first night but I fell asleep the second night to fall into the same trap. One other thing that I hate is the fact that I can't pay attention to class. So many people are talking about me because they make sure I can hear. How I'm crazy and just nothing but a slut looking for sex. I try not to let the words get to me but with me already in depression from the break up. It only gets worse so I avoided people. I sit where Steve sits at lunch by myself. Nobody dared go to the crazy depression Omega. Fuck people can just be so mean, they just have to make you feel worse about yourself.
I don't know why but I keep trying to send Natasha emails and even though it doesn't send them off, it makes me feel lighter than air because I was able to get it off my chest. It looks like my father is giving up on me and my stupid heartbroken heart because before I was able to go to school he closes my truck door before I could even hop in. "Okay that's it. You are going to Jacksonville to live with your mother." He says. "No. I want to stay here. She wouldn't understand." I say quickly.
I can get better, I really can. I wanted to tell George so badly but he will only think of it as a excuse. "Buck, you know he is not coming back." George says. "I know." I say coldly. Lately I have only been feeling angry at myself for even falling in love with a Alpha. At the moment I hated the Omega in me. "Bucky I don't know what is going on in your brain but your behavior as been scaring me and your mother too. Go hang out with your friends." He pleads. "I am. I am going uh shopping with Wanda and Darcy." I say. "You hate shopping." George says. I sigh. "I know but I am just trying to get past this. I'm sorry you can't sleep and you are always worried sick but I am going to get better and before you say anything I am not trusting a Alpha ever again." I say and get into my truck.
I drive off and force my attention to the road and off my anger. Once I get there I see the group. I take a deep breath and walk up to them. "Bucky, hey." Bruce says gently. "Hi guys. I'm sorry I haven't been hanging out with you guys I just needed time to pull myself out of my head." I say. "We forgive you." Darcy says. "So... Bucky's back?" Tony asks. I smile. "Bucky is back." I say and they all smile and cheer making me laugh. At the moment I didn't dare think about the blonde Alpha with blue eyes and a vampire. I felt at peace for once and I felt happy again.
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Wanda and Darcy had agreed to go see a movie with me and we were laughing and talking. But we stopped when a group of Alpha's decided to surrond us. "Well what do we have here. Three Omega's." Says one of them. I look down and tried to ignore the stab of pain in my heart. "Don't do anything reckless." I remember Steve saying that to me. I felt anger flare in me and I glare at them. One of them tres to get closer to me and I snapped. "Fuck off!" I hiss and push one out of the way. Darcy and Wanda wen ahead of me and I see them run.
What the fuck? They just left me behind and at that moment I felt fear run through me. "So much for your friends. They just left you behind, and nobody is coming to save you. Get him boys." The five Alpha's started to run towards me. I didn't have time to run and they grab onto me. "Let go of me!" I yell hoping someone will hear me. I sruggle and scream. "Shut him up!" Yells the sixth one which must be the leader of this gang.
I kick and pulled. Just then I hear more footsteps run. Tears start to fall and I bit the Alpha's hand that put it over my mouth. "Fuck! That bitch just bit me!" One of them yells. Just then people tackle them down. I gasp and scramble back as I fell. I felt the wall hit my back. Once the Alpha's run off I shrink into a ball by bringing my knees to my chest and putting my head down on it and squeezing my eyes shut. I only looked up when I heard nothing but silence and I saw a sight that made me sob out of relief. "Brock." I whimper and he sits down and pulls me into a hug.
"Shhhhh it's okay. I'm here nobody will hurt you." Brock whispers and rests his cheek on top of my head. I sniffle and pull away to wipe at my eyes. "Thank you for saving me. God knows what they were going to do to me." I say softly. "What were you doing out on your own?" Brock asks concern. "I wasn't. Darcy and Wanda were with me and they just ran and left me behind. So much for friends." I mutter and try to keep the tears in but they still came out. I look down and just suddenly felt exhausted and I lean mt head back against the wall and close my eyes and sniffle. "Come on lets get you home." Brock says gently and helps me up.
Brock drove me home since I couldn't really do it. I let my head rest against the window and stare ou of it. I didn't know why but I was hoping it would be Steve and he would apologize for what he said. But I was so stupid to even think that. Brock stops the truck and stops it. "Wait here for a minute." Brock says and walks up to the house just as George comes out. They talk for a few minutes but then George rushes towards the truck. He opens the door and picks me up and starts to carry me towards the house once again.