Market
“When’s the last time you saw Bucky?”
Y/N sniffs and adjusts the basket on her arm. “A few days ago.”
“He misses you,” Steve says, half sighs exasperatedly.
She doesn’t say anything for a moment as she picks up an apple, examines it, and puts it back down. “I don’t care.”
They’re at an outdoor market, people milling around in the early morning sun searching for fresh produce. Steve wants to say something else but he really doesn’t know what. He finds his voice eventually as he watches Y/N pick up a few plums and put them into her basket, subconsciously buying something for Bucky. "Yes you do. You care," he says tiredly. Then, when she glares at him he says, “Look he’s really sorry, Y/N-,”
“Sorry?” She asks, whipping around to look him in the eyes. “He laughed at me.” Her voice trembles dangerously. “He laughed and called me ridiculous. I tell him I’m afraid of losing him and he-,”
“I think,” Steve interrupts. “That he meant it might be a little ridiculous to him because he feels like he’s already lost you and he’s trying so hard to get you back. He wasn't laughing at you, it's just that the whole thing seems like one practical joke after the other to him, of things and people trying to take you away. He’s never felt like he’s been anything but yours so for you to feel like he might leave you-”
Her nose scrunches up in irritation even as a blush coats her cheeks. “He should have said so then. Instead he let me-,” Y/N stops again and whirls back around. The whole thing is somewhat ridiculous. “He let me leave that night. He let me storm away.” Her throat tightens. “I just feel like I’m taking advantage of his kindness and that he’ll eventually tire of me not being the person he knows, the person he really loves. Because he doesn't love me, he loves her, the girl in his memory.”
“You’re you. That’s all he’s concerned about. And you’re trying so hard. He’s waiting for you to leave him, you realize that don’t you?”
She swallows hard and moves away from Steve. “I’m just going to be over here a moment.” A horrible fissure runs through her voice and she coughs, trying desperately to clear it. “I don’t want to talk about Bucky anymore. I’ll see him when I’m ready. It’s hard to have your fears laughed at no matter how absurd.”
Steve lets her wander off on her own for a moment, deciding it best to let her collect her thoughts alone. Because she’s not wrong and he knows that. He turns and heads in the other direction of the small market.
Y/N wanders around the stalls for a while, picking up anything that takes her fancy, examining it, and then either putting it in her basket or dropping it back to the pile. A smile graces her face when she looks up at the vendors.
“Doll?” Bucky is smiling at her, tugging on her hand. He looks up at the old woman selling tomatoes and grins wider before looking back to Y/N. “Want some, baby? She only sells the best. Isn't that right Ms. Bright?”
The old woman shakes her head with a smile on her face. “You’re such a charmer, James Barnes.”
Y/N's hand tightens on his, “I think so too.”
“Right,” Bucky says, proud blush coating his cheeks. “We’ll take four.”
Y/N stumbles, bringing her hand not occupied with the basket up to her forehead. Pain pulses through her skull as someone puts a hand on her shoulder to steady her. “Are you okay?”
She looks up into a pair of brown eyes. He smiles at her, showing his teeth. “Uh, I’m fine. Thanks.”
“Are you sure? You looked like you were about to pass out.” Something about him seems familiar but she can’t quite put her finger on it. He has short thick, dark hair neatly combed to the side and a gentle smile on his face. She realizes belatedly that she’s staring. “Ma’am?”
She glances away and takes a step back. “Yes. I’m-I’m okay.” He’s muscular and quite handsome. “I just need to get back to my friend.”
“Oh. You’re here with someone.” He ducks his hand, shaking it sadly. "Of course a girl like you would be with someone."
For a moment she stays quiet, tries to assess the strange feeling in her stomach. “Well he’s just my friend Steve. I should be getting back to him though.”
He perks up at that, extending his hand. “Mind if I get the name of such a pretty girl?” Y/N blushes and takes his hand, murmuring her name quietly. “I’m Jake. It’s good to meet you. This might be a little forward but maybe you’d like to go out sometime?”
“Oh,” She takes her hand back. “I, uh, I-,” Y/N stutters to a stop. Does she already have a person? Who is Bucky to her? Someone who wanted to keep her. Someone she might love but whom she wasn’t with. Someone who wanted her to be better but who also seemed unable to accept she might never remember.
And what then?
What if she never remembered?
He had laughed at her fears. But she also thinks he might be in a little bit of denial. She might never be herself again.
Y/N shifts her weight from foot to foot. And Bucky hadn’t exactly tried to find her over the last few days. Maybe he’s finally coming to his senses. Maybe he had figured out that she’ll never be the same again. A sick feeling pools in her gut.
Because she hadn't been lying. She thinks she probably loves him.
But this guy, Jake, doesn’t know anything about her. She can be whoever she’s starting to become and not disappoint him. “Maybe I’ll just take your number for now.” She smiles sweetly at him.
She should let Bucky go, no matter how hard he tried to clutch onto her. Because she’d never be the same as before and all she’d ever do is disappoint him. “Sure,” the guy is saying, smiling widely. “Yeah, of course. I’d love to take the girl in the pretty sun dress out sometime.”
“Oh so the dress is pretty but not me?” She says suddenly, surprising herself as she takes his proffered phone and enters her phone number.
Jake chuckles. “Never said that. The dress is pretty. The girl is beautiful.”
Another blush flames her cheeks as she hands his phone back. “Well maybe I’ll see you around.” He glances over her shoulder and seems to see something he doesn’t like. Quickly he leans forward and kisses her cheek. His mouth lingers a little long against her skin but she chalks the shiver that runs up her spine to anticipation and excitement.
“See ya around. Really good to meet you and remember to sit down if you feel dizzy again.” He sends her another charming smile and then walks away.
She’s still smiling when she finds Steve by the entrance to the market. “Hey, you ready to go?” Steve frowns then. “What’s got you smiling so big?”
“Nothing. It’s just a beautiful day.”
~
Sam has invited Natasha and Wanda over for dinner again and Y/N has mistakenly told them about the person she had met at the market. They seemed happy for her but then again they both disapproved heavily of Bucky.
Nat in particular seemed to distrust him immensely. And they wanted to hear all about the stranger from the market.
However, Sam seemed to think the whole thing a bad idea. “Giving your number to a complete stranger I mean c’mon Y/N…and you’re leading Barnes on now-,”
“No she isn’t.” Wanda says.
Natasha nods. “He’s made her feel terrible and guilty. Love isn’t supposed to do that.”
“Oh so the strange man in the market is better?”
“Ignore Sam. Tell what he looks like! Is he cute?”
Y/N starts to describe him as the two girls listen and Sam rolls his eyes. He had thought normalcy important and so he had so far kept up weekly dinner with the girls. But now he’s starting to think maybe the girls were a bad influence, encouraging the wrong things. And then he starts to listen closer to her description of the man.
Sam turns from the stove, watches the girls talk at the table, and then interjects. “Y/N…do you actually remember Rumlow? What he looks like?”
She pauses mid-sentence and looks over. “I’ve had memories about him. But none actually featuring him. Why?”
Dread courses through Sam’s veins before he pulls out his phone and searches for a picture of the other man.
“Is this the man from the market?” He walks closer and holds out his phone.
She takes his phone, pales, and then very slowly, she nods. Sam’s heart is beating fast and he opens his mouth to say something when Y/N shoots up from the table, drops his phone, and darts to the bathroom. Sounds of retching echo down the hall as Sam snatches up his phone and searches for Steve’s contact. The girls run to help Y/N and Sam thinks that things have gone from bad to very seriously fucked, bypassing worst altogether.
"Hello?"
"He's back."