Confusion
Sam calls Steve.
Steve calls Bucky.
Bucky is at the gym with one of their trainers, who happens to be giving him great news. He’s right on track to be going back into matches soon. It’s been months since Y/N has been back in his life and the trainer seems to think she’s a positive influence. He’s less violent and less easily prone to aggravation. With a pep in his step, he leaves the gym, unaware that his old enemy has returned and is watching him from across the street.
On a brand new motorcycle.
Natasha protests Bucky being called. She doesn’t want to see him.
Wanda disagrees and holds Y/N’s hair back, who is still violently throwing up as the population of the apartment watches from the doorway. Bucky should be called. Or, no, they should do what Y/N wants.
“What do you want, Y/N?” Wanda’s voice is soft and comforting.
And she only has one answer as she leans against the cool porcelain. “Bucky.”
Natasha rolls her eyes, protectiveness sliding off her in waves. “He hurt you. He-,”
Y/N struggles away from Wanda and stands, her legs shaking beneath her. “No. He didn’t. I know what happened. He told me what happened. And this…this Rumlow person proves it.” Her stomach lurches again when she says his name. “You don’t know what happened between us, don’t pretend you do. I’m afraid. I want him here.”
No one says anything for a moment before Natasha asks lowly, “What happened then? What did Rumlow do? Tell us.”
She doesn’t think she should, something like suspicion growing inside her. But she opens her mouth anyways right as the front door is thrown open. “Y/N!”
A much quieter voice murmurs, “You’re going to upset her more, Buck. You need to calm down.”
Boots scuff against the floor as both men make their way through the apartment. Bucky and Steve appear in the doorway behind Natasha and Sam. There’s a tense moment of silence as they all stare at each other before Bucky shoulders past Nat who seems to be trying to block his way in. She’s surprisingly hard to move for someone who is relatively small.
When he reaches Y/N he wraps his arms around her and buries his face in her neck, inhaling her sweet scent. “Tell them to leave,” he whispers in her ear. “They won’t do it if I tell them.”
And because she does want to be alone with Bucky, and because she does want them to leave, she says, “Please go.”
They do. Slowly, and one at a time, but they do. The girls take an especially long time to go.
When the door snaps shut Bucky reaches out and locks it. They sink to the ground together after that, Bucky pulling her securely against his chest, his back against the door. “It’s going to be okay.”
She clutches at his shirt with desperate fingers. “Why won’t he leave us be?”
“He will.”
“Bucky, we have to go to the police.” Her voice cracks, “How am I supposed to live like this? I’m so stupid. I played right into it.”
He rubs her back carefully, “Tell me what happened.”
The fear that Bucky will leave her comes creeping, sneaking back, right under her skin, worming back into her heart. But she tells him because he deserves to know. She recounts what happened at the market that morning. “-and I agreed to give him my number. Because I think you deserve more. I think you deserve that girl that you that you search for every time you look me in the eyes. I’m never going to be her again. I don’t know how to be her-,”
Anger surges through him before she lets out a terrible sob and whispers, “I just want you to be happy. And I can’t do that. I can’t make you happy.”
The fact that she’s currently being hunted and sought after by a person who had abused her, taken her memories, but is still worrying about his happiness astounds him. And if that isn’t proof that she’s still the same person at her core, he doesn’t know what is. “You do make me happy. I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t enough.” His fingers slide down her spine, her face tucked against his neck. “You don’t have to be anyone. And you are still you, in ways you don’t even realize or understand. But I see it. I see you. I see you.”
She’s still and silent against him.
“And I won’t let anything happen to you ever again.”
Y/N turns to kiss his cheek before she pulls away from him and stands. “I want to go home.”
He frowns and stands as well, immediately taking her hand back, “You are home.”
“Our home. Our apartment. I’m too nervous here.”
A nod, a small confirmation, is all it takes for her to unlock the door and drag him out of the bathroom.
~
Somehow, it’s almost like old times.
Y/N sits in bed with a pillow in her lap and a notebook resting there. She’s writing. She won’t say what.
Her feet are under the comforter, pressed against his side, cold as they always have been. Bucky’s lying down, staring at her as her nose scrunches with concentration.
He wants to ask her to be his girl again. But he doesn’t really know how, especially when he thought they were together already and Y/N hadn’t had a clue. So, he says nothing. It’s silent and still and despite what had happened earlier in the day, it’s almost peaceful. His eyes droop.
Then the soft scratch of her pencil on paper stops. Bucky’s just about to fall asleep when, “He kissed me.”
Suddenly wide awake, he shoots up and stares at her. “He what?” He growls out.
“On my cheek.” She doesn’t seem as concerned as Bucky feels. In fact her voice seems void of any emotion. “And when he was a stranger I thought it was just a…sweet gesture. But now-,” Y/N pauses and bites her lip. “I think he was marking me.”
Bucky wraps an arm around her, then tilts her chin up and presses his lips against hers. It's possessive yet soft. “I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you. Not again.”
She meets his eyes and presses one hand to his cheek. The notebook and pencil lie forgotten as they lie back together. He kisses her lazily until they both start to nod off. He swipes away the tears the roll down her cheeks and wishes that she could be happy.
~
Y/N wakes to her phone ringing. A sleeping Bucky doesn’t even stir. So she disentangles herself from him and grabs the vibrating device. Her heart seems to stop beating when she looks at the display.
A blocked number is calling her.
Making a split second decision she darts out of their room and into the bathroom.
She swipes her finger across the screen before she can chicken out or change her mind. “Hello?”
“Hey, sweetheart. By that gathering at your old man’s place tonight I’d say someone figured out who I am.” The smirk in his voice makes her want to scream.
A shiver runs up her back as something scratches at her mind. “What do you want from me?” She feels defeated already.
He sighs deeply, “I don’t want anything from you. I just want you.” Sincerity coats his voice, making Y/N shiver hard again. No doubt he does.
“I want you to leave me alone.”
He ignores her. “I saw you standing there this morning and it was just too good to be true. But it was you and you looked at me and didn’t recognize me and I did the best I could. I lied to you, yes. But you broke my heart this morning. How could you not remember me? After everything we’ve been through together? But I didn’t want to scare you. No doubt Barnes has been spinning lies about me. Again.”
Bile rises in the back of her throat. But she has to know. She has to. “What are you talking about?” He sounds eerily like Bucky. Bucky has said those things to her before, or some version of them. Everything we’ve been through.
“Baby…me and you. What lies has he been telling you?”
Her mouth trembles. She doesn’t know what to say. “Don't call me that. He says a lot of things and I have people to back it up as fact.” But she sounds unsure, even to her own ears.
“Mm. I’m sure you do. All of Barnes’s friends.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you mean everything to me. And how that sob story Barnes has managed to win you over I’ll never understand. We’re meant to be together, me and you. It was so good Y/N-,”
A wild surge of volatility surges through her. “No!” She shouts. “No, you hit me! You abused me, you were horrible to me-,”
“Was I? Is that what he told you? That I beat you? Controlled you? I never laid a hand on you. If you should be mad at anyone it should be him. He’s the one that’s so dependent he can’t live without you. You got into Columbia. You were going to go to law school. Instead you stayed here and became what? A writer? An artist? Because he needed you to, because his career was taking off. I encouraged you to go. He couldn’t stand it. He’s always been jealous and protective.”
“Shut up.”
He chuckles a little, humorless and bitter. “You don’t know what to believe. He could be a liar. And you wouldn’t have a damn clue. I’ve always been there for you to fall back on when he gets mean. He’s admitted that at least hasn’t he? That he gets mean when he thinks you’re slipping away, when he gets afraid you might leave him. And then you conveniently lose your memory? Forget all the mean things he said and did? Nice.”
She can’t speak. Because he’s right. She doesn’t know.
“I’ve gotta go now, baby. Maybe he never hit you, but he kept you hidden when you were meant to shine. You should have been doing great things by now. Oh, gotta cut us off here. He’ll be at the door.”
The phone goes dead. Someone knocks loudly at the door. “Y/N?”