Nothing Is Going On

Saying that Sirius and Remus immediately figured things out would be a lie. Saying that they got together the next day would be even more of a lie. Because Sirius and Remus are some complicated bastards. 

But what wouldn’t be a lie is saying that they tried. That they try. And them trying is beautiful to witness. It is messy and blurry and full of incomprehensions but it is beautiful. 

It is beautiful in the way Sirius would go to the library with Remus. It is beautiful in the way Remus would let Sirius stay with him while he studies in the common room. It is beautiful in the way they would share food. It is beautiful in the way Remus sometimes read his books out loud to Sirius. It is beautiful in the way Sirius would openly flirt with Remus at any given moment, any opportunity. It is beautiful in the way they would look at each other when they think no one is watching. It is beautiful in the way they almost always touch, rarely too much, but just enough to know the other one is there. 

Their love is just so fucking beautiful that you want to put it in a bottle, to keep it safe, to protect it from every little inconvenient of life. But since Sirius and Remus are Sirius and Remus, they create their own little inconvenient, that doesn’t make them less beautiful to witness. Because there is beauty in the way they fight too. 

“That’s it, Marls.” Mary says a Friday night in the common room, “You’re the only one of us who is single.”

“What do you mean ‘the only one of us’? Don’t forget about Peter.”

“Peter has a girlfriend. Don’t you know? Ravenclaw girl named Sara. Very nice girl.”

“Since when?” Marlene asks alarmed. 

“A bit less than a week.”

“No way! Why did I not know?”

“Distracted maybe.” Mary says and Marlene knows what she means. Christmas break started today and everyone is leaving on Monday. “ I’m sorry you cannot come but it’s complicated with my brothers and all.”

“That’s not a problem Mary, really.” Marlene says. “I love Christmas at Hogwarts and I’ll be at the Potters for Christmas Day. It’s alright.”

“Still, I’m sorry you have to stay alone.”

“I won’t be alone.” Marlene says with a movement of the hand. “There will be all the seventh year revising their NEWT. Exalting!” 

Mary lets out a small laugh. Marlene rolls her head back to face the ceiling. There is no trace of cheese anymore. The party where she kissed Dorcas was almost a month ago. It seems so close and so far away at the same time. 

“Anyways,” Mary says after a time. “Do we go to the Hufflepuff’s pre-Christmas party tomorrow night?”

“To get high and eat nice chocolate? Of course we go!”

Mary looks at her for a moment not saying anything. “Dorcas is going to be there.” She finally says. 

“Mary, for Godrick’s sake, stop with that! What will convince you that nothing is going on between Dorcas and I?”

“Nothing.” Mary answers. “You know I know. I always do.”

“You don’t always.” Marlene mumbles. 

“Yeah? Tell me the last time I was wrong about something like that.”

Marlene doesn’t answer because there is no answer, Mary always feel those kind of things. She knows when things will work out or when it won’t and she basically always knows. But Marlene intends to break the spell. 

“Well, I’ll prove you wrong. I’ll be the exception which confirms the rule.”

When Mary is about to response she is interrupted with Sirius’ angry voice yelling ‘la salope’. 

They turn to see Sirius and Regulus descending the stairs. 

“Non Regulus, non! C’est à moi qu’il l’a donné, pas à elle!”

“Je n’ai pas dit le contraire mais-”

“Il l’a légué à moi. À moi! Elle n’a rien eu pour une raison!”

Marlene doesn’t understand everything from the conversation but from years of being friend with Sirius, she catches a few things. Well, okay no, she just knows they are talking about their mother but it’s probably only because when they argue in french, it’s always about her, and less likely about her french skills. 

“Sirius, bordel, je ne te dis pas de lui rendre! Je te fais passer le message.” Regulus answers. 

“Et qu’est-ce que tu veux que je fasse? J’en ai rien à foutre! Tu sais où elle peut se la mettre sa bague!”

“He is asking what he should do, saying that he doesn’t give a fuck and the conversation is around, well, a ring?” Marlene whispers to Mary who looks at her not understanding. How she understood all those things, she doesn’t know, but she feels less behind. 

“J’en sais rien, Sirius. J’avais aucune intention de te mettre en colère mais je devais te prévenir qu’elle veut la récupérer, non?”

“Tu penses qu’elle va tenter de me la prendre?” Sirius answers, almost inaudibly. 

Regulus answers something that Marlene doesn’t ear but she probably wouldn’t have understand. 

“Why do they always have to argue in french?” Mary asks. “These Blacks are so dramatic! We cannot even get entertainment from their fights!”

Marlene lets out a laugh as she sees Sirius and Regulus coming to them. 

“Hi.” Sirius says in a breath, letting himself fall in the sofa next to her. 

Regulus sits in an armchair in front of them and nods in sign of greet. 

“Hi boys.” Mary says. “What was that all about?”

Sirius looks alternatively between Marlene and his brother. 

“Sirius thinks our mother is a bitch.” Regulus says deadpan.

“She is!” Sirius says. “T’es de son côté maintenant?”

“Stop.” Marlene says, raising her hands. “Visibly, the issue is not between the two of you so could you, please, stop fighting?”

“She wants me to give her my uncle Alphard’s ring. He gave it to me when he died.” Sirius says, showing the ring at his finger. “Along with everything else. She is not going to have shit!”

“It’s a family ring.” Regulus specifies. 

“I am still family, that I know.” Sirius says, visibly upset. 

“You’ve been disinherited !”

“Oh yeah? And don’t you think you would be too if they knew the whole story?” Sirius says bitterly between his teeth. 

“Tu vas trop loin.” Regulus says tightening his stitches. 

“Okay, stop.” Marlene says once more, knowing that things can now explode at any given moment. 

The two brothers glare at each other in silence for a long, long moment. The atmosphere is the kind of tense Marlene hates. 

“I should go.” Regulus says, standing up. 

“Yeah, probably.” Sirius answers, venom in his words. 

“Regulus-” Marlene tries but he is already gone. She turns to Sirius, “Sirius.”

“I went too far, right?”

Marlene nods. Most of the time, Sirius doesn’t realise when he is going too far, it’s only afterwards that the dots connect. His words can hurt deeply and it is worst with Regulus. They both know where to hit each other. 

Sirius groans and burry his face in one of the sofa’s pillow. Marlene pats sympathetically his back while she notices Remus and Lily approaching. 

“Don’t freak out, you’re boyfriend is coming.”

“Which one?” Sirius genuinely asks, taking his head out of the pillow. His gaze softens and an honest and fond smile appears on his face when he sees Remus. “Hello gorgeous!” He calls. 

Marlene notices Remus slightly blushing while he sits next to Sirius and mumbles a greet to all of them. Lily sits in the armchair Regulus just left. 

“Hello love of my life.” Mary says, smiling at her. 

“Okay so, is that it?” Marlene asks, throwing glances at her friends looking at their significant other with lover eyes, “Am I going to hold the candle all the time?”

“No you’re not.” Lily says at the same time Sirius answers: “yes you are.”

He bursts into laughter and Marlene rolls her eyes. She’s not even jealous just so happy for them. She leans to Sirius ear. 

“I’m glad you two figured this out.” She whispers. 

Sirius only answers her with a wide smile and turns his attention back on Remus. Mary, Lily and her chat while Sirius and Remus whisper things to each other, sit so close that there is barely space for air between them. And there is beauty in that too. 

***

Hufflepuff parties are always about weed and chocolate. That’s the rule, they never disappoint. 

Marlene smells weed the second she passes the Hufflepuff common room’s entry. She looks around to see who is already there but doesn’t see much. 

She follows Mary and Lily to a couch where Barty and Evan are already sat, surrounded by a cloud of smoke. 

“Hello girls.” Evan greets. “Want to start with weed or chocolate?”

“Chocolate” Lily says at the same time Marlene and Mary answer “weed”.

“Mary.” Lily warns. 

“Okay,” Mary says, rolling her eyes, “chocolate.”

Evan turns to Marlene to see if she’s changing her answer too. 

“Oh, no, still weed for me.”

He smiles and provides. Next to him, Barty laughs. Marlene looks around again, checking once more on who is there. On a sofa, she sees Peter and a girl (probably Sara) talking and laughing. 

“She’ll be there soon.” Evan says to her. 

She turns to him and raises an eyebrow, “What?”

“Are you waiting for Dorcas or Pandora?” Barty asks, frowning his eyebrows, “I can’t follow.”

Evan smiles, still looking at Marlene. She’s not doing that today, no, no way. She turns her gaze away from him, only to see Dorcas and Pandora entering the common room. 

Bloody fucking hell. 

Marlene breath catches the moment she sees Dorcas and she doesn’t like the idea. That girl is bloody gorgeous. Marlene cannot coerce herself into moving, she just stares at Dorcas in her beautiful forest green dress. She cannot coerce herself into looking at Pandora right next to Dorcas, her gaze is locked. 

Okay, yeah, she always knew Dorcas is pretty, beautiful even. She already saw her with that kind of outfit and makeup. She’s just prettier today, if that’s even possible. 

Maybe it’s the weed. Yeah, that’s probably the weed. 

“Hiya Dorcas, Dora!” Barty calls next to her. 

Bloody Crouch. 

As the two girls approach, Marlene tries to act normal once more and to take her gaze off Dorcas, which is surprisingly extremely complicate. She just can’t stop staring. 

Finally, she coerces herself into moving and sits beside Evan, laying her gaze on Pandora. 

“Hello there.” She grins the more naturally she can at Pandora once she’s near. 

“Hello.” Pandora answers with a smile. 

Dorcas starts a conversation with Barty and Evan while Marlene smokes in the intention to stop herself from looking at Dorcas. She talks and laughs with Pandora but she feels Dorcas presence. 

“I think I need to go to the toilet.” She says, standing up. Her head is turning just a bit and she feels the urge to laugh. 

“You alright?” Dorcas asks and Marlene just raises an eyebrow at her before she’s gone. 

She walks to the toilet, not walking really straight. She wants to put water on her face but also doesn’t want to ruin her makeup so she resolves in only putting some on her neck. She looks at herself in the mirror and finds her reflection surprisingly funny. Ouh, Marlene is having a lot of fun right now. 

The door behind her opens to Dorcas. 

“Fuck off.” Marlene mumbles, looking at her through the mirror. 

“You’re stoned.” Dorcas says, walking to her. 

“Didn’t even notice.” Marlene laughs, turning to face Dorcas. 

“You’re really stoned.” Dorcas says, stopping in front of her. 

“You’re really gorgeous.” Marlene grins. 

Dorcas seems flustered and looks away. Eventually, she gazes at Marlene again, who is still smiling. 

“You have to stop that.”

“What?” Marlene asks in a breath. 

“Flirting with me.”

“I’m speaking facts.” Marlene says. 

“Stop that.”

“You have to stop pretending there’s nothing going on between us, straight girl.”

“I’m not pretending.” Dorcas says defensively. “There’s nothing going on.”

“Yeah. Right.” Marlene answers, pissed. 

“Right.”

“And you didn’t kiss me last time.” Marlene says. 

Dorcas doesn’t answer and just looks away. 

“Why are you here, Meadowes?” Marlene asks. 

“Just needed to go to the toilet.”

“Right.” Marlene laughs. “Nothing to do with me.”

“You’re so self-centred!” Dorcas says, rolling her eyes.

“And you’re not?”

“I’m out.” Dorcas says, turning heels. 

“Didn’t you need to go to the toilet?” Marlene asks, grinning. 

Dorcas turns back to face her then walks to one of the cabinets. Marlene’s laugh echoes in the bathroom as she goes back to the party. There, she goes straight to the girls and smoke again and eat chocolate and eventually, they end up dancing on ABBA. 

She doesn’t really see Dorcas for the next two hours, or anyone she really knows except Mary and Lily. She knows James and Regulus decided not to come to spend time together before the Christmas break. Sirius and Remus hadn’t made their mind yet the last time she saw them and she knows Peter is there, somewhere, since she saw him earlier that night. 

Eventually, Mary and Lily decide do go to bed, leaving Marlene in the Hufflepuff common room. Not that she minds, she can hang out with anyone. At one point she sees Sirius at the other side of the room and go to him. 

“Oh my God, Sirius, you came!”

“Mary told me you are high.” Sirius says, grinning. “Couldn’t let you do that alone.”

She notices that Sirius is smoking and grins back. Oddly, she wants to tell thousands of things to him. 

“I have to tell you. Earlier, I went to the toilet, and Dorcas Meadowes came bother me!”

“She did?” Sirius asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yes!” Marlene yelps. She stops herself before she tells him about their kiss. “She’s so strange sometimes, it’s like she’s flirting with me but she defends she’s straight! How can someone be so obnoxious?”

“Obnoxious, right.” Sirius says, looking at something. “So you’ll feel absolutely nothing if I told you to look that way.” He says pointing at the thing he was staring at. 

Marlene turns to see a Dorcas standing only a few centimetres from a seventh year Slytherin, clearly flirting. She feels something in her heart. 

Bloody weed. 

When she’s about to turn back to Sirius to tell him that she didn’t feel a thing, the boy grabs Dorcas’ jaw and kisses her on the mouth. Marlene finds herself incapable of moving as Sirius lets out a ‘oh’ behind her, visibly not aware of the possibility of the duo kissing. 

Well, they are kissing, okay, in which way does Marlene cares? She obviously doesn’t. Why would she care about Dorcas Meadowes kissing a seventh year Slytherin boy? Doesn’t she hate Dorcas? Isn’t Dorcas straight? 

She turns to face Sirius and smiles at him, “What?” She says, “I was suppose to feel something?” She laughs. “Give me that.” 

She takes the joint from his hand as Sirius looks at her, something sorry in his eyes. 

“Marlene-”

“What?” She interrupts, smoking. She lets out a laugh. “Come on. Let’s dance. It’s been a while since we haven’t partied together.”

Sirius looks at her for a moment while she continues smoking. Eventually, he takes the joint back and nods with a grin and they walk to the dance floor.