A Walk Down Memory Lane
“I should be the one to go in, I’m the captain of this team. It's my job to take care of everyone, including Tony,” Steve said.
“This isn't a team matter, this only has to do with how our friend is feeling. We have to be careful with how we approach this situation. He obviously thinks that he is a burden on the team, so we need someone who can go in there and act unaffected by it,” Natasha argued. “I'd be best at hiding how I feel.”
“I think that that is the exact opposite of what he needs. He needs someone to go in there and show that they care. And he needs someone he is close to. I'm sorry, but that is more me than either of you. Captain, you insulted him the first time you met him, and Natasha recommended he not even be on the team. I should do it,” Clint said. “Also, I was also hit pretty hard with the battle, I can relate.”
“I'm doing it,” Bruce said sternly.
“Why? What makes you more qualified than the rest of us?” Steve asked angrily.
“I've been in this situation before. He is suffering from PTSD and depression. I can't help him with the PTSD very much, but I am very equipped to help his depression,” Bruce said.
“We all know to watch him and stuff, we can all help with depression,” Steve said.
“That's not all it is Cap,” Natasha said sadly.
“But Bruce is right, right now I think he needs someone who can pick him up while he's down,” said Clint. “Are you sure you can help?”
“I'm sure that I'll try my best,” Bruce replied.
Everyone agreed that Bruce would go in.
+++
Jarvis opened up the door, and Banner slipped inside the workshop. He shut the door behind him.
The first thing Bruce noticed about the room was the smell. It was disgusting. He quickly found the source, which was a puddle of vomit on the floor, with Tony beside it.
“Are you okay?” Bruce asked, quickly heading towards Tony.
Tony just laughed. Bruce knew why.
Stark’s face was shining with sweat. His hair was wild, and he was covered in grease. His arms were covered in bruises and small scratches. His whole body was shaking.
“What happened to your arms?” Bruce asked, fearing the worse.
“I tried to build while drunk last night,” Tony said cheerfully. “I think it came out pretty well.” He pointed to a work table behind him with his thumb.
“Is that… A toaster with wings?” Bruce asked, both amazed and confused.
“Yes. He is a very smart toaster by the way, and his name is Tanner,” Tony said proudly.
“Okay…” Bruce said. Suddenly, he got serious. “Talk to me, Tony. What happened?”
“I freaked out a bit at a press conference, it's no big deal,” Tony said.
“You know that I don't believe that,” Bruce said. “And neither do you.”
“What? Nah, I'm fine. Just a little sick is all,” Tony said nonchalantly.
“Well, let's get you cleaned up,” Bruce said. He helped Tony up, and supported him to the bathroom, even though the billionaire protested the whole way.
When they got to the bathroom, Bruce grabbed a wet cloth and handed it to Tony, who began wiping off his face.
“So, are we going to do the whole ‘you can always talk to me’ thing where I pour my heart out and we have some big touching moment?” Tony asked bitterly. “Because if so, I really am going to need another drink.”
“We won’t unless you want to. Except for the part where I tell you that you can always talk to me,” Bruce said. “Because that is extremely important information.”
“Whatever,” Tony muttered, standing up shakily. “Go away, I’m gonna shower.”
“I’m going to go get you some food. I’ll wait in the workshop when I’m done.” Bruce walked out of the bathroom and left the workshop.
“How did it go?” Clint asked, worried.
“It went fine. He definitely spent the two days drunk, and he probably doesn’t remember much. He hasn’t eaten at all, so I’m going to get him some food,” Bruce said, walking towards the elevator.
“I’ll come,” the others said.
The team crammed into the elevator and rode upstairs. Bruce made a sandwich for himself and Tony and grabbed two water bottles, instructing the others to stay upstairs and do something productive.
“Come on guys, I’ve got this. Don’t spend all day worrying.” Bruce left for the elevator.
When he tried to open the doors, Jarvis spoke. “Elevator use has been cut off for the time being.”
“Dammit Tony,” Bruce muttered. “J, can I still use the stairs?”
“Of course Mr. Banner,” the AI replied.
Bruce sighed and headed down the stairs.
+++
When Bruce got downstairs, he immediately knew something was off when he didn’t hear the sound of the shower running. He set down the sandwiches and walked over to the bathroom door. “Jarvis? Why are the elevators down?”
“Mr. Stark had requested it,” Jarvis replied.
“Why?” Bruce asked carefully. He knocked on the bathroom door.
“I do not know for sure, but I think it may be because he didn’t want anyone to see him right now,” Jarvis said. “I do not understand how he thought this was a good idea.”
“Why is he hiding?” Bruce asked, worried.
“He punched a mirror and it broke,” Jarvis answered disapprovingly.
“Can you assess his injuries?” Bruce asked, knocking on the door again when there was no answer.
“He has scratches all along his left knuckle, which is less of a problem because his previous injuries have healed completely. The glass that fell on the floor cut his feet.” Jarvis paused. “And now he has just sunk to his knees. His legs and palms are now cut.”
“How do I get in?” Bruce asked. Before Jarvis could answer, Tony spoke up.
“No need; my secret’s out, I might as well open the door,” he said.
When the door finally did open, Bruce wanted to slap his friend for being so stupid. His suit was thrown on the floor, forgotten. Tony was standing in the bathroom in only his boxers, looking lost. His face was pink and blotchy, and he had half dried tears on his face. His hands were covered in blood, and there was glass stuck in them. His legs from the knees down were the same. “I-”
“Just stop. Please,” Bruce said sternly.
“I just-”
“Stop.”
Tony shut his mouth and looked down. “I’m just going to clean you up, okay,” Bruce said. “And you’re going to explain to me what happened.”
Tony nodded. Bruce instructed Tony to sit down on the toilet, and Tony complied.
While Bruce cleaned the blood, he calmed down to the point where he was ready to hear the story.
“What happened Tony?”
“I was looking in the mirror, and I got… frustrated, I guess the word is. I was upset that I was so weak. I was overtaken by a sudden rage, and I punched myself in the face. Then I had a minor breakdown, and fell in the glass like an idiot,” Tony said blandly, completely without emotion.
“It’s okay to be weak sometimes,” Bruce said sadly.
“Not for a Stark,” Tony said automatically. “Starks are made of iron.”
“Your suit is iron, not you. You’re a human being, you have feelings,” Bruce replied.
“The suit isn’t made of iron,” Tony answered.
“You know what I meant,” Bruce said.
“Sure. You know, the suit is what makes me a hero,” Tony said dully.
“No, that isn’t true. You are so much more than the suit!”
“No, I’m not!” Tony finally exploded. Standing up, he started to cry. Bruce just stayed knelt on the floor, watching his friend carefully. Tony needed to explode, but it had to be safe.
Tony leaned against the sink and cried for a second before he pulled himself together. He glanced at the mirror. The cracked and broken reflection looking back at him sent him into a fit of laughter at how accurate he thought it was. It was broken. Disgusting.
Bruce walked behind Tony and turned him slowly away from the mirror. He grabbed Tony’s hands and ignored the blood on him. “Please let me help you,” he said.
Tony calmed down, and eventually, his features went from joyous to sad quickly. “Yeah, I’m done.”
“You don’t have to be done. Just calm down and let me pull the glass out of your skin,” Bruce said. He sighed and began to look for tweezers. When he found some, he disinfected them with rubbing alcohol and grabbed a bowl to put the glass in once it was out. He grabbed a cloth and began to clean the cuts. As he worked, he decided he should probably talk to Tony to distract him from the pain he would feel after he started to pull the glass out.
When he finally starts to pull out the first piece, he immediately begins to talk. “So, who taught you that you had to be so strong?”
“My father,” Tony said, a slight grunt the only sign that he was in pain.
“What? Why?” Bruce asked, genuinely confused.
“Because I was always in the media. I had to keep everything behind closed doors, I couldn’t let anyone see me hurt,” Tony replied, hissing as a larger piece of glass was pulled out.
“What kind of hurt? Did your dad-”
Tony cut him off hastily. “No! He didn’t… He never hit me or anything. I was just, you know, kind of neglected I guess.” Tony let his mind drift, ignoring the pain as one of the last pieces was pulled out.
“Tony…” Bruce trailed off. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Will you talk anyway?”
“Can I at least put on pants first?” Tony asked, trying to lighten the mood in his usual manner.
“Yeah,” Bruce said, smiling.
When Tony went to grab clothes from his workshop stash, (He had everything down there because he practically lived in his stuffy workshop.) Bruce began to clean up everything.
When both men were ready, Tony and Bruce sat down on an old couch and faced each other.
“So, what did you mean by neglected?” Bruce asked gently.
“It wasn’t a big deal, there are those who have had it much worse than I did,” Tony muttered.
“Just because it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, doesn’t invalidate your situation,” Bruce said sadly. It hurt him to think that Tony thought his pain didn’t matter.
“I guess. Well, I never really saw my father much, he always just gave me to whatever nanny was willing, which was a lot. He didn’t care about me, so he never actually did background checks. I got kidnapped by a few, and my dad only paid my ransom so the public wouldn’t complain.”
Bruce tried to object, but Tony stopped him. “Don’t try to deny it, he told me when I got home. Then he locked me in a room because he “couldn’t stand to look at the disappointment who takes all of his money.””
Bruce frowned sadly. “That’s not okay,” he said.
“It’s fine.”
“Why did you hide it?” Bruce asked.
“My dad threatened me. I don’t think he’d ever act on it, but I was a kid and I took it seriously.” Tony was carefully controlling his features.
Bruce was less careful and let his face show his sadness. After a quick moment of thought, he asked a question that Tony never thought he would hear from his science bro.
“Can I give you a hug?”
Tony nodded, a little confused.
Bruce shot forward and crushed him in a tight bear hug. Tony smiled into his friend’s shoulder. “Thank you for listening,” Tony whispered sincerely.
“Any time Tony, any time,” Bruce replied sadly.
Tony broke away.
“I’m going to try to get some sleep,” Tony said.
“Do you want me to stay?” Bruce asked.
“Please.”
Tony settled into the couch and grabbed his old blanket to lay over himself. He rest his head on the arm of the couch and allowed his exhaustion to lull him to sleep almost immediately.
He didn’t have any nightmares for the first time in a long time.
Bruce was filled with hope. Maybe his friend was finally getting better.