Chapter 5
"Who?" Lydia was too busy circling around her mind, thinking of ways to win Sharon back. She wasn't even catching half of what Elliot Kaplan had to say during their monotonous lunch.
"Taylor. Krista Taylor."
"Oh." Stopping herself from pushing around the chickpea, artichoke, and avocado salad on her plate, Lydia blinked. She would love for that name to never come out in any conversation again. She wanted that one mistake she made in Ucayali to be entirely wiped out of her life. "What about her?"
"NY phil rejected her application."
"Really?"
"So did Philadelphia, Cleveland, Chicago, and Boston."
"Hmmmm." Faking a new interest in the salad, Lydia forked a slice of avocado into her mouth and chewed slowly. She waited for Elliot to overshare like he usually did, but the balding guy didn't fall for her trap this time. "She can always try tens of others. LA maybe, I heard their principal is looking for new blood."
"After being tossed around by the big five like that? Not a chance."
"Too bad." Lydia leaned back on her chair, looking around. She saw a lot of redheads lately. As if every corner of the world was haunted by that girl. "Being an Accordion's fellow doesn't guarantee you a prime spot, though. Talent speaks loudest."
"We never had a problem placing a fellow before."
"Then the problem clearly lies within her, not the Accordion." Lydia brought the glass of water to her lips, thinking of what best to say. It was important to change the direction of the conversation before things got tangled further but Lydia's curious nature beat her to it. "Why do you care so much?"
"Her father kept mentioning it."
"Her father?"
"Is a prominent figure in one of my biggest business partners."
"I see." That completely explained the aura of luxury around the girl. And the gifts. Lydia shook her head, wanting to get rid of Krista's image from her mind. She had been planning to throw away anything related to the girl but hadn't gotten around to actually doing it. It was about damn time now. She would do it once she get back home. Designer clothes and expensive handbags be damned, she didn't want any more association with the crazy bitch.
"Lydia."
"Huh?" Lydia yanked herself out of the unpleasant reverie.
"I asked if you could do anything to help?"
"Me? Why?"
"Her father said she's trying London next. Could you maybe drop an extra recommendation? Give Simon a nudge."
"Elliot, please." Lydia groaned. Simon Gardner of the London Philharmonic was one of the few men Lydia considered made of brilliance. They were good friends and Elliot definitely wanted her to use the connection to his benefit. "You're getting ridiculous."
"Her father might lend a hand to the fellowship in return."
Scoffing was the only thing Lydia could do. No matter how hard Elliot tried to look and sound like an artist, the man was always a filthy businessman inside. "We agreed not to give anyone in the fellowship a special favor."
"Come on, maestro. It's nothing you never gave before."
There were so many things implied in Elliot's smirk. Things that Lydia hated. Even the tilt of Eliot's eyebrows felt accusing now. Narrowing her gaze at the man, Lydia reached for her handbag. "Thank you for the lunch, Elliot. It has been nice catching up with you."
"Oh, Lydia. Please, I'm so sorry."
"For?" It was her turn to tilt an eyebrow now.
"I didn't mean to offend you. I just think it's a good opportunity for Accordion. A win-win."
"I'm grateful for your support, Elliot. Accordion won't get this big without it. I suppose I'm the one owing you an apology for only caring about nurturing the art side of this partnership, for leaving the messy, business-y, end all in your hands."
"Lydia..."
"Oh, and your Mahler sixth with Boston Symphony tomorrow, I'm afraid I'll miss it. Francesca and I are catching the last flight today." She was already on her feet. Elliot could be a pain in the ass from time to time and Lydia was actually used to accommodating him. Today was not that kind of day though, her mood was already at a tipping point.
"Come on now, Lydia. I have a jet booked for you on Friday. We might even be able to catch up with Boyd Muir himself after my Mahler."
Tempting but no. Not this time. Something told her that whatever was bothering Sharon back home needed to be sorted out soon. "I think I'll pass." She took a step away from the table.
"Really? On Muir?"
"Yeah. Send him my regard." Lydia turned her head to regard Elliot one last time. "And remember, that girl only gets what she deserves. We can't help the hopeless one, Elliot."
"Fucking worm," Lydia mumbled as she exited the restaurant, expecting to have Francesca already in their ride. Her annoyance was blown catastrophically bigger by the sight of only their driver standing by the car, greeting her with half a smile and a reluctant nod.
"Where's my assistant?"
The driver shrugged, taking a swig of his cigarette as he leaned on the side of the car. Lydia was about to call Francesca on her mobile when she spotted them. Her assistant and Krista, standing by a hotdog vendor across the road. They were visibly sharing whispers. Their heads were too close together for Lydia to ignore. Narrowing her stare, Lydia tried to read lips and guessed expression to no avail. Krista had sunglasses on and Francesca had been so well-trained she immediately sensed Lydia's presence from the distance.
"I'm so sorry, maestro." Despite nearly impaling herself on a speeding SUV, Francesca crossed the street at record speed. "So sorry. I just -"
Lydia turned around fast but not fast enough to unsee Krista trying to cross the road too.
"I take it the talk over sushi didn't come to fruition." Hastily entering the car, Lydia's scowl got deeper once she realized their driver was taking his sweet time with the cigarette. "Hey, hurry!"
"Maestro, please." Too late, Krista was already at Francesca's side of the car. Bending down, her gaze came into contact with Lydia's. "We need to talk."
Cornered against the most uncomfortable feeling tucked in the deepest part of her heart, Lydia looked away while impatiently knocking the side of the car to alert the driver that he was about to lose his job.
"Please, I deserve more." Krista continued. "You can't do this to me."
"Me?" Lydia snapped. "You did this to yourself."
"This can't fall solely on me. What happened to us was mutual. Ucayali-"
"Don't!" Lydia lifted a finger in front of Krista's face. One word was enough to bring back that ugly memory, to trigger her outrage. The corner of her eyes caught Elliot prepared to exit the restaurant as the driver finally entered the vehicle. She knew she can't publicly lash out. She knew she need to shake Krista off now. "You came to me. You seduced me. You trashed yourself on me." She hissed through gritted teeth.
"And you let me, maestro." There was suddenly fire in Krista's eyes. "You. Let. Me."
"God, you deserve whatever misery you are having right now." Lydia shook her head. Taking a deep breath, she served Krista a stare cold enough Francesca gulped and inched away on her seat. "Come anywhere near me again and I'll call the cop on you. I will destroy you. I will fucking destroy you!"
"Maestro..." Krista blinked, probably realizing that she wasn't supposed to be this brazen.
"You know I will." It was wrong, but Lydia took pleasure in seeing the fire in Krista's eyes died down. Lydia gave Krista one last disdainful look before panning her stare to the rearview mirror where the driver eyed them curiously. "And you, drive now or I swear I'll kick you out."
"I am so sorry, maestro." A few short miles away from the restaurant, Francesca finally had the courage to huff out a breath. "She begged me to arrange a dinner. I tried to explain how impossible it is. I swear."
"That was before or after she asked if you want mustard on your hotdog?" Curt was the only way now. Francesca should have known better.
Francesca gaped, shaking her head before looking through the window. "I thought a few minute talk won't hurt, maestro. She needs help."
"Oh, she definitely does. What a mental. I'm reporting her to the police if she tries that shit again." Tapping the driver's seat, Lydia ordered the man to go as fast as possible. "There's a law against what she has been doing to me."
"Please. There must be a way for you two to sort this out."
"Did you even hear that bitch? Her audacity. She wanted to put the blame on me."
"Krista is like that sometimes. She's young, Maestro. We are young. Forgive us."
"Too late."
"She said she's losing chances with the big five. She's in despair."
"And how's that my fault?"
"You..." Gaping again, Francesca seemed to finally run out of words. The car entered a tunnel. There was no more conversation between them until Lydia's phone vibrated in the pocket of her checkered suit. Lydia immediately fished the device out, worrying that it was Sharon. It wasn't. Fate had it for Simon to drop her an e-mail asking if she would recommend Krista. Lydia didn't wait for a beat, immediately typing an unsavory reply.
"Maestro, please. Give Krista a chance. She has too much potential to fall over this."
"This?" Neck nearly snapped from turning so fast, Lydia served her assistant a sharp stare. "Making crazy demands, sending me absurd gifts, trespassing into my hotel room, stalking me, all I might forget and forgive. Threatening to come after Sharon? Threatening to ruin my family? I could kill her for it." Lydia curled her fingers into a fist, completely aware that Francesca's eyes had gone even rounder in what she could sense as fear. "In fact, watch me kill her if she ever attempts crazy stuff on my wife and my kids. Now, could you stop defending her or should I find a different ride?"
Cowering in her seat, Francesca blinked a few times before looking away. "I'm sorry, Maestro."
"I'm sorry." Fist relaxed, Lydia apologized after a moment. Francesca wasn't at fault. At least not that much. "It's just... I can't have that unstable girl bothering my family. Sharon is in a very delicate condition right now. I can't risk it. We can't lose this baby. Sharon won't be able to take it if we do."
"I'm sorry." Francesca gulped. "I'm so sorry."
"Let's just go home and forget about this, okay? Let's focus on important stuff only."
Still looking intimidated, Francesca nodded.
"Good girl." Reaching out to squeeze Francesca's hand, Lydia tried to lighten the mood with a smile. "I know you're just trying to help but please don't take any more of Krista's calls. Just cut her out. You don't want people like her dragging your career into the mud, do you?"
"No, maestro."
"And don't let Sharon hear any of this. Not even a word."
Coming home to an eerily empty and gloomy apartment, Lydia did the one thing she had never done before; flipping every light switch on. Lights immediately poured all over the apartment, mostly from Sharon's collection of exclusively designed lamps. Bathed by the glow of her loneliness and frustration, Lydia threw her bags on the floor. She needed to figure out how to handle Krista. She couldn't imagine what would happen if the maniac actually come down here and talk to Sharon.
You. Let. Me. Krista's voice rang in her ears.
Going straight to their bedroom without taking off her coat or varsity cap, Lydia thought of wiping clean the trace first. In one pull, she took the sheet off their bed and spread it on the bedroom floor. There was a luxury hand cream she got for her birthday. One that smelled a lot like the girl and had been sitting in the drawer of the nightstand. She chucked it first. Then there were bags and clothes in the closet, probably worth hundreds of thousand dollars combined. She threw them all into a pile. Last, she dragged the sheet by its corners to her office, rummaging through every shelf and every drawer for anything related to the girl. There were pictures, articles, scores, notes, tokens, and other random stuff. A metronome was last to get thrown onto the pile before she heaved the whole stuff to the front door.
"Damian!" She was half barked into the apartment security intercom.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Help me pick some garbage up and burn them, will you?"
"Right now, ma'am?"
It was two fifteen in the a.m but Lydia knew money can turn time around. "Next week will be great, Damian."
"Sorry, ma'am. Coming up now."
"I'll leave them by the maintenance door with one hundred euros."
"One hundred and fifty, ma'am."
"Fine. Just make sure to turn them all into ashes."
Done getting rid of the physical connection, Lydia shredded herself off the clothes she was wearing and stepped into the shower. Hot water cascaded, drowning her grunt of frustration yet did nothing to her stirred mind.
You. Let. Me. She heard those words again.
She should have seen this coming. She should have stopped when she could. Those girls were trouble. Krista was trouble. She had no idea why she always craved more attention. She didn't know where this thirst and hunger come from. That night in Ucayali should have stopped before her fingers made contact with Krista's skin. Why did she lose control? How could she be so stupid?
The rising hot steam somehow brought back Sharon's scent and Lydia cursed under her breath. Sharon should have been enough. Sharon was enough. Why did she break her promise to the love of her life? Grabbing the tube of Sharon's soap instead of her own, Lydia scrubbed herself over and over again. Lather, rinse, and repeat until her skin got red and raw. Every time she closed her eyes, the sweet image of Sharon's face was tainted with Krista's smirk so she kept them open despite the stinging steam. She wanted to forget. She needed to erase it all.
You. Let. Me.
One hour later, eyes red and sore, Lydia lay on the floor instead of their bed. Without fully realizing it, tears started brimming in her eyes. She hadn't cried in ages. In fact, she could remember exactly the last time she had let frustration break her emotional dam. It had been on her eleventh birthday. When her classmates, Maya and Angela, had had her beaten and then locked in the gym bathroom. Exactly one hour before she was supposed to perform in a state competition.
You. Let. Me. Lydia had her fucking classmates to blame for those tears. This time, the fault was all hers. This time, her family was at stake too.
Lydia's hair was all wet with tears when her phone dinged from the top of the bedside table. Sitting up, Lydia checked the voice note coming from Sharon's number.
"Lydia." It was Petra. Distress was evident in her whisper. "Sharon's not waking up. I'm scared. Come get us."
Lydia cut more than ten minutes of drive time from Berlin to Bernau, thanks to the speed of her Porsche, the quiet of the street in the wee a.m, and the kind of anxiety she reserved only for Sharon. Petra's voice rang in her ears as she drove, scaring her. Once reaching Heike's suburban dwelling, Lydia didn't even stop to think if it was actually appropriate to ring a bell. When the door didn't open immediately, she banged her fist against the hardwood without care.
"Lydia?" It was Dashiell, Heike's longtime partner who peeked behind the half-bolted door. His pajama top only halfway buttoned, the man rubbed his eyes before putting his glasses back on. "What's going on?"
"Who is it?" Of course, Heike came peeking from behind the man a moment later. Her sleepy expression turned hostile upon seeing who the uninvited guess was. "It's fucking 4 a.m, Tár. Normal people sleep at this hour."
"Petra asked me to come. Something is wrong with Sharon."
"What?" Dash opened the door wide. "She seemed fine before bed. Come on in, we'll check."
"No." Heike came forward, preventing Lydia from stepping further. "She just made excuse to ruin Sharon's peace."
"I'm definitely not." Lydia tried to push forward but failed. Despite sharing almost the same height, Heike was clearly built better with those wide shoulders and stronger stance. "Let me see my family, Heike."
"They are sleeping, goddamn it. Can you stop being so selfish? At least wait until morning."
"No. Petra's scared. She needs me."
"Bullshit."
"She sent me a voice note!"
"Heike, darling." When Heike was about to open her mouth again Dashiell spoke up while looking around. "Let's talk inside. We're waking the neighbors up."
"I'm not letting this maniac in. She might be drunk for God's sake."
"I'm not drunk and I'm not lying." Lydia held up her phone and played the voice note. Petra's trembling voice rang in the air and it was enough to tone down Heike's strained expression.
"Fine." The woman stepped aside.
"Thank you." Lydia was about to go straight upstairs but Dashiell stopped her.
"Wait here." Ever wise, the man gestured at the sitting room and nodded toward Heike. "Let Heike check first. Maybe Petra was only scared of the dark and has fallen back into sleep."
"Alright." Choosing to stand, Lydia watched Heike go upstairs. When a moment later the woman came out of the guest room with Petra in her hands, Lydia's heart leaped. She dashed to the foot of the staircase, impatiently taking the trembling child into her embrace. "Ssssh, baby. It's okay. It's okay."
"I'm scared." The girl started between sobs. Her tiny hands wrapped around Lydia's neck like a cord. Her tears wet the front of Lydia's jacket as she buried her head deep. "Sharon won't wake up to hold my foot."
"Oh, child." Heike gave Petra a hesitant rub on the shoulder. "Your mommy didn't mean it. She was too tired so she took more meds. They made her so sleepy she couldn't hear you."
"I don't like the room, Lydia." The sobs came with hiccups now. Round eyes looked up at Lydia all sleepy and sad. "Take me home."
"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry." Carrying the girl to the nearest couch, Lydia kissed the top of Petra's head and hugged her tighter. "I'm here now. I'll make it all better." She looked up at the two hosts. "Can we get some water for her hiccup, please?"
Dashiell was the one who leave to fetch a glass of water. Heike, hands folded across her chest, watched with hawk eyes as Lydia gently rocked Petra into calmness. "Stay." The woman said the word rather dejectedly after Petra had her drink and slowly fell back into sleep in Lydia's arms.
"Thank you."
"I'm doing it for the kid."
"I know."
"There's a sofa bed in the office." Heike pointed at a door by the kitchen. "You can sleep with Petra there." When Lydia visibly gazed at the guest room upstairs, Heike shook her head. "Not a chance, asshole. You'll see her when she wants to see you."
"Is Sharon okay?" Heike's words about Sharon taking more meds felt like a splitting axe to Lydia's heart. "Is there any trouble with the baby? Why is she taking more meds?"
"Just extra vitamins and something to help her sleep." Heike frowned. "If you care so much about my sister and the baby she's carrying maybe start to do what's best for them, yeah? Stop being such a prick."
"I don't-"
"Tsk. Save it." Heike turned around, letting Dashiell lead her to the stairs but turned around on the first flight. "I can easily take away the three of them from you, you know? Don't give me any more reason to do it."