Chapter 17
Once a week, Bucky would leave their shared apartment to travel down to the lower levels of the tower to attend his therapy sessions. He never went into detail or told Steve what he had talked about but he always looked haunted when he returned.
Steve wouldn't ask, they both seemed to respect that this was something Bucky had to do himself.
But he would be there when the door finally did open, letting himself get scooped off the floor and pulled into a crushing hug. Sometimes, Bucky would even press kisses against his hair and those were the days that Steve instinctively knew were the worst.
Tony had made the mistake of walking in on one of Bucky's bad days.
"Hey, I have those results for-", Steve was the first to notice that he had entered the apartment. Tony was in a greasy shirt and sweatpants, tilting his head at them. "What are you-"
Steve was nestled in Bucky's lap, combing his fingers through his hair and had been humming to him when Tony arrived. Today was one of the nonverbal days.
When the human came back from therapy, he had practically sprinted into Steve's outstretched arms- stooping down to bury his face in Steve's neck with a sob, only answering him in grunts and nods.
They had sat right there in the entrance way, content with holding each other until Bucky felt better.
And then Tony showed up.
"Not right now-", Steve began quietly, peeking out from over Bucky's shoulder.
Tony shrugged, "Yeah but I need you to come down to the lab-"
"GET OUT!" Bucky roared as his head snapped around to glare at Tony, possessively gripping Steve closer. "He isn't going anywhere so just fucking leave!"
Steve knew this was just Bucky's exhaustion talking, it took him a long time to finally calm down after therapy and Tony popping in unannounced (like always) didn't help any.
"Tony, I said not right now," he chastised, rubbing a hand down Bucky's back.
The alien nodded grimly, a little put out, and walked back to the elevators- leaving Steve to calm Bucky down himself.
"Hey," he whispered, petting Bucky's hair away from his face. "We're okay, right? He left. You're fine."
Bucky nodded, brows pinched together, and frowned. His metal arm loosened around Steve's waist, giving him space to move away but Steve wasn't having any of that today.
Gently, he pulled the arm back around him and made himself comfortable again.
Once Bucky had felt more like himself again (and after Steve forced him to eat something), they went to go visit Tony's lab.
"I'm not apologizing," Bucky huffed when Steve asked. "I get that this is his tower but it's common sense to knock. I could've been naked."
Steve shook his head in amusement and grinned, "He'd probably prefer that."
"Yeah right," Bucky laughed as they stepped into the sterile laboratory. "More like you'd prefer that."
He quickly looked away from Bucky, spluttering nonsense while he struggled to string a coherent sentence together. Thankfully, Tony chose that moment to pop out from behind a table.
He wiped at the grease on his face, "Finished with your hardcore cuddle fest so soon?"
"Yup," Bucky answered curtly, looking at Tony's rumpled appearance. "What the hell have you been up to?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" He shot back, gesturing for them to follow him to a different part of the lab. "Jarvis finished up examining your genetic material and I was going to ask Steve to confirm a few things but the more the merrier."
Steve didn't like coming into Tony's labs, not because it was triggering or anything- it was just so boring.
"Ask away," he sighed, dropping into one of the many stools scattered around.
"When you were in your first form, you were super strong and," Tony pulled a metal contraption out of Bucky's hand. "Careful with that, it has a habit of spontaneously combusting-"
Steve's eyes widened, "It what?"
"Nevermind that," he muttered, flapping his hands dismissively. "As I was saying before your cyborg decided to touch my stuff, I confirmed that Bucko does, in fact, have partial alien DNA."
Bucky stood behind Steve now, resting his hands on the alien's bony shoulders as Tony spoke.
"The radiation he was exposed to should have killed him BUT the serum that altered his DNA gives him faster healing abilities so," Tony spun around on his chair to bring up a large blue screen with what looked like an image of Bucky on it.
"If I were to…," he began slowly, typing something onto the screen. Steve jerked away in shock as the image of Bucky was shot multiple times. "Do that, his body would heal at an incredibly fast rate."
Bucky rubbed Steve's shoulders soothingly and he dropped his head back to give the human a weary, but grateful, smile.
"Why would Hydra do that to me?" He asked Tony quietly.
"Question of the day," the alien said brightly, shooting a glance at them. "MIB has been tracking Hydra down for decades and, thanks to me, they've been able to retrieve some information from the pod Buckaroo was kept in."
Steve groaned, "Okay but why did they do this?"
"He was the test subject for a superhuman soldier," he answered slowly, pulling more information up on the screen. "Physically, he's completely fine. More than fine, he's great."
"Y'hear that, Stevie?" Bucky asked, his lips brushing against Steve's ear softly. "I'm fine."
Steve bit his lip, eyes slipping shut as he willed his body to NOT pop a boner because of Bucky's warm breath near his ear. Not here in Tony Stark's lab. Nope.
Instead, he shifted uncomfortably and focused on the floor as Tony shut the holographic screens off.
"This lab is a sex free zone," Tony grumbled, eyes now glued to his phone.
Blushing, Steve rubbed the back of his neck, "You should put that on a sign somewhere," he joked.
Surprisingly, Tony pointed behind him at a picture of his fiance, "Pepper's rules. I tried to once and she made me sleep on the floor for a week."
It didn't surprise Steve, if anyone could make Tony squirm it was Pepper. She knew it and she used it when he stepped out of line which happened more often than not.
Steve was relieved to know that Bucky would be okay though. He was proud that he had gotten the scans done and just so, so thankful that Hydra hadn't taken Bucky's future too.
The stars weren't as easy to see in New York, the smog and city lights dimmed them and, not for the first time, Steve found himself missing his cabin.
Tonight, they were sprawled out on the floor near the full length windows in their apartment to look up at the night sky. Bucky's arms were folded under his head and Steve had wiggled his way next to him, using the soldier's bicep as a pillow.
"The brightest stars aren't stars at all, they're almost always satellites," Steve pouted, pointing at another blinking light in disdain.
"You know that even when stars die we'll see their light," Bucky told him, tangling their legs together. "Because it takes so long for it to travel through space. Dead stars shine the brightest."
Steve frowned, well that just wasn't cheery at all. Interesting but not happy and he's noticed that Bucky's been in a mood since they left the lab.
"Hey," he whispered, turning to look at Bucky's profile. "You know what else? We're all made of stardust."
Bucky snorted, booping Steve's nose, "Nuh uh."
"Yeah, it's physics," he insisted, eyes falling onto Bucky's smiling lips. "Matter can't be created or destroyed. We're made of like, 90 percent of the same stuff-"
"Oh really?" He grinned widely, tilting his head to stare back at Steve with his steely grey eyes.
Nodding, Steve leaned closer, "Yes, really."
Bucky's hair was pulled back but strands still escaped from his bun, falling into his face so elegantly that Steve would think it was on purpose if he didn't know any better.
But no, Bucky was just that effortlessly attractive and it stole the breath out of Steve.
"I was talking about you today," he confessed while readjusting the quilt across their legs. "With m-my therapist, she asked about you."
Steve raised a brow in question, "She knows about me?"
"No, not exactly," Bucky muttered, face flushing pink. "She, um, asked what was most important in my life and I didn't even think- the words just popped out and I said… I said, this little blue eyed spitfire named Steve."
"You-"
"I know, I know- I shouldn't have brought you up but my brain wasn't thinking and then she kept asking about you and I realized," he cleared his throat, stubbornly looking elsewhere. "That I haven't been entirely honest with how I've felt."
Bucky was talking quickly now, rushing as if the words were dying to escape.
"And I came home and I just HAD to tell you but then fucking Stark-" Bucky cut himself off, glancing down at Steve nervously. "Listen, Stevie… I don't care if you're an alien or not, it doesn't change the fact that you're everything to me. You could be a goddamn mermaid and I'd still feel the same."
Steve's chest was growing tight as Bucky spoke, heart swelling elatedly- he's done everything to keep Bucky beside him and here he was, telling him there's no place he'd rather be.
Each word warmed him, bringing tears to his eyes.
"I feel the same, Buck. You have-"
"No, I don't mean this like friends or family might," he interrupted Steve, bringing his hand down to trace the fading bruise on Steve's jaw. "I think- well, I know that I'm in love with you, Stevie."
At first, Steve couldn't find words.
"Not that you have to say it back," he said, face crumbling. "I thought… I could've read this wrong, I just-"
"Buck," he cut off, rolling onto his side to see Bucky's face better.
"Yeah?"
"I love you too," he whispered fiercely, hoping that this wasn't another dream of his. "Gods, I love you so damn much. I can't believe you actually feel the-"
If you were to ask him, he isn't sure who started the kiss first but between one blink and the next, their lips were brushing against each other slowly.
It lasted less than a second or two but for Steve, it was long enough to taste the sweet promise of more.
Bucky pulled away first, chuckling when Steve whined and tried to steal another kiss. And could you really blame him?
"Babydoll, I'd like to properly ask you out before anything else," and that sounded just fine to Steve who had busied himself with pressing butterfly kisses across Bucky's jawline. "Steve? Steve!"
Sighing, Steve stopped to look up at him, "If it were up to me, I'd marry you this very second, Buck. I'm serious about us and right now all I want to do is get my second kiss, okay?"
"Wait," Bucky blinked up at him. "That was your first kiss?"
"You're the first person I've ever wanted to kiss before," Steve shrugged and ignored his embarrassed blush. He wasn't experienced but he was more than willing to learn.
Bucky gasped as Steve rolled over further, managing to get his tiny little frame on Bucky's chest with ease.
"Stevie-," he warned lowly.
"I will be more than honored to date you, Bucky Barnes," he whispered coyly, leaning down to just barely bring their lips together. "Now, are you gonna kiss me or not?"
Growling, Bucky surged up to claim Steve's lips again. And again. His metal hand snaked around Steve's waist to keep them pressed together as he nipped and bit at Steves lower lip.
The kisses were wonderful, spine-meltingly so, and Bucky had his flesh hand threaded in Steve's hair- keeping his head in place as he slowly forced his mouth open, licking into Steve's mouth without warning.
Bucky swallowed his moans and gasps, slowly fucking Steve's mouth with his tongue and Steve loved it.
He kissed him so thoroughly that Steve was actually drooling and (even though it should've been gross) it only spurred Bucky on more.
Eventually, he gently pushed Steve away, letting him have a chance to breathe as he ducked down to lick the line of saliva from Steve's neck right back into his mouth.
And fuck- Steve was instantly hard.
"You're disgusting," he gasped out with a dazed grin, fingers sneaking under the waistband of Bucky's sweats. "Take off your damn pants."
Bucky tossed his head back laughing, "Whatever you want, doll."