Abandoned

“I never ever say this, but will you please-” 

Loki couldn't finish because he heard a loud bang behind him.

He whirled around, scowling at whatever had interrupted his pleading.

It was Tony. Of course.

“Did you just...say...please?” Stark asked, grabbing his chest as if in shock.

But he didn't allow Loki to answer. “What on earth are you begging that cat for?”

Loki's scowl grew deeper at Tony's mockery. 

“I was merely trying to get her to eat this damn apple, but she refuses,” he growled, directing his last few words at Fennie who was completely oblivious to his frustration. 

When Tony finally stopped laughing, he explained to a very unimpressed Loki that cats don't typically eat apples. 

“Um, did you think she would just bite it like we do?”

Loki was silent for a moment, and Tony assumed he was trying to take control of his temper. Bruce had spent many, many hours with Loki working on impulse control and it seemed like the work had paid off. Unless someone said something bad about one of his children. But Tony figured any father who wasn't fighting mad over that was no father at all. 

“So, metal man, how would you suggest I feed this apple to her?” Loki finally replied, his irritation a barely concealed hum around him. Loki's moods were like that. They surrounded him like an electric fence, and the only person who could flip the switch was Bucky. 

Tony ignored it. “We could turn it into something tasty. Something that she likes.”

Loki had spent hours pouring over many books he'd managed to procure from Asgard’s library in hopes that he could successfully use the enchanted apple to lengthen Fennie’s life. He'd found very little information that he considered to be useful though. The only real information he found came from a collection of Norse myths, but he wouldn't consider the stories to be scientific evidence or positive. 

Idunn's Apple

Beware the temptation of immortality 

This fruit cannot prevent illness you see 

Old age will prevail 

Your body will grow frail 

But the oblivion of death will not bring relief 

-Anonymous 

Loki knew this particular passage hadn't been penned by an Asgardian, but he did wonder if the author had written the warning from personal experience. Unfortunately, the author's name had not been given. 

The idea of Fennie becoming immortal but still growing old and frail, or even worse, becoming ill, gave Loki pause. Was he being selfish? Probably. 

There wasn't much he couldn't heal. Except old age. That, he couldn't fix. 

Loki had already seen plenty of photos and videos of cats in their elder years. The thought of ever seeing Fennie unable to fully enjoy life made him feel sick. He wondered how people survived watching their lovers slowly deteriorate. 

He suddenly wondered how much more time James had left, then quickly dismissed the thought before it had time to completely derail him. 

“What would you suggest we do to make it more palatable for her, Stark?” 

Loki asked, a bit more friendly than before. His nerves were frayed, but he knew that wasn’t Tony’s fault. There were just too many variables in this for his liking, and he was beginning to feel like it was far too risky. 

Tony leaned against the counter and scratched Fennie’s ears, smiling at her when she fell over dramatically, purring loudly. 

“She’s definitely your cat. Drama queen.” 

Ignoring Loki’s snort of irritation, Tony snapped his fingers and strolled to the cabinets. “There’s something in here we can mix it with...I’m sure of it. Can we do that? Or would that, you know, anger the apple gods?” 

“Stark!” Loki yelled through gritted teeth. He knew Tony was just trying to piss him off, but couldn’t help himself. 

Tony slowly poked his head out from behind the cabinet door and peered at the angry demigod. 

“You okay?”

All of his teasing tone was gone and Loki suddenly felt ashamed of how quickly he’d snapped. He sighed, setting himself on the nearest stool. 

“I don’t know, okay? I have no idea if she can even tolerate the apple, let alone if we should be mixing it with mortal foods. It’s not as if I was ever trusted with Asgard’s secrets. They don’t give pertinent knowledge about the longevity of their species to the enemy, even if the enemy doesn’t know he’s the enemy.” 

Tony leaned against the counter and frowned. He understood Loki’s anxiety better than most. He’d attempted to protect the people he loved to their detriment on more than one occasion. 

“Okay, so what is the worst that could happen? Lay it on me,” Tony said softly, hoping Loki wouldn’t fly into a rage. 

Loki looked at Fennie with deep concern, his eyebrows drawn together. 

“She could live forever...but still become very ill or grow old, never able to find relief in death. And I would have to watch her suffer for my selfishness.”

Neither man spoke for a few moments. Both were lost in their own thoughts. Loki was drowning in images he’d found while searching for information on feline diseases. Cats with untreatable tumors. Cats with feline leukemia. Cats who were so old and frail, they could not even feed themselves. Meanwhile, Tony was focused on Loki’s last statement. I would have to watch her suffer for my selfishness. Tony wondered how many people had suffered for his selfishness. How many people had he tried and failed to protect? How many of his loved ones actually resented him for the things he’d done to keep them safe? 

“So, are you saying that you never ate one of these? They never gave you one?” Tony asked. 

Loki laughed. 

“Oh, I ate plenty of them, but not because the Asgardians gave them to me. I had to kidnap Idunn in order to get them. Otherwise, I’d be long dead.” 

Tony couldn’t help his snort of laughter. 

“You kidnapped Idunn? What did you do with her?” 

“Oh, I stole some apples and I took her to the dwarves. They were very interested in her for some reason. But it wasn’t long before Odin commissioned me to rescue her. I was the only person in Asgard who was stealthy enough to get past their defenses and retrieve her. She was not happy to see me, but I was rewarded for her safe return,” he smirked. 

Tony thought that sounded like something Romanoff might do, but he didn’t say it aloud for fear that Loki might strangle him to death. Instead, he just shook his head and laughed. He really couldn’t blame Loki for doing what he did, especially since Loki was supposed to be one of Asgard’s own. 

“Fennie only has to eat a tiny bite of this, right?” Tony asked, seemingly out of nowhere. 

Loki nodded, still very unsure about giving it to her at all. 

“And what about your children? They ate it, didn’t they? And they’re…” Tony didn’t finish. 

“What? Animals? No, Stark. They are not the same. My children are different, yes, but they are not animals. They were born to immortal parents. The apples wouldn’t have the same effect on them.”

Tony closed his eyes and shook his head. “I wasn’t implying that they were animals, Loki. I was saying that they were not exactly like you. But they turned out just fine. And you’re not even Asgardian, so we know that the apples aren’t only for Asgardians. I’m just thinking scientifically.” 

“I think you need a test subject.” 

Both Loki and Tony turned when they heard Bucky’s voice. His hair was disheveled as if he’d just woken up, and he was standing in the doorway in his pajamas. 

“I have already been here too long, so if I eat it and I die right now, I’ll be happy. And if I don’t, that’s fine too.” 

Loki frowned. 

“No. Absolutely not. Besides, I’m not concerned about it killing her right away. I’m worried that she will be stuck in an old broken body for the rest of eternity. That’s a hell I wouldn’t damn anyone to. Especially not you, James.” 

“Well I’m not letting you give it to her without testing it on someone!” Bucky said, his blood boiling. 

Loki took a few steps toward his friend, scowling deeply and trying to remind himself of how much this man had been willing to do to save his children. 

“Forget it, Barnes. You have suffered enough. I’m not worth this.” 

“Oh I think we all agree that you are,” Tony replied. 

Loki turned, and was shocked into silence when he realized that there was a bite missing from the apple. 

“I’m not dead yet…” Tony said, obnoxiously smacking his lips as he chewed. 

Loki looked back at Bucky and was even more irritated to find the soldier smiling. They did this on purpose. 

“You--” He tried to say something angry or indignant, but no words would come to him. 

“I think we should give Fennie some pureed chicken with just a bite of this mixed in. She’ll never taste it,” Tony remarked. 

Loki slowly approached Tony and sighed. 

“You do know that you’ve just damned yourself, yes?” He whispered sadly. He knew virtual immortality must sound so good to beings who had such fleeting existences, but Loki could think of many instances that he would have given everything for the sweet oblivion of death. 

“Yeah, I know, but the odds of me not getting myself killed doing something stupid are very slim, so I’m pretty sure I don’t have to worry about that. I don’t have your strength or healing capacity, remember?” 

Loki chuckled and nodded. It was true that Idunn’s apples couldn’t save one from death by the sword, so Tony was probably right. 

“Okay, let’s make the chicken. If she grows old and frail or develops some terrible disease, I will put her down myself,” Loki whispered, committing himself to caring for his beloved cat for as long as they both lived.