Abandoned

"Exactly how long have you known about this, Thor?" Tony whispered. 

Tony began looking over his shoulder to make sure Loki wasn't sneaking up behind him. He certainly didn't want to be overheard. Tony couldn't believe Thor had kept such important information from Loki, especially knowing how sensitive Loki was about his missing children. 

Thor shrugged. "Father told me after I returned from Midgard the first time- when I was banished here. You remember, when Loki sent the Destroyer-"

"Yeah, I remember. But that was five years ago. Couldn't you have told your brother his child was safe? I mean, I know we weren't exactly happy with him, but he deserved to know," Tony replied. 

He was becoming more irritated with Thor by the second, and he knew he should just stop talking. It was done now, and they would all have to face the consequences. Loki was going to be beyond pissed off, and Stark couldn't blame him at all. 

"Why are you looking for Jörmungandr? Has he done something I should know about? Father should be the one to handle that," Thor said. 

Tony scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration. At this rate, he wouldn't have any eyebrows left. 

"I'm searching for him because I wanted to help Loki out. He mentioned that he didn't know where his children were, and that is something no father should ever have to go through. And now I find out that you knew where they were!"

Thor looked like he had been slapped, but Tony was beyond caring. He didn't know if Thor was just so callous and self-centered that he never even thought of Loki, or if he was keeping the information from his brother to use as leverage. Judging by the expression on his face, Tony would bet on the former. 

"Oh, I only know where Jor is. And Sleipnir. But Loki knows where he is. I have no idea where Fenrir is. But he is the only one. We all know where Odin sent Hel, and Narfi and Váli...well-" Thor trailed off. 

Tony's mouth hung open for a moment while he mentally counted the children Thor had just listed. 

"Wait. Loki has six children? Are they all...like Jörmungandr?"

He didn't want to say strange because it just didn't feel right.

"Yes, well, he had six children. Narfi and Váli are dead. And they looked just like Loki; black hair, green eyes, pale skin."

Thor went on to explain that Odin had charged Narfi and Váli with treason for making a few childish political statements. They might have been okay if they hadn't had their father's charisma. Evidently, people listened to Narfi and Váli, and Odin felt very threatened by them, so he had them executed. Tony was so horrified by what Thor told him that he couldn't listen to the entire story. He retired to his room for a drink to think things through. 

Thor mentioned that Loki had 'shamed' several of the members of the court by drunkenly airing their secrets at a public function. Apparently, this act had him losing favor with Odin- favor he'd never had in the first place. He was supposed to be Odin's son, but by then, Loki knew the truth. He was hurt, confused, and very angry, so he chose to lash out at one of Odin's soirees.

Tony had the worst feeling that was why Narfi and Váli lost their lives. He already knew Odin could be cruel and unyielding. Though Thor was in line to be king of Asgard, he did not understand the intricacies of politics, nor the temperaments of those in power.  

Tony's head was in his hands when Steve knocked on his bedroom door. 

Bucky had finally worked up the courage to knock on Loki's door. He didn't want to barge in this time, just in case he really pissed Loki off. 

"Loki? Can I come in?"

He expected the usual 'Fuck off,' but what he received was much more concerning. 

"Whatever. Just leave the light off."

Bucky walked as gently as he could; trying not to make any noise. Do gods get headaches? He didn't know what was wrong with Loki, but he hadn't expected this. 

"Dude, what's going on? Are you sick?" 

All Bucky could see was a large lump under the blankets on Loki's bed, and he assumed Loki was under there- most likely with Fennie. 

"Gods don't get sick, Bucky." 

His voice was weak and soft, and Bucky wondered if he was lying.

"Come on, man. You're starting to worry me. This thing with Tony- it's not that bad. I even heard him say he didn't blame you for the way you reacted. He's not mad." 

Suddenly, the blankets were flung back, and Loki sat up looking angrier than ever. Bucky took two steps backward without even realizing what he was doing. 

"I know he's not mad! I'm mad! I'm mad at myself. For allowing Odin to take my children from me! For pissing him off and getting two of them executed because of my stupidity! It's all my fault!"

Loki took a deep shuddering breath before continuing. 

"It's all my fault that Fenrir is somewhere in another realm; tied up with chains that he cannot free himself from. It's all my fault that Jörmungandr was flung to the far reaches of the Nine realms; never to be seen again! And it is all my fault that my dear sweet daughter is now the ruler of Hel! I was never a father. I was nothing but a bad omen for them. Being born to me was the worst thing that could have ever happened to them."

Bucky stood frozen in his place as Loki's angry screams quickly dissolved into tortured sobs. Loki curled in on himself, wrapping his arms tightly around his knees and covering his face. Bucky could see that Loki was ashamed to be seen in such a vulnerable state, but there was no reason to be. If there was anyone in the tower who understood this kind of breakdown, it was Bucky. 

He slowly made his way toward Loki; desperately trying not to draw attention to himself. Loki needed comfort, whether he wanted to believe that or not, and Bucky intended to try to provide it. 

Loki was grateful for Bucky's stoic presence, even if he was ashamed of himself. He was also grateful that the soldier wasn't easily startled. In his anger, he had caused several things to fly off the shelves, crashing to the floor, but Bucky hadn't even flinched. Now he was so exhausted he could hardly move, so he didn't say a word when Bucky sat down next to him. He didn't even grumble when the soldier wrapped an arm around his shoulders. 

Fennie was purring, and Bucky stroked her fur but didn't say a word. It seemed he knew that nothing he said would help. Maybe Loki had more in common with Bucky than he'd originally thought. 

"What are we going to do?" Steve asked softly as he entered Tony's room. 

He'd found Tony sitting at his desk drinking Scotch straight from the bottle. Thor's admission had been overwhelming, and both men needed time to digest the information before speaking of it. 

If he were honest, Steve would say that he didn't really want to deal with any of this. It was difficult enough working through the maze of emotions Bucky wove for him. Now he had to face the fact that Loki, the guy he thought was just another asshole villain, was actually a very complicated fellow. A man in an extraordinary amount of pain. He'd been lied to his entire life, then punished for being angry about it. Odin had actually executed his sons to punish him. Steve couldn't even fathom that level of cruelty. It hurt his heart and his head to try, so he simply stood there waiting to see what their next move would be. 

"We're going to take a trip to the Scottish Highlands," Tony replied. "That's what we're going to do."