Abandoned

Three hours. Loki had exactly three hours of free time before someone would come looking for him. That's what Stark had told him, anyway. 

Ten minutes ago, Loki stood in Fury's office rolling his eyes as Stark droned on and on about what he was not allowed to do while he was out on the town alone. It seemed the only thing he was allowed to do was walk. And even that might get him into trouble if he walked in the wrong direction. Still, no matter how stupid Stark's threats sounded to him, he was very much looking forward to his time outside the tower. It had been almost five years since Loki had arrived, and he had never been out unless he was shackled to his oaf brother. 

He had earned this tiny shred of independence. 

As he strolled down the sidewalk as inconspicuously as possible, dressed in simple jeans and a Black Sabbath t-shirt he had begrudgingly borrowed from Stark, he wondered what there was to do. Midgard was so noisy, but it seemed to him there was nothing really happening. Nothing but anxious minions running around doing their master's bidding. It made him wonder how the mortals would have reacted to being under his rule, even if he hadn't truly wanted it in the first place. 

The feeling of being free; not being heavily chained and surrounded by guards, was strange after all the time he had spent as a prisoner. The "Battle of New York," as the humans liked to call it had been a little over five years ago, which was not very long in the grand scheme of Loki's lifespan. But being held captive in Tony Stark's dwelling was far less glamorous than most people realized.

Loki had been taken to Asgard to face Odin only to be sent straight back to Midgard a few weeks later. Everyone in Asgard believed him to be imprisoned in the dungeons. That was, after all, the logical solution to Odin's problem son- lock him up for life. However, Nick Fury believed Loki would be an asset to the Avengers- if he could learn some impulse control. Loki still had no idea what that meant. 

Fury and Stark had brought in psychologists, psychiatrists, hypnotists, and some of the best neurologists Midgard had to offer, but Loki managed to scare them all away within a matter of minutes. He hadn't even tried. 

Each one of the psychologists had come in, asked him a few questions, and bolted for the door upon receiving his answers. Same with the psychiatrists. The hypnotists had not been able to do their jobs because Loki had hypnotized them. Fury still thought he'd done it on purpose, but he hadn't. He'd done exactly as they asked- stared into their eyes, watched the pendulum, and the next thing he knew they were in some kind of trance. When they finally came out of it, they too ran for the door without looking back. 

The neurologists had been a different story. Loki's anxiety was palpable when they asked him to lie down on that little table. And when they told him he would be lying inside that cylindrical tube for up to forty five minutes, green light shot from his fingertips involutarily, and the neurologists quit too. 

At that point, Fury felt there was no hope for Loki. He was "untreatable." 

He was a god who didn't measure up in Midgard because he was untreatable. 

An Asgardian who was worthless in Asgard because he was actually a Frost Giant. 

And a Frost Giant who didn't belong in Jotunheim because he was a runt. 

Evidently, Loki didn't belong anywhere. 

Those were the thoughts that plagued his mind as he walked around Manhattan, aware that he was still being monitored by the bug Stark had implanted in his wrist, but not really motivated to escape. He didn't really care anymore. He was just glad he had somehow met Fury's rigorous behavior standards so he could have a few hours alone every once in a while. 

"Worthless little runt."

At first, Loki thought the voice had come from his own mind. After all of the legitimate medical professionals had run for the hills, Fury suggested he work closely with Dr. Banner. Fury thought Bruce might be able to provide Loki with some anger management techniques since he had been through quite a bit of therapy himself. Loki hadn't meant to reveal his secret- that his biggest nemesis wasn't actually Thor, but himself. But it was difficult to hide anything from Bruce. The truth was, he heard things like that all the time. He'd tried not to listen to that "inner voice," as Bruce called it, but it was almost impossible. 

"I don't know why I ever adopted you in the first place. Look at you. Sniveling little shit."

At that point, Loki knew the voice wasn't in his head. It was someone closeby. He didn't know who was at the receiving end of those comments, but he intended to find out. 

"Destroying my curtains and everything else in the apartment. Now at least I'll be through with you. Good luck surviving out here on your own."

There was a rough male voice grumbling in the next alley, and Loki snuck around the corner to take a peek. 

The man was dressed in jeans and a tattered sweatshirt, and he was peering into a cardboard box in his arms. The expression on his face was hard and cold, and Loki said a silent prayer to whatever god ruled the Midgardians that he didn't have a human child inside. 

As Loki watched, the man tossed the box into the nearest dumpster and walked away. The cruel grin on the man's face made Loki want to disembowel him, but in deference to Fury's rules, he refrained. And as soon as the man was gone, Loki ran to the trash receptacle to see what was inside the box. 

There was a scratching sound, along with a muffled hiss as he gingerly lifted the box from the bin. At least it's not human, Loki thought. He was unprepared for what he found, though because upon opening the lid, he found a tiny black fur ball with big bright gold eyes. 

"You're just a kitten!" 

The kitten mewled loudly and leapt out of the box and onto his chest, latching its sharp claws in his t-shirt. 

Loki stood stock still for a moment with his arms out to his sides. He had absolutely no idea what to do. He couldn't just leave the kitten there to die; alone and afraid, especially after what he had overheard from that pathetic mortal man who'd dumped it. But he knew bringing the kitten back to the tower would cause such a rift, he would never hear the end of it. 

The tiny black fur ball was staring at him, digging its claws deeper into his chest and giving him the most pitiful, pleading look. 

Worthless little runt... worthless little runt... worthless little runt...  

Loki heard the man's words over and over in his head as he stared at the kitten. He reached one hand down to touch its back. 

It was so soft! He rubbed the kitten's back with one hand until it settled; still hanging on the front of his shirt. Then, almost against his better judgement, he reached his other hand down. As the kitten released its grip on his shirt, it seemed to fall limp into his hands, and Loki could feel himself giving in to its charms. It had been so long since he took care of anything or anyone other than himself, and he hadn't done such a great job at that. 

The others liked to think that Loki was incapable of love, but little did they know that before the ruckus on Midgard, he had been a father. Of course, like Loki, his children weren't exactly what the Asgardians considered normal, but he had protected them with everything he had. That is, until Odin took them all away from him. The All-Father had claimed that Loki produced his children by "unnatural means," and they must be sent away. The truth was, Loki had been in love. His children were his. But he never knew the reason for their uniqueness until he found out about his own. By that point though, they were gone, and their mother had been banished as well. Loki had lost everything. 

He stroked the kitten's back, taking comfort in its soft purr. It almost reminded him of baby Fenrir's tiny growl...

Suddenly, Loki didn't care what the others thought. He was taking the kitten back to the tower. There was no way he would abandon such an innocent creature. 

The kitten wriggled in his arms as he walked, and Loki spoke softly to it, hoping to calm its nerves. He knew it had to be afraid. After all, it had been ripped from its home, yelled at, tossed into a dumpster, and ultimately rescued by a complete stranger. Not to mention the unspeakable things that might have happened to it before it was abandoned. But Loki couldn't allow himself to think about that. Otherwise, he would turn around and hunt that worthless mortal man down. 

As he entered the elevator, he realized that his free day had been cut short by about two hours, but he didn't really care. What was he supposed to do in Manhattan all alone, other than pull pranks? He almost thought they wanted him to get into trouble. That way, they could lock him in his room. That way, they wouldn't have to face him. 

"What are you doing back so soon, dark one?" 

Bucky was sitting at the kitchen counter nursing a cup of coffee when Loki emerged from the elevator on the fifth floor. He liked to call Loki various names, but the two had some things in common. No one really trusted either of them. Well, no one trusted Bucky except for Steve. And no one trusted Loki. So, they became uneasy friends. 

"I got bored. No one to kill," Loki said, deadpan. 

Bucky laughed, knowing that's exactly what the rest of the team would think. 

A mewl came from Loki's hands, and Bucky looked up from his coffee. 

"Dude, is that what I think it is?!" 

Loki shot Bucky a warning glance and walked toward him. 

"Shhhh... I just rescued it--" he held up the kitten's tail -- "her...From a dumpster." 

Bucky cooed at the kitten, stroking her fur. "You found this baby in a dumpster?" 

Loki's lips flattened into a thin line. He didn't feel like talking about what he had witnessed. Anyone who would abandon a helpless animal the way that man had...

"Yeah. Something like that." 

"Reindeer games! What the hell are you doing back so soon? Already got yourself in trouble, didn't you? Are the police on their way?" 

Loki gritted his teeth to keep from snapping back. Diplomacy was his friend right now, he knew, but it was just so hard sometimes. 

"Do you honestly think your mortal security teams could catch me? I know you were keeping tabs on my whereabouts the entire time. Did you see anything out of sorts, Stark?" 

"Enough," Fury barked. "Loki, what's the deal? There must be a reason you returned two hours early. So help me, if you did something, I will send your ass straight back to Asgard and you know what will happen!" 

Loki closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose, just like Banner had taught him. He was thankful his hands were full and hidden behind the counter at that moment because he didn't know what he might have done otherwise. Any time Fury was angry at Loki, he threatened him with Odin; knowing that the thing that would happen is Loki's execution. 

Suddenly, the room was full- Romanov, Banner, and the soldier walked in at the sound of Fury's bellowing. 

"What's going on?" Banner asked softly. As much as Loki detested his alter ego, he'd come to like the man himself. He was easy to be around; soft-spoken and calm. 

"Loki came back early, and everyone is freaking the fuck out for no reason," Bucky muttered. 

Steve shot him a look, but he ignored it. 

"There's always a reason with this guy. You just haven't been around enough to know that yet," Stark said. 

Everyone was quiet for a moment- staring awkwardly at Loki, but he didn't bother speaking. He knew he couldn't defend himself even if he hadn't actually done anything. They were against him, so he was automatically in the wrong. 

A tiny mewl escaped from his hands, and Loki schooled his face hoping no one had noticed it. His initial plan had been to take the kitten straight to his bedroom and hide it from everyone. However, none of his plans ever really worked the way he thought they would. 

"What the hell was that?" Fury asked. 

"For fuck's sake, just show 'em, Loki. Until you do, they're gonna think you did something awful," Bucky grumbled. 

The kitten poked her head out from between Loki's fingers, and let out a long high wail. 

"Oh hell no," Stark yelled. "You can't bring that thing in here!" 

Loki pulled the kitten to his chest in a protective gesture. "She was being abused, Stark. The worthless mortal abandoned her in a dumpster...left her to die in a cardboard box. How was I supposed to leave her there?"

Natasha looked at Stark, then at Loki. "You rescued a kitten?" 

"Of course I did. How could I not? Look at her...she's completely helpless. That's why I came back two hours early." 

Loki stroked the kitten's back and smiled as it began to purr. Natasha grasped Stark's arm, pulling him away from the group. 

"You had better let him keep that kitten, Tony. Look at him. I have never seen him be affectionate with anyone or anything," she whispered. 

Fury joined them, but said nothing for a few moments as they all watched Loki and the kitten. He cradled her next to his face, whispering to her and gently pet her ears.

"Are we sure that's really Loki? I mean, he didn't hoodwink the bug in his wrist and take off, did he? Leaving this...cat lover in his place?" Fury mused. 

"Nah, that's him. And I think you should let him keep her. This will be good for Loki. You're always telling me to find some way to keep him calm and occupied. Well, this is it," Bruce interjected as he strolled up beside them.

Steve, Bucky, and Loki stood around the kitchen counter while the others talked. The only reason Steve was still in the room was to keep Bucky from getting himself into trouble. He was tired of all the drama around the tower. Bucky, however tended to let his emotions get the best of him, and ended up in more fights than Steve cared to admit. It seemed his friend had taken Loki's place as the main instigator in the group. 

Steve stood watching Loki and wondered how he had stumbled on the kitten in his little journey that afternoon. Loki wasn't very forthcoming, so he was surprised when the god started to talk. 

"I think I'll call her Fennie-- after my boy, Fenrir. I lost him so long ago..." he muttered sadly while rubbing the kitten's ears.

"Oh, your cat in Asgard?" Bucky asked.

"No. My son." Loki looked up at the two of them and his eyes clouded for a second. "I was a dad once. My children weren't accepted in Asgard, so they were sent away. I never saw them again. I still have no idea what happened to them."

Bucky didn't say anything else, but he looked at Steve as if asking for help. 

"Tony---" Steve started, but Tony and the rest had been eavesdropping. 

"I know, I know. I heard. Fine. Keep the cat. Just... don't let her crap on my carpet." 

Natasha slapped Tony on the shoulder. "You old softy! I knew you'd come around! Now, what you should do is let Loki use the rest of his time out to get some supplies. He needs cat food, a collar, a litter box..." 

Loki looked up suddenly, having forgotten the need for so many accessories. 

"I have to get all of those things today?"

"Hey, can I go? I used to have a cat...a long time ago. I can help you find what you need," Bucky whispered hopefully. 

"Tony." Steve jerked his head toward Loki and Bucky, "I'm taking these two out to get necessary supplies. They'll be safe with me." 

"Take the kitten with you," he replied. 

"We will, dad," Bucky mumbled. 

Later that night, Loki lay on his back in the center of his bed. Fennie ran around the room chasing illusions of mice while Loki laughed. He'd almost forgotten what it was like to not feel alone. Later, she curled up next to him and fell fast asleep. Loki pulled her close to his chest so he could feel her soft purr and smiled.