Abandoned

"So, is it Pet Smart or Pets Mart? And can you purchase animals here? Why do mortals need a store for everything? Why don't you have just one place?" Loki asked. 

He was staring at the Petsmart sign as they headed across the parking lot, and Steve already knew this would be a trial for him. 

"I think it's just Petsmart. Like, you're smart for shopping for your pets here," Bucky replied. 

"But like I said, wouldn't it be prudent, er smart, to have one store for everything?" Loki countered. 

"Have you ever been to Petsmart, Loki? It's huge. There is no way you could fit all of that shit inside Wal-Mart with all of the crap they already have." 

"What in the Nine is Wal-Mart?"

"Can we just go inside please?" Steve said through gritted teeth.

His patience with Loki and Bucky was running short, especially after a half-hour bus trip across Manhattan. They'd had to hide Fennie inside Loki's backpack, and Loki hadn't been thrilled about that. He had peeked into the bag every time he thought no one was looking; making Steve paranoid that they would get caught. Plus, Loki and Bucky acted like a couple of miscreants; making fun of everyone and everything they saw. Steve was surprised they hadn't started mooning passersby. 

Loki cradled a sleeping Fennie to his chest as they entered the store, and Steve noticed that he looked around as if someone might try to snatch her away at any moment. He was amazed at how attached Loki was to the tiny kitten. 

"Okay, you definitely need a collar in case she gets lost," Bucky pointed out as soon as they walked inside. 

Loki's eyes were suddenly filled with fear, and Steve had an urge to comfort him. He reminded himself that Loki had lost children. It was no surprise now that the god was dark and bitter. He wondered, not for the first time that day, what Loki might have been like before. Before such a devastating loss. How had he even lived through that? 

"That cannot happen. I will not let her out of my sight." Loki looked down at Fennie, and he smiled sadly. He couldn't lose her. He spent far too much of his time wondering where his lost children were. And they certainly were not as defenseless as she was with her tiny hiss and her sharp, but brittle claws. 

"It's alright. We'll find her a suitable collar... and we can even put her address on it!" Bucky said cheerfully. He glanced at Steve, almost as though he hoped he'd said the right thing. Steve gave him a subtle nod. 

Loki seemed placated by that for the moment, so they went to the collar section where Loki began to browse. 

A few seconds later, Loki approached Bucky with what appeared to be a black leather dog collar. 

"So this is where they constructed your...costume." 

"Ha. Ha. Very funny," Bucky replied. "You know man, I could say the same for your," he rolled his eyes, "armor, if that's what you want to call it. Although I have never seen any gold plated goat horns here." 

Loki huffed, but gave him a smirk and Steve let out a breath. He never really knew if their teasing would get out of control- or if one of them would take it the wrong way and try to kill the other. It hadn't happened yet, but they were both volatile even when they weren't being provoked. 

At some point, Fennie had woken and was climbing up Loki's chest, using her claws to anchor herself to him, but he didn't seem to mind. He simply looked down at her endearingly and spoke to her as if she understood him. 

"What do you think, Fennie? Will you wear a green collar?" He held up a dark emerald collar studded with gold sparkles. Two tiny gold bells hung from its clasp. 

Fennie immediately reached her paw out to bat at the shiny bells, and Loki chuckled when she nearly toppled from his chest. His big hands caught her without incident, and he continued to dangle the makeshift toy in front of her as they walked to the next aisle. 

Loki looked up at Steve; his expression wistful. 

"Fenrir was so intelligent. He would answer me. He spoke just as you and I do. If only they'd taken the time to talk to him, things might have been different..."

Steve stopped walking and gave Loki his full attention.

"Loki, why...I mean... What did they not like about Fenrir? About your children?"

Steve's heart beat in his throat as he waited for the god's response. He knew he was treading on thin ice but he also felt Loki needed to talk.

Loki sighed. "Fenrir was- is - a giant wolf; with extraordinary strength. The Asgardians were terrified of him, but they needn't have been. He really had no intention of hurting anyone. And all they had to do was ask him. He was as gentle as this kitten," he said, looking down at Fennie.

Steve didn't speak. He wanted Loki to continue, and he knew that anything he said could be held against him.

Loki took a breath as if steadying his nerves.

"Jormungandr is a serpent. He is also very, very large... and I suppose he's intimidating, but... he's my child, and he never did anything to deserve being banished. None of them did. They weren't like me..."

Loki thought of their mother- of the way she'd reacted to his 'monsterous' children- and he remember with painful clarity why he had loved her so much. She had loved them. Oh how she'd loved them. To her, they were perfect. It would have been compassionate for Odin to banish them all together- so they could still be a family- but Odin would have none of that. They were flung to opposite ends of the Nine Realms, never to see each other again. His daughter was the only one whose whereabouts were known, and even that information was given to him just to hurt him. He knew where she was, but he was not allowed to visit. Only the dead were allowed. One day, Hel. I promise.

"And Hel... She was the one who suffered the most," he shook his head, "I'm... I can't talk about this anymore, Captain."

It had been a long time since Loki had really thought about the details surrounding his childrens' disappearance from Asgard, and he'd forgotten just how much it hurt to do so. Talking about it was just that much worse, but he was thankful that the soldier hadn't really commented. It was a testament to his character that, upon finding out that Loki had a giant wolf and a serpent for children, he did not even make a face. Loki suddenly had a lot more respect for the man. 

"So, what next? I, um... never had to have these items before, so I don't know what I'm looking for," Loki said.

He hoped they understood that neither Fenrir nor Jormungandr required a collar or a litter box- whatever that was. And Hel was closer to the Asgardian aesthetic than he was, really. He just didn't realize it at the time. 

"You definitely need a litter box. And some toys!" Bucky said excitedly. 

"Wait. You're telling me that I have to scoop feces out of this thing?" Loki asked; incredulous. 

"Um... yeah. How did you not know that? Cats poo. And when they do, they don't clean up after themselves," Bucky replied with a chuckle. 

Loki looked down at Fennie, who was sitting haphazardly on his shoulder. She had managed to crawl all over him during the short time they'd been in the store, but Loki didn't seem to mind. Evidently her claws pierced his clothing, but never actually hurt his skin. Steve watched in amazement as the little razors dug holes in every available surface of his shirt, but Loki didn't seem to feel anything. 

"Not to change the subject or anything, but how does that not bother you?" 

"What?" 

"Fennie. Clawing all over you. If she did that to me, I would be bleeding. Heavily," Steve remarked. 

Loki smirked. "Have you forgotten already? I am a god! Fennnie's meager- yet adorable- claws cannot pierce my flesh, mortal." 

Bucky doubled over laughing, which made Steve laugh as well. 

"Well, it's a damn good thing because there would be blood all over Tony's carpet and hell to pay!" 

Steve was glad to see some of Loki's sass return after the conversation they'd just had. He'd looked so forlorn, Steve almost regretted asking about his children, but now he seemed back to his old self. 

Just then, a pretty brunette wearing a red Petsmart apron walked toward them, and Steve watched as both Bucky and Loki put on their best flirt faces. He rolled his eyes. These two. 

"Are you looking for a litter box for that cutie?" She asked. 

"Yeah. He's been having accidents all over the rug," Bucky joked, nodding toward Loki. 

"Very funny, but we both know I have had over fifteen hundred years of practice, so the more likely culprit would be you, Barnes." 

"Okay, okay... yes. We are looking for a litter box for the kitten," Steve amended, giving Loki and Bucky a look of utter frustration. 

 The confusion disappeared from her face immediately, and was replaced by a flirty smile- directed at Steve. Both Loki and Bucky seemed to notice because they began vying for her attention. 

"I was showing Lo- um, Larry here, the litter box I used to have...for my cat who recently passed away," Bucky mused sadly. 

Loki rolled his eyes so dramatically, it was amazing he could still stand up straight. 

"Oh, I had no idea your massively obese feline had finally dropped. Please do accept my deepest condolences," he crooned sarcastically. 

The sales clerk was looking back and forth between the two of them as if she had no idea what to say. Finally, she muttered an I'm sorry for your loss and began pulling litter boxes from the shelves. 

"Have you considered an automatic?" She said; a bright smile fighting for dominance over the awkward look in her eyes. 

As they walked away, Bucky was still babbling on about the amazing technological advances in feces collection while Steve carried Fennie's new automatic litter box. 

"Seriously, Buck? Your recently deceased cat? That's how you planned to win her affections? That cat died fifty years ago," Steve laughed. 

"Well she didn't know that," Bucky shrugged. "I think she felt sorry for me at first."

"And why did you call me 'Larry'?" Loki asked. "Do I look like a Larry to you?" 

Steve and Bucky both burst out laughing at Loki's expression. He was obviously offended, but neither really understood why. 

"Well, I couldn't very well tell her who you really are, could I?" 

"Honestly, I can't believe no one has recognized you," Steve mused. 

Loki looked thoughtful for a moment, and Steve wondered what was on his mind. In the past when the team had been out together with Loki tagging along, Steve had expressed concern about people recognizing him, but Fury shrugged him off. He seemed to think that Loki deserved whatever backlash he got from the public, "up to and including public beatings." Steve did not agree with him. No one deserved that kind of unwanted attention. He knew exactly how raucous human beings could be when they were in groups, and even though Loki was practically indestructible, it was just wrong. 

Loki had suddenly remembered how people reacted to him when he'd first come back to Midgard after his trial. It hadn't been pleasant. Fury, of course, had known about it all along, but he hadn't bothered to let anyone else in on the secret. So when he arrived; shackled and muzzled, dragged into the tower by Thor, the first thing he heard was Tony's voice. What the fuck is he doing back here? 

The others hadn't reacted any better. Natasha had expressed a different concern. She actually thought Loki would assault her, and evidently so did the archer. He stood vigil outside her bedroom door for at least a week after Loki arrived, even though Loki wasn't allowed outside hisown bedroom. He was kept in solitary confinement for several months "to make sure there weren't any incidents."

Loki blinked a few times to clear the memories away. Just thinking about those months locked away in his room- being offered strange Midgardian food through a hole in his door, the team hurling insults at the walls as they passed- put him in a dark mood. 

"You mentioned toys?" Loki asked somewhat solemnly. 

"Yeah. Cats need toys, Larry. They love to jump at stuff," Bucky answered. 

Upon entering the overstuffed aisle of cat toys, Loki forgot everything he'd been brooding about. Suddenly, the only thing that seemed important was finding the perfect toys for Fennie. 

"Look at her!!! We must get this one!" 

Loki had found a pink feathered puff ball on a stick, and as he shook it at Fennie, she jumped and mewled. It seemed that he was more excited than she was. 

The next one was a bouncy ball that Fennie chased down the aisle until Loki scooped her into his arms again; deciding that they needed that one too. 

In the end, they spent more money on toys than the collar, engraving, and automatic litter box combined. But, as they walked out of the store, Loki mused, "I suppose I could just turn into a cat myself... then we could play together, couldn't we darling?" 

Steve looked at Bucky behind Loki's back; a silent question hanging in the air. 

"Um, did you say turn yourself into a cat?" Bucky asked. 

"Yes, why not?" Loki answered; still gently stroking Fennie's head. 

"Oh, this I have to see... Not one, but two cats running around the tower. Tony will lose his mind."