The other Ravager ships had long since floated away back into the vast black of space and things had started to fall back into some semblance of a routine.
Even with the relative attempt at normalcy going on Peter was having a difficult time.
He made his way to Yondu’s room, he just wanted to be alone and try to sort out everything he was feeling.
As he slowly opened the door he looked around, he hadn’t been in there since the funeral to get some of Yondu’s things for the pyre, it looked so much smaller somehow without Yondu in it and lifeless, like all the energy that had ever been in it had been sucked out into the vacuum of space along with Yondu’s ashes.
He sighed as he walked around, running his fingers over the remainder of Yondu’s trinkets, datapads with work requests that would never be finished and various odd parts to things Yondu had probably taken apart to see how they worked but couldn’t get back together.
Peter sat on Yondu’s still made bed, the thought that Yondu would never sleep in it again caused an ache in Peter’s chest he hadn’t really been expecting to be so strong.
Why couldn’t he have seen past Yondu’s bravado and posturing before?
Why was he so blind he had to have Yondu spell it out for him to understand?
What else about Yondu, his only real Dad, had he failed to notice?
Peter sighed as he took in the room once more.
He’d been in here a million times growing up, it was the most comforting part of the ship and most terrifying depending on why he had been there.
By the door to the hall was the mark from the time there was a mutiny while Yondu was off ship - Kraglin had rushed in and ushered him under Yondu’s bed and then shot everyone who tried to come in until Tullk came and gave an all clear.
In the wall that seperated his room and Yondu’s was a long scratch from when he first started puberty - everything had made him throw an unholy tantrum it seemed and Yondu had sent the arrow flying after him to scare him out of Yondu’s room and into the hall to his own room when Yondu finally lost his patience.
There was the door to Kraglin’s conjoined room - open as always in case Yondu needed his First Mate for anything, not that it would ever happen again now.
He knew the desk had a handful of units in it, probably some protein bars and a half eaten can of rotting Beasties, one of the drawers had a few pictures he had drawn when he was younger that Yondu had sneaked out of the trash.
Really, how could he have been so dumb to not see Yondu kept those because he cared instead of ‘blackmail’ like he’d told him when he noticed them once while snooping around as a teen and asked about them?
He spent a lot of time at that desk, working on things with Yondu or Kraglin or learning about the universe because Yondu had been a stickler that he didn’t grow up ‘stupid like tha rest of these damn idjits, Kraglin excluded’.
Peter sighed again as he set his Zune down beside him on the bed and opened the drawer to the little stand by Yondu’s bed.
It was the one place he was never allowed to get into and until now he’d never really thought too much about what might be in there.
He figured it was where Yondu kept his stash of pornos or something when he had thought about it but now that it was so clear Yondu wasn’t the total asshole he wanted everyone else to think he was maybe there was something sentimental there that could help him understand Yondu more.
Slowly Peter slid the drawer open with his eyes closed, he was half afraid to watch it open because knowing Yondu’s sense of humor it might just be a big joke, like, here’s this drawer that I’ll get pissy about you even looking at the handle of your whole life so you get your hopes up there’s something amazing in here and when you finally look it’s empty haha got ya boy or it could quite possibly be filled with nothing but porn afterall.
Peter cracked one eye open as he looked down at the now open drawer of mystery, to his surprise there were only a couple pieces of paper and a digital picture frame.
He picked the frame up and turned it on, a slideshow of pictures began.
There were several of Yondu with Stakar on what had to be the Starhawk, a few of Yondu and the other Ravager captains all smiling and laughing as they did various things together - one was clearly after a heist, another after what looked like they had been in some kind of bar brawl, one of them all sitting at a big table with lots of papers and data pads on it, one of them all flipping off whoever was taking the picture at the time.
Yondu and Kraglin as 20 somethings being all chummy, them in a mess hall with Yondu leaned over and biting Kraglin’s sandwich while Kraglin was distracted by his neighbor, there was a series of shots of them washing an M-Ship together, Kraglin throwing the soapy sponge at Yondu, the perfect timing of half a bucket of water coming at Kraglin and finally them in a heap of wetness on the floor with laughter plastered all over their faces.
There was one of the Eclector when she was brand new with all of Yondu’s original crew in front of her.
Next came a series of photos of Yondu and Kraglin dressed in their best leathers looking nervous, there was a close up of what looked to be Yondu’s blue hand tied intricately to Kraglin’s tan one with the red thread working its way up their wrists, forearms and tied at their elbows, it made Peter smile and he assumed it must have been the ceremony for when Kraglin became First Mate.
A few more various photos went past until there was one of a small orange child who looked to be about the same age Peter had been when he was taken from his home, then a pink squid looking toddler with six tentacles sucking on a gaudy trinket, a green boy with blue hair, then another child and another… the children Yondu must have taken to Ego.
A tear escaped Peter’s eye at the realization Yondu had taken a picture of each child, not just taken but kept each photo all this time.
How many times did Yondu sit and look at all these happy faced children and be reminded they were dead because he had been sucked into Ego’s lies?
A picture of Peter biting Horuz came up and he couldn’t help but smile, he’d been an ornery right shit when they first picked him up and it was a surprise Yondu hadn’t taken him to Ego anyway.
There were lots of pictures of Peter among pictures of the crew and Kraglin.
Peter with various members of the crew, Peter sitting in the Warbird at the controls, Kraglin smiling laid on a bed in the medbay with a guilty looking Peter sitting on the bed next to him with Doc in mid stitch of patching up a gash to Kraglin’s abdomen, one of Peter sound asleep on Yondu in the Captain’s chair with Kraglin’s snickering reflection in the opposite port window, Half-nut and Oblo trying to stop an overflowing toilet with looks of utter panic and horror, Tullk writing in a big leather bound book that Peter recognized to be the Ravager Records, Kraglin’s legs sticking out from under the Warbird, Kraglin glaring at whoever was taking his picture as he tried to work, lots of pictures of Kraglin scattered through out he had noticed.
One of Peter on his first date popped up - which, huh, Peter hadn’t even noticed Yondu following him on.
There were other pictures like that, pictures Yondu or someone must have taken while he wasn’t aware of them even being around, like during his first solo mission, the first time he had run away - he had told Yondu he hated him and never wanted to see him again then took off in the crowded market, he didn’t even remember what it was that Yondu had done to deserve his tiny wrath but apparently Yondu had followed him and stuck close knowing he’d change his mind, which he did as soon as three Badoon soldier's had cornered him with the intentions of capturing him to sell, there was a picture of him sneaking out of some girls house and one of him clearly too intoxicated to stand at a bar somewhere - he vaguely remembered getting drunk but not how he got back to the ship that night and now this was proof Yondu must have been spying on him and got him back.
How many times did Yondu follow him or have someone else follow him to make sure his kid stayed safe?
Why, why couldn’t he have seen how much Yondu actually protected him instead of focusing on the times he hadn’t been there and the things he didn’t do?
Maybe Yondu hadn’t taken him to the park to play catch, he didn’t get to have sleep overs or go to the arcade like other kids and Yondu smacked him around a little more than he would have liked but it taught him how to fight and Yondu taught him to shoot and how to fly a ship, he taught him how to talk his way out of trouble and which species didn’t praying-mantis their mates during his hormone fueled need to sleep across the galaxy, it really hadn’t been all that bad.
Peter turned the data pad off and set it back in the drawer and turned his attention to the papers.
The first was a receipt for the Milano with info on Peter jotted on the back like his various call signs and what criminal charges he had on what planet, next was some official looking document written in a language Peter couldn’t read, and then there were two folded up together papers that appeared to be older than Peter was.
He gently unfolded the first yellowing page to reveal Yondu’s chicken scratch handwriting.
As Peter started to read he quickly realized what he was looking at were wedding vows.
Yondu had never mentioned being married!
How could he have never noticed Yondu had a lover, why didn’t he have any pictures of them with the others on the data pad in the drawer?
Did something happen and that was why he never told Peter or kept things around, how bad must that have been if Yondu kept pictures of the children he delivered to death but not his mate?
He wondered if Kraglin knew anything about it, they always seemed to be together, Kraglin knew everything, it seemed like, about Yondu and he had known Yondu since his Stakar days so maybe he could ask him later.
The more he read the more his chest hurt at how sentimental Yondu had been at one point given he had spent the first 20 years of his life as a slave, before all the exile, mutinies and having to pick up a more than seedy crew had re-hardened him into the man who either didn’t want to or couldn’t admit or possibly down right even could show he cared probably like when he was fighting for his life as a slave.
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When we first met I knew you were something special.
You touched my hand and it felt like I had my Tahlei back and it was pulsing, waving, warm, it was like a gentle current was running all over my body and it was trying to say ‘home’.
I don’t know how Anthos knew I was going to get sold, or that I wouldn’t never go back to my home planet, I don’t know how he saw to put my mate on the other side of the galaxy instead of there but if he exists I guess I gotta thank him for it.
I’ll thank every God and Goddess I gotta for you.
I ain’t never done anything right enough to deserve you and I ain’t likely to but I’ll try long as it keeps you here.
I never want to be without you, you make me a whole man again, a better man.
I can withstand anything as long as I have you by my side.
I will love you until the light of the last star fades and longer.
I loved you then, I love you now and I always will.
You more.
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Peter let a tiny sob escape into the desolate room.
Yondu had found his soulmate, Peter was sure of it.
Who ever Yondu had written these vows for was clearly the love of a lifetime, the kind of love his Mom had always talked about, but this was real not like the fake love Ego had blinded her with.
Peter wondered if the other paper was some kind of marriage certificate, he pulled it back out and checked it all over for any kind of names but there was nothing.
He slid the certificate back in the drawer and re-read Yondu’s vows.
How could he have missed this?
Oh right, he was too absorbed in all the things he was missing or wanted to focus on Yondu’s emotional constipation causes before.
Yondu loved him as much as the person he wrote these vows for even if he hadn’t ever expressed it as eloquently or open as what was written, Yondu sacrificed himself for him though and that spoke volumes more than words in the end.
Yondu threw anything he had left in the universe away all for him.
God everything was his fault.
Maybe if he hadn’t switched the orb the crew wouldn’t have been so pissed at Yondu about protecting him and he wouldn’t have had to replace the deserters with true scumbags, maybe if he hadn’t pissed off the Sovereign, maybe if he had understood Yondu couldn’t be soft around the crew because they would fill him full of blaster and knife holes and just tried to avoid putting Yondu in positions that would cause him to have to protect him - sure they might not have if Yondu had only told them Peter was his kid but maybe they would have, no one joined the Ravagers because they were the picture of mental health after all.
Groot had told him the crew were awful to him despite thinking he was adorable and wanting to make him their mascot so what would they have done to Peter if Yondu hadn’t smacked him around once in awhile and been hard on him?
Why couldn’t he have thought about that before he ran away and stole the orb?
Another sob wretched it’s way out of Peter as his mind made a race track of misery and maybes.
Peter cried clutching the proof that Yondu had a beating feeling heart, willing himself to calm down and not get carried away in the grief of both their mistakes and how things could have been.
Once he was calm enough to continue he gingerly unfolded the other page that had been with Yondu’s wedding vows.
The next page was in someone else’s handwriting, at the top scrawled ‘bonding vows’.
It looked oddly familiar but he couldn’t place it, no one on the Eclector actually put pen to paper very often, not when there were data pads and holo screens to use.
He wondered if maybe the fear of a battle over sentiment kept Yondu from showing he cared about the love of his life like it had kept him from showing his love for Peter.
It made sense Yondu wouldn’t want anyone like Taserface to know who his soulmate was, after all they could be used as a bargain chip or a means to hurt him just like some of the crew and others had done on occasion with him before he learned how to really fight and get away without needing Yondu to totally rescue him each time.
Maybe he knew who it was, maybe he walked past them every day without even knowing it.
As he read he hoped there would be some clue as to who Yondu married.
This was a part of Yondu’s life that he had never known about, that had he lived he surely would have told him all about when he prodded his new Daddy for information and bonding or if nothing else brought up on Peter’s own wedding day.
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Bonding Vows
My whole life was hell before you and looking back I don’t know why I didn’t just end it all.
I think some part of me must have known you was coming.
You’re worth every last second of it.
When I took your hand that first time I wasn’t expecting anything special but it was like everything drained out of me and all there were was you.
You ain’t always the easiest man to love but I do.
Even if our world comes crashing down I’ll be by your side.
I love you more than anything in the whole damn multiverse.
I will love you until the last atom of both our existence is no more and longer.
I loved you then, I love you now and I always will.
You more.
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Peter smiled through his tears.
He had wanted to find something in this room to connect him with Yondu’s lost secrets and he had hit the jackpot of feels.
Yondu had been loved and even if Yondu had forgotten it along the way, even if Yondu had let the guilt of his mistakes cloud seeing it later it had been there, somehow that made Peter feel better.
Peter had on many occasions tried to show he cared about Yondu, especially before he got to be a restless 20 something year old ready to fly the nest and sick of how Yondu pushed and pulled.
Part of him had always hoped Yondu cared about him too, he was just about the only family he had after all and finding confirmation that Yondu had a heart and wasn’t just telling him what he thought he wanted to hear in a last ditch effort to score cosmic points to get into the good side of the afterlife because he knew he wouldn’t make it was more comforting than anything else he could think of.
He loved Yondu, whoever Yondu had married loved Yondu, Rocket and Groot loved Yondu, Stakar and the other Ravager factions held love for Yondu - even though he secretly wished it didn’t take the man’s death for Stakar to readmit it.
He hoped wherever Yondu was he knew how much he meant to all of them, that he could be proud of at least some of his life.
He hoped wherever Yondu was if death allowed him to see everything clearly he wasn’t wallowing in self pity over the fact he had thought he was wholeheartedly alone ever.
Wiping his face on his shirt sleeve Peter stood with the decades old papers filled with love in his other hand to find Kraglin.
As Peter had come to assume Kraglin was in the engine room tinkering with something that probably didn’t need fiddled with but kept him busy.
Kraglin had been scarce since the funeral, he’d been dealing with all his feelings completely alone and keeping himself as busy as possible in what Peter figured was an attempt of distraction, for himself or the others so they wouldn’t meddle with his way of grieving.
Kraglin was like Yondu, he kept his emotions to himself for the most part although he did have more flashes of them.
He stood silently in the doorway watching.
Kraglin had his jumpsuit arms tied around his waist and a stained tank top clung to this skinny frame showing off scars Peter hadn’t seen in years and some he just hadn’t ever seen period.
Were any of the newer ones from the mutiny?
Rocket had vaguely told him about it and Kraglin had filled in the blanks for the most part, he knew Kraglin hadn’t meant to light the powder keg that had been brewing since the orb, that he was just frustrated and had been trying to get Yondu to listen and Peter couldn’t blame him.
Hell he had been there, inadvertently making things worse only to have Yondu forgive him without ever having to even ask because that’s just how Yondu was with certain people.
Guilt pinged in his chest at the thought, Yondu had threatened to eat him, feed him to his crew, down right kill him all the time and yet he never had.
Why couldn’t he have seen that before?
“What ya got there Peter?” came the solid voice bringing him back to the present.
Kraglin was wiping his hands on a cloth staring at him like the papers might be something poisonous.
“Oh, uh, I found these in Yondu’s room” he looked down at the aging papers in his hand “I was just, like, you know, looking through stuff. Not snooping or anything” Peter gave a light chuckle and put his hands up in mock self defense at the small glare he got.
Kraglin had essentially kept Yondu’s room exactly the way it had always been and no one had dared to try and change it or even suggest such a thing.
Since the funeral Peter had looked into it from the doorway often, he suspected Kraglin often sat in the room and just took everything in or talked to his Captain, Rocket and Groot had went in once, nothing was ever moved though, except for things in the bathroom shared by it and Kraglin’s room which was to be expected.
Peter followed Kraglin over to the work bench and sat next to him laying the folded papers on it.
“You and Yondu were close, right? I mean obviously he wouldn’t have made you First Mate otherwise or you know like since he didn’t blow you up with the rest of the crew” he cautiously said while avoiding looking at Kraglin, he didn’t know if mentioning the mutiny again would bring tears or fists or anything and he really didn’t want to upset the man in any way.
Kraglin gave a chuckle but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “yeah I’d say we was close, bout the closest one to him”.
“Do you know who these were for and by? Are they like, I dunno, still around somewhere, maybe Rocket could track them down and get ahold of them or maybe you could tell me about them?” Peter said as he pushed the papers in Kraglin’s direction along the table.
Kraglin looked a bit confused at Peter then began unfolding the papers.
He looked at the first one, shuffled them to look at the other with wide eyes and finally held them side by side.
Tears flooded Kraglin’s eyes and began to spill down into his scruffy beard, the slight tremble that had suddenly started in his hands made the papers shudder lightly in his grip.
“These is…” he started only to be overcome by a small sob that stuck in his throat.
Suddenly Peter felt guilty, he wasn’t sure why as Kraglin didn’t seem to be crying out of some deep sadness or anything.
He wondered if maybe it was a mistake to have shown them to anyone else.
Peter had to clear his throat in order to get any words out “yeah, yeah I know man. Can you… I mean I didn’t know Yondu was even married…” he trailed off as he watched Kraglin’s reaction to reading the vows.
He looked so nostalgic, like Peter wasn’t even in the room anymore and he had a genuine smile on his face despite the still running tears.
When he was finished reading them Kraglin refolded them with a gentleness that one might touch a precious gem with and set them in his lap keeping his hands over them.
“I didn’t know he kept em all these years, kinda figured… bout that time every year I’d catch him sometimes, ya know holdin a couple papers n’ smiling. Guess I shoulda, for all his bitchin bout sentiment he was just as bad” Kraglin gave a small chuckle as if remembering more times Yondu had gotten caught in his own ‘sentiment is bad’ trap.
Just as Peter opened his mouth to ask for more Gamora entered to let them know it was time for their shared evening meal.
Mantis placed her hand on Kraglin’s exposed arm once everyone was settled in to eat around the repurposed table in the makeshift kitchen, “oh, you are happy today” she cheerfully quipped.
“Yeah, got a reminder theys still stars ain’t faded yet out there” Kraglin said with a small half smile.
Groot picked up the folded over vows Kraglin had placed on the table and opened them to see what they were, the tiny tree’s face lighting up as he read.
Rocket raised an eyebrow but before either could say anything Peter blurted out “did anyone know Yondu was married? I found his wedding, bonding, mating whatever vows”.
Kraglin suddenly looked slightly embarrassed and took the papers gently away from Groot who patted his hand, Rocket snorted, Drax looked at Peter as if he had just used a metaphor he didn’t understand, Mantis giggled and Gamora at least looked mildly shocked.
“To who?” Gamora was first to speak.
A giggle from Rocket, an actual freaking giggle of all things, stopped Peter from answering that he didn’t know yet.
Kraglin cleared his throat inadvertently gaining all of Rockets attention, “yeah to who, you know who’d be dumb enough to marry that blue asshole Obfonteri?” Rocket asked in a mocking tone with a snort and toothy smile that said he already knew.
“I thought you were his husband” Drax interjected confused looking at Kraglin.
“Why would you think that Drax?” Peter scoffed.
Drax looked a bit dejected, “It seemed so from the way they interacted while we traveled to Xandar to stop Ronan with them” he turned to Kraglin “you reminded me of the way my wife and I often were”.
Before Peter or Kraglin could say anything Rocket smirked, “obvious to even the big lummox and he wasn’t even around for the trip to Ego’s” he quietly said to Groot who was staring longingly at the papers Kraglin had placed next to his beer.
“What?” was all Peter could think of to say.
“I knew” Mantis chirped.
“I did not” Gamora confirmed as she looked at Peter with sympathy.
Peter turned his attention to Kraglin, “so what happened to them, I mean you’re all that’s left of the crew and he never mentioned anything, he never like snuck off ship alone or anything that I know of. Those vows look pretty old, did something happen to them, are they alive?”.
Everyone but Peter and Kraglin looked to the papers.
“Yeah theys still alive” Kraglin said with the half smile back on his face and all eyes shot back to him.
“Really?” Peter almost squealed out “they’re like my, what, stepparent or something, can we maybe visit or something? Do you know where they are?”, Peter was very excited about meeting the love of Yondu’s life and a potential new parental figure.
Gamora looked reasonably concerned, Peter couldn’t blame her, his last family reunion was still fresh in all their minds and had nearly killed them all, had killed both his Fathers.
The room was so silent Peter wondered if Rocket and Gamora could hear everyone’s food digesting because of their enhancements.
Kraglin sighed, Yondu’s boy was as oblivious as always, and then looked at Rocket and Groot.
Peter looked between them as if maybe he could pick up on whatever unspoken thing they were sharing was if he tried hard enough.
Rocket rolled his eyes and muttered “how do you not even know when you fricken lived with them so long”.
“I am Groot”
“Yeah you said it buddy” Rocket hopped up on the the table and reached for the vows, “uh is it okay?” he asked Kraglin, “promise I won’t make fun… much”.
Kraglin bit his lip but nodded at him before he turned his head just slightly in Peter’s direction “I’m right here Pete”.
Peter looked confused, “yeah I know where you are, duh” he said watching Rocket read the vows, amazed he hadn’t exploded with a crack about sappiness yet.
A smile that threatened to devour her entire being broke across Mantis’ face, Drax yet again looked confused and as realization hit Gamora her pupils blew huge and she stared mouth just slightly open.
Drax leaned over to Mantis, they whispered and then Drax launched up slapping the table and shouting “I WAS correct!”.
Kraglin lightly blushed and looked around the table, if Yondu were still here, he thought, he’d be busting a gut laughing at how dense his boy was and trying to drag it out for all it was worth or perhaps gone the direct route and given them all a bit of a show considering none of them were likely to stab either of them for it like most of their last crew would have.
“Me Peter, thems my vows” he took a deep breath before letting it out in a bit of a huff “to Yondu”.
Peter furrowed his brows, tilted his head, looked confused than angry as if he thought Kraglin might be messing with him and then like someone may have finally turned a light on for the Orloni in his head to find its wheel to run on.
“Wha...WHAT??” Peter all but shrieked, dropping his fork with an earth shattering clang in the quiet that had fallen before continuing “yours? I mean I-I, YOU married Yondu? You two were married? Like, like since… holy crapballs those were wedding pictures!”.
Rocket scoffed as he handed Gamora the papers, she took them with a hesitant glance at Kraglin in silent question of it would be invasive of her to read them too or not and got a slight nod of approval.
“Again Quill, how the hell did you not know?” Rocket accused.
It was Kraglin’s turn to scoff “weren’t like we was real open bout it, specially after the whole kids and Stakar thing”.
Peter looked a little embarrassed as he spoke “I mean I kinda, well maybe not really, I mean I knew you two were like inseparable and you always bought errr got him a trinket or something when you went Planetside, I used to pick on you guys about being an old married couple but neither of you ever said anything. I um guess I just thought you guys were like besties or something. Huh, is that what all those ‘strategy’ meetings were behind locked doors and your door always being open and how come you were in each others rooms so often? Ew gross, I mean not like gross-gross, not gross like wrong gross I mean like parents having sex gross” he was babbling he knew it but he couldn’t stop “what was it like? Not the sex thing, again ew I don’t want to know about that part of Yondu but like the being married thing. What was Yondu like as a husband? What’s with the ‘you more’ thing at the end of both your vows? Tell me everything he kept bottled up, all the stuff I don’t know”.
Gamora handed the papers to Kraglin who used one hand to pass them to Mantis who almost greedily took them smiling ear to ear as he brought his beer bottle up for a long swig with the other hand.
All the Guardians huddled closer to listen to Kraglin start to speak about a part of Peter’s adoptive Father no one knew anything about or at least very little of, excited to hear the first of what was sure to be many stories on the mysteries.