Chapter 10
Steve and Sam burst through the doors and you were pinned against a wall with Bucky's metal hand wrapped around your throat.
"Bucky!" Steve screamed, "It's Y/N! Let go!"
Your eyes were watering and you were close to losing consciousness. Wanda followed closely and pushed Bucky into a slumber. You fell on the floor as you coughed and tried to catch your breath but when you tried to stand, you fainted due to lack of oxygen in your system.
"Take her," Steve whispered to Sam
"He's too dangerous," Sam told Steve, "You need to tell her that or I will,"
"Sam," Steve began but Sam was already scooping you into his arms
"No," Sam said harshly, "They took away the words, not the training that it's runnin' in his blood,"
"Hey stranger," You blinked awake and you realized that speaking wasn't the smartest thing to you
Your throat hurt and you could feel the pain in a shape of a handprint. Sam was in the chair next to your bed and you didn't know how you into bed.
"How you doin'? Sam asked cheesily as he got your water
You drank the cold liquid and it stung all the way down your throat
"What happened?" You whispered
"Barnes lost control," Sam sighed because he knew there was no point in sugarcoating it, "You can't be alone with him, Y/N,"
"He was doing better," You tried to assure him but he wasn't having it
"Yeah and then he wasn't," He scolded you, "If it wasn't for Wanda, we wouldn't even have known that you were in trouble,"
You took a deep breath and used the energy you'd stored to heal yourself. Sam's eyes were glued to your throat as the purple faded away slowly and you got out of bed.
"I can handle it," You stated as you stood by the window
"You shouldn't have to," Same explained, "Look," He turned to you face him as he held your shoulders, "Let someone be there with you when you're with him,"
"He needs me," You whispered, "Sam, he's been through so much and I just... I think I can do him this kindness,"
"My offer still stands," He smiled
"What offer," You cocked a brow
"That we tell Barnes that you're madly in love me, babygirl," He laughed and you rolled your eyes
"You're insufferable," You groaned and turned to the window again
"You love it," He chuckled as you leaned your head on his shoulder
"I do," You told him softly because you truly did value the friendship that you'd come to find with Sam
"Wanna tell me what happened?" Steve came by after a day
"He just had a relapse," You explained
"Bullshit," He smirked and you nodded
"I was reading to him and I don't know, I guess he dozed off, the next thing I knew is that he was screaming about me being a trick by Pierce," You sighed, "He kept saying that I died during the war and I'm an imposter,"
"Sam thinks that you shouldn't be with Bucky by yourself anymore," He said softly, "I think he's right,"
"You know that will make him feel like a prisoner," You stated, "He needs kindness and he needs it from us,"
"Y/N," He began but you shook your head
"No," You said, "I'm going to keep trying until I can't,"
"Until he kills you?" Steve said the dreaded thing that was on everyone's mind
"Until I can't anymore," You nodded
"You shouldn't come by anymore," Bucky told you when you visited him after a few days
"I'm fine," You assured him
"I could've hurt you," He kept a distance from you
"Bucky," You began but he took a large step away from you
You sat down on the chair by the door and he sat by the window. Your mind was in turmoil. The man you loved was being tortured by himself and there was nothing you could do about it.
"I brought another story," You told him as you flipped through the pages, "It's called The Tortoise And The Bird,"
"You always bring children books," Bucky commented so softly and you almost didn't hear him
"Books for older people don't have moral lessons like these do," You explained as your finger ran over the delicate pages
"What's the moral of this one?" He sniggered
"A crowded hut is better than a lonely mansion," You whispered and Bucky's scornful face softened
"Why can't we stay at your house?" Bucky whispered in your ear as he got into bed with you
"Because I like it here," You reminded him
"Yours is bigger," He pointed out
"Yes, but this little place is homely," You smiled and he rested his head against your shoulder as his arms wrapped around waist from behind
"How'd I find you?" He mumbled as he left a trail of kisses
"Steve got into an alley fight, remember?" You laughed and you felt him smile against your skin
"Steve also can't walk in on us at your house," He said softly
"Well, if you didn't keep telling me to keep it down," You turned to look at Bucky, "He would know what he's about to see,"
Bucky's ears turned red with your comment and you giggled
"I'm telling you," You spoke softly, "If I could voice all the sounds you make me feel," You groaned and Bucky's flush spread across his face, "Everyone in the building would know that Bucky Barnes is a very gifted lover,"
You laughed and Bucky was speechless. It wasn't usual for Bucky to not have something to say but you almost always got it to happen.
"Lonely is fine if I don't hurt you," Bucky stated sternly and your heart broke because he was ready to push everything away
You sat down the book and walked towards Bucky. He wasn't a small man but in this moment, he looked like a child and he seemed so helpless. His hair was slightly longer and he was hugging his knees, trying to make himself even smaller.
"Bucky," You began, "Please don't shut me out,"
"I hurt you," He didn't meet your gaze
"But I'm fine now," You tried to explain but you noticed that he wasn't willing to listen, "Bucky,"
"No," His voice was harsh and it cut you like a knife
You couldn't remember a time when Bucky spoke to you in that tone. You swallowed hard and nodded numbly.
"You're welcome to push me away," You stood up, "But my heart will always be open and I'll still be here after everyone's left. All you have to do is ask,"
"I want to make a request," You had asked to speak with T'Challa privately, through the royal process, as a subject, not a friend
"Y/N," He began, "You are a guest in my home,"
"I stand before you as one of your many subjects, hoping that the King would do me this kindness even though he has done many for me and mine already," You spoke softly, avoiding his gaze entirely
T'Challa wasn't impressed with your knowledge of the royal process, but he was extremely appreciative of the way you treated him like royalty before seeing him as a friend.
"What is troubling you?" He smiled
"I want to leave for a while," You said slowly
"Leave?" He looked at you, "And go where?"
"I'm not sure," You confessed, "Maybe another city?"
"I thought you were not going to run anymore," He cocked a brow and you took a deep breath
"I'm not sure what else to do," You frowned as your eyes fell to the floor
T'Challa nodded as he walked on and you followed him wordlessly. He led you to the gardens. The sun was setting and the light was beginning to fade away.
"You know how every darkness promises a new dawn," He asked you and nodded, "This is the darkness before the dawn. Sergent Barnes has been in the dark for a very long time, the light makes him afraid," You nodded again, "He is afraid of you because you remind him of that light,"
"And Steve?" You asked
"Steve was there in the darkness. During the war, during the fall of SHIELD," He explained, "You weren't. You were the sun for him,"
"How can you be so sure?" You narrowed your gaze
"You met James Barnes in 1935, I believe," T'Challa smiled knowingly, "You were his dawn,"
You were shocked that T'Challa knew the year. Frankly, even you didn't remember the year. Your memories were associated with moments, not time.
"I'll be moving you closer to his quarters," He told you softly
"Yes, your Highness," You nodded and he left you standing in the gardens